And your Dr didn't have any suggestions for you? I think that's unacceptable to be honest. Maybe try getting a second opinion? Someone has got to have a solution, you're not the only one to suffer from this condition.
We have tried a lot. Putting me in a medicaly induced menopause for a few months is really the step left. I guess the other side of this confession is that I'm pretty much terrified to do that lol.
Me too. And because of my age (31, which, lol), my surgeon is concerned about damaging my fertility, so before I spend 6 months on lupron, I get to have at least 2 rounds of egg stim/retrieval. Weeeee!
PM me if you every want to talk about this. I'm slightly terrified.
It is okay, thank you though. I have endometriosis and that's why I have pain, so says my doctor. It is what it is, but I guess I am just missing out.
Me too, and I had dispareunia (pain during sex) too. Turns out I had a HUGE endometriomia. Once that was removed, my pain was almost completely gone. When was the last time you had an ultrasound?
Please don't accept this as normal. It can be treated.
Are you on BCP to control the endo?
I am on bcp. It helps with the crazy insane I am going to die type cramps.
Would you have any interest in sex without the pain? If not, it's okay to just not be into sex. It's not the be all end all of human existence.
If you would be interested in it without the pain, I hope you can find a care team willing to give you an answer beyond "it is what it is". That's not okay. I wonder if this is something PT would help with or not, since it is more of an internal organs problem than a muscle problem, but I know PT can do wonders in lots of cases.
Hugs to you.
Well poop. I would push harder for a solution then. I just didn't want to be all "do all this stuff! more lube! you need to be able to have sex!" if you are just generally not into sex, because that's okay too. It's unfair that you haven't had an opportunity to make a decision about it pain free. Let me know if you want me to delete anything.
This is gross, but reality, do you use a good amount of lube? Just go nuts on the lube and deep breathe to relax your pelvis/vag walls. Become the hallway for the hotdog. That's what I do. I'm sorry you hurt.
If you have lube recs, I will take them. I use numbing stuff right now and it does okayish at best.
Sliquid Sassy (pink label) is amazing. It was actually designed for anal sex so like... it is For Real Very Lubricating. Paraben and glycerine free. I could be a sliquid rep. Their lubes are legit healing.
ETA : It's also vegan friendly if that floats your boat.
We have tried a lot. Putting me in a medicaly induced menopause for a few months is really the step left. I guess the other side of this confession is that I'm pretty much terrified to do that lol.
I had surgery to get rid of my Stage 4 endo and then did this for 4 months. And while my barometer of what's 'not that bad' might be skewed by this point, it was not that bad. And it has helped tremendously with my pain during sex, and pain during periods, and pain when I had to pee, and pain when I have gas, and on and on. I would recommend.
Yeah, like I wake up with crazy terrible cramps in the middle of the night.
I suppose I would be okay with never having sex ever, but I feel so damn bad for my FI. He loves me so much and I'd love to have the physical connection with him, but short of taking out my ute/tubes, I'm really kind of out of ideas. :/
Oh, FFS, brew. First, it's because she's chubby. Then it's because of the complaining. No, it's the food she eats! I mean, it's just concern because of the diets she's doing! Please.
I don't know what, if any of this, I believe. But regardless, it's shitty. Your sister needs support and love right now, not judgment and being looked at as/called chubby.
If any of my loved ones were concerned with me, I hope the first thing they wouldn't think of is my "chubbiness."
Heaven forbid you ever find yourself depressed and confused and lost. Just hope whoever is there for you, isn't secretly wishing you'd shut up and talking about how you look behind your back.
Do you normally have sex without something supporting your butt? Try putting a pillow under your hips that he is angled downwards. I have a painful vagina as well and sex always hurt. My gyn told me "it is a muscle clenching issue, you need to relax" but I found out through trial and error that the pain was coming from the, uh, "roof" (lol) of my vagina and anything tilted upwards would really hurt.
And now you know way more about my vagina than you should.
ETA: I also have an endo issue.
Are you "tipped back" too? :vagina high five: Did I just make it awkward?
I do agree with your suggestion. Anything that helped him aim toward the small of my back instead of my belly button helped.
