My neighbor just went to jail.

[Amy]

Dec 18, 2013 7:13:19 GMT -5 @coconut said:

My husband just had kidney stones and he wasn't given any narcotics. Hmmm. I'm thinking there is a lot more going on behind those closed doors than they are willing to share with you. If you are friends with her in a way that you want to be there for her (more than just neighborly exchanges), maybe you can try to get her to open up about what the hell is really going on and help her get the support necessary to make the best decision moving forward for herself and the baby.

I was given a ton (way too many) narcotics after I left the ER with kidney stones. I side eyed the prescription. It's normal to get Percocet post kidney stones

[koopa17]

Holy crap. You are a really good friend, what a crazy ordeal.

[Deleted]

Oh geez. I'm sorry.

[penelope]

Prescription pill addiction is becoming so widely spread, and it is really scary stuff. It happens fast.

Press all charges that can be pressed, for your safety and hers. Last week the couple across the street from us had the cops at their house at 4:00 am, when DH left for work. Come to find out it was domestic violence. His wife died two days ago due to extensive brain inuries received. The more time away from him she has, the more clearly she will be able to see the real picture.

[CurlyQ284]

I'm glad she got the baby and he can eat now, poor thing. I'm sorry your friend is moving away but this is for the best. Her husband is not healthy, that's the nicest way I could think to put that.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 7:57:27 GMT -5 kcr1972 said:

Hey I am seriously wondering if you live in my town since you said you are in GA and the cop comment wouldn't surprise me one bit since they are total dicks around here.

Are you in by chance in CC? If so, please report it but don't expect much. The cops there are the biggest assholes in the state and get away with it.

Yes! Wow, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. Hey, if you know which one I'm talking about, go to the crime website and look at the mugshots from last night. You'll know when you see his.

Also, I'm PMing you.

[Deleted]

I don't feel like I did anything "above and beyond" what anyone would do for a friend in this situation. I'm hurting for her because I know she has a huge decision to make, but I think this was the final straw.

She told me last night that she could see her H's cell across the way. He was apparently banging on the walls, screaming, talking to himself, etc. Does this sound like a manic episode?

His-(can't tag on mobile, sorry) No. Our husbands are union and work on different crews, but neither has any seniority. I told T not to talk about it today, and I know he wouldn't.

[whitemerlot]

What a scary situation. I'm glad your friend is getting out.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 6:59:01 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

that really does not sound like Percocet. what other drugs does he use? and, fuck that officer. What a dreadful thing to say.

I honestly don't know. He told the cops he had taken a handful, and they were spread across the coffee table covered in blood. There were more in the bottle covered.

[CloudBee]

That's overwhelming. I'm so sorry.

[hbear]

Dec 18, 2013 7:13:19 GMT -5 @coconut said:

My husband just had kidney stones and he wasn't given any narcotics. Hmmm. I'm thinking there is a lot more going on behind those closed doors than they are willing to share with you. If you are friends with her in a way that you want to be there for her (more than just neighborly exchanges), maybe you can try to get her to open up about what the hell is really going on and help her get the support necessary to make the best decision moving forward for herself and the baby.

DH did have kidney stones and was given Percocet.

He only took it a few times. But it's not unusual to be given narcotics for that.

Also, this story made me teary. You are a good friend, OP. I can't imagine how scared your friend must have been away from her baby and in jail no less.

[Muddled]

Brad got all sorts of great drugs along with his kidney stones.


This is an awful story. Although it's sad for you, I'm glad to hear that she moved out. I hope she stays safe.

[azurely]

Oh wow, your poor friend. I'm so glad you were able to be there for her. I hope she stays safe and that her H gets the help he needs.

[iamali]

You are a wonderful person. I'm so sorry that your friend is moving away from you, but it sounds like it's for the best.

[Deleted]

You are a wonderful friend.

That cop sucks.

I am so sad all around for the situation. I hope your friend moves away. She needs to.

[lkoenig]

Dec 18, 2013 10:00:37 GMT -5 @lauriergirl28 said:

You are a wonderful friend.

That cop sucks.

I am so sad all around for the situation. I hope your friend moves away. She needs to.

