Let's say you really were struggling with an eating disorder and you no one reached out to help you, no one expressed concern...that's not good either. I think it took a lot for her to come to you. Of course, I don't know how caring of a conversation it was, you mentioned she said motherly instinct which sounds good but super aggressive sounds bad...your perceptions are what matters here and it sounds like it didn't come from a helpful place...
It wasn't a caring conversation. It was snark wrapped up in condescension with a side of never appropriate ever.
And I don't really think it took a lot for her to come to me.
Let's say you really were struggling with an eating disorder and you no one reached out to help you, no one expressed concern...that's not good either. I think it took a lot for her to come to you. Of course, I don't know how caring of a conversation it was, you mentioned she said motherly instinct which sounds good but super aggressive sounds bad...your perceptions are what matters here and it sounds like it didn't come from a helpful place...
My cw confronted me in my office at lunch and accused me of having an eating disorder.
I'm so offended. Plus, she was super aggressive in her approach, so I feel like it was coming from an angle of "the only way you could have lost weight was doing something fucked up to your body" instead of a place of concern.
I shouldn't even have to justify this. The weight loss was gradual, it didn't just fall off. I'm 137 lbs. at 5'4. I have a healthy BMI.
And knowing this cw, now I'm concerned about her talking about this to other cws
Let's say you really were struggling with an eating disorder and you no one reached out to help you, no one expressed concern...that's not good either. I think it took a lot for her to come to you. Of course, I don't know how caring of a conversation it was, you mentioned she said motherly instinct which sounds good but super aggressive sounds bad...your perceptions are what matters here and it sounds like it didn't come from a helpful place...
It wasn't a caring conversation. It was snark wrapped up in condescension with a side of never appropriate ever.
And I don't really think it took a lot for her to come to me.
I understand, I'm glad you're going to HR. I think this will be her "defense" so make sure you talk about how she made you feel and how inappropriate it was and she could have approached in you a caring way if she was concerned but did it in a condescending way. Like there is a right way and a wrong way to approach someone and she completely did it the wrong way and that is not something you should have to tolerate in the workplace.
Listen. My DH say I'd know when I had lost enough weight when bitches would start saying shit like that. So, feel proud you've arrived. You don't have to justify anything to her or us. Smile inside and move on. You know you got here the right way and it should make you feel proud. That's it.
And hugs while you get there.
THis is a whole other WTF statement.
Yeah, I don't understand this either. Comments from "bitches" or anyone shouldn't be anyone's gauge for feeling proud. Life would be miserable if you live this way. Bitches are going to comment no matter what.
It wasn't a caring conversation. It was snark wrapped up in condescension with a side of never appropriate ever.
And I don't really think it took a lot for her to come to me.
I understand, I'm glad you're going to HR. I think this will be her "defense" so make sure you talk about how she made you feel and how inappropriate it was and she could have approached in you a caring way if she was concerned but did it in a condescending way. Like there is a right way and a wrong way to approach someone and she completely did it the wrong way and that is not something you should have to tolerate in the workplace.
No No No
There is no "right way" to approach a coworker.
Your job at work is TO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
No judging of others weight, no interventions. Just do your fucking job. That's it.
enough...it's just another perspective...I am in agreement with you guys, not the enemy here. She needs to look out for herself and I, like everyone, am supporting that. But sometimes coworkers are the ones to notice when something is wrong and they can be helpful. OP has made it clear that is not what is happening here. I do think that coworkers look out for one another and can show concern appropriately (and I hear you when you say you disagree with that but that's where I'm coming from)
I hear you and I think where you're coming from is a stupid, rude place. While you think you might be doing something saintly, its none of your damn business. KOKO
enough...it's just another perspective...I am in agreement with you guys, not the enemy here. She needs to look out for herself and I, like everyone, am supporting that. But sometimes coworkers are the ones to notice when something is wrong and they can be helpful. OP has made it clear that is not what is happening here. I do think that coworkers look out for one another and can show concern appropriately (and I hear you when you say you disagree with that but that's where I'm coming from)
You need to put down the shovel. Please read the bolded again. It is NEVER okay for your coworker to say anything about this. It is their job to be fucking PROFESSIONAL and NEVER EVER EVER comment on your weight, appearance, etc.
omg Betty I'm sorry. She sounds like an awful person and I guarantee you that this was more about her than about you. I'm glad you're getting HR involved, and I hope she's reprimanded for this. And if you'd rather never speak to her again, that's totally understandable, but a little part of me wants you to call her back into your office and tell her that what she said is not just wrong, but inappropriate, and she better never, ever, EVER, say one word to you about anything non-work related again. EVER. And then stand up and point to your office door. lol.
Listen. My DH say I'd know when I had lost enough weight when bitches would start saying shit like that. So, feel proud you've arrived. You don't have to justify anything to her or us. Smile inside and move on. You know you got here the right way and it should make you feel proud. That's it.
And hugs while you get there.
Lost enough weight? Yikes. That sort of makes me uncomfortable.
Betty, that woman is a horrible human being. It is never okay to say something like that at work. Good grief.
And yes, there are a few "wtf" comments in here. Bitches will start saying stuff? You should be proud? It took a lot for her to come to you? Your reaction is puzzling? omfg. NO.