Post by twodogsandababy on Feb 27, 2014 12:11:46 GMT -5
These are all really awesome, and just what I needed lately.
Mine have already been shared for the most part, you are the only one that can make you happy, and the cliche everything happens for a reason (I know some people hate this, but it helps me see the bright side when things aren't working out like I had hoped.)
Also, my old co-worker used to tell us "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit."
Another one I try to remember is: if someone is short with you or curt or hurts you in some way, ask yourself, "where is this coming from?" Chances are, it's not you; it is something else they are dealing with and it is being heaped on you.
Along those lines, try not to take everything personally. I struggle with that one, a lot.
Treat others with kindness and respect - even if you feel they don't deserve it. Always spend less than you make, always save something from every paycheck and pay off your credit cards monthly How you spend your money tells people what is important to you. Do what is right, even when it is hard. Feelings pass - When unsure about a choice - use the pro/con list Do the hard stuff first. Set goals, make a plan and then Do it! Don't expect others to give you what you want, make your way easy or provide for you. You have everything you need already Remember life is not all about you You have a responsibility to others
You once said something to the effect of "you don't have to like it. You just have to do it."
That stuck with me when I'm moping about doing boring tasks.
Treat others with kindness and respect - even if you feel they don't deserve it. Always spend less than you make, always save something from every paycheck and pay off your credit cards monthly How you spend your money tells people what is important to you. Do what is right, even when it is hard. Feelings pass - When unsure about a choice - use the pro/con list Do the hard stuff first. Set goals, make a plan and then Do it! Don't expect others to give you what you want, make your way easy or provide for you. You have everything you need already Remember life is not all about you You have a responsibility to others
You once said something to the effect of "you don't have to like it. You just have to do it."
That stuck with me when I'm moping about doing boring tasks.
Glad those words were helpful to you. They were ingrained in me by my mother and they got me thru many difficulties in my life. What you do as well as what you don't do makes a difference.
My advice would be to a struggling teenager. Just get through these years and life will get better. I struggled with depression and EDs and considered suicide on several occasions. Looking back now, I wish so badly I had someone slightly older as a guide and mentor. Once I got to college, life got so much better and adulthood has been incredible.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Feb 27, 2014 15:03:00 GMT -5
Since people are doing professional ones, this is one I think of a lot, from a television show. Someone asks the (journalist) main character, "How do you know what questions to ask?" and his reply is, "Because I'm not afraid of the answers." I feel like in my job a lot of what I have to do involves asking difficult questions and confronting issues that people would rather not think and talk about (suicidal ideation, child abuse, substance use, if their child has an intellectual disability), and a large part of my role is giving my students experience in seeing me do that, so that they know that they can handle whatever the answer might be and won't be so afraid to ask. You wouldn't appreciate an oncologist who hems and haws around the fact that you have cancer.
My mom was always shushing me as a kid and telling me not to talk so loud or raise my voice (especially in public), and my dad would oftentimes roll his eyes or make a "hurry up" motion with his hands if I was telling a story that dragged on too long. Or they'd just plain tell me to be quiet because people didn't necessarily want to hear what I have to say.
On the one hand, it was really humiliating at times, and it led to a lot of self-esteem issues for me (and they wondered why I had a hard time standing up for myself!!!), and they definitely could've approached it in a different way.
But on the other hand, as I'm sitting here at work listening to people talking really loudly and pretentiously and I'm just getting super-annoyed, I can see their overall point. It's a lesson I want to teach to my own kids someday, but with a lot more respect and far less non-constructive criticism ... something along the lines of, "Sometimes, if you don't have anything worthwhile to say, it's O.K. to be quiet." Or, "If what you have to say isn't worthwhile, then being loud or drawing attention to yourself isn't going to make it so. People will respect you for what you say, not necessarily how you say it or how much you say."
Adults did the same thing to me--and while embarrassing at times, I seem to have been impervious to their attempts. Maybe it just depends on the kid!
I don't know that it actually could have been trained out of me in any way. But I "lean-in" complete naturally. Like someone else said, our strengths and our weaknesses tend to be one in the same.
Never say "I can't do _____" because guess what, if you put the work and effort into it, you can.
Don't let work consume you, you need time for fun and experiences because you'll never look back and go "I'm glad I skipped that vacation so I could work"
step outside your comfort zone
look for the good in people, even the ones you really don't like