My own flameful is that I've been talking to my STBXH every day for the past week, we just can't quit each other. We both blocked each other on gchat so we can't communicate this week to give us time to figure things out. It's mostly him that needs to figure shit out and decide if our marriage is worth working on as I've always wanted to do marriage counseling.
I guess what's flameful is that I didn't realize how hard it is not to talk to him daily yet he's filed for divorce. I know I need to just cut off ties if he's serious about divorcing me but it's so much easier said then done. I'm not stupid by any means so I know I can't allow him to have me around while he wants a divorce. This shit just really sucks!
People ask me all the time when I'm graduating. From high school. It is not a compliment. I took my high school kids and the waitress wouldn't speak to me, because she thought I was a student. I wanted to chew her out.
I'm sorry, Cleo. From what I "know" of you I think you are more sensitive than the average (I am too, it's not an insult). That sensitivity is part of what makes you an awesome friend and mom and wife, but it sucks when other people just trample on you because, well, you're too sensitive (of their feelings) to be a bitch about it and make them own their bad behavior.
For what it's worth I think your girls are darlings!
I agree with all of this and struggle with this also with my friends...which is probably why I really don't have any right now. I can relate with so much of your post, from the shower thing to people not calling you back. I take everything so personally and then end up dumping people because I hate feeling like a doormat.
I 1000% know what you mean! This is why I hope we become good friends soon.
Post by lightbulbsun on Jun 26, 2012 14:56:52 GMT -5
I'm sorry Cleo I would be your friend if we lived closer!
I recently went through something similar with my high school friends. I got really hurt when they pretty much ignored me when my mom was really sick last year. I always tried to be there for them when they were going through things, and it sucked that they didn't do the same.
I honestly feel closer to a lot of women on here than I do with a lot of my IRL friends. But on a realistic note, I have to wonder if there is something about me going on since I am the only common factor. Granted, a lot of stuff dropped off when I had C.
the common denominator could be that when you were forming these friendships, you were the type of person to be the giver in the friendship, and now you're tired of giving so much. that happend to me with some of my college friends and in law school i consciously sought out people who were LOW-MAINTENANCE. my friendships with them are much less work for the me i am now, not because my law school friends are better, but because i was such a different person when i met them.
it doesn't have to be that you're terrible or that they don't care about you because of YOU, but because of them. besides, she doesn't sound like she has too much sense or graciousness considering that she never bothered to consider how that "this is the first kid i feel close to" stuff would sound to you. so, maybe she just sucks as a person.
as for your friend for whom you are planning the shower, she may be the type of person to induce that sort of feeling (the "omg, i'd die for her! she's so special!" stuff). i have a good friend from college. she's just cool. everyone wants to be her friend. seriously. EVERYONE. and she barely talks, so it's not a life of the party shallow friend thing, she just draws people to her (her husband met her at a party for maybe 10 minutes and then, movie-like, hunted her down before the era of facebook and nonstop cellphone use for weeks). she's fun and interesting and i really like her. and if i didn't call her, we might not ever talk.
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Jun 26, 2012 14:58:49 GMT -5
((hugs)) Cleo. Friends like that suck.
My flameful is I hate being pregnant. I was so sick for the first 20 some odd weeks even with Zofran. I am just now weaning myself off of unisom and b6 at night. I feel nauseous and icky when I don't take it, but I felt like my doctor was judging me for still taking it, so I stopped. I am having horrible calf cramps and my inner thighs are all crampy like when I have menstrual cramps. I have been having braxton hicks, and they are kind of freaking me out, because I didn't have any at all when I was pregnant DD.
And, probably the most flameful of all is, I know I should call and let my doctor know I am having braxton hicks, because I have a bunch of scar tissue from my messed up c-section and the doctor doesn't want a a lot of stress on my uterus, but I am really taking it as easy as possible already, so I don't know what else there is do. And, part of me is equally afraid, that I am just over reacting and everything is fine and then I will feel like a giant idiot. I hate being pregnant. It makes me a crazy lunatic.
I got caught picking my nose in my cubicle at work today. Luckily it was a friend but I said out loud to her, "you just caught me picking my nose". wtf was I thinking? I should have pretended like she didn't see me!
Floyd's post about her BIL brought some feelings to the surface. When my SIL was pregnant, it was like she was giving birth to the Messiah. I seriously called it he second coming of Jesus. MIL had a balloon bouquet made for each set of great grandparents to announce SIL's pregnancy, the entire family flew out to be present for the shower I threw her, they all flew out to be present for the birth, and a ton of other over the top stuff. When I was pregnant with DD, MIL literally asked about my pregnancy maybe 4 times. Didn't come to my shower. Didn't come out for the birth (I didn't want them to though, but they sure as hell didn't offer), met her a few weeks after. With DS, they didn't meet him until he was 4 months old and FIL met him at 6 months. There is a lot more to it but I try to forget it because we have a good relationship now, but it really stings
Also, I look pretty young and while I do appreciate it, I hate the stares/judgement I get for it. If I answer the door people will ask if my parents are home.
