Pit bull Owners: Talk Me Down

[Jalapeñomel]

Just say no. Your house, your rules. You don't need to justify anything.

[Jalapeñomel]

Even if you introduce the dogs in a neutral manner , you have no idea how they will get along (especially when new people and food are in the equation).

I think it's unfair to your dog to bring a dog over into her territory and then crate her if something goes awry.

[berbles]

Nov 8, 2013 15:40:42 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

Nov 8, 2013 15:38:01 GMT -5 berbles said:

I was going to say this, too.

In fact, I would highly suggest that you ask her to come over early and you meet at the corner (or something) and go for a 20-30 minute walk with both dogs.  That will help socialize them to each other AND wear them out a little bit, so there's less kinetic energy in your house later.

Great ideas!  I'm going to ask her to come a bit early and then we'll walk them together.  

I just can't imagine that she'd bring a dangerous dog and I'm afraid MY ISSUES about pit bulls are the problem.  I really don't want to prejudge.  If she had a pomeranian/pug/shih tzu/poodle/terrier, etc. this would be a non-issue to me

I think a walk together will help YOU too

[TrickyBob]

I would say no. Even though it is normal in London, like others said - 2 dogs in a small area that aren't used to each other. That doesn't give your dog much room to hide and it doesn't give the other dog room to hide.

I'd be inclined to have a different answer if they knew each other and you knew for sure that they got along. But the last thing I'd want to do at a dinner party is worry about how my dog is acting and having to watch the dog all the time.

[mcmel]

I can't speak for all pits obviously, but mine is absolutely the sweetest thing. She plays at dog parks and in our home with small dogs frequently without issue.

My border collie is quite the opposite and is extremely territorial and protective. I actually took her to a behaviorist who happened to have a pit. We began by introducing all the dogs (my pit tagged along for the ride). As soon as the pits saw each other they flopped on their backs in a submissive position to greet each other. We literally had 2 pitbulls upside down and wagging their whole bodies at each other while my border collie was going apeshit.

I truly hope this experience goes well for you and that the pup blows your mind with how nice it is.

[Stingyshark]

This is weird.

I have a pit bull... he's nice but I would never bring him to a dinner party.. especially where there were going to be other dogs. He likes some dogs, but not all. There is no way for her to know if her dog will like your dog; or if your dog will like her dog.

Maybe it's just my dogs; but they get along with some dogs, and not with others.

this is so so weird.

[Alyssa]

I don't care what breed it is......no dogs are allowed over for dinner. Dogs put their mouths on things, they slobber, they pee, the chew on furniture, they shake and fur flies off them....absolutely no dogs are allowed. What a weird request.


You also never bring an outside dog over to another dog's home without properly introducing them in neutral territory first.

[agnes]

Here's my take as someone who has a circle of friends that bring dogs to everything.

I am going to assume that your friend knows her dog's temperment well enough to be comfortable around other dogs. Have you asked her about it? If the dog does well with other smaller dogs? Maybe that could give you some reassurance.

Also an anecdote: My aunt has a doggy day care business and she also owns a pit bull. This dog LOVES all the other dogs and is the sweetest thing.

[berbles]

OMG people. How many times does she have to say that the request isn't weird?!

[bonquiqui]

Nov 8, 2013 15:58:12 GMT -5 berbles said:

OMG people. How many times does she have to say that the request isn't weird?!

It's weird    Mine came before that post so ha

[speckledfrog]

Nov 8, 2013 15:58:12 GMT -5 berbles said:

OMG people. How many times does she have to say that the request isn't weird?!

At least four more.

I think that if your dog is used to dogs of all sizes coming over and is cool with and her dog is used to dogs of all sizes and is cool with it then it's okay to go for it.  I understand your hesitation and think it's good that you acknowledge that it prejudice on your part and that you are willing to see what happens.  You know your dog best and, assuming she's generally not an idiot, she knows her dog best and things should be fine.    

[dirtyred]

My 14 pound terrier mix LOVES all the pitties at day care.

Until all this dogfighting stuff, pit bulls used to be called the nanny dog because they ere so caring and gentle with kids.

[lime]

Nov 8, 2013 15:50:25 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I think it's unfair to your dog to bring a dog over into her territory and then crate her if something goes awry.

It is absolutely unfair, no question about it. However, it is also better than the OP worrying constantly about her dog's safety. 

This is plan B to calling her back and saying she isn't comfortable with the dog coming over, which is sounds like she doesn't want to do. 

