Flameful.

[dowagercountess]

This is truly flameful, I am sure.

I generally think Karma is a good mom, but I am completely weirded out at her explaining the miracle day thing to a little one. It just doesn't seem like something he needs to think about right now.

[Deleted]

I totally agree.

[iamgrace]

What's this? I missed it.

[gozf]

I'm with you on this.

[karmasabiotch]

I just more or less tell him that he is a miracle because he stayed in my tummy when the Dr. wasn't sure that he was going to be able to. I don't get into the bloody details with him. I think I said I tell him in an age appropriate way? If not I meant to say that.

I don't think that's flameworthy?

[dowagercountess]

But why does he even need to think about that? Why give him such a scary thing to contemplate? What happens when he sees a pregnant woman?

It just seems like a box of worms. I can totally see explaining it to him when he is older and how wonderful it is, but for now it just seems like a lot to me.

[karmasabiotch]

He turned Four three weeks ago.

I also ask him why he took so long to get into my tummy and he tells me it's because he was building our house and playing with cars.

I assure you despite my crazy factor it doesn't spill into my parenting of him.

[emsumm]

That doesn't seem so bad to me *shrugs* It's just part of his story. Unless I'm missing something huge, sure, it's extraneous info, but it doesn't sound like it's a crazy overshare or anything.

[emsumm]

Jul 18, 2012 14:03:45 GMT -5 toledo said:

Molly's not even three, and we've talked to her about being in the hospital for a while when she was born, and how she came out of my tummy too early.

She doesn't seem scarred.

I love the name Molly It's sweet and spunky.
Also - I've told the girls they lived in my tummy together. I mean, it's a part of them, right? I doubt any of us are saying shit like "AND YOU ALMOST DIED!" It's natural to gradually share bits of info about your kids to them. I think?

[karmasabiotch]

He isn't scared of pg women and he loves babies. He knows we tried hard to get him "into my tummy". It's part of his story and he's learning to be proud of it which is the point of my AW post.

He also knows that his 18 year old twin cousins were conceived in a pitri dish at a Dr. office. He doesn't understand what it means but he likes asking them about it. My neice and nephew are proud of their story. They want to take their petri dish with them to U of M in the fall. My Sister has always been honest with them and I followed her lead.

[missyny]

I don't think it's bad at all. I think it gives her son the knowledge of just how wanted and special he is to his parents. Plain and simple. I don't think it's a beginning to anything more than just that.

[mamasaurus]

Jul 18, 2012 14:03:45 GMT -5 toledo said:

Molly's not even three, and we've talked to her about being in the hospital for a while when she was born, and how she came out of my tummy too early.

She doesn't seem scarred.

I was a preemie and my mother didn't say anything to me about it, but I did gather from other conversations that she and I didn't come home from the hospital for a while. I thought it was normal so when I saw her hospital bag for my sister's birth (when I was 10), I was like, "Hey mom, you want me to help you finish packing? That's only enough clothes for three days!"

Kids catch on about this stuff, especially if you talk to other adults about it in their presence. I do think explaining things in an age-appropriate way, like what Toledo is talking about, is the best way to go about it. Otherwise, they will probably just fill in the gaps themselves, probably incorrectly.

[imoan]

I just don't see what him knowing accomplishes. Yeah, I could see when he's older and wants to know more in-depth info about the day he was born. But unless you're trying to explain being adopted or something... I just don't know if I see the point.

[dowagercountess]

Kids interpret stuff weirdly all the time. We have posts about it here. And I do not think explaining to a kid how he almost died but didn't is the same as explaining a preemie birth, or even that it took a while to conceive.

[karmasabiotch]

I can assure you he doesn't feel like that at all. He feels special and loved just the way that every child should.

[melindafelinda]

This is the dumbest thing to argue about ever. I wish I could remember what it was about before I keep opening it and thinking "oh, a new flameful."

[dowagercountess]

Jul 18, 2012 14:25:00 GMT -5 imoan said:

I just don't see what him knowing accomplishes. Yeah, I could see when he's older and wants to know more in-depth info about the day he was born. But unless you're trying to explain being adopted or something... I just don't know if I see the point.

Exactly.

[sprky79]

Meh. I give this about a 2.5 out of 10 on the weird shit parents do meter.

[melindafelinda]

Fuck.

[dowagercountess]

Well post something flameful, Melinda!

[partiallysunny]

As long as karma isn't going over board and keeping her kid in a bubble because he's so special, I'm okay with it.

[imoan]

Jul 18, 2012 14:26:35 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

He feels special and loved just the way that every child should.

Thank you for the "the way every child should". missyny's response was rubbing me the wrong way- and your addition to that sentiment kind of talked me off my side-eyeing ledge.

[karmasabiotch]

He doesn't understand death. He thinks his Grandma died because she fell into the hole at the cemetary.

This has totally got turned around somehow. He doesn't know he almost died. He knows he is a miracle. He knows he stayed in my tummy until the Dr. said it was time to come out. I celebrate the positive. That was the point of my AW. He talks about Miracle Day. It's sweet and cute and there really isn't anything flameworth about me doing that with him.

[Deleted]

ok.

[karmasabiotch]

Can I just do an end of replies?

I post things much more flameworthy that this on a weekly basis.

[hbear]

I also didn't read the original post, but from what I gather, it seems like NBD.

And anyway, kids LOVE to hear stories about then they born. They could listen to those stories over and over. There's a comfort in hearing those stories, and how much they were wanted.

Sounds like Miracle Day is a sweet notion.

[eightangryreindeer]

Is anyone else cracking up at 'he thinks she died because she fell in a hole at the cemetary'?

[snipsnsnails]

Worms come in boxes?

[dowagercountess]

[snipsnsnails]

Touche!