What the hell is it with the older generation thinking babies need eat all the food so very early? My sister's MIL suggested she put chocolate in the mashed bananas or brown sugar in the sweet potatoes so the baby would eat more. Seriously? She also tried to push juice in his bottle at about 6 weeks.
I never thought I'd say this, but your mother sounds bat shit crazier than MY mother.
((betty))
I was thinking the same thing. My mom will repeat her "suggestions" to you over and over again until you either just give in or blow up at her, so I sympathize. But your mom took crazy to a whole new level, and all over pears! Sorry you had to deal with that, Betty. Sounds like maybe your mom babysitting for you isn't the best idea.
Also - WTF REZA INDEED! @bettyhomewrecker33 I couldn't believe it!
Wtf, for real. Jaw dropped.
When he first started getting snippy at the neighbor in his house, we were like "Huh. I think he has some unresolved issues..." and then at the club OMG. I wanted to cry for that guy and his brother. Also, for Reza, b/c I like him and it's clear he really does have some unresolved shit.
What the hell is it with the older generation thinking babies need eat all the food so very early? My sister's MIL suggested she put chocolate in the mashed bananas or brown sugar in the sweet potatoes so the baby would eat more. Seriously? She also tried to push juice in his bottle at about 6 weeks.
This lady at my work who is 70 said when she had kids the doctors recommended starting purees within days of birth. DAYS!
Seriously though, good for you for pushing back. She got to raise her kids, and needs to understand that she's not the decision maker here.
I have used thsi on family members, too. My mom, my aunt, etc.
"You had your chance. TWICE. Get over it. I am not doing X, Y, or Z. I GOT THIS. My pedi and I talked about it." :::hairy eyeball:::
My aunt tried all that subterfuge crap when she visited. I think my DS was 3mo old. Trying to get him to eat 'solids' and thinking she'd sneak stuff in. Suggested putting SUGAR on things to get him to try or like it. I think she finally heard me when I said she would not be able to be alone with him if I didn't think I could trust her. She stopped immediately.
My mom always tells me DS is SO THIRSTY because I only give him about 4-5oz of milk at a time. Because when *I* I was a baby, she gave me 8-10oz. And she makes a HUGE FUCKING DEAL OUT OF IT.
GMIL, who is 93, talks about how she started her babies on orange juice right away so she wouldn't have to nurse them as often. She is definitely concerned that I don't give my baby juice. What she doesn't mention is that she constantly battled diarrhea and diaper rash with her kids and that her youngest had gained less than a pound by the time she was 8 mos., so I've been told. MIL (this is her MIL I'm talking about) really enjoys telling me that last part.
Mom: you need to feed her pears! You: you might be right, Mom, but H and I have decided to wait to give solid foods until about 6 months.
Mom: your pediatrician sucks! You: You might be right, Mom, but we have decided he is an excellent Dr. for O.
Mom: You have PP depression! You: You might be right, Mom, but my Dr. and I have spoken at length about it and have a plan in place should I need to address it.
Repeat ad nauseam. This way, you acknowledge her comments while dismissing them at the same time.
Mom: you need to feed her pears! You: you might be right, Mom, but H and I have decided to wait to give solid foods until about 6 months.
Mom: your pediatrician sucks! You: You might be right, Mom, but we have decided he is an excellent Dr. for O.
Mom: You have PP depression! You: You might be right, Mom, but my Dr. and I have spoken at length about it and have a plan in place should I need to address it.
Repeat ad nauseam. This way, you acknowledge her comments while dismissing them at the same time.
this is nice, but I prefer to calmly and quietly tell people that they are fucking nutjobs.
Mom: you need to feed her pears! You: you're a fucking nutjob
this also acknowledges her comment while dismissing it
It totally sounds like something my mom would do. Her thing was that I refused to use blankets on them (over their footed pjs AND sleep sacks) and she would sneak behind me and rolled them in a warm blanket. One time I flipped and threatened to never let her see the kids again.
I am sorry. I think you did well. Hopefully she comes to her senses.
My mother pulls this shit all.the.time. She is constantly telling me that "they" say this, and "they" say that. I try to quietly let it roll off my back, but JFC it is grating. When I ask who exactly "they" are, she gets all huffy like I'm the most disrespectful person evah.
What the hell is it with the older generation thinking babies need eat all the food so very early? My sister's MIL suggested she put chocolate in the mashed bananas or brown sugar in the sweet potatoes so the baby would eat more. Seriously? She also tried to push juice in his bottle at about 6 weeks.
