Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on May 14, 2012 11:48:23 GMT -5
Please tell me someone else wants to talk about it. I know we've probably been down this road, but I spend my weekend reading the first two books and I am conviced that the writer is actually a teenaged virgin who has no idea where her vagina is. And she's masquerading as a 50-something mom of two. Because there is no WAY someone who is at all familiar with the mechanics of sex really wrote this crap.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by basilosaurus on May 14, 2012 11:59:00 GMT -5
That description almost makes me want to read it. Is it so bad it's good? Would it make for a good book club book? Or would the fact that my friends thought it was a good example of erotica make me die on the inside?
Please tell me someone else wants to talk about it. I know we've probably been down this road, but I spend my weekend reading the first two books and I am conviced that the writer is actually a teenaged virgin who has no idea where her vagina is. And she's masquerading as a 50-something mom of two. Because there is no WAY someone who is at all familiar with the mechanics of sex really wrote this crap.
This did more to make me want to read it than all of the hype it's been getting.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on May 14, 2012 12:11:28 GMT -5
Haha. It truly is crap. But it's so fast. And, not unlike my fascination with Glee, sometimes things are so terrible that I truly cannot quit them. Spoiler: this woman has more than one orgasm through her nipples alone. Her nipples! Is that even a thing?
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Haha. It truly is crap. But it's so fast. And, not unlike my fascination with Glee, sometimes things are so terrible that I truly cannot quit them. Spoiler: this woman has more than one orgasm through her nipples alone. Her nipples! Is that even a thing?
Maybe. One of the most amazing orgasms I ever had involved almost no erogenous touch. I'm still not entirely sure how it happened. But it wasn't fast
Haha. It truly is crap. But it's so fast. And, not unlike my fascination with Glee, sometimes things are so terrible that I truly cannot quit them. Spoiler: this woman has more than one orgasm through her nipples alone. Her nipples! Is that even a thing?
Maybe. One of the most amazing orgasms I ever had involved almost no erogenous touch. I'm still not entirely sure how it happened. But it wasn't fast
You should write a book about that. I would read it. I might even pay for it!
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by jessiespano on May 14, 2012 12:31:51 GMT -5
I found the pdf of it and downloaded the first one. I stopped reading after she declared the guy was "so seductive" after he told her he wanted her. I started laughing and decided I wasn't wasting my time on it anymore.
I managed to read a page of it because a lady I was standing next to in the subway was reading it. I thought it was stupid and I had no desire to read the next page once the lady turned the page.
It's horrible. And I love trashy smut books. I read the first one when it was Twilight fanfic, and then quit reading it. It sucked that bad.
It's just horribly written and has a stupid plot. I consider myself a connoisseur of the written lady book porn, and this is just not even worth it! I love things that are so bad, they are good. This is just straight up bad.
Post by jupiter2328 on May 14, 2012 13:46:56 GMT -5
I couldn't get through it. I made it to around page 100 of the first book, and I just couldn't take anymore. I'm really glad I didn't pay for it. Someone had forwarded the PDF of all three books to me. It was terrible.
I fully confess to reading the first one, and at times, not being able to put it down. Not because it was so amazing, but because I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm reading this. I can't believe I'm reading this." For me, the first one was like a trainwreck--so bad, I couldn't turn away.
But I'm a little bit into book two and I am bored, bored, bored. I feel like all these two do is have sex. And while there's nothing wrong with that, an iota of a plot would help. Complete sentences would be good too.
(And ditto MW about the tampon scene. I really wish I could scrub that from my memory. It was awful.)
No, please tell me! Come on...I wanna be all ewwww and and .
ok, you asked.
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
Bella is on her period while waiting to take some BCP that 50 puts her on. However, he really wants to fuck, so he bends her over the bathroom sink and pulls out her tampon and flings it into the trash or toilet. I mean, just a step above taking it out with his teeth. I think they then fuck in the bath or shower or something.
Bella is on her period while waiting to take some BCP that 50 puts her on. However, he really wants to fuck, so he bends her over the bathroom sink and pulls out her tampon and flings it into the trash or toilet. I mean, just a step above taking it out with his teeth. I think they then fuck in the bath or shower or something.
And then they soak in a nice bath of AF.
Ok, I am really, really, really glad I stopped reading.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on May 14, 2012 14:40:33 GMT -5
The only connection to the characters I can see at this point is that Christian is a stalkery stalkerson to the point of tracking whatserface's cell phone and bank info. And we are supposed to believe it's romantical and OMG he's sooooo damaged but her love will totes save him. In reality he is a control freak and a nutcase. And there is very little actual BDSM in a book that's supposed to be a BDSM relationship. And why is she always surprised every time they fuck? Like, you've already boned 7 times today. Are you literally that surprised? Also, what couple has sex that often? I have never met a guy in my life that could go over and over and over again. Even in my 20s. And no woman has that many orgasms from vaginal sex. LIE.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Bella is on her period while waiting to take some BCP that 50 puts her on. However, he really wants to fuck, so he bends her over the bathroom sink and pulls out her tampon and flings it into the trash or toilet. I mean, just a step above taking it out with his teeth. I think they then fuck in the bath or shower or something.
I'm confused. I thought her name is Anastasia. I didn't read the books, but I read the 50 Shades of Suck blog and gathered her name is Anastasia. Is that not the case?
I feel like I have already read it given the amount of discussion it gets on the interwebs. Are they seriously making a movie out of it, because I heard that too.
I'm confused. I thought her name is Anastasia. I didn't read the books, but I read the 50 Shades of Suck blog and gathered her name is Anastasia. Is that not the case?
it was a twilight fan fic piece and that's when i read it. so she was Bella and he was Edward and when they published the book, they did and find and replace to change the names. I didn't read it after the conversion, so I don't know what the new names are.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on May 14, 2012 15:07:00 GMT -5
Her name is Anastasia in the book but she's based on Bella from Twilight. Also, I cannot count how many times I've read the same stupid dcomment on how "beautiful" old dude is.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
NO! Spoiler thread, please. Label it clearly and I will gladly take the blame for any pissed off folks who can't read the title, wander in, and have these shit books ruined for them.