This....and just ditto on the amazing friend, I know you're doing what anyone else would probably do in the same situation (but it's still amazing)

[Deleted]

Percocet doesn't make someone into an abuser. It may make them short tempered, but the physical abuse. . . That's actually his true personality. I would be shocked if he had never done this before.

She should push the cops to DNA the blood, or at least type it (if she and her husband have different blood types). Her husband will say it is his blood if they don't take a DNA test. The police won't want to for a DV case but she should lawyer up and insist. If finances are tight she should call legal aid. And if the police won't collect the blood, her lawyer should get an investigator to go collect it and send it out for typing. She needs to do that not just for any criminal case but because the abuse is going to factor in to custody of that child, and her husband is going to say she is the abuser.

Finally, consider having your husband ask that a battery charge be filed against the husband. I know that will be awkward at work but this woman may need the support that he was the batterer. Your H could also get a protective order but that would mess with your friend's income source.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 10:07:12 GMT -5 elle said:

Percocet doesn't make someone into an abuser. It may make them short tempered, but the physical abuse. . . That's actually his true personality. I would be shocked if he had never done this before.

She should push the cops to DNA the blood, or at least type it (if she and her husband have different blood types). Her husband will say it is his blood if they don't take a DNA test. The police won't want to for a DV case but she should lawyer up and insist. If finances are tight she should call legal aid. And if the police won't collect the blood, her lawyer should get an investigator to go collect it and send it out for typing. She needs to do that not just for any criminal case but because the abuse is going to factor in to custody of that child, and her husband is going to say she is the abuser.

Finally, consider having your husband ask that a battery charge be filed against the husband. I know that will be awkward at work but this woman may need the support that he was the batterer. Your H could also get a protective order but that would mess with your friend's income source.

The blood was his. She punched him when he was shoving her out of the front door. She broke his nose, apparently. He then went to the bathroom and splattered blood everywhere- the ceiling, floor, mirror. Even the cop said that it looked staged.

She knows she shouldn't have punched him, but she said enough was enough- he put his hands on her one too many times. He got simple battery. She got battery because he was bleeding.

My H won't press charges. If he did, it could cause job conflict because they work at the same site but with different crews. It's the union mentality- if you "screw" one of your brothers over, they'll do everything they can to get you put on the next lay off.

[flex]

Dec 18, 2013 13:16:41 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

Dec 18, 2013 10:07:12 GMT -5 elle said:

Percocet doesn't make someone into an abuser. It may make them short tempered, but the physical abuse. . . That's actually his true personality. I would be shocked if he had never done this before.

She should push the cops to DNA the blood, or at least type it (if she and her husband have different blood types). Her husband will say it is his blood if they don't take a DNA test. The police won't want to for a DV case but she should lawyer up and insist. If finances are tight she should call legal aid. And if the police won't collect the blood, her lawyer should get an investigator to go collect it and send it out for typing. She needs to do that not just for any criminal case but because the abuse is going to factor in to custody of that child, and her husband is going to say she is the abuser.

Finally, consider having your husband ask that a battery charge be filed against the husband. I know that will be awkward at work but this woman may need the support that he was the batterer. Your H could also get a protective order but that would mess with your friend's income source.

The blood was his. She punched him when he was shoving her out of the front door. She broke his nose, apparently. He then went to the bathroom and splattered blood everywhere- the ceiling, floor, mirror. Even the cop said that it looked staged.

She knows she shouldn't have punched him, but she said enough was enough- he put his hands on her one too many times. He got simple battery. She got battery because he was bleeding.

My H won't press charges. If he did, it could cause job conflict because they work at the same site but with different crews. It's the union mentality- if you "screw" one of your brothers over, they'll do everything they can to get you put on the next lay off.

Actually I think your DH should talk to his union rep or even go a bit further up the chain.  I believe this is a union matter and I would want the people I represent to come to me about something like this.  A union brother or sister assaulting another union member is not something that should be taken lightly by the Local.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 13:21:46 GMT -5 flex said:

Dec 18, 2013 13:16:41 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

The blood was his. She punched him when he was shoving her out of the front door. She broke his nose, apparently. He then went to the bathroom and splattered blood everywhere- the ceiling, floor, mirror. Even the cop said that it looked staged.