Oh god.
I just remembered my mom told me I should just pump and add cereal in the bottle so that my babies wouldn't be do hungry. At like 2 months.
You are so smart. I didn't figure out how to be breezy about my mom's antics until the age of 35. So....within the past few months. LOL.
This would not be unexpected from my mother. Once she was with us looking at a beautiful house in a wonderful neighborhood but it was (gasp) near apartments. Where there could be POOR PEOPLE. In front of the Realtor, she whined all the way there, reluctantly got out of the car, then actually stomped her foot inside the house and burst into tears. Walked out of the house and sat in the car in protest. I don't even want to get into why she was with us in the first place.
Does she ever realize she lost it and apologize? Or will she eventually just pretend it never happened?
The last thing she said as she was standing in the doorway is that the only way she would talk any further is if I apologized. My response was "Ok. Sounds great."
Locked door.
She will call in about a week and act like nothing happened, which really I prefer. I don't want to go down some wormhole of excuses and justifications that don't make sense or matter.
I never thought I'd say this, but your mother sounds bat shit crazier than MY mother.
((betty))
I was thinking the same thing. My mom will repeat her "suggestions" to you over and over again until you either just give in or blow up at her, so I sympathize. But your mom took crazy to a whole new level, and all over pears! Sorry you had to deal with that, Betty. Sounds like maybe your mom babysitting for you isn't the best idea.
Oh and lol at pear pressure
Lol, I have no idea why they do that. At one point at dinner I said something like "I understand why you are upset. You think we are negotiating. We're not. I can see where that would be stressful for you."
Then she was all IT IS SO RUDE AND MEAN AND AWFUL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME CALMLY. I AM UPSET. SHE DRANK LIKE 18 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE. YOU ARE BEING DISRESPECTFUL. YOUR BABY IS SO HUNGRY. SHE WANTED TO EAT ALL DAY TODAY. ALL DAY. STARVING. SHE DRANK LIKE 24 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT TO HER TO GAIN WEIGHT. I ALWAYS AM SO NICE TO YOU AND YOU ARE SO MEAN. STOP BEING CALM! YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY AND BE NICE TO ME! SHE DRANK LIKE 50 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE!
Me: "Wow, that sounds like she ate a lot today. Looks like she's getting better! You should have gotten a mango margarita, these taste so good"
Mom: OMFG OLD COUNTRY YADA YADA I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU THE BABY NEEDS HELP YOU WERE A SPOILED SEVENTH GRADER THE PROBLEM IS I JUST LOVED YOU TOO MUCH SHE DRANK ONE MILLION OUNCES OF MILK TODAYYYYYYYY I'M GOING TO WAIT OUTSIDE.
Me: "Ok, sounds like you need to take a breather. I'm going to finish eating, I'll be outside when I'm done."
Mom: THIS IS SO MEAN. YOU'RE KICKING ME OUT OF THE RESTAURANT.
Me: "Yes, I'm the one saying you should leave. Jedi mind trick. You caught me. These tilapia tacos are delicious."
Then she was all IT IS SO RUDE AND MEAN AND AWFUL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME CALMLY. I AM UPSET. SHE DRANK LIKE 18 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE. YOU ARE BEING DISRESPECTFUL. YOUR BABY IS SO HUNGRY. SHE WANTED TO EAT ALL DAY TODAY. ALL DAY. STARVING. SHE DRANK LIKE 24 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT TO HER TO GAIN WEIGHT. I ALWAYS AM SO NICE TO YOU AND YOU ARE SO MEAN. STOP BEING CALM! YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY AND BE NICE TO ME! SHE DRANK LIKE 50 OUNCES OF MILK WHILE YOU WERE GONE!
This sounds exactly like my 5 year old. When she wants to get a rise out of me so she can take control. Good for you for staying calm - stick to that strategy. Your mom is actually training you to be a good parent in a few years.
I'm sorry, I had to laugh at that exchange because it sounds sooo similar to situations with my mom. And the exchanges that I will have to look forward to once my little one is born. She repeats her suggestions nonstop, talks about how they used to do things in Europe, you know, like 50 years ago, and that the way we do things now is such nonsense. And that's why we're breeding a generation of oversensitive, allergic-to-everything, spoiled children. I honestly don't even know how to respond sometimes. And then when you don't follow her advice, she gets all huffy and pouty like a child.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, Betty. It must be incredibly stressful dealing with an actual infant and an adult acting like an infant at the same time. Just know you're not alone!
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby