Post by karinothing on Jul 19, 2012 9:47:04 GMT -5
Umm yeah I would not leave my DS at home overnight. DH can't even get him to settle down when he wakes up at night (he throws himself back, screams, and hits DH) until I come in the room.
I also don't know anyone that would have the energy to get up multiple times at night and battle the baby.
ETA: I don't judge others that do this, I just personally don't feel comfortable.
ETA2: Also, if you are still nursing overnight, wouldn't you have to pump over night when you go away? Or just pump in general when you are away? All of that just sounds soo annoying to me ha ha.
DS is a good sleeper. I left him overnight at ) months for a wedding, & he was fine, slept through the night. I was a wreck & up worrying, so he did better than me! We also left him with my mother who is like his 3rd parent, watches him everyday while I work, & has spent more time with him than anyone besides me & dh since birth. I would not have left him with just anyone.
I guess I have left him overnight with my sister. She was staying with me and I was losing my shit from lack of sleep, so I left and she kept him from 11 pm to 7 am. That was at 8 months.
But she is young, has kids that slept like crap so she knew what she was volunteering for, and it was her fault I was getting no sleep.
DS still wakes once on a good night (and several times right now when he's sick). I think he's to the point now where Grandma could get him back to sleep, but at 6 months there was no way.
Meh - Either the grandparents will learn that getting up in the night is harder than they remember, or you will learn that you're not the only one who can do it.
Either way, you get a night off. Still good!
I'm a firm believer that it's important to have help you can count on and that it's a good idea for babies to start staying the night with a competent caregiver when it's harder for the parents than it is for the baby!
I had an emergency hospital stay when DD1 was little and it was such a relief to know she'd be just fine staying with grandparents because she had done it regularly and enjoyed it.
Post by biscoffcookies on Jul 19, 2012 10:05:08 GMT -5
DD is 7.5 months, and she is just now getting to the point that I would be okay leaving her overnight She was a TERRIBLE sleeper.
My mom took her overnight for a couple nights when we visited when DD was about 4 months. I needed to get sleep but even so I felt horribly guilty about the sleep I knew my mom was missing. The only reason I let her do it was because my sleep deprivation had hit a critical point and my mom basically demanded I hand her over so I could get more than a few hours.
Up until now, I didn't even feel comfortable getting a sitter to watch her after she went to bed (which she does around 6) so that we could go out to dinner or something because she often was waking at the 45 minute mark (and occasionally 2 or 3 more times more times after that, all in the first few hours of the night). Now the those wakings are much reduced and when she does wake she goes back to sleep pretty fast, but before she would cry for 5-30 minutes, and I felt bad making someone deal with that.
Honestly, I can't remember. At that age, he probably woke up at least once a night. But he's always been an overall good sleeper and my parents watch him 2 days a week (back then too) and were very comfortable with him and his sleep.
H was not STTN at 6 months and we left him for the weekend. Everyone survived - my mom knew what to expect of him, sleep-wise and he actually did better with her than he does with us.
Mine first one sttn at 12 weeks. He still woke up around 5 then I think though. We didn't leave him for an overnight until around 10 months. I was breastfeeding and it did sick having to pump while away. I had a good freezers stash though and just pumped and dumped so I would not have to deal with transporting milk, plus I had a few cocktails.
My mom is like the baby whisperer though. Lol. She actually used to have a job where she took care of a group of special needs infants, and a lot of them needed to be rocked or held most of the night. She stayed with us and helped with night waking and rocking anyway when DS1 was little. I wouldn't trust a baby that little with most people though.
Post by sewpinkgal on Jul 19, 2012 10:57:30 GMT -5
At 6m J was still up ~2-3 times a night (sometimes more), but he went right back to sleep after eating. Not pleasant for me, but it wouldn't have hurt either one of us to have someone else there overnight to deal with it.
My MIL actually commented that "I have him on such a good routine, it was pretty easy to follow his cues and take care of him." This is kind of hilarious to me because I don't feel like we have anything resembling a strict schedule, but I guess the loose routine we do follow worked well for her.
In terms of baby-proofing, their house isn't completely baby-proofed either, but they watch him and it's been fine. We're actually looking to do another 2 night trip in February since this one went so well.
My DD sleeps like the dead. I haven't left her overnight yet, but I'm sure I could. I'm much less comfortable with leaving her with someone else during the day or for bedtime than overnight. Nothing happens overnight in our house (except if she's sick/teething).
ETA2: Also, if you are still nursing overnight, wouldn't you have to pump over night when you go away? Or just pump in general when you are away? All of that just sounds soo annoying to me ha ha.
Yes. I was used to it, as I EP'd for 3 months, and then had to pump 3-4x a day when I was working anyway. It was NBD.
