what does this mean? kids and wedding

[hannamarin]

this is the email sent to us.

"We will have two rooms for kids at the venue, where kids are welcome to stay throughout the event. The serving staff will have difficulty handling kids in the dining room during diner service (desert is a buffet so it's fine then).
We will get enough nannies for all the kids, but please be aware that right now we're expecting somewhere around 20 kids...so it won't exactly be the quietest environment!

-If you are interested in our improvised child care center, please let us know by responding to this email with the exact age of the child(ren), even if we've talked 1:1 before. The nanny service needs to know the ages to decide how many nannies we need (the number of kids per adult is regulated). Also, let us know if you would like us to arrange food for the kids or whether you would bring your own.

-Otherwise, you are of course free to book a nanny to your own hotel room. Our planner recommends the following service."

does this mean that kids are not really welcome at the wedding reception at all?
I feel odd about leaving my 9mth old with nannies. but I dont want to be that guest

[frlcb]

I definitely think kids are not welcome at the reception.

[housegeek]

Jul 13, 2012 18:34:54 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I definitely think kids are not welcome at the reception.

This.

[heythere]

Yeah, I would assume no kids invited to the reception.

[hannamarin]

so what do I do?
do I send my 9 mth old to the nanny room and put my big girl panties on and deal with it?
It is out of town so I have no babysitters and I wont leave the baby here.
I figure the baby will fall asleep by 8pm anyway. then I can probably just leave her with the nannies in her stroller while she sleeps.

[drloretta]

Yeah, I'd just suck it up. You can probably very easily check on her anytime you want.

[frlcb]

I don't think you have a choice, you either hire your own sitter from the service they recommended or use what they provided. I would probably choose my own sitter but that depends if you are wiling to spend the money on that. I know it is frustrating, but I don't get the whole no kids at a reception anyway.

[SusanBAnthony]

It sounds like kids are sort of welcome- like they can come in for dessert. But not dinner. If you think she will fall asleep, I would honestly assume it is ok to have the stroller parked near you with her zonked out in it. Maybe she can go to the kids room until bedtime, you or DH can stroll her around outside or in the hotel hallways until she sleeps, then park her either with you if your table location is out of the way, or with the nannies.

[hannamarin]

Jul 13, 2012 19:29:57 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

It sounds like kids are sort of welcome- like they can come in for dessert. But not dinner. If you think she will fall asleep, I would honestly assume it is ok to have the stroller parked near you with her zonked out in it. Maybe she can go to the kids room until bedtime, you or DH can stroll her around outside or in the hotel hallways until she sleeps, then park her either with you if your table location is out of the way, or with the nannies.

This is what I am thinking. And the good thing is that my nieces (5 and 8) are attending too. I know they will keep an eye out for Layla and get me if she is upset.

[livinitup]

This email wasn't written because of one or two 9 months olds. The bride is trying to orchestrate an adult reception meal without distruptions by 20 young children screaming/running. A happy nine month old isn't the problem she's trying to avoid.

With these options, I'd imagine that I would keep a sleeping baby with me and at my table, not distracting anyone. If the baby was awake during the reception, I'd expect to hang out with her in the nanny room. I wouldn't leave her if I didn't want to. If it was time to eat and she was fussy, I'd just juggle with DH to be at the table or in the nanny room. If it wasn't too weird, maybe I'd take my dinner plate into the nanny room. The actual dinner doesn't take that long, I can't imagine not being able to take turns with DH so we can both eat and one of us could be with her.

The nanny room might be great. But if you don't like them, go old school and leave early.

So, I'd just email the bride with the name/age of your baby, a yes on the nanny set-up, a thanks, and a 'no' on food (if I'm correct that you are bringing the 9 month old's food and/or your boob).

If you want to stick it to her - ask for separate refrigeration and warming for the baby's bottle!! Ha ha.

[Deleted]

I would not put a 9 month old in the room with 20 kids. So I'd either get my own nanny or decline the invitation. I told all of my friends who had infants that they could bring their kids.

[SusanBAnthony]

Jul 13, 2012 20:07:07 GMT -5 BirdGirl said:

I would not put a 9 month old in the room with 20 kids. So I'd either get my own nanny or decline the invitation. I told all of my friends who had infants that they could bring their kids.

