Conclusion to the BM shoe drama

[moonstone523]

Awesome. The bride choose silver sparkly, 4 in platform heels that look like cheap stripper shoes to go with our flowy, airy dresses. They aren't for the ceremony but for pictures only.

The awesome part is... The only come in up to size 10 and I wear an 11. And my 7month pregnany feet might not even fit into a size 11.

Fuck.

Why is this so fucking complicated?

[sara76]

If I ever have another friend ask me to be a bridesmaid I'm saying no. Lol.

[tashaandsage]

Asking you at 7 month pregnant to wear 4 inch platforms actually is pretty insensitive. And asking you to wear them when they don't even come in your size is downright rude. Never mind that they sound tacky as hell.

[amellis2]

Not to mention "they're just for pictures."

If you gonna roll barefoot, be true, man.

[sara76]

I agree, insensitive and tacky. Especially after she was all put off by the question in the first place.

[moonstone523]

Jun 28, 2012 9:46:39 GMT -5 sara76 said:

If I ever have another friend ask me to be a bridesmaid I'm saying no. Lol.

Seriously.

[mrsmew]

Awful. Who are these brides that love the tacky stripper shoes for weddings? I was in a wedding once and the bride didn't know what color shoes would best match our dresses (they were royal blue) so she had us get clear shoes. CLEAR. Clear plastic. Like glass slippers but for strippers. But at least they came in my size?

I feel you, lady.

[moonstone523]

Jun 28, 2012 9:47:13 GMT -5 tashaandsage said:

Asking you at 7 month pregnant to wear 4 inch platforms actually is pretty insensitive. And asking you to wear them when they don't even come in your size is downright rude. Never mind that they sound tacky as hell.

I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable. But this makes me not even want to be in the wedding.

I am not a 4in heel wearer - pregnant or not. And I seriously want to cry thinking about it.

What do I do?

[alzi]

You say " oh man! They don't come in my size, guess ill have to find something similar!"
And then find a flat or low heel in the same color.

[moonstone523]

Bride to BM: "The dressses are light and flowy, so you should be pretty comfortable if the weather is humid.  I was gonna let everyone pick their own shoes, but after many suggestions, I just decided to pick ones out that I liked  :-)   Sorry if your not into flashy sparkles, but I love them and they will be fun for pictures!!! (see link below- you should be able to order them online, or in the store if you have a DSW near you----make sure you order the SILVER ones)  For the ceremony everyone will be in bare feet, the shoes are just for pictures right before and right after.   (I hope you are prepared to be in 1,000,000 + pictures)"


Link to shoes: 4.5in heel
www.dsw.com/shoe/rampage+gracee+glitter+pump?prodId=dsw12prod2980013&productRef=SEARCH

[sara76]

Seriously who in their right mind would ask their friend who is traveling while 7 months pregnant to freaking MEXICO to spend $40 on those shoes for pictures? Unbelievable. Weddings really can bring out the worst in people.

[amellis2]

So. The heel on that show. It's not glitter-y. This bothers me.

Go all the way or go home.

P.S. I agree with Alzi - Sorry, my preggo feet can't fit to a size available. Ooopsie.

[sara76]

Oh and I've seen the dress, and no. Those shoes are awful.

[sara76]

And why did she write silver in all caps? Was this in reference to the previous request for white shoes not going over well? Maybe this is just me being a sourpuss, and shows their is great room for translation in our new world of texting and emailing, but I don't like it.

[aegis2005]

Are you kidding me?!? My two SIL's were both 7 months pregnant in our wedding, and I told them to just find something that wouldn't make their feet hurt (or would at least minimize the hurt)

[lauren9317]

UGH... that sentence about "sorry of your [sic...lol] not into flashy sparkles..." annoyed me. I've never had a bride force us to buy a certain type of shoes! It's always where the bride gives you a color and you pick a nice style. Yikes, that sucks.

[mrsmew]

I might have missed talk of the dress, but is it a long dress? Because if so, I'm wondering how you're going to hem your dress to both be the right length for bare feet during the ceremony and 4 inch heels for the pictures.

If it's a short dress and you already told us that, ignore me and carry on.

[moonstone523]

Our dresses are short.

[moonstone523]

Okay ladies who have been pg... Is it unreasonable of me to think that wearing 4.5in heels in 90 degree heat is going to be uncomfortable?

[jen812]

Jun 28, 2012 14:08:30 GMT -5 moonstone523 said:

Okay ladies who have been pg... Is it unreasonable of me to think that wearing 4.5in heels in 90 degree heat is going to be uncomfortable?

I'd seriously tell her they're not in your size. Maybe you'll get a free pass.

But, I think you'll be alright if you're only wearing them for a few pictures (or 1,000,000). I'd be mad about dropping $40 'just for a fewpictures'.

[mrsjason]

Jun 28, 2012 14:08:30 GMT -5 moonstone523 said:

Okay ladies who have been pg... Is it unreasonable of me to think that wearing 4.5in heels in 90 degree heat is going to be uncomfortable?

Yeah, no. I would not be able to wear those when I was 7.5 months pregnant. Around that time of my pregnancy my swelling kicked in full force and there would be no way I could shove my fat feet into those shoes.

