I'm angry and I want to cry

[Deleted]

My cw confronted me in my office at lunch and accused me of having an eating disorder. She went on about how I lost my pregnancy weight and she never sees me eat. When I pointed out that I eat my breakfast every morning at my desk and I was EATING LUNCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, she kind of backtracked and said it was just her motherly instinct talking.

I'm so offended. Plus, she was super aggressive in her approach, so I feel like it was coming from an angle of "the only way you could have lost weight was doing something fucked up to your body" instead of a place of concern. I DID do a pretty strict diet from January until the end of March that was about 1200 calories a day, but I upped it when I started working out and because I felt like it was really toeing the line on healthy after a point. I try to get 1500-1600 calories a day, and I eat whatever the hell I want on the weekends. 

I shouldn't even have to justify this. The weight loss was gradual, it didn't just fall off. I'm 137 lbs. at 5'4. I have a healthy BMI. I'm 26. I was active before I was pregnant, I worked my way up to being active afterwards. I still have a muffin top that requires Spanx. 

I want to cry and I also want to punch a wall. I have had to deal with eating disorders in the past, and that's part of why I tried SO HARD to be realistic about everything my body was going through during pregnancy and after. I feel...discredited? And knowing this cw, now I'm concerned about her talking about this to other cws, and that ups my rage 110%. 

I want to go home. 

[calledout]

She's jealous and insecure.

[flex]

Did your cw know you at the time when you were struggling with an eating disorder?

[Deleted]

1.) HR. Immediately. Crossed the fucking line.
2.) Give me your work address so I can come ROUNDHOUSE KICK HER TO THE FUCKING FACE AND THEN BEAT HER WITH A TUBESOCK FULL OF ORANGES.


Now that right there is a straight up cunt.

[elleblue]

I'm sorry Betty. That heifer should have minded her own business. Pay no attention to her comments (easier said than done, I know). 

[Deleted]

Oh god. I'm sorry. She is horrible.

You know yourself and you know that you are doing this right. Don't let her fucked up opinion matter.

[Deleted]

Jun 25, 2014 13:56:28 GMT -5 flex said:

Did your cw know you at the time when you were struggling with an eating disorder?

No, no one at my company knows. 

[TC]

What the fuuuuck. A coworker did this? Are you serious? At work? OMG. That is so out of line it's not even funny. She is a special kind of off kilter.

[Deleted]

Don't go home - go to HR. This is total bullshit.

[Deleted]

She needs to STFU. I don't understand why some people think it's ok to comment on others weight, size, etc. Sorry she upset you.

[snipsnsnails]

I'm sorry, Betty. Try to shake it off (not easy ) knowing that you've worked hard and smart about your approach to health this year.

[urbancowgirl]

I'm sorry, Betty. ((Hugs))

[lostlenore]

What?! That is insane that she had the nerve to confront you like that! I am so sorry!

[flex]

Jun 25, 2014 13:57:18 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

Jun 25, 2014 13:56:28 GMT -5 flex said:

Did your cw know you at the time when you were struggling with an eating disorder?

No, no one at my company knows. 

Then I wonder why she's so hypersensitive about YOUR eating habits.  Maybe she has an ED?

At any rate, don't let it get to you and report it to HR.

[fuckyourcouch]

Oh fuck her. I will cut a bitch.

[Saint Monica]

((betty))

[Deleted]

I don't even know what I would say to HR. I feel paralyzed.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Shut that shit down. None of it is her business and she has no right to talk to you like that. I'd call her back into your office and tell her in no uncertain terms that none of it is her business. Fuck her. And then call HR.

[karmasabiotch]

Go to HR. She needs to be told to mind her own business. I'm so sorry.

[circa1978]

I hate her. You don't have to justify your weight, your BMI or your eating to this person, or to us for that matter. She's totally out of line.

[prettyinpink]

Seriously crossed a line! Go to HR now. That was rude and totally uncalled for. Hugs Betty.

[shell24]

You didn't need to include any info about your weight, height, eating habits...none of it matters.

I hope you told her to mind her own business. She sounds like an overbearing know it all and I'd be filing an HR complaint. Let them have the talk with her.

It sounds like you're doing great. Don't let what she said affect you (she probably never lost her baby weight at all and is jealous!)

[flex]

On second thought, talk to her first before going to HR??

[iamali]

Have you contacted HR yet?

That is rude and uncalled for.

[Deleted]

Jun 25, 2014 13:59:03 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

I don't even know what I would say to HR. I feel paralyzed.

Tell them basically what you told us. Especially about fearing she'll spread rumors about this to other coworkers.

[Deleted]

Don't worry about her.

It sounds like your previous struggles have made you sensitive to her level of bullshittery.

She could have been well meaning, she could have her own disordered eating or is just a hater.

Anecdote: I once worked with a very overweight woman (she was in her 30s or so, I was about 20) corner me in a stack of medical files and tell me that I needed to go home and eat a cheeseburger, and she meant it.

Nevermind that I was just naturally thin (AND YOUNG), and I was always eating the catered lunches at work. (they were FREE).

Some people project their own unhappiness unto others. It might make her feel better to think you are going to fail on some crash diet.
And for that she is a crazy bitch. At the very least, she's a nosy/misinformed bitch.

I'd ignore.

[pugz]

omg. Do you feel comfortable going to HR? What she did was definitely "hostile work environment" behavior

[miniroller]

I can't believe you have to deal with this BS & I'm so sorry you had to listen to her bitchass. Hugs! Many many hugs!!

[ginap]

What the actual fuck is wrong with her. I would have a chat with HR immediately and avoid her at all costs from now on. I'm so sorry she said that to you.

[laterbloomer]

I'm 137 lbs. at 5'4.

She's full of shit. That is a great size for your height.