And here's MY confession! BF is less endowed than exH and for the above reasons, it makes me really really really happy! I can do ALL the positions, whereas when I was married, I could do like 2.
Do you normally have sex without something supporting your butt? Try putting a pillow under your hips that he is angled downwards. I have a painful vagina as well and sex always hurt. My gyn told me "it is a muscle clenching issue, you need to relax" but I found out through trial and error that the pain was coming from the, uh, "roof" (lol) of my vagina and anything tilted upwards would really hurt.
And now you know way more about my vagina than you should.
ETA: I also have an endo issue.
Are you "tipped back" too? :vagina high five: Did I just make it awkward?
I do agree with your suggestion. Anything that helped him aim toward the small of my back instead of my belly button helped.
And here's MY confession! BF is less endowed than exH and for the above reasons, it makes me really really really happy! I can do ALL the positions, whereas when I was married, I could do like 2.
Not awkward at all! lol I just wonder why my gyn never told me about it, he just kept saying "I can feel you are tensed up, relax" and the whole 5 years I have been with H, I have been "it HURTS" and then I never want to do it because who the hell wants to have sex when it almost makes you cry? Within the last year I stumbled upon the whole tilting upwards so he was down and lots of lube.
Not sure if this is still a confessions thread But I have one. A year ago my younger sister got engaged and was engaged for about 3 months until the guy just decided that he didn't want to marry her anymore. Anyway she got real down about it (which I don't blame her for) but it's lasted for too long now and she's put on probably like 25 lbs from it. She is really chubby now and I feel bad saying this but it's really hard being around her because she complains about being chubby but then goes and eats all kinds of fast food and junk food. I feel bad for her but I'm SO TIRED of her complaining and not doing anything about it.
Complaining gets annoying. I annoy myself, sometimes. However, it's obviously an emotional thing, and not as easy as just dropping the weight. She's depressed. So you need to kind of be kind, there.
And I am kind to her. I am just venting here. Cause I totally wouldn't say any of this to anyone I actually knew.
She can't be chubby and beautiful? I'm only complaining about her complaining. I didn't think I was going to get support for thinking this way. I know it's not great of me to be frustrated at her. I just wish there were something I could do to help her so she wouldn't say things like I'm not going to the lake with our family because I'm too chubby for a swimsuit. It really does kill me because I love her and want her to be comfortable with herself. I just get so frustrated at her lack of motivation.
you look familar. Are you from Milwaukee area? Brewers fan?
Nope Minnesota girl. I must have a very familiar face because people have come up to me before saying that I look like someone they know.
Complaining gets annoying. I annoy myself, sometimes. However, it's obviously an emotional thing, and not as easy as just dropping the weight. She's depressed. So you need to kind of be kind, there.
And I am kind to her. I am just venting here. Cause I totally wouldn't say any of this to anyone I actually knew.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
She had a confession or something the other week about a poster she doesn't like. I was always kinda meh about this poster before. Now every time I read that persons posts it's all bitch eating crackers.
Eleanor ran into a building on fire and saved a family of four today!
I am SO proud of her. When the reporters asked her why she was awesome she said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what YOU can do for your country."
Are you "tipped back" too? :vagina high five: Did I just make it awkward?
I do agree with your suggestion. Anything that helped him aim toward the small of my back instead of my belly button helped.
And here's MY confession! BF is less endowed than exH and for the above reasons, it makes me really really really happy! I can do ALL the positions, whereas when I was married, I could do like 2.
Not awkward at all! lol I just wonder why my gyn never told me about it, he just kept saying "I can feel you are tensed up, relax" and the whole 5 years I have been with H, I have been "it HURTS" and then I never want to do it because who the hell wants to have sex when it almost makes you cry? Within the last year I stumbled upon the whole tilting upwards so he was down and lots of lube.
That IS weird because LITERALLY every doctor who has looked at my vagina since I first started having docs up in there has told me, "Did you know that you're tipped back?"
So they all told me that, but nobody caught on until I was 29 that I had stage 4 endo and a complete uterine septum.
Complaining gets annoying. I annoy myself, sometimes. However, it's obviously an emotional thing, and not as easy as just dropping the weight. She's depressed. So you need to kind of be kind, there.