I am not sure if you were on TN when I was pregnant with Macy but I had CRAZY, CRAZY swelling. So much so that the only thing I could wear was size 10 mens flip flops. I typically wear a 6.5 in womens. It wasn't the length I needed, I just couldn't find shoes wide enough to fit my feet in.

I would send her a nice email and remind her that you are pregnant and while you hate to be a PITA, you just don't think these shoes are going to work for you. Besides, they don't even carry your size.

A considerate bride would come up with another plan.

[sara76]

I never had a problem with swelling until the very last day I was pregnant do I could have fit into them (granted if they ran in my size in the first place) but my balance was off and they would have been very uncomfortable. I think Kathy is right in how you should approach it and that a considerate bride will come up with an alternative. It's not that stressful planning a wedding that you can't take a few minutes to make sure your bridesmaids are not wanting to cry thinking about the event. Hopefully she will be understanding.

[moonstone523]

Seriously sitting on the plane right now crying. I'm such a mess. I took a red eye home from San Fran last night. And was home less than 6 hours and I'm back on another plane
I'm sleep deprived and these heels are totally throwing me for a loop. I feel like a needy pregnant lady.

Anyways, here is what I sent to the bride.

"Hi B, 
I can't make it to DSW this weekend, but I'll try to go next week to try on shoes. I have to be honest with you though. I'm having a hard time dealing with the thought of wearing 4in heels.  So much so that the mere thought makes me cry.  Seriously.  I'm sure part of that is hormonal, but part of it is practical. At 7months pregnant, I'm concerned about stuffing my already huge feet into uncomfortable shoes in the heat. I'm concerned a size 11 shoe might not even fit, but I wont know until I go try some on. I'm concerned that we are going to have a million a one pics (of our feet?) and I'll be the odd one out. I'm concerned that my advice was "just tell us what shoes to get." and the pair you suggest doesn't even come in my size. I'm concerned about "hurting your feelings" over shoes which in the grand scheme of life and this wedding is so minor, but I know you want things perfect. 

I just have to tell you how I'm feeling because it really is bottling up and making me feel sad. 

Carolyn"

Still crying on the plane. What is wrong with me?

[sara76]

Aww I'm sorry:(. You're right, part is hormonal and part is practical. I think you did the right thing by telling her. You're friends, that's why she chose you to be one of her bridesmaids. Now just sit tight and try and rest while you wait to hear that everything is going to be OK. The hormones are nuts when you are making a person. Like pms 1,000,000+. Tired and swollen feet or not, I'll bet you're still beautiful and glowing.

[amellis2]

Jun 28, 2012 16:02:46 GMT -5 moonstone523 said:

Seriously sitting on the plane right now crying. I'm such a mess. I took a red eye home from San Fran last night. And was home less than 6 hours and I'm back on another plane
I'm sleep deprived and these heels are totally throwing me for a loop. I feel like a needy pregnant lady.

Anyways, here is what I sent to the bride.

"Hi B, 
I can't make it to DSW this weekend, but I'll try to go next week to try on shoes. I have to be honest with you though. I'm having a hard time dealing with the thought of wearing 4in heels.  So much so that the mere thought makes me cry.  Seriously.  I'm sure part of that is hormonal, but part of it is practical. At 7months pregnant, I'm concerned about stuffing my already huge feet into uncomfortable shoes in the heat. I'm concerned a size 11 shoe might not even fit, but I wont know until I go try some on. I'm concerned that we are going to have a million a one pics (of our feet?) and I'll be the odd one out. I'm concerned that my advice was "just tell us what shoes to get." and the pair you suggest doesn't even come in my size. I'm concerned about "hurting your feelings" over shoes which in the grand scheme of life and this wedding is so minor, but I know you want things perfect. 

I just have to tell you how I'm feeling because it really is bottling up and making me feel sad. 

Carolyn"

Still crying on the plane. What is wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you. You don't want to be awful to the bride - asking her tons of questions and everything. You are being a very nice and considerate BM; she knows that your pg, and I'm KNOW you're not the first BM to get pregnant during the course of planning a wedding, so she should be considerate of that.

It's rough, it's hormones, and your life will change for forever very soon (and that is a lot of stress.)

Sometimes, though, a good cry is cathartic. (hug)

[moonstone523]

Okay. She responded and said I'm being crazy, and if I
Showed up in a brown bag she wouldn't care. She have me some
Options and I feel better.

[babybchbum]

glad she gave you other options...I had a BM who gave birth 10days before my wedding and I knew she wasn't a heels person, I had a heel and a flat option for all of my girls so they could choose. I'm glad she figured it out after you polite email (which is way nice than I would have been)

[jennifer8080]

Those shoes are ridiculous. I'm glad she's giving you other options.

[sara76]

Where did my response go? Hmmph GBCN!
I'm so glad you have alternatives now! 2 cheers for being honest and straight forward and feeling better and beautiful again

[krystalskitsch]

Glad it's working out. Just a story about my wedding... I had my girls just in silver flip flops and they brought silver heels for formal pictures...Um.... we somehow never ended up putting our shoes back on? LOL. I had a similar intention to do casual wedding, silver heels for formal photos, then off to the reception but it never worked out that way!

Either way -- good luck!