Clinic Counselor Films Own Abortion

[gpw]

May 6, 2014 18:16:15 GMT -5 AJL said:

May 6, 2014 18:08:09 GMT -5 gpw said:

While I don't think it trivializes it, I did say something about it doesn't sit right with me.  A FB friend of mine is having surgery on Thursday and it's the same (or really pretty similar) to the two surgeries I've had.  She was asking for PMs from anyone that may have had the surgery she was having.  We chatted for quite awhile about it last night and when we were done, she told me how much better she felt about going into surgery.  All that is to say, I think you can accomplish much of the same thing by sharing experiences.  Filming it....I just can't get myself to feel other than squicky about it.  

But how do you do that when no one talks openly about the abortion(s) they've had?  I have my doubts that if I made a call out for personal abortion experiences that I would have a full PM inbox.  Abortion is so fucking taboo and it shouldn't be. It is a big decision to make and no one disputes that. However, it should be morally and emotionally and psychologically fully within the rights of a woman to make the decision to have one, but that decision is still scary. Emily Letts understands this first hand, both as a counselor and a patient. I think she did a public service with this.

The reason it squicks people out is because it IS an abortion. It was not a gory film. The procedure itself wasn't shown so there is not vagina or blood or tissue to get icky over. The ick factor is purely that it was a pregnancy termination. And while the pro-choice movement as a whole wants such a procedure legal, available, and affordable, we still don't like to talk about what actually happens and how it affects the women who choose it. 

You're absolutely right.  It squicks me out because it's an abortion.  I will own it.  I can really see the benefit of it.  Truly.  Still, maybe I am once again projecting my own issues onto it, but... I just can't get comfortable with it.  

I don't want anyone to misunderstand me, though.  I don't think abortion should be taboo.  We should be able to talk about it and there should not be a stigma and women should not be made to feel ashamed about it.  

[epphd]

May 6, 2014 18:19:01 GMT -5 tillie said:

May 6, 2014 18:14:10 GMT -5 epphd said:

You are assuming that just because it is on facebook it is trivial, which is a false presumption. People now use facebook as a major means of communication - from companies to non profits to churches. Posts are not always HEY FUN!!!

How else would you suggest she accomplish her goal? In all honesty - your assignment is to let (usually) young, (always) scared, intimidated women know that a legal, safe medical procedure is safe and accessible. How would you do that, and how would you disseminate the information?

This is a real question; I'd be curious to hear anyone answer - maybe there was a better approach.

I think she should have written about it.

Well I'm sure that would have solved it because I'm sure no one has before :/

lmgtfy.com/?q=blog+my+abortion

But let's just say that no one had and that not being able to read about it is what is keeping women from understanding their options. How should she have let women know she wrote it? Facebook is a way to disseminate information to a targeted audience. I think your unwillingness to acknowledge that is more a reflection on your distaste for the abortion itself, not the messaging.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

I appreciate that she's trying to remove some of the unknown from this. And if I were about to have an abortion, I would want to see the video. It comforts me to watch other people's procedures, and I've done it for everything from a cavity to a cyst removal. We don't need to keep abortions some secretive scary thing.

[Nonny]

I searched out videos before I had my eye surgery (implanted contact lenses) because I was absolutely freaking terrified of having someone mess with my eyes. Those videos were not comfortable for me to watch, but seeing people calm during the surgery helped me immensely, so I can see how having a video like this might help women who are seeking an abortion but are scared of the actual procedure.

[lexxasaurus]

May 6, 2014 18:16:15 GMT -5 AJL said:

May 6, 2014 18:08:09 GMT -5 gpw said:

While I don't think it trivializes it, I did say something about it doesn't sit right with me.  A FB friend of mine is having surgery on Thursday and it's the same (or really pretty similar) to the two surgeries I've had.  She was asking for PMs from anyone that may have had the surgery she was having.  We chatted for quite awhile about it last night and when we were done, she told me how much better she felt about going into surgery.  All that is to say, I think you can accomplish much of the same thing by sharing experiences.  Filming it....I just can't get myself to feel other than squicky about it.  

