Please tell me how to put my baby to bed. I feel so defeated. Since she was born, most success with her sleeping on her own (in her own room) was swaddled in the RNP. She's outgrown the swaddle and we've ditched it. This was the right decision; re-swaddling her won't help. I'm sure of it.
(1) I got a Merlin Sleep Suit and first tried putting her in that, and into the crib on her back. She slept 15 min. Repeated a few more times that night. 15 min. I decided it was too much change. So we did ….
option (2) sleep suit in the RNP. Not awful, but still bad. Wakes every 15 min from when we put her down until about 2 or 3 hrs later when she's just so tired she gives up. So last night I tried ….
option (3) in a sleep sack, in her crib, on her tummy. She stayed down for 30 min at first and was up wailing every 15 min. for several hours until she passed out for 90 minutes. Then I brought her into bed with me.
I quite literally do NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT HER TO BED. I tried an earlier bedtime, it doesn't seem to matter. What do I do?! I know I'm confusing her now bc its been different so much this week with the swaddle gone, suit, no suit on her tummy, RNP, crib. What do I do? Someone please just tell me.
bunch @carmensandiego am I remembering correctly that you guys had similar problems? She's 16w now.
ETA - she weighs 13 lbs if that matters at all. DH is going in when she keeps waking. We can get her back to sleep. But it lasts only a few minutes.
4 month wakeful? I think they just outgrow it, but it sucks. They're just more aware and realize they could be interacting instead of sleeping.
ETA - I swaddled for at least 7 months and even tried for longer. Have you tried the miracle blanket?
Maybe. I just have this feeling that I'm doing it wrong so if I change it will be fixed. You know? Lol. Even I know that's crap.
She hates the swaddle. Yes we tried the miracle blanket. If I swaddle her, she wakes in the night because she's swaddled and she wants her arms above her head. If i get to her fast enough and unswaddle, she keeps sleeping. So that's a no-go.
every baby is so different. My first was a terrible back sleeper and pacifier sucker.... my second was an awesome sleeper on her tummy at 10 weeks and a thumb sucker!
Have you tried only swaddling the arms at the face vs by their side and not feet for a few days to help with the transition?
I started sleep training the night she turned 4 mos. I ditched the sleep suit and the paci. I put her on her belly and then I did standard Ferber checks. The worst was over the first night and she's been a decent sleeper since. I really dont think that it have worked any other way for us. She had to learn how to sleep.
every baby is so different. My first was a terrible back sleeper and pacifier sucker.... my second was an awesome sleeper on her tummy at 10 weeks and a thumb sucker!
Have you tried only swaddling the arms at the face vs by their side and not feet for a few days to help with the transition?
The last week before we ditched the swaddle was with one arm out, so I thought we'd be ok in that respect.
If you're losing your mind anyway and nursing to sleep doesn't seem to be working, I'll say try to move the bedtime nurse to before jammies/diaper change and get her to sleep another way, ideally in her sleeping spot (even if it involves some patting and shushing or whatever).
DD slept best in her vibrating seat through to 5 months. The vibration was key - if the batteries died, she woke up.
I coslept with DS because nothing worked. It was better, but still pretty bad.
Post by gibbinator on Jan 31, 2014 18:36:43 GMT -5
Are you nursing? Because honestly nursing to sleep was the only thing that got ds to conk out for any length of time. Then when I put him in the crib I left my hand on his tummy for 10 mins because he always woke up after 10 mins and if my reassuring hand wasn't there it was the end of the world. When he knew I was still there he'd go right back to sleep and stay down for 3-4 hours.
Post by littlemisschatty on Jan 31, 2014 20:49:46 GMT -5
I sympathize with you - that really sucks when your life revolves around sleep but you AREN'T GETTING ANY!
Advice that hasn't been given already... - use a sound machine - be consistent with a bedtime "routine"...pj's, a song, a bath, dim the lights, bring the baby up at the same time every night, etc.
Or if it's the 4mw, you just need to ride it out and survive. It will end, I swear. I hope you find a solution. And don't be afraid to CIO a little. Talk to your pedi if you are really struggling. Good luck xo
Post by marshmallowhands on Jan 31, 2014 21:27:48 GMT -5
DD2 was (is?) a horrible sleeper. We kept her in her swing until 5 months. Have yiu tried that? But even that didn't work during the 4mw. The 4mw was awful- we cosleeper during it to get even just a little sleep. I'm talking maybe an hour or two a night.
Post by Mrs.Syntax on Jan 31, 2014 21:39:09 GMT -5
I was in your situation and nothing really helped except the passing of time I know you've posted before and I'm so sorry you're going through this. It WILL end. My DD got much better about going to, and staying, asleep around 6-7 months (It seems like an eternity, I know).
Post by speckledfrog on Jan 31, 2014 22:55:49 GMT -5
I know you don't want to hear it, but reswaddling was the ticket for us. I ditched it right around 4 months and we had a terrible 4 month wakeful...until I started reswaddling.
Can you swaddle with one arm out one arm in to transition for a bit longer? Is it a sleep sack or an actual swaddle i.e. swaddle me? I think that matters, because their legs are free and can move around in the sack and not in the swaddle. We had to keep DD's "favorite" arm free at night for like 3-4 weeks before we could actually let both arms be free. She wanted them both free, but they would still startle her. One arm out seemed to please her at least, because her legs could move in the sack as well.
We ditched swaddling any arms for good on the night we began STing, and we also moved bedtime up the same night. This was only about a week ago, but I am glad we did these things. Whatever you do, I think being consistent is key, and I feel that it takes a few days to see what is or isn't working.
Her weight only matters if you are concerned about her waking to eat more then you think she should. My DD is 12.5lbs, and was waking x2 a night consistently and seemed hungry. I'd feed her, but it never calmed her enough to keep her sleepy. So I would nurse again within an hour…it was absurd. Now that we've made the above adjustments, she can go 9 hours without needing food. Literally the second night she went that long and it's been more or less good since then. She was trying to nurse for comfort at all hours and that just wasn't going to work for me. A switch flipped on that particular issue.
Do you have a bedtime routine that she can expect? Would you be open to some kind of sleep training after she hits 4 months old? This could just be the 4mw in which case, may it be brief for you, and I'm so sorry. It's the worst.
In the meantime: White noise (all night), nurse her down and keep her warm (at least I found keeping DD cozy helped her sleep longer) and by all means, bring her to bed with you for the night if all else fails. My baby sleeps in her crib exclusively, and has since like 2 weeks old, but during the 4mw, she ended up with us maaannnny times because nothing else was helping her, and I was going to lose my shit.
DD2 was (is?) a horrible sleeper. We kept her in her swing until 5 months. Have yiu tried that? But even that didn't work during the 4mw. The 4mw was awful- we cosleeper during it to get even just a little sleep. I'm talking maybe an hour or two a night.
I'm just reading the troublesome tots sleep guide and she fits their description of "motion junkie", so maybe I do need to try the swing. It's in the kitchen now and she's only ever in it while awake.
Can you swaddle with one arm out one arm in to transition for a bit longer? Is it a sleep sack or an actual swaddle i.e. swaddle me? I think that matters, because their legs are free and can move around in the sack and not in the swaddle. We had to keep DD's "favorite" arm free at night for like 3-4 weeks before we could actually let both arms be free. She wanted them both free, but they would still startle her. One arm out seemed to please her at least, because her legs could move in the sack as well.
It was a swaddle halo sack. Is that better or worse? That's all we used when she was a NB. She hated the MB and woombie.
Are you willing to put her on her tummy? Let her CIO for a few minutes?
I'm sorry- I don't have a lot of advice because we are also having problems. I don't know if what I'm doing is helping either.
We have done tummy sleep (she rolls now so I'm fine with it). It buys us 1+ hr naps in the crib if I time it right. We've tried it for night sleep twice and she doesn't seem to like it.