Eh, depends on the set up. Could be fine. Problem is you may not know until you show up and see the chaos, and then it's too late! Especially with older cousins around, I would probably try it out, and have a back-up plan, which for me would be to skip out early and head back to the hotel.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Jul 13, 2012 19:44:46 GMT -5 livinitup said:

This email wasn't written because of one or two 9 months olds. The bride is trying to orchestrate an adult reception meal without distruptions by 20 young children screaming/running. A happy nine month old isn't the problem she's trying to avoid.

With these options, I'd imagine that I would keep a sleeping baby with me and at my table, not distracting anyone. If the baby was awake during the reception, I'd expect to hang out with her in the nanny room. I wouldn't leave her if I didn't want to. If it was time to eat and she was fussy, I'd just juggle with DH to be at the table or in the nanny room. If it wasn't too weird, maybe I'd take my dinner plate into the nanny room. The actual dinner doesn't take that long, I can't imagine not being able to take turns with DH so we can both eat and one of us could be with her.

The nanny room might be great. But if you don't like them, go old school and leave early.

So, I'd just email the bride with the name/age of your baby, a yes on the nanny set-up, a thanks, and a 'no' on food (if I'm correct that you are bringing the 9 month old's food and/or your boob).

If you want to stick it to her - ask for separate refrigeration and warming for the baby's bottle!! Ha ha.

I agree with all of this, and that's exactly what I'd do.

It sounds like kids are welcome for dessert and dancing, so it's not really a kid-free reception. As long as any disruption by your baby (crying, crawling all over) is kept to the nanny room, I think you're good. I would totally just trade off with DH during dinner.

[cookiemdough]

The options were to use the childcare room or book your own nanny. I wouldn't take from that infants are welcome at the reception.

[hannamarin]

My SIL called the bride
Kids are welcome for dessert and dancing. I actually like this idea
But she was also told that most of the children attending are under 2 yrs old!
I will see how the set up is when we get there and my H and I can take turns with the baby if necessary. It will alsobe good to have somewhere to park the baby if she falls asleep.

[hannamarin]

And H clueless tidbit.
When I read him the email, he said, "but we're family. Dont wory about it".
Dummy. People like him ruin pretty princess days.

[MamaMaui24]

Jul 14, 2012 6:48:52 GMT -5 @hannamarin said:

And H clueless tidbit.
When I read him the email, he said, "but we're family. Dont wory about it".
Dummy. People like him ruin pretty princess days.

Totally! Everyone thinks they are the exception. "but my baby is good and cute and everyone wants to see him/her. This is just for the other brats."

[luvmagoldn]

I think keeping the baby in a stroller in the reception room would be a big NO even if she's sleeping. It could also be problematic for the servers having to dodge the stroller. The bride clearly doesn't want children at the reception during dinner so I would take your LO to the nanny room during dinner. Presumably there will be enough nannies to make sure your LO doesn't get lost in the shuffle. Then go pick her up after dinner. If kids are welcome for dessert she would probably be in the nanny room for an hour max. It'll be ok.

[anna7602]

I actually think this whole email sounds like the bride is much more accomodating than people who just say no kids. For the record, I don't care if people invite kids to a wedding or not, I just think the fact that she's offering to pay for a nanny service is pretty generous of her. It shows that she really wants her friends with young kids to come and enjoy the reception. I would be pretty darned please that this option was offered, even if I didn't think it was the right fit for my child.

To the question, I think pp's advice is right. It depends on whether you think your child will continue to sleep in the stroller with noise around her, but I would probably try the nanny room. I took DD to a wedding when she was 10 months old and it was fine, she behaved well during the dinner, but it would have been so nice to have somewhere to leave her so DH and I could eat in peace. We were basically eating in shifts while the other entertained DD and when she wanted to nurse, it was all me. If she had been in another room, she would have been fine with a bottle. But with me right in front of her, it was the boob or bust.

