I would have hired a pro photog & not an ex-friend who did an ok but not spectacular job. Other than that, I really love everything we did.
Side note: 6 years ago when I got married they didn't do many weddings but since then apparently word's gotten out & they've jacked the price up big time, like quadrupled the price.
More casual - Less formal wedding & bridesmaid dresses, no tuxes - I would have gone for a more photojournalistic photographer and shortened the cocktail hour stuff - I would not do child-free. Very few guests had kids anyway and it just caused stupid tension with my cousin.
Post by rachelgreen on Jul 2, 2014 11:32:36 GMT -5
So many things. We had originally booked a destination wedding (not expecting anyone else to come. I just dreamed of being the barefoot on the beach bride) and planned on having a fun backyard party when we came back. We ended up having a 200 guest formal affair back home because I caved into family demands vs my own desires. I guess that tends to happen when you're a beebee bride.
I also really regret my wedding party choices. I barely talk to one of my MOHs anymore (she went the uber-Jesus conservative route) and I am apparently not important enough to any of my step-sibs to be in their weddings that have happened since mine. Oh well. I really should have had two of my cousins in the wedding party but didn't. I feel bad about that still.
At least I still love my 07.07.07 date. 7 years on Monday!
I would have gone with a different dress. I liked my dress, but didn't love it. Used a smaller, cheaper venue and just invited fewer people. We were only a few people short of the smaller venue anyway. I wouldn't have registered for china.
My wedding as it was--I would have just chosen a different make up artist, worked out a little more beforehand and ordered more food. But it was pretty awesome.
Redoing it? I would rent out a whole section of nice cabins at a lake for several days or a week, stock everyone's fridges with booze and food and have fun. That seems like a way more fun way to spend $12k.
I would change quite a bit. I was really young when I got married, and while I don't regret having done so at all my taste is much more developed now. I also feel like our relationship has so much more personality now, if that makes sense. It would be really fun to plan a party about us now, 6 years into marriage, when we've found more foods we love together, places we love to go together, etc. etc. But I suppose that will just continue to be true as time goes on. Maybe we'll just have an incredibly 50th anniversary party.
I would love to have had a different dress. The first place I went to the sales lady told me I needed to stick to a-line. I foolishly believed her, and never even tried on another silhouette. I regret that.
Also, I would have handled my mother-in-law differently. She insisted on inviting tons of her friends, I would now know to put my foot down on that. She also insisted she make our wedding cake. I tried everything I could think of to gracefully say no, but nothing worked. I worried about our relationship being ruined over it, so eventually gave up. Knowing now that our relationship was never going to be super close, I would have worried less about that and politely just told her no. Especially after seeing my sister-in-law telling her no on making the cake for her wedding last summer.
ETA - I also have this secret dream of doing a sort of vow-renewal of sorts. We were married in a very religious ceremony, and while I don't necessarily regret that my thoughts about religion have evolved a lot over the past few years. We didn't write our own vows, and I now have this dream of going somewhere beautiful together - just the two of us, and saying vows out loud to each other. For no other reason than it would be romantic and I wish we had done that at the time.
we had an outdoor wedding/reception in the middle of august in DC. we lucked out BIG TIME with the weather. in that it was actually comfortable to sit outside and no one looks like they are melting in the pictures (except for my 9yo cousin from busting so many sweet moves on the dance floor).
Really, only a different photographer (she was going through a custody battle and did NOT bring her A game. I didn't even get a picture of just me and my mom, despite it being on the must have list.), perhaps a people wrangler/stage manager, and had a bridal party of the people I liked and not people to whom I felt an obligation.
I would change everything, except DH of course. We were really young and got pushed around by family for a lot of the planning process so between that and just changing tastes, I'd want a different wedding gown, different BM dresses, different flowers, a different cake, different food, a different venue, a different service... pretty much everything!
I am totes doing a big anniversary b/c my cake was terrible and it made me really sad. it tasted amazing, but looked awful. I sent the baker a picture of what I wanted and the result was awful. Really, really ugly. I was upset.
Also, I would have done more ceremony decorating than I did.
I love my wedding but it was 8 years ago and my tastes have changed. Now we'd do a much smaller wedding but with really fancy food and wine. Probably in Napa or something. We definitely would not be getting married in a church like we did.
First, I will say, that Dh and I absolutely LOVED our wedding. We had a blast and really didn't have many/any regrets. To nitpick, or in deep reflection, two things come to mind. 1. Would have skipped the big cake cutting photo op. Granted, it only took 5-10 minutes, but our band was so much fun, I would have preferred 5-10 more minutes of dancing and music. 2. Would have bought DH either his tux and/or a really nice, elegant suit. Not that he looked ugly or anything, and his rental tux looked great, but like my wedding dress, he's come to really appreciate a well made and tailored suit or tux. He looks good dressed up, and unlike my wedding dress, he very easily could re-wear that investment.
Having said all that, we wouldn't plan the same wedding today that we did then. Our friends are different now (we've since moved, so we've got new friends/lost touch with others--thankfully, we don't have any regrets about the people that did attend, