to those of you who have experienced a miscarriage

[tktravels]

Hi everyone.

I was so excited for my first U/S today.. until the doctor had trouble finding the fetus. I have a beautiful yolk sac, and the amniotic sac is developed as it should be given my LMP.. but there is no fetus. And so it goes..

I had no signs or symptoms of miscarriage that I knew of.. no spotting, no cramping. Although as I type this, I'm experiencing mild cramps. Can a transvaginal U/S cause cramps?

I'm posting to get feedback from those of you who have experienced a loss on how you physically dealt with the loss.

I'm upset, but I've experienced a lot of loss and disappointment in my life, so I'm rather adept at dealing with things emotionally.

Physically though, I have no idea.

After performing an abd U/S and finding only a pregnant-lookng uterus, yolk sac & placenta, we moved on to a transvag and could see rather clearly that there is no fetus. The doc performing the U/S (not my usual doc; I'll see her tomorrow) recommended that I go straight from his office to the hospital where I would stay for at least 24 hours (possibly longer) and receive vaginal suppositories every few hours, and then go under general anesthesia and have the curretage procedure. He stressed that this is not a D&C.

When questioned as to why we should go ASAP (and not come home first, maybe call our US insurance company, etc.) he said it'd be best for my peace of mind. To be clear, my physical health is not in danger; this is not a medical emergency.

I've had friends in the US have miscarriages, and they were given the choice of taking some time to allow their body to try to handle it itself, take pills and then go home to allow the body to pass the remnants, or schedule a D&C. I stated this to the doc, and he restated his belief that I should go to the hospital right away for the suppositories followed by a short surgical procedure.

Needless to say, I didn't go straight to the hospital, and I'm not super keen on rushing into general anesthetic & surgery.

After your loss, how did things play out pysically? Were you given options in your treatment?

Thanks in advance!

[allibally]

I'm sorry for your loss. I just wanted to come in and express that since I can't help on the medical side. I will be thinking about you today and giving vibes for strength. *hugs*

[doctoranda]

I am so sorry! Also coming in to support but also no help on the medical part. Sending you T&Ps.

[Wanderista]

Really sorry about this, that's all I can say on the subject.

[pittpurple]

I am so very, very sorry.
I had a slightly different situation - felt super pregnant up until 10 weeks when I woke up feeling totally fine. I went in for a scan and they found out the baby had died at 7 weeks. The place I went was absolutely amazing and yes, they gave me options. Basically, I could wait it out and see what my body did, go into the office for the drugs and go through everything at home, or have a D&E (apparently it's different than a D&C although I'm not sure how).

Your doctor should never, ever pressure you into doing something you aren't comfortable with or rushing you if there's no medical reason to force anything.

For me, my body hadn't clued in for the last three weeks so I didn't want to wait another several weeks. I had a previously booked trip to India in a couple week's time and I really needed everything to be over, for my own well-being. I had the D&C a few day's later and actually felt much better afterwards (I had started cramping over the weekend). Unfortunately, they messed up while moving me and injured my hip, but I had very few physical side effects from the D&E, I hardly even bled at all.

I very much suggest checking out the miscarriage board on the Bump. It was really helpful to me when this was happening - I felt really alone and it was reassuring to know other people had this happen. I know a few other people on this board had a miscarriage as well and I'm sure they will respond when they see this. It was also helpful just to read about other people's experiences. Obviously everyone is different, but it did help to get a bit of an overview.

Oh - I did have to show up at the hospital first thing in the morning for the suppositories, then I had the surgery a few hours later. After waking up, they wanted me to have something to eat and drink before I went home but I was home by 3pm or so - so at the hospital for about 8 hours? I'm sure every country is different, but that does seem like a really long time to be at the hospital. It was much easier for me to deal at home to be honest - I ate a pile of chocolate and drank all the wine I hadn't been drinking (not that I really recommend this route). I wasn't in any pain or anything.

Please let me know if you have any other questions, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

[pittpurple]

Sorry - I had the D&E... honestly, I kept calling it a D&C because that's the phrase I was used to, I'm really not sure if there's a huge difference.

[tktravels]

Thank you all for your kind words! And pittpurple, thanks for sharing your experience! Also a D&E is those in 2nd trimester, and a D&C is for first. I don't know if the procedure differs at all, or if it's just a terminology thing.

Anyway, thanks again. I really do appreciate the supportive comments!

ETA: I decided to consult the interwebs, and apparently the D&E uses suction whereas D&C uses a scraping technique.

[crimsonandclover]

I'm so sorry!

First off, how far along are you? I know with my doctor, after just 1 ultrasound of only seeing the gestational sac, he was not ready to say the pregnancy was ending yet. He gave it another 1.5 weeks, did another ultrasound, and still only saw the sac (that was at 7 weeks). I was flying to the US the next day, so it was a wait-and-see kind of situation.

I'm actually really glad it ended up happening in the US, because my OB in Germany told me that D&Cs are routine after a miscarriage in Germany to make sure you didn't retain any tissue. In the US, my OB first lets you try naturally if you want, and then monitors your hcg levels (if they plateau or go up, that means you have retained tissue and need Cytotec - probably the vaginal suppositories he's talking about - or a D&C). I miscarried naturally and felt "good" about, as those things go.

Honestly, unless you are 100% sure of your dates and are past about 7 weeks, I would wait and ask for a follow-up ultrasound in a week just to make sure.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope that your physical recovery goes fast.