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 15:56:41 GMT -5 Alyssa said:

I don't care what breed it is......no dogs are allowed over for dinner. Dogs put their mouths on things, they slobber, they pee, the chew on furniture, they shake and fur flies off them....absolutely no dogs are allowed. What a weird request.

You are obviously not a dog person, hahaha

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 15:51:00 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 8, 2013 15:40:42 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

Great ideas!  I'm going to ask her to come a bit early and then we'll walk them together.  

I just can't imagine that she'd bring a dangerous dog and I'm afraid MY ISSUES about pit bulls are the problem.  I really don't want to prejudge.  If she had a pomeranian/pug/shih tzu/poodle/terrier, etc. this would be a non-issue to me

I think a walk together will help YOU too

I think you're right.  I just need to have a positive experience with a pit.  Intellectually, I know I shouldn't prejudge them.  Again, if it were any small-breed dog I wouldn't blink an eye.  

[Dusky]

I agree with others that if you are that uncomfortable with the situation it is perfectly acceptable for you to ask them to leave the dog at home.

If you don't want to go that route, just treat it like you would any other large breed. Introduce them slowly, keep a close eye on them, and have a plan in place in case they don't get along.

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 15:57:45 GMT -5 agnes said:

Here's my take as someone who has a circle of friends that bring dogs to everything.

I am going to assume that your friend knows her dog's temperment well enough to be comfortable around other dogs. Have you asked her about it? If the dog does well with other smaller dogs? Maybe that could give you some reassurance.

Also an anecdote: My aunt has a doggy day care business and she also owns a pit bull. This dog LOVES all the other dogs and is the sweetest thing.

She asked me over Facebook PM if it would be okay.  I said as long as she thought he'd get along well with my dog, it would be fine.  She said they should be fine.  I just can't imagine that she'd bring a dangerous dog.  So I'm really hoping for a positive experience.  It would be really good for ME to let go of some of this fear.

[Deleted]

So, I am so conflicted on pitt bulls. I donate to pitt bull rescues. I feel horribly that I think they probably have an undeserved bad reputation. But. I won't let them around my dogs. My dogs are not small - they're huskies - and they are good fighters. But they are too precious to me to risk around a dog that I think could even possibly ever hurt them. I love them too much to take the risk. My mom asked just last week, when she was driving Nika to me, if I minded if she stopped at a friend's house who has pitt bulls and I said no. I would risk myself, but I won't risk the dogs.

So I am on team saying no. It is probably wrong but that's where I come out IRL.

ETA: And, also, Nika is a beauty queen and I can't risk her getting scarred. Obviously.

[TC]

Nov 8, 2013 16:33:30 GMT -5 elle said:

So, I am so conflicted on pitt bulls. I donate to pitt bull rescues. I feel horribly that I think they probably have an undeserved bad reputation. But. I won't let them around my dogs. My dogs are not small - they're huskies - and they are good fighters. But they are too precious to me to risk around a dog that I think could even possibly ever hurt them. I love them too much to take the risk. My mom asked just last week, when she was driving Nika to me, if I minded if she stopped at a friend's house who has pitt bulls and I said no. I would risk myself, but I won't risk the dogs.

So I am on team saying no. It is probably wrong but that's where I come out IRL.

Sometimes I am wary of pitts around dogs for the same reason I am wary of huskies around cats. A certain level of dog aggression is absolutely acceptable breed standard for pitties, just like small animal prey drive is absolutely acceptable breed standard for huskies. Do most of dogs of those breeds have an issue with it? Probably not. Does the fact that it is not actively and intentionally being bred out make it more likely to come up? Sure does. It's okay to set your own limits. 

I'd have no problem with someone assuming my husky mix could injure or kill their cat. He might. I don't know. He's been raised with cats sitting on his face and eating his food and all that, so probably not but it's in him to have that potential and that's fine so we set limits for him and other people because of it. 

I'm also extra cautious with my dog around pitts, not because I'm so worried the pittie will attack, but because my dog is rude as shit sometimes and I don't like to let that behavior fly with a breed in which is it acceptable and appropriate for them to have a reduced level of dog tolerance. Golden retrievers eat him up, pitties are like "Mmmm, you need to go sit down, good sir". And that's fine. They aren't bad dogs for that. I don't understand why breed discussions always need to be some flameful argument. Chow Chows are another breed in which a certain level of dog aggression is considered breed standard so I'm equally cautious there. 