Grandparents arrive later today and I can't do CIO while they are here. My mom would make me second guess myself way too much. So after they leave I might try intervals. She will be older then anyways, perhaps it will be a new ball game.
We have always had a bedtime routine. Bath, pjs, swaddle, nurse to sleep when he was tiny. He slept in his crib at 1 month. We have and still use a sound machine and use black out curtains. Once Ds fell asleep nursig (or with a binky) I would wait another 15 mind before putting him to bed to make sure he was asleep. I read early on that it takes babies a long time to get to the deep sleep state. Like 15-30 mins. I always knew when we hit it because he would spit out the boob/pacifier.
On another note, have you tried swaddling with arms out? Also anytime we changed anything, swing to crib, swaddle to sleep suit, etc. it took a good week to adjust. Also the 4 month wakeful is the suck. I really don't have too much other advice. We didn't get Ds to sleep through the night at all until we sleep trained at about 8 months.
If your kid is a motion junkie he might like something with movement by his crib. We have a sound machine that projects pictures on the ceiling and my kid loved that. I'd put her in her crib, turn it on and leave. She loved it and would put herself to sleep.
She couldn't stand the white noise part of it though, so I left it off.
Have you tried putting her to bed in nothing but a sleeper? My kid was always so hot that she wouldn't sleep in a swaddle, sleepsack, overly thick pjs etc. Everyone used to yell at me "Bundle that kid up." But it worked really well for us.
Any attempt to put her down sleepy but awake? Nursing her to a certain point and putting her down.
We give dd2 (17wks) her last feed (bottle) in her darkened bedroom, wind her and then down in her bassinet. She's awake going down, doesn't really cry (only cries if there's a burp) and gives a minimum 6hr stretch. Sleeps in sleep sack with a thin sheet over her to have her tucked in. She does STTN from time to time but has a blocked nose at the moment.
Can you swaddle with one arm out one arm in to transition for a bit longer? Is it a sleep sack or an actual swaddle i.e. swaddle me? I think that matters, because their legs are free and can move around in the sack and not in the swaddle. We had to keep DD's "favorite" arm free at night for like 3-4 weeks before we could actually let both arms be free. She wanted them both free, but they would still startle her. One arm out seemed to please her at least, because her legs could move in the sack as well.
It was a swaddle halo sack. Is that better or worse? That's all we used when she was a NB. She hated the MB and woombie.
I'll buy a swaddle me if that's what it takes.
Ah no. The swaddle mes are more restrictive, not less, and if she's rolling never mind. I thought you could use a halo sleep sack but you already are! Gah….!
I think CIO may be the best option. We did it later - but only because until 5 1/2 mos we could reliably get him to sleep by rocking. But then he either wanted to play while rocking or would fall asleep and wake up as soon as we put him down. It took 1 night and then he slept for a few nights and then 1 more rough night and then he's been good since then (a few weeks).
DS was like this. I went back to work when he was 10 weeks old, and by the time he was 4 months, DH and I were so sleep deprived we could barely function, and DS was miserable most of the time. We sleep trained right at 4 months (keeping 2 dreamfeeds until he was over 6 months) using the SleepEasy Solution (modified CIO). It was one of the hardest parenting things we have ever done, but also on e of the best. Within 4 nights, he was fussing for less than 5 min and sleeping 12+ hours with the dreamfeeds. His personality completely changed- he became the happiest baby ever once he was getting enough sleep.
It's not for everyone, but it worked wonders for us.
Post by dutchgirl678 on Feb 1, 2014 19:51:36 GMT -5
CIO is not recommended until they are 6 months old. We have had our bouts of bad sleep from both kiddos, they got into a routine eventually. When they were around 7 months old they would roll over onto their bellies on their own. At that point we decided it was safe to let them sleep on their bellies and that coincided with them sleeping through the night.
This sounds like the 4 month wakeful where they are learning so many new things that their brains are trying to process it all and leads to very restless sleep.