[clogged]

I am unclear how your procedure is NOT a d&c. They are going to dilate & cutterage. Um, that's what d&c stands for.

But as to your question- a miscarriage equates to a birth. You will have cramping as the cervix dilates, the fetal/placenta matter passes, and the cervix closes. There will be blood involved- considering how far along you are it will most likely be similiar to a really heavy period. A d&c does remove the bulk of the pain because most is done under anesthesia (local and/or full), and because they "clean" they uterus there is less blood. There are risks, just like any other medical procedure. If you go the natural route, you may still have to have a d&c to make sure all tissue has passed. Something to consider.

In your shoes, I would ask for a thorough walk through of the procedure including drug names. The suppository they use to dilate may have some SERIOUS side effects- it is in your best interest to read up on it and make an informed decision. You have choices in how the perform the procedure, but they will default to the easiest for them not necessarily the best match for you. You may also find that after you get the info, you are more inclined to go with the procedure because it truly is best for you. Knowledge is power!

As for my experience... I have had 1 natural, 2 D&E's, and one induced birth (required by dutch law). I miscarry in the second/third trimester so D&C's are not an option for me. I emotionally recovered from my natural experinces far better than the D&E's. The physical bounce-back was better- I went right back to my regular cycles. But the D&E's were quicker and painless. To me, one wasn't better than the other. It was just which type of recovery was best for me at the time.

It's up to you what you want to do and there is no right answer. I think most doctors prefer the surgery route because it's over and done johnny-on-the-spot, painless, and most women need to get back to work. Natural miscarriages can drag out for days and even weeks.

I am so sorry for your loss. {{ hugs }} Just keep in mind you aren't alone in this and there are always a hefty number of shoulders to cry on, if you need it.

[dulcemariamar]

I am so sorry for your loss. ((((Hugs))) T&Ps for you and your DH:

[mrsukyankee]

I had an early miscarriage and went with natural, which felt like a heavy period after a while. I also had a D&C at 10 weeks and it was fine, but felt impersonal in a way. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this...it sucks beyond belief.

[potatopie]

I can't speak to the experience. But I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss and that I'm glad you didn't let the doctor pressure you into doing something you didn't want to do. Especially since it wasn't your regular doc. If it's not a medical emergency, it's much better to take your time and come to terms with this in your own, most comfortable way.

((hugs))

[glitterfart]

I´m so sorry. I had a d&e (they dialate you using a series of small rods which get bigger in diameter) and then suction the tissue away. I was about 11 weeks and there was no fetus, only an overly large yolk sac. The missed miscarriage was suspected at 8w5d, but they gave me another 10 days to come back and double check in case my dates were wrong. Long story short, I was at the hospital making the appt. for the d&e which they like to do to make sure your body does not retain any tissue and to prevent haemorrhaging, when I started haemorrhaging. I had an emergency d&e done to stop the bleeding (I was soaking a big maternity pad every 5 minutes) and contracting every couple of minutes. I was in terrible pain, but was not given anything for it besides buscopan because I was going to be put under soon, but the doctor assured me I was indeed going through early labor and that´s just what early labor feels like...But because I had just eaten something before I came in, I had to wait a few hours before they could put me under. Before I went in I managed to go through two packages of the maternity pads and turn my private bathroom into what looked like a slaughter house. Because my cervix was already dialated, there was no need for the suppository thing.

But in my case I would gladly have gone in and had the d&e before it started to happen on its own having experienced it. But every person is different, so what´s right for one, might not be the right decision for another. And there are risks to the d&e such as Asherman´s Syndrome, perforation, etc. You have every right to sleep on it, think about it for a few days before deciding what you want to do. Take the time you need to process it and decide what´s right for you. Big hugs.

[popcorn]

Are they completely certain that you are as far along as based on your LMP? For my first ultrasound with this baby I should've been 7 weeks based on my LMP. There was only a sac and I went back in two weeks later and then there was a heartbeat and baby visible. I had ovulated later than estimated. Are they certain that this is not a possibility? I don't want to give you false hope, but also can't refrain from asking if they discussed this as a possibility.

If it is clear that things are ending I am so sorry. Definitely ask for all your options and get a clear understanding before making any decisions. My thoughts are with you.

[spitforspat]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

[jrabbit]

Sorry, I know it stinks. I've had 5 of them. That is the downside of finding out your preggers early. Before 11 weeks they are "foreced abortions" and in the old days women didn't know they were even preggers.
I've gone to 9 weeks a few times, 11 weeks once, and I have one son. I've had 2 DNC's and the rest my body took care of.

Sorry, but your hurt will pass and it will happen again for you

[Deleted]

I'm so so sorry tk, you're in my heart and thoughts! As are all the other ladies that went through this, I'm really sorry you had to experience it.

[tricolore]

I'm very sorry for your loss and wish you well physically and emotionally.

Personally, I had spotting very early on... doctors weren't sure what was going on, so monitored my hormone levels for about two weeks. Midway through I had very heavy discharge (like nothing before) and so I thought I "naturally" m/c'd. Wrong. Went in and my hormone levels were way up. Dr realized it was ectopic and gave me the choice of there and then tubal removal or cell-inhibiting injection.
Needless to say, really unpleasant on a lot of levels. Went with the injection.
Physically, not painful at all (I mean within reason, these are big @ss shots, not like regular needles). Continued to bleed/spot for multiple months. That sucked. But overall, I'm glad I avoided surgery.

Good luck and healing thoughts your way.