And I am kind to her. I am just venting here. Cause I totally wouldn't say any of this to anyone I actually knew.
Because bitching about her behind her back makes you such a wonderful person.
She had a confession or something the other week about a poster she doesn't like. I was always kinda meh about this poster before. Now every time I read that persons posts it's all bitch eating crackers.
You guys might remember that there was a pretty unprofessional, disrespectful incident at my old school that led to me resigning and getting a new job. When I left, the guy who had disrespected me told me I was too young to know what I wanted and that he knew better than I did what was good for me, and that I'd hate it at my new job.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER GOT FIRED TODAY FOR A STATE TESTING VIOLATION. He lied about providing adequate training and then tried to cover it up and lied to save his ass, but his office is empty now. And he always used to say, "I'm not losing my job because you screw up this testing!"
I really hope none of my friends/family are silently judging me for the 25 lbs I've gained since DH's diagnosis.
I'm thinking about the 60 ( 60!!! Holy shit) I've gained since I had kids. I'm at the point where all my "new" friends have never known me not like this. I'm afraid to eat at social functions because I worry that there are some that judge.
And I am kind to her. I am just venting here. Cause I totally wouldn't say any of this to anyone I actually knew.
I just don't understand why it's that annoying, given the fact that she's struggling with depression/emotions. Isn't that what friends do--give their friends some breathing room when sh*t is sucking?
Yeah for sure. And I'm still all ears and willing to sit and hear her out. All I'm saying is that sometimes it gets old. She doesn't talk about anything else in her life. Not her pet, job, friends, things she's done. It's just complaining and wondering how she's going to lose the weight and has even talked about getting prescriptions from the dr. INSTEAD of trying working out and eating right.
Oh my goodness, you've never said anything on here that you wouldn't say to people IRL?
Yep. You're not an awful person, but you seem unnecessarily judgmental toward a friend. Honestly. No sarcasm. Not trying to jump on you for the sake of jumping on you.
Stuff like this is why I am paranoid to tell me friends anything/show my weaknesses. You never know when a friend is going to judge you for zippo.
She had a confession or something the other week about a poster she doesn't like. I was always kinda meh about this poster before. Now every time I read that persons posts it's all bitch eating crackers.
I've thought Daisy Buchwhatever was kind of a cunt from day one. I have a feeling her mother in law is fine and she avoids them because DB is a pain in the ass.
Jesus. I really think that was uncalled for. I don't want to be dragged into this, but everyone else is just ignoring it. So...
I need to find a therapist but I have no idea on how to go about finding one. When I saw one for my PPD, I found one that specialized in that. My issues now aren't related to PPD.
I am feeling pretty shitty about myself these days. I am not cut out to be a mom at all. I love my kids and go through the motions and do fun stuff with them, but I am pretty sure I shouldn't have had kids. I am tired all the time, irritated with them and it's not their fault. They are just kids. And good ones at that.
I want to enjoy my time with them and love to play with them and love to be with them. I want to be one of those moms who loves being with their kids 24/7 instead of counting down the minutes until bedtime when I can have some quiet.
I know this sounds awful and I will probably get flamed to hell for it.
Not from me you're not. I seriously went to the doctor once because I yelled at my kids so much. I got so sick of yelling at them that I decided in my head I must have been perimenopausal and went to the doctor for that. He was all, "Hmmm, I suppose it could be that, but why do you talk to the psychopharmacologist on staff and see what she thinks first." She put me on an antidepressant and whoa, nellie, my life changed. Well, not exactly like that because it took a couple of years at least of trial and error to find the right drug and dose, but really, the change once I got on the right one, was nothing short of miraculous.
She had a confession or something the other week about a poster she doesn't like. I was always kinda meh about this poster before. Now every time I read that persons posts it's all bitch eating crackers.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Didn't we JUST do the 'my friend is fat and it's giving me the saaaaaadz' the other day? Brew, go back and look how it ended for that poster and realize how terrible you sound. belch.
Eleanor ran into a building on fire and saved a family of four today!
I am SO proud of her. When the reporters asked her why she was awesome she said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what YOU can do for your country."