[thedash]

Jul 14, 2012 7:37:00 GMT -5 luvmagoldn said:

I think keeping the baby in a stroller in the reception room would be a big NO even if she's sleeping. It could also be problematic for the servers having to dodge the stroller. The bride clearly doesn't want children at the reception during dinner so I would take your LO to the nanny room during dinner. Presumably there will be enough nannies to make sure your LO doesn't get lost in the shuffle. Then go pick her up after dinner. If kids are welcome for dessert she would probably be in the nanny room for an hour max. It'll be ok.


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I agree. It does not sound like the bride wants a stroller at the table during dinner. What time is the reception? If she'll be sleeping most of the time I'd just get a sitter in your hotel room.

[sugarbear]

I think this is great!
We did the same thing for our wedding, and parents loved it. They could check in on their kids whenever they wanted, but they were free to have a good time, too.

[otowngirl]

Ditto PPs who say no to a stroller at the dinner table. Lol. Seriously? Plus, a 9-mo old isn't like a 2-mo old who really would sleep most of the time.

[Deleted]

This means they do not want kids in the reception. Period. Until dessert. If you bring your sleeping kid, why wouldn't someone else figure they can bring their awake kid? They are being pretty clear about their intentions and even providing care so you can bring infants. Don't bring your kid, or don't bring your kid in until dessert.

Signed,
Mom who skipped 3 weddings b/c they wouldn't let me bring my infant and I didn't want to insult everyone by doing it anyway.

[vanillacourage]

The bride doesn't want kids in the room during dinner (and probably speeches - which is possibly the real reason behind having the kids elsewhere for a certain period of time). Don't bring your kiddo to the table, even if she's sleeping. The bride is really going out of her way to facilitate people who can't leave their kids at home, so I'd follow her wishes.

[h]

Jul 14, 2012 13:03:26 GMT -5 otowngirl said:

Ditto PPs who say no to a stroller at the dinner table. Lol. Seriously? Plus, a 9-mo old isn't like a 2-mo old who really would sleep most of the time.

Yup. I would absolutely not bring a stroller to the table or have a baby in the room during dinner. You would be "that parent." It sounds like the bride is being considerate and accomodating, and I would have no qualms about leaving my 9 month old child with what sounds like a licensed nanny service for an hour or two with me close enough to pop in and check on her. Plus, it will be fun to have a nice adult dinner with free babysitting! Enjoy it!

[ECB]

Yeah- she doesn't want kids in there until later. Even 9 months old. I fully agree- if you bring your stroller in, you will be "that parent". As said, she's 9 months old. That isn't the same as a newborn who really does sleep all the time.

New environment, noise, people - I would NOT assume she'll fall asleep and stay asleep at her usual time.

Either use the nanny service or take turns or just skip the reception.

[CloudBee]

Jul 13, 2012 19:29:57 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

It sounds like kids are sort of welcome- like they can come in for dessert. But not dinner. If you think she will fall asleep, I would honestly assume it is ok to have the stroller parked near you with her zonked out in it. Maybe she can go to the kids room until bedtime, you or DH can stroll her around outside or in the hotel hallways until she sleeps, then park her either with you if your table location is out of the way, or with the nannies.

I would not assume this. It sounds like having a stroller parked at an already full table is exactly the sort of scenario the bride/groom were hoping to avoid.

[GailGoldie]

another vote for - do NOT bring your baby, no matter what, b/c the bride has made it clear she doesn't want kids there during the meal.

do everyone a favor- and just get a sitter either at home overnight, or in your hotel room- so your child can sleep and you can enjoy the night like an adult without worrying about a child.

[dcrunnergirl]

Jul 14, 2012 17:30:03 GMT -5 ECB said:

Yeah- she doesn't want kids in there until later. Even 9 months old. I fully agree- if you bring your stroller in, you will be "that parent". As said, she's 9 months old. That isn't the same as a newborn who really does sleep all the time.

New environment, noise, people - I would NOT assume she'll fall asleep and stay asleep at her usual time.

Either use the nanny service or take turns or just skip the reception.

Ditto this. The idea that you could bring a stroller to the table, thereby ignoring the requests of the bride who is being overly accommodating already, does make you "that parent."

[bronxgirl]

I think it's great that they are hiring a nanny service.