But how do you do that when no one talks openly about the abortion(s) they've had?  I have my doubts that if I made a call out for personal abortion experiences that I would have a full PM inbox.  Abortion is so fucking taboo and it shouldn't be. It is a big decision to make and no one disputes that. However, it should be morally and emotionally and psychologically fully within the rights of a woman to make the decision to have one, but that decision is still scary. Emily Letts understands this first hand, both as a counselor and a patient. I think she did a public service with this.

The reason it squicks people out is because it IS an abortion. It was not a gory film. The procedure itself wasn't shown so there is not vagina or blood or tissue to get icky over. The ick factor is purely that it was a pregnancy termination. And while the pro-choice movement as a whole wants such a procedure legal, available, and affordable, we still don't like to talk about what actually happens and how it affects the women who choose it. 

This is how I see it too. I had an abortion a year ago, and was sure it was the right decision for me but wanted to research everything I could before the procedure. I was terrified. Thankfully I found bits and pieces from extensive internet searching but it would have been so helpful to talk to someone about their personal experience to know what to expect. Unfortunately, you can't just post a "hey, tell me about your abortions!" post on Facebook like you can about a torn ACL repair or back surgery. I think this was a good way to get her message to the women it was intended for.

[penguingrrl]

This should be accessible to women seeking reassurance before their procedure, just as knee surgery or an appendectomy might be. While I personally don't seek reassurance in that way and prefer not to know what's going on in an OR I know many people who feel calmer if they know exactly what will happen. Why should they be punished because some see a legal and safe procedure as taboo? If you don't want one don't get one, if you don't want to watch, don't watch. But if this helps even one woman be mentally and emotionally prepared for her procedure then it has done good in this world.

[gpw]

May 6, 2014 18:46:25 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

May 6, 2014 18:21:53 GMT -5 gpw said:

You're absolutely right.  It squicks me out because it's an abortion.  I will own it.  I can really see the benefit of it.  Truly.  Still, maybe I am once again projecting my own issues onto it, but... I just can't get comfortable with it.  

I don't want anyone to misunderstand me, though.  I don't think abortion should be taboo.  We should be able to talk about it and there should not be a stigma and women should not be made to feel ashamed about it.  

Except omg no filming! lol 

Ok.  Go ahead and laugh at me.  

I don't understand why, but...yeah, go on, I guess.

[gpw]

May 6, 2014 19:08:43 GMT -5 @dontcallmeshirley1 said:

May 6, 2014 19:01:54 GMT -5 gpw said:

Ok.  Go ahead and laugh at me.  

I don't understand why, but...yeah, go on, I guess.

Look, it's probably because saying you don't want something to be taboo but that you can't get comfortable with the filming thereof is inconsistent. If you're really not comfortable with it being filmed like any other minor surgery, you still consider it taboo to some extent, which is absolutely understandable. 

Look.  I said my own issues were clouding my opinion.  

I'm backing out of this now.   

Ridicule away, ladies. 

[simplyinpenguin]

While I agree that the counselor opened herself up for scorn and "zomg killing babies!", she just silenced all their argumentative points they've made (despite not providing stats to back themselves up), leaving them to only wail about "tearing apart unborn babies". It's all about fear-mongering to them and now that has flown their nest. Let's see what the Pro-Life movement does now, without their usual tactics.

[Velar Fricative]

If many patients come into her clinic fearing the procedure because they think they will be cut open, etc., that is a great reason to film this. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about abortion, no small thanks to the anti-choice crowd. If this helps even just a few women feel more comfortable prior to the procedure, then this was worth it.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

May 6, 2014 19:10:32 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

May 6, 2014 19:01:54 GMT -5 gpw said:

Ok.  Go ahead and laugh at me.  

I don't understand why, but...yeah, go on, I guess.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you. I think the whole point of this is to show that it really is just another procedure. It's not some horrific thing, it's a minor medical procedure. There are groups that paint it out to be this horrific, terrible, make you sterile you'll hate  yourself for ever, you could get cancer and DIE, blah blah blah. And poof, here it is, for real, none of those things .Just a procedure you COULD maybe even  hum through. 

Exactly. I think people like tillie who think this is trivializing abortion probably also think abortion should always be some huge shameful ordeal. This woman was 2-3 weeks pregnant and knew she didn't want a child right now. Why shouldn't she hum during a procedure that's easily and effectively solving a problem? We're not talking about a woman who's having to abort at 8 months due to a genetic disorder. That would be incredibly hard to watch. This is like watching a pap smear.

[redheadbaker]

May 6, 2014 18:16:15 GMT -5 AJL said:

May 6, 2014 18:08:09 GMT -5 gpw said:

But how do you do that when no one talks openly about the abortion(s) they've had?  

Exactly what I was going to say. It's been almost a year, and I've still not told anyone outside of this board that I had an abortion after my water broke. 

[msmerymac]

May 6, 2014 17:43:44 GMT -5 tillie said:

May 6, 2014 17:41:09 GMT -5 epphd said:

Horrible and disgusting that she did it or filmed it?

Sorry, that she filmed it and really because she put it on Facebook. It trivializes the whole thing.

You know, for some people, having an abortion isn't this huge moral dilemma. In fact, for some people, it's not a difficult or painful decision at all. 

You're implying that it should be the Most. Important. Thing. Ever. to someone who does it, but that's just not the case, and really is judgmental towards those who feel differently. 

[aurora]

May 6, 2014 19:48:37 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

May 6, 2014 18:16:15 GMT -5 AJL said:

But how do you do that when no one talks openly about the abortion(s) they've had?  

Exactly what I was going to say. It's been almost a year, and I've still not told anyone outside of this board that I had an abortion after my water broke. 

Hugs. I'm guessing it's hard to have gone through that and feel like you can't talk about it IRL.

[aurora]

May 6, 2014 18:42:41 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

May 6, 2014 18:04:02 GMT -5 NewOrleans said:

hm.  I guess I was thinking more like most medical procedures AREN'T filmed, not that they ARE.  I agree it should be no different, meaning stop filming your innards and shit, lol.  I don't want to see the fluid that was in your knee, and I don't want to see your tonsils and glottis and such.

omg 
every single medical procedure there is, is on line somewhere, filmed by someone. lol 

And the fact that it's not newsworthy to write about these videos is yet another product of the controversy over the safe, legal procedure of abortion.

[irishbride2]

I'm having such polar opposite reactions to this. I keep swinging back and forth and I cannot explain why.

And I am someone who has zero emotional attachment to a fetus. I am extremely pro choice.

Its very odd that my reaction keeps changing so drastically. I need to ponder this for a bit.

[simplyinpenguin]

May 6, 2014 20:17:46 GMT -5 socratic said:

it wast the best decision of my life.

You did just admit it to a group of women and we would never dream of telling you that your personal decision was not the best choice. You did what you had to do. It's your life, don't ever be ashamed of what you do with it.

[simplyinpenguin]

May 6, 2014 20:30:08 GMT -5 socratic said:

May 6, 2014 20:25:15 GMT -5 simplyinpenguin said:

You did just admit it to a group of women and we would never dream of telling you that your personal decision was not the best choice. You did what you had to do. It's your life, don't ever be ashamed of what you do with it.

Sorry typo it WAS the best decision of my life

Oh I know what you were saying and my previous comment still stands

[PinkSquirrel]

May 6, 2014 19:08:43 GMT -5 @dontcallmeshirley1 said:

May 6, 2014 19:01:54 GMT -5 gpw said:

Ok.  Go ahead and laugh at me.  

I don't understand why, but...yeah, go on, I guess.

Look, it's probably because saying you don't want something to be taboo but that you can't get comfortable with the filming thereof is inconsistent. If you're really not comfortable with it being filmed like any other minor surgery, you still consider it taboo to some extent, which is absolutely understandable. 

I'm part of an abortion fund.  Occasionally, we do a values clarification where we list abortion situations and ask people to rate how comfortable they are with them anonymously.  What I've learned is that even the strongest abortion supporters have things that make them uncomfortable.  


@gpw explained why and it's not like it was some anti-abortion rant.  Of course, she can not want abortion to be taboo, but have some personal discomfort in certain areas.  It's not like she's out reporting the post to FB.   

[KateAggie]

I'm having a hard time with how I'm supposed to think an aspiring actress filmed this, but it's not her being an AW.

[Michelle]

Forgive me if someone said this and i missed it, but the reason this situation does not sit well with me is most medical procedures that i have watched on film were of anonymous participants who consented but who were not in it for notoriety or their own gain. Her humming through it, posting on FB... it is almost fame whorish. Whereas giving it to her clinic to use on their website to ease the concern and fear of patients is an act that is not about her and is all about the patient.

It is like she did it to be the pro choice heroine, not for the patient.

[pixy0stix]

I think there's a lot about this that can be criticized, fairly or not, which is what makes me uncomfortable.

[KateAggie]

May 6, 2014 21:19:02 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

May 6, 2014 21:12:06 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

I'm having a hard time with how I'm supposed to think an aspiring actress filmed this, but it's not her being an AW.

so would any time she appears on film be suspect?

Michelle put my gut feelings into a more thought out statement.

[pixy0stix]

May 6, 2014 21:19:35 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

May 6, 2014 21:18:12 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I think there's a lot about this that can be criticized, fairly or not, which is what makes me uncomfortable.

i think if a nun that had been raped filmed this, she would have been questioned.

Maybe, but the sum of this is that it would have been better if someone anonymous would have allowed this to be filmed in a clinical way.

I don't have a problem that she did this. I just think that all of what has been expressed in this thread is the most polite of what is happening elsewhere. You have people here who are pro-choice going, "whoa, uhhhh... this makes me not feel quite right." When it affects your base, then there probably is a better way to do this.

[NewOrleans]

May 6, 2014 21:14:39 GMT -5 Michelle said:

Forgive me if someone said this and i missed it, but the reason this situation does not sit well with me is most medical procedures that i have watched on film were of anonymous participants who consented but who were not in it for notoriety or their own gain. Her humming through it, posting on FB... it is almost fame whorish. Whereas giving it to her clinic to use on their website to ease the concern and fear of patients is an act that is not about her and is all about the patient.

It is like she did it to be the pro choice heroine, not for the patient.

Well, there are plenty of pro-choice folks uncomfortable with it for a spectrum of reasons, so I don't know that it's working for her, if this is her motivation.

Could it be that she is not going anonymous because she is trying to put a personal face to the story?  Like, "I am not an anonymous anybody; I am (what's her name), and I had an abortion."  If she didn't put a name to it, then it speaks of shame / hiding, which she states is one of the stigmas she is fighting against.

[Deleted]

I support her choice. Well done.

[NewOrleans]

May 6, 2014 21:25:11 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 6, 2014 21:19:35 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

i think if a nun that had been raped filmed this, she would have been questioned.

 I just think that all of what has been expressed in this thread is the most polite of what is happening elsewhere.

well, minus the "she might be a degenerate whore who shouldn't be allowed to counsel women about abortions if she accidentally got pregnant, but she probably got pregnant on purpose just to make an abortion video."

[pixy0stix]

May 6, 2014 21:30:26 GMT -5 NewOrleans said:

May 6, 2014 21:25:11 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

 I just think that all of what has been expressed in this thread is the most polite of what is happening elsewhere.

well, minus the "she might be a degenerate whore who shouldn't be allowed to counsel women about abortions if she accidentally got pregnant, but she probably got pregnant on purpose just to make an abortion video."

Well yeah, we always have one extreme. I would say that's probably 100% spot on to what other people are thinking, though.

[PinkSquirrel]

I'm confused about the problem with the humming. Even if it was on film, she was still going through and actual medical procedure. At least to me, it seemed more like a meditative hum to get her through. It's not like she was humming a song. It is so weird to me to judge how someone gets them self through a medical procedure.

[NewOrleans]

May 6, 2014 21:32:52 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 6, 2014 21:30:26 GMT -5 NewOrleans said:

well, minus the "she might be a degenerate whore who shouldn't be allowed to counsel women about abortions if she accidentally got pregnant, but she probably got pregnant on purpose just to make an abortion video."

Well yeah, we always have one extreme. I would say that's probably 100% spot on to what other people are thinking, though.

whorey whores who whore and get ab-whortions.