I have had nothing against her, but her posts on this subject did not make her sound like a delight. I hope to see more of the pleasant side of her.... perhaps staying off the subject of weight?
So she is concerned about her father's and husband's health and doesn't understand why her MIL couldn't even give her son a freaking smile when he informed her of his weight loss, and that makes her ... unpleasant?
I have had nothing against her, but her posts on this subject did not make her sound like a delight. I hope to see more of the pleasant side of her.... perhaps staying off the subject of weight?
So she is concerned about her father's and husband's health and doesn't understand why her MIL couldn't even give her son a freaking smile when he informed her of his weight loss, and that makes her ... unpleasant?
I remember reading that @stpete owns a franchise. For some reason I want to think she owns a Subway.
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I have seriously always thought this. I know it's not true, but it cracks me up in context of things she says about her business. Going out to see her customers = delivering subs, etc.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I may be insensitive to the painful sex folks...but reading about having any kind of sex makes me realize how much I miss it....and makes me even sadder when I realize that I don't know when the next time I'm going to get any
This is probably insensitive, but the talk of tilted vaginas and leaning back is making me picture vaginas driving around in lowriders in a gangsta-lean pose.
Ok, this took a very sexual turn, but I just have to say to melindafelinda and themoneytree and anyone else who thinks otherwise, daisybuchannan is a delight. A DELIGHT! If anyone should be called names, it's her MIL, because daisy and her son are so sweet and adorable and deserve better. It's her loss, really.
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Well as soon as I saw that TOTS and angry dick chick liked my post I assumed I needed to evaluate myself.
calamity My H is VERY aware of how messed up it is, and has actually started going to therapy bc of anxiety/stress issues and it basically came out that his childhood/mom is the source of it.
Even though I feel like it would be satisfying in some ways for him to call her out, the therapist bascially said she is not going to change or see the fault in what she's doing (she will simply deny the disparity btwn how she treats the kids and her rudeness to me). Therapist said his choices are to cut his parents out of his life (it's not going to happen) or take the relationship at face value.
his therapist sucks. There are a lot of other options here besides continuing the status quo without incident.
Are you in therapy?
She basically said that even though we can hope for people to change, we shouldn't bank on it or expect it. I understand that idea, as much as it sucks. Mil is basically the exact same as her mother- cold, unloving, and seemingly uninterested in being a mom. She talks terribly of her own mother, yet has no idea that she acts the same. Her family calls her by her mothers name jokingly.
When my H has tried to call her out on things, she flips it and makes him seem wrong/mean, etc. I really don't see her changing.
Also, @lazerus24, good to know what you really think of me!
She basically said that even though we can hope for people to change, we shouldn't bank on it or expect it. I understand that idea, as much as it sucks. Mil is basically the exact same as her mother- cold, unloving, and seemingly uninterested in being a mom. She talks terribly of her own mother, yet has no idea that she acts the same. Her family calls her by her mothers name jokingly.
When my H has tried to call her out on things, she flips it and makes him seem wrong/mean, etc. I really don't see her changing.
Also, @lazerus24, good to know what you really think of me!
well I didn't expect therapy for you or your dh to change her, lol. But therapy should help you and dh come up with ways to change your behaviors with her. Cutting her out or letting her KOKO with the two of you are not the only options, was my point. I'd expect the therapist to have ideas for the both of you for how to manage your own behaviors to minimize the impact she's got on your life.
I think therapy has helped him with his interactions with his mom. I agree his therapy isn't changing her, though it would be nice
He has accepted that she isn't going to be the mom he wishes she would be, and I think that's a big step.
I also think becoming a parent brought out a lot of these feelings, bc he would look at C, who he loves so so much, and wonder how his mom never showed him any love. It's heartbreaking.
well I didn't expect therapy for you or your dh to change her, lol. But therapy should help you and dh come up with ways to change your behaviors with her. Cutting her out or letting her KOKO with the two of you are not the only options, was my point. I'd expect the therapist to have ideas for the both of you for how to manage your own behaviors to minimize the impact she's got on your life.
I think therapy has helped him with his interactions with his mom. I agree his therapy isn't changing her, though it would be nice
He has accepted that she isn't going to be the mom he wishes she would be, and I think that's a big step.
I also think becoming a parent brought out a lot of these feelings, bc he would look at C, who he loves so so much, and wonder how his mom never showed him any love. It's heartbreaking.
Ok, I want to apologize. I have never had any problem with you in the past and I don't think you're a c*nt. I just thought your post where you came to the defense of the weight shaming sister and told everyone to get a grip was odd.... and then when you said you'd told your H to lose weight I wondered whether his Mom was upset with you for saying that to her son and that's why she doesn't like you. It doesn't sound like that's the case at all so I apologize.