Wut? No. When I go to a wedding, I've got my hair and makeup done. I cannot just go lay down for awhile.
Okay, I don't think cleo's gap was bad, but I definitely agree with you, because people with gaps always say it's an opportunity for the guests to rest. What do they mean, rest? I was just sitting for an hour through your ceremony, I'll be sitting through dinner as well. I'm not a two-year-old! I don't need a nap!
Yeah this concept of a wedding nap is so bizarre to me.
I had my first ever mammo today, GYN found a small lump at my yearly, plus it was time to start doing them anyway. Plus, I got a internal ultrasound due to some pretty horrific pelvic pain. (fun times!)
I was all breezy about it all until I was in the car on the way home and I had to pull over because I just started to bawl.
Post by daisybuchannan on Jun 5, 2014 12:14:08 GMT -5
calamity My H is VERY aware of how messed up it is, and has actually started going to therapy bc of anxiety/stress issues and it basically came out that his childhood/mom is the source of it.
Even though I feel like it would be satisfying in some ways for him to call her out, the therapist bascially said she is not going to change or see the fault in what she's doing (she will simply deny the disparity btwn how she treats the kids and her rudeness to me). Therapist said his choices are to cut his parents out of his life (it's not going to happen) or take the relationship at face value.
I have never attended or been to a wedding where people did this. I'm not going to prep myself twice for one event. DAFUQ.
i've never attended a wedding where people DIDN'tT do this. though, there is always one or two weirdos who come to the ceremony in reception-wear and they look ridiculous.
But why do the ceremony and reception need separate outfits? And why the super high heels for dancing?
i've never attended a wedding where people DIDN'tT do this. though, there is always one or two weirdos who come to the ceremony in reception-wear and they look ridiculous.
But why do the ceremony and reception need separate outfits? And why the super high heels for dancing?
Therapist said his choices are to cut his parents out of his life (it's not going to happen) or take the relationship at face value.
There is some truth in this, but it's not just about your husband, it affects your children too. If he can't 'cut' them out then he should severely limit the amount of time that your children are around them.
I'm sorry that you're in the middle of it. They sound super shitty. I'm glad that your H is trying to work through this stuff.
ETA- I could totally be projecting, my dad's family is super fucked up and I wish he would have protected us a lot more. I hope I didn't offend.
I have never attended or been to a wedding where people did this. I'm not going to prep myself twice for one event. DAFUQ.
i've never attended a wedding where people DIDN'tT do this. though, there is always one or two weirdos who come to the ceremony in reception-wear and they look ridiculous.
I've only ever changed shoes/added jewellery for the reception.
I have never attended or been to a wedding where people did this. I'm not going to prep myself twice for one event. DAFUQ.
i've never attended a wedding where people DIDN'tT do this. though, there is always one or two weirdos who come to the ceremony in reception-wear and they look ridiculous.
But why do the ceremony and reception need separate outfits? And why the super high heels for dancing?
b/c when there is a gap, the ceremony is typically in the afternoon (like 1 or 2 or 3pm), but the reception isn't until evening (6, usually). you can't wear 6 o' clock outfits at 1 o'clock. simple as that.
now wmabm, you know i love you, right? flip flops with a cocktail dress? NO GIRL. no.
Therapist said his choices are to cut his parents out of his life (it's not going to happen) or take the relationship at face value.
There is some truth in this, but it's not just about your husband, it affects your children too. If he can't 'cut' them out then he should severely limit the amount of time that your children are around them.
I'm sorry that you're in the middle of it. They sound super shitty. I'm glad that your H is trying to work through this stuff.
Thanks. It's so hard bc I get pissed off and bitch about it, but it only hurts my H further bc he sees how shitty it is. My H is literally the best husband and dad, and so outgoing and fun to be around. If you ask anyone that knows him they will literally rave about what a great guy he is. If anyone compliments him in front of or to his mom, she will either act surprised or flat out ignore it.
I've never been to a wedding where I had to change oufits.
i only fel like i HAVE to if the ceremony is daytime and the reception is night time. it's really hard to find an outfit that works for both. so, instead of sweating it, i just wear day-wear for the ceremony and evening-wear for the reception.
i didn't make this up. this is how people do, here.
I actually kind of like this idea, because MORE OUTFITS! Lol.
Okay, I don't think cleo's gap was bad, but I definitely agree with you, because people with gaps always say it's an opportunity for the guests to rest. What do they mean, rest? I was just sitting for an hour through your ceremony, I'll be sitting through dinner as well. I'm not a two-year-old! I don't need a nap!
Yeah this concept of a wedding nap is so bizarre to me.
Post by daisybuchannan on Jun 5, 2014 12:25:15 GMT -5
I think we can also probably agree that the wedding stuff is highly regional.
People will probably flame me for saying this- but there are a lot of things that people say about weddings that are NOT normal for weddings here. Just like you may have never thought to change outfits in between, I would never think to bring my kid to an evening reception. It just doesn't happen. I think weddings in the midwest might be more laid back? One of my bff's family is from the midwest, and there were a lot of obvious differences in her family vs those from where we live at her wedding last year. One of her cousins wore a baby in a bjorn during the evening reception.
I've gotten so use to going to Indian weddings that clothing changes are a given. Something new has to be worn to each and every ceremony and everyone changes between the wedding and reception.
My confession is that I'm sad that people seem to favor one of my babies over the other. It's lame, I know, but it makes my heart hurt. One of my babies is outgoing and smiley and generally happy most of the time. My other baby is more particular and doesn't like to be held by others. Because people don't usually get to hold the one baby, I think, they tend to favor the other. The grandmas call and ask all about one baby and gush on and on about how cute this baby is, but don't say a thing about the other, even when I offer updates. My MIL was in town last week and kept saying over and over how much she loves the one baby, but never once said the same about the other.
I'm sure it will all even out over the years, but for now, I feel protective and sad for the overlooked baby.
In line with the wedding-related confessions- I teared up at my second wedding. Dry eyes at my first wedding. But when I go to other weddings, I always cry when the bride walks down the aisle. Like, we went to xh's CW's daughter's wedding. I barely knew her, but I still cried when she came down the aisle.
And I am NOT a crier, not overly emotional in any way. It's so embarrassing.
In line with the wedding-related confessions- I teared up at my second wedding. Dry eyes at my first wedding. But when I go to other weddings, I always cry when the bride walks down the aisle. Like, we went to xh's CW's daughter's wedding. I barely knew her, but I still cried when she came down the aisle.
And I am NOT a crier, not overly emotional in any way. It's so embarrassing.
I think I would cry at a wedding of complete strangers. Something about the swell of the music, people standing up, the hush over the crowd...sniff sniff.
I'm thankful most of my friends are poor and do Friday night weddings b/c that means no gap.
I had pizza for lunch and am having it for dinner. Different kinds, so I'm totally ok with it. It is not helping my realization that I need to start eating better b/c my clothes are getting tight. Dumb no milk making body.
I have started doing this thing where I deduct pounds before i even step on the scale. I'm ovulating, so that always adds 3 lbs. I have already had a bowl of cereal and probably a pound of coffee. Also, I haven't pooped in a few days. A cording to my calculations, I am at least 4.5 pounds less than whatever the scale is about to say. Then I climb aboard, content knowing that I weigh substantially less than what the scale says. Lol!
Lol! I do this too! Totally need a buffer before I can accept the number that pops up
In line with the wedding-related confessions- I teared up at my second wedding. Dry eyes at my first wedding. But when I go to other weddings, I always cry when the bride walks down the aisle. Like, we went to xh's CW's daughter's wedding. I barely knew her, but I still cried when she came down the aisle.
And I am NOT a crier, not overly emotional in any way. It's so embarrassing.
I think I would cry at a wedding of complete strangers. Something about the swell of the music, people standing up, the hush over the crowd...sniff sniff.
Post by oregonpachey on Jun 5, 2014 12:33:20 GMT -5
I need to find a therapist but I have no idea on how to go about finding one. When I saw one for my PPD, I found one that specialized in that. My issues now aren't related to PPD.
I am feeling pretty shitty about myself these days. I am not cut out to be a mom at all. I love my kids and go through the motions and do fun stuff with them, but I am pretty sure I shouldn't have had kids. I am tired all the time, irritated with them and it's not their fault. They are just kids. And good ones at that.
I want to enjoy my time with them and love to play with them and love to be with them. I want to be one of those moms who loves being with their kids 24/7 instead of counting down the minutes until bedtime when I can have some quiet.
I know this sounds awful and I will probably get flamed to hell for it.