A telemarketer called me about 2 years ago on my cell phone. When I answered she asked if my parents were available. I got shitty with her and told her I was 24. She apologized and gave up on trying to sell anything. I've been paranoid about sounding like an 8 year old on the phone ever since.
I think I do need some LM friends. The girl who is now pregnant, I am really excited for her and wanted to host the shower myself. We are still close, though work keeps her busy, and she wrote me a really lovely note to me after her wedding. My beef is really not with her, it's the other one.
I think the best I can do is just stop hoping or expecting too much from her.
Thanks for the supportive words and suggestions, it was just what I needed. And thank you for listening.
Oh and the one nestie (I can't stop using that term) that would beat any of those other broads out on looking younger than their age is Breebirdy. Not that the rest of you look old, but I am continually surprised by how young she looks when she shares a picture.
My flameful is I hate being pregnant. I was so sick for the first 20 some odd weeks even with Zofran. I am just now weaning myself off of unisom and b6 at night. I feel nauseous and icky when I don't take it, but I felt like my doctor was judging me for still taking it, so I stopped. I am having horrible calf cramps and my inner thighs are all crampy like when I have menstrual cramps. I have been having braxton hicks, and they are kind of freaking me out, because I didn't have any at all when I was pregnant DD.
And, probably the most flameful of all is, I know I should call and let my doctor know I am having braxton hicks, because I have a bunch of scar tissue from my messed up c-section and the doctor doesn't want a a lot of stress on my uterus, but I am really taking it as easy as possible already, so I don't know what else there is do. And, part of me is equally afraid, that I am just over reacting and everything is fine and then I will feel like a giant idiot. I hate being pregnant. It makes me a crazy lunatic.
Being pregnant sucks. It's made even worse by the people saying "Isn't being pregnant the best thing EVER?!?!".
Post by lightbulbsun on Jun 26, 2012 15:14:31 GMT -5
Well, a while ago I got told I looked 7 years older than I am, but the other day I answered the door for a salesman and he asked if my parents were home. I think I look my age, maybe a little older.
I am absolutely horrible at guessing how old people are, and I usually guess way too young.
I'm bummed I didn't have a wedding or baby shower. People offered, but I said no. Stupid, stupid. Oh well.
Flameful: My self-esteem is in the dumps and I was all sad this morning on the board like "Nobody here even knows I exist! Wah!" lol. I quickly realized I'm ridiculous.
Cleo, if you are anything IRL like you are on here, they are crazy not to keep up your friendship. I have a friend just about as sweet as you and I would do anything for her.
I was thinking this too. I'm sorry someone you care about is so insensitive.
When they diagnosed me with the genetic disorder, the doctor mentioned that I will probably look old prematurely due to the jacked up collagen in my face. So I'm hypersensitive about "looking my age"
Not a flameful, more of a random/lame confession, but I bruised my shin getting out of the shower this morning b/c I didn't lift my leg up high enough to clear the wall of the tub. derp.
I have bruises all over my legs and I have no idea how I got about 90% of them.
I sometimes wonder if H would be so interested in the baby and being a dad if we'd had a girl. I have no real reasons to believe he would, I just wonder. And it's really not fair because he is so good with Ben. I heard H calling him "my baby" yesterday, it was so effing cute.
I have always been the one to assert that we are NOT moving back up north. I love the weather here.
Well, I am NOT handling this tropical storm well at all. And we are just getting the outer bands. I am having major anxiety. Constantly checking for updates, have alerts set on my phone, not sleeping well, and am panicking about being at work and not being able to save my pets if the house flooded or a tornado hit.
And I am seriously wondering how I am going to handle bigger storms.
I don't know if I'm just being a baby or have never been through this before.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Jun 26, 2012 15:52:38 GMT -5
I always joke that during the first week of them semester, someone invariably asks my major, but by midterms they are making me feel like I'm 100 years old. Ah well, whatcha gonna do?
A few months ago our friend's 7 y.o. daughter said, "[Stepmom], you look like you're in your 20s. Kristin, you look like you're in your 30s." We're both 31.
I was outside running a few weeks ago and laughed to myself when I passed six college-aged guys trying to help another guy parallel park. The guys saw me and said, "Look, even that woman is laughing at you!"
Flameful: I am leaning toward having 1 kid and don't know how to tell DH. He has joked about "having fewer kids and a pack of dogs" but I'm leaning toward being serious about that.
I came from a family of 3 kids and money was always tight. DH came from a family of 4 but they never wanted for anything and all of them went to private school k-12/college
I'm the same spot. Ideally I would like to have three or four, but financially the strain would be monumental. My parents had three kids and were able to pay for everything - college, cars, activities, etc.- so we didn't go without, but they literally sucked every penny my dad made into savings and expenses for us. I'm not sure if I could be that focused and self sacrificing every day.