She knows she shouldn't have punched him, but she said enough was enough- he put his hands on her one too many times. He got simple battery. She got battery because he was bleeding.

My H won't press charges. If he did, it could cause job conflict because they work at the same site but with different crews. It's the union mentality- if you "screw" one of your brothers over, they'll do everything they can to get you put on the next lay off.

Actually I think your DH should talk to his union rep or even go a bit further up the chain.  I believe this is a union matter and I would want the people I represent to come to me about something like this.  A union brother or sister assaulting another union member is not something that should be taken lightly by the Local.

I will talk to him tonight. I'm glad he kept his cool, because if they weren't just there to get the baby, he would have probably killed him.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 13:16:41 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

Dec 18, 2013 10:07:12 GMT -5 elle said:

Percocet doesn't make someone into an abuser. It may make them short tempered, but the physical abuse. . . That's actually his true personality. I would be shocked if he had never done this before.

She should push the cops to DNA the blood, or at least type it (if she and her husband have different blood types). Her husband will say it is his blood if they don't take a DNA test. The police won't want to for a DV case but she should lawyer up and insist. If finances are tight she should call legal aid. And if the police won't collect the blood, her lawyer should get an investigator to go collect it and send it out for typing. She needs to do that not just for any criminal case but because the abuse is going to factor in to custody of that child, and her husband is going to say she is the abuser.

Finally, consider having your husband ask that a battery charge be filed against the husband. I know that will be awkward at work but this woman may need the support that he was the batterer. Your H could also get a protective order but that would mess with your friend's income source.

The blood was his. She punched him when he was shoving her out of the front door. She broke his nose, apparently. He then went to the bathroom and splattered blood everywhere- the ceiling, floor, mirror. Even the cop said that it looked staged.

She knows she shouldn't have punched him, but she said enough was enough- he put his hands on her one too many times. He got simple battery. She got battery because he was bleeding.

My H won't press charges. If he did, it could cause job conflict because they work at the same site but with different crews. It's the union mentality- if you "screw" one of your brothers over, they'll do everything they can to get you put on the next lay off.

Does she have bruises? She needs to document her injuries.. Odds are neither will get prosecuted but since he called the police she should be concerned he is going to frame this as all being her fault. I cannot stress enough
the need for her to get a lawyer right now. Probably a divorce lawyer who can refer a defense lawyer.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2013 13:29:07 GMT -5 elle said:

Dec 18, 2013 13:16:41 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

The blood was his. She punched him when he was shoving her out of the front door. She broke his nose, apparently. He then went to the bathroom and splattered blood everywhere- the ceiling, floor, mirror. Even the cop said that it looked staged.

She knows she shouldn't have punched him, but she said enough was enough- he put his hands on her one too many times. He got simple battery. She got battery because he was bleeding.

My H won't press charges. If he did, it could cause job conflict because they work at the same site but with different crews. It's the union mentality- if you "screw" one of your brothers over, they'll do everything they can to get you put on the next lay off.

Does she have bruises? She needs to document her injuries.. Odds are neither will get prosecuted but since he called the police she should be concerned he is going to frame this as all being her fault. I cannot stress enough
the need for her to get a lawyer right now. Probably a divorce lawyer who can refer a defense lawyer.

Yes, she had a few bruises and scratches. The cop room pictures, but I did too. She's going today to file before he does.

The cop said something interesting last night about custody. In GA, if you have a baby out of wedlock (they did) and the father doesn't go through the legal process of legitimization, he has no custodial rights to the child. Only financial responsibility. When he asked her last night if they were married when the baby was born, and she said no, he said, "Case closed. He doesn't have a shot in the dark of custody." Does this sound right?

ETA: not asking for legal advice. Just if this is true in some (all?) states.

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

www.georgialegalaid.org/files/6FCBD72D-B465-109D-9EC1-5A4F52A74EE9/attachments/A90A1C4F-A820-5A24-567C-618EFC34C418/92041GLSP%20Child%20Custody%20in%20GA%20-%2007-07.pdf

Check "unmarried parents" as well as "family violence."

[sugarbear]

Wow. That poor woman. Ditto what everyone else said about the cop, and I'm glad you're going to report him.