I've pumped in some pretty odd places. A Gap fitting room. In my car more times than I can count. In Vegas. In Atlantic City. In a conference room while on break during a deposition. You do what you have to do.
MIL is taking DS overnight next month when we go to a wedding. He'll be 7.5 months. It'll be the first time leaving him overnight. I think he'll do good. He's a great sleeper and has been STTN for a couple months now.
ETA2: Also, if you are still nursing overnight, wouldn't you have to pump over night when you go away? Or just pump in general when you are away? All of that just sounds soo annoying to me ha ha.
Yes. I was used to it, as I EP'd for 3 months, and then had to pump 3-4x a day when I was working anyway. It was NBD.
I've pumped in some pretty odd places. A Gap fitting room. In my car more times than I can count. In Vegas. In Atlantic City. In a conference room while on break during a deposition. You do what you have to do.
Yeah, but pumping never really bothered me. I've pumped in the gym locker room (and got high fives from a lot of other moms there), the car, restaurant parking lots, you name it. Thank god for a nursing cover and a pump that would travel.
At that age DS woke up one time per night typically but went back to sleep after his bottle. I don't think it's too much to expect my mom or sister to handle that if they are OK with watching him.
I EP'ed and supplemented from the time I returned to work so no issues there.
I guess since the OP in that thread put it out there as an option I assumed her family had volunteered and didn't have a medical or other reason that it would be too hard to do. For example, I'd leave DS with the IL's and my only concern would be that they feed him junk and let him stay up too late. But I could not leave him with my parents because they both have health issues that making watching a kid very hard.
Plus it's 3.5 hours away over one night, not a week long trip to Europe.
Post by theintended on Jul 19, 2012 11:31:36 GMT -5
I had a similar experience. My daughter was a horrible sleeper; her energy level approached crazed-ape during her waking hours; I was breastfeeding and didn't feel like getting away but still having to pump would be worth it; and for various reasons wouldn't have asked either of our parents to deal with all of that. But she stays with my parents pretty happily now that she's older.
Post by vanillacourage on Jul 19, 2012 11:42:04 GMT -5
We are about to leave DS2 for the first time next weekend - all weekend, one night with each mom. He's 3.5 months still gets up once/night and they'll also have my 4 year old. Suckers! Lol. I cannot wait, mama needs a break.
Seriously though, it's one night and they love us and don't care about getting crappy sleep that night since they know how much we need to get away. No biggie.
ETA2: Also, if you are still nursing overnight, wouldn't you have to pump over night when you go away? Or just pump in general when you are away? All of that just sounds soo annoying to me ha ha.
Yes. I was used to it, as I EP'd for 3 months, and then had to pump 3-4x a day when I was working anyway. It was NBD.
I've pumped in some pretty odd places. A Gap fitting room. In my car more times than I can count. In Vegas. In Atlantic City. In a conference room while on break during a deposition. You do what you have to do.
Once, in an emergency situation, I pumped in the Denver airport. Not in the bathroom, but at an actual gate. My DH is still kind of horrified by it.
My ds was not STTN at that age and my dd was. Both grandparents don't mind, they have said that if they have to get up it is just a night or two and they don't mind.
My parents are in their 70s. They still can't even do a full day with DD, much less multiple days. The few times they've done any kind of babysitting, they are absolutely exhausted. There's no way in hell they would have been up for doing the baby-who-can't-even-talk-and-wakes-up-frequently thing.
My ILs are a little better energy-wise, but never felt comfortable with bottles and diaper-changing, so we didn't leave DD alone with them until she was fully weaned and fully potty trained.
So, um, I opened this thread even though I am not your target audience.
We left A for with my mom for two days/one night at just under 6 mos and will leave him again with ILs for two nights at probably 9 mos-ish. He's up usually once/night, sometimes up to 3 - almost always he eats and goes right back down. My mom didn't have a problem with it.
Bb, my kid is just like yours and I still don't feel comfortable leaving her for the caretakers sake. My parents kept her for a full day and when I got home at 5, my sister was there too. I'm honestly not trying to be dramatic or a martyr, I just don't think that my parents are ready. My mom agrees.
I didn't answer, but my kid is an awesome sleeper. And even when she's had off nights, she is a rock star for whoever's taking care of her. My parents put her to bed when they last visited and said it was the easiest thing ever.
Post by whitepicketfence on Jul 19, 2012 17:22:11 GMT -5
We're leaving the girls overnight for the first time this weekend (only Saturday night) and my youngest is 11 months old. She's teething so she's been waking up at least 2x a night but my MIL volunteered to watch them so she knows what she's getting herself into, LOL.
I didn't feel right about leaving the girls with anyone overnight for a long time because neither one of them were great sleepers and I felt badly leaving anyone with that kind of responsibility. It's been several years since DH and I have gotten away though so we really needed at least one night together sans kiddos..