Dogs are weird. I think where you come out IRL is fine.

[Deleted]

I'll admit that I'm also very scared of pitbulls. Chows, too. I would not let either of those breeds come to my house. I'm sure they're not ask bad, but it's my house, so... I do what I want!

[Stingyshark]

Whether or not he's "dangerous" doesn't mean that they will get along. Our Pit LOVES his "sister" who is a 20lb schnauzer/yorkie. He LOVES my Moms German Shepherd, and he LOVES my BILs pit.. but he HATES my BILS german shepherd, and hates BILs 3 other little dogs.

I would just be wary of having him over because your dogs have never met before. Is she prepared to leave immediately if they do not get along?

[furby]

Pit Bulls are a banned breed in the UK. Are you sure she has one? Is it possibly a Staffie?

Any dog found to be a PB or PB 'type' are euthanised btw. I in no way agree with this. (I ask as a dog lover and a lawyer.)

[dcannie]

Nov 8, 2013 17:07:31 GMT -5 furby said:

Pit Bulls are a banned breed in the UK. Are you sure she has one? Is it possibly a Staffie?

Any dog found to be a PB or PB 'type' are euthanised btw. I in no way agree with this. (I ask as a dog lover and a lawyer.)

they do not consider a staffie a "pit bull type?" 

[pitterwoo]

Nov 8, 2013 17:07:31 GMT -5 furby said:

Pit Bulls are a banned breed in the UK. Are you sure she has one? Is it possibly a Staffie?

Any dog found to be a PB or PB 'type' are euthanised btw. I in no way agree with this. (I ask as a dog lover and a lawyer.)

This was my first thought. Did she say she has a pit bull or are you assuming the breed from a picture or something?

Either way, I think if you're going to be really unsettled during the party you shouldn't do it. I think it's worth being candid with the owner and say that you're concerned because your dog is so much smaller. See if she can tell you more about the dog's temperment around dogs and I like the idea of walking them together before dinner too.

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 17:09:39 GMT -5 dcannie said:

Nov 8, 2013 17:07:31 GMT -5 furby said:

Pit Bulls are a banned breed in the UK. Are you sure she has one? Is it possibly a Staffie?

Any dog found to be a PB or PB 'type' are euthanised btw. I in no way agree with this. (I ask as a dog lover and a lawyer.)

they do not consider a staffie a "pit bull type?" 

Right, not a "pit bull," but a Staffie.  Maybe even a Staffie mix.  Are Staffies much different, though? 

[pittsmcgee]

I own a Pit, but I really wouldn't be inviting him over places.
He's lazy and sweet and I am madly in love with him, but I think he's better left at home if we go to dinner parties.
Strange. I need time off from allllllllll the kids.

[berbles]

Nov 8, 2013 17:45:01 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

Nov 8, 2013 17:09:39 GMT -5 dcannie said:

they do not consider a staffie a "pit bull type?" 

Right, not a "pit bull," but a Staffie.  Maybe even a Staffie mix.  Are Staffies much different, though? 

A Stafforshire Terrier (not an American Staffordshire) would be considerably smaller than what most would consider a pitty.  Like English bulldog height.

[expatpumpkin]

Nov 8, 2013 18:25:26 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 8, 2013 17:45:01 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

Right, not a "pit bull," but a Staffie.  Maybe even a Staffie mix.  Are Staffies much different, though? 

A Stafforshire Terrier (not an American Staffordshire) would be considerably smaller than what most would consider a pitty.  Like English bulldog height.

Yes, he's about this size, but with a more narrow face.  I'm 99% sure he's mixed.  So less tendency towards aggression?

[TrickyBob]

Don't all dogs have a tendency towards aggression though?

[berbles]

Nov 8, 2013 18:32:12 GMT -5 expatpumpkin said:

Nov 8, 2013 18:25:26 GMT -5 berbles said:

A Stafforshire Terrier (not an American Staffordshire) would be considerably smaller than what most would consider a pitty.  Like English bulldog height.

Yes, he's about this size, but with a more narrow face.  I'm 99% sure he's mixed.  So less tendency towards aggression?

I can't comment on it.  I've never met a Staffie and moreover, I've never met your friend's dog.  

I REALLY think you should meet up with your friend and her pup before the party.  Like a few days before, not an hour before.  See how you feel around the dog.  And don't feel ashamed or pressured into feeling like you HAVE to be ok with him because you don't want to sound prejudiced about bully breeds.  It's your home, your dog, your choice.