I am more concern for BK as her core beliefs seems to be reflecting that she given up on finding the right guy since so many of her posts consist of finding all the shady guys and hanging out with them even though she knows they are not good enough for her. But I am not so sure that she truly believes that she deserves better and that is where my concerns are.
I am more concern for BK as her core beliefs seems to be reflecting that she given up on finding the right guy since so many of her posts consist of finding all the shady guys and hanging out with them even though she knows they are not good enough for her. But I am not so sure that she truly believes that she deserves better and that is where my concerns are.
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
I am more concern for BK as her core beliefs seems to be reflecting that she given up on finding the right guy since so many of her posts consist of finding all the shady guys and hanging out with them even though she knows they are not good enough for her. But I am not so sure that she truly believes that she deserves better and that is where my concerns are.
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
I am more concern for BK as her core beliefs seems to be reflecting that she given up on finding the right guy since so many of her posts consist of finding all the shady guys and hanging out with them even though she knows they are not good enough for her. But I am not so sure that she truly believes that she deserves better and that is where my concerns are.
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
Core beliefs, my ass.
Dude. Do you need to step outside for some fresh air? Maybe walk around the block a couple times?
No worries ... I'm kind of side eyeing the whole post because people certainly have gotten out their Jump to Conclusions matts. I've definitely posted more flameworthy comments in the past that have gone unnoticed and probably even mentioned having threesomes before. Whatevs... I guess people were just bored on a Wednesday.
I am more concern for BK as her core beliefs seems to be reflecting that she given up on finding the right guy since so many of her posts consist of finding all the shady guys and hanging out with them even though she knows they are not good enough for her. But I am not so sure that she truly believes that she deserves better and that is where my concerns are.
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
Core beliefs, my ass.
I am probably adding more flames to the fire....but he called her his gf....just saying...
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
Core beliefs, my ass.
Dude. Do you need to step outside for some fresh air? Maybe walk around the block a couple times?
Nope. I just think that it's pretty gross to assume she's a sex addict, suffers low self esteem or lacks core beliefs simply because she's not shy about being a sexual person.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
I totally agree with this, but I think the concern was not the act itself, (hey get on with your threesome self BK But rather this in relation to other things she's posted about this guy. Such as him calling her his girlfriend, her repeated talks about "getting more and more sucked in." It makes it sound like she does have an emotional connection to this guy. (And BK I apologize if I've made some assumptions here) I don't think in general people's response to this was to be "judgy." Although I definitely side eye the bad mom stuff, etc. that was out of line. I think we are a community of people who really care about each other and don't want to see anyone get into a toxic place. So even if it was over the top, I think most of it, I know my comment was, from a good place.
Dude. Do you need to step outside for some fresh air? Maybe walk around the block a couple times?
Nope. I just think that it's pretty gross to assume she's a sex addict, suffers low self esteem or lacks core beliefs simply because she's not shy about being a sexual person.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
It's not your place, or anyone else's, to worry about anyone's "core beliefs" but your own.
She knows this guy isn't LTR material, but she's not in a mad dash to find her next husband. She's not emotionally invested, or serious about him. She's having fun. It's a romp.
I understand that we're all out of relationships that weren't good and don't want to end up with someone who's not right for us. But BK doesn't see herself with this dude. He's not her boyfriend. They're casual; it's essentially a FWB thing.
Core beliefs, my ass.
I am probably adding more flames to the fire....but he called her his gf....just saying...
He is my boyfriend but this is a recent development as of this weekend. When we started out he told me that he didn't want a relationship and he wasn't "boyfriend material". I told him we didn't need to label things and let's just have fun. Then the topic came up this weekend. I also told him though that I did not see us having any type of long term potential, I couldn't picture myself ever living together and I don't see myself getting married again any time soon if ever. So we are on the same page. Plus I told him that I really didn't think he was the kind of guy that I would allow around my son, although they have met.
Dude. Do you need to step outside for some fresh air? Maybe walk around the block a couple times?
Nope. I just think that it's pretty gross to assume she's a sex addict, suffers low self esteem or lacks core beliefs simply because she's not shy about being a sexual person.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
I am probably adding more flames to the fire....but he called her his gf....just saying...
He is my boyfriend but this is a recent development as of this weekend. When we started out he told me that he didn't want a relationship and he wasn't "boyfriend material". I told him we didn't need to label things and let's just have fun. Then the topic came up this weekend. I also told him though that I did not see us having any type of long term potential, I couldn't picture myself ever living together and I don't see myself getting married again any time soon if ever. So we are on the same page. Plus I told him that I really didn't think he was the kind of guy that I would allow around my son, although they have met.
What's the plan for when your son comes home? Are you going to just drop him or see him on the side? Hah I'm not judging, just curious.
He is my boyfriend but this is a recent development as of this weekend. When we started out he told me that he didn't want a relationship and he wasn't "boyfriend material". I told him we didn't need to label things and let's just have fun. Then the topic came up this weekend. I also told him though that I did not see us having any type of long term potential, I couldn't picture myself ever living together and I don't see myself getting married again any time soon if ever. So we are on the same page. Plus I told him that I really didn't think he was the kind of guy that I would allow around my son, although they have met.
What's the plan for when your son comes home? Are you going to just drop him or see him on the side? Hah I'm not judging, just curious.
I'm building myself up to end things, but IDK. He has these grand plans so I'm going to see what pans out if anything...
I am probably adding more flames to the fire....but he called her his gf....just saying...
He is my boyfriend but this is a recent development as of this weekend. When we started out he told me that he didn't want a relationship and he wasn't "boyfriend material". I told him we didn't need to label things and let's just have fun. Then the topic came up this weekend. I also told him though that I did not see us having any type of long term potential, I couldn't picture myself ever living together and I don't see myself getting married again any time soon if ever. So we are on the same page. Plus I told him that I really didn't think he was the kind of guy that I would allow around my son, although they have met.
Why has he met your son already? I know your son is away right now...
He is my boyfriend but this is a recent development as of this weekend. When we started out he told me that he didn't want a relationship and he wasn't "boyfriend material". I told him we didn't need to label things and let's just have fun. Then the topic came up this weekend. I also told him though that I did not see us having any type of long term potential, I couldn't picture myself ever living together and I don't see myself getting married again any time soon if ever. So we are on the same page. Plus I told him that I really didn't think he was the kind of guy that I would allow around my son, although they have met.
Why has he met your son already? I know your son is away right now...
Because the first time that I met him I was at my sister's house. He is a friend of my brother in laws and he happened to be there. It wasn't like an intentional meeting.
What's the plan for when your son comes home? Are you going to just drop him or see him on the side? Hah I'm not judging, just curious.
I'm building myself up to end things, but IDK. He has these grand plans so I'm going to see what pans out if anything...
If you are building yourself up to end things why are you bumping him up to boyfriend status? What sort of GRAND PLANS? I am so intrigued! When I did the same thing with a guy I eventually started to like him so much that I used to justify all his faults and I actually briefly convinced myself that I could marry him and it'd all be okay. PLEASE just don't do that lol
Why has he met your son already? I know your son is away right now...
Because the first time that I met him I was at my sister's house. He is a friend of my brother in laws and he happened to be there. It wasn't like an intentional meeting.
Okay I figured it was something like this, just checking.
If you continue to date him after your son gets back home, are you going to let them meet again or no?
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
I totally agree with this, but I think the concern was not the act itself, (hey get on with your threesome self BK But rather this in relation to other things she's posted about this guy. Such as him calling her his girlfriend, her repeated talks about "getting more and more sucked in." It makes it sound like she does have an emotional connection to this guy. (And BK I apologize if I've made some assumptions here) I don't think in general people's response to this was to be "judgy." Although I definitely side eye the bad mom stuff, etc. that was out of line. I think we are a community of people who really care about each other and don't want to see anyone get into a toxic place. So even if it was over the top, I think most of it, I know my comment was, from a good place.
This is where I am standing. I don't care about what people do in the bedroom as long as everyone is a consenting adult. I just think BK is worth more than this guy and I don't want her getting sucked in. That + previous posts about going on dates with guys she knew she wasn't interested in makes me wonder why she seems to always need to date/have a guy around
Granted-I am making assumptions and I am projecting because of my family and with my sister right now. She can't be single and I hate it and she keeps ending up in these AWFUL relationships and I just don't want that for anyone. Love and concern. I think this comment got jumped on because she recently SAID she should dump him and she hasn't.
I'm building myself up to end things, but IDK. He has these grand plans so I'm going to see what pans out if anything...
If you are building yourself up to end things why are you bumping him up to boyfriend status? What sort of GRAND PLANS? I am so intrigued! When I did the same thing with a guy I eventually started to like him so much that I used to justify all his faults and I actually briefly convinced myself that I could marry him and it'd all be okay. PLEASE just don't do that lol
IDK it just kind of happened. It was like 2 in the morning and I was half asleep and he was being really sweet. He's 26 so he has all these life plans and goals and wants to clean up his life and all. Just stuff related to that. But I'm pretty sure he's mostly all talk.
Because the first time that I met him I was at my sister's house. He is a friend of my brother in laws and he happened to be there. It wasn't like an intentional meeting.
Okay I figured it was something like this, just checking.
If you continue to date him after your son gets back home, are you going to let them meet again or no?
I don't have any plans to. He's have to make a lot of changes and I don't see that happening. So in a word, no.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
I totally agree with this, but I think the concern was not the act itself, (hey get on with your threesome self BK But rather this in relation to other things she's posted about this guy. Such as him calling her his girlfriend, her repeated talks about "getting more and more sucked in." It makes it sound like she does have an emotional connection to this guy. (And BK I apologize if I've made some assumptions here) I don't think in general people's response to this was to be "judgy." Although I definitely side eye the bad mom stuff, etc. that was out of line. I think we are a community of people who really care about each other and don't want to see anyone get into a toxic place. So even if it was over the top, I think most of it, I know my comment was, from a good place.
Yes, this post response clarifies the intention of what I was trying to say and was not about the sex act itself.
Dude. Do you need to step outside for some fresh air? Maybe walk around the block a couple times?
Nope. I just think that it's pretty gross to assume she's a sex addict, suffers low self esteem or lacks core beliefs simply because she's not shy about being a sexual person.
I'm sick of women with robust sexuality (credit for this term goes to LTP) being questioned, pigeonholed, or punished for it.
Yes I did question her sexuality, and it had nothing do with it being "robust". It had everything to do with my own perception that her choices are reckless.
I realize I am in the minority here, but I am only giving an honest assessment.
As mentioned in my original reply, I hope I am dead wrong about you BK....for your sake and more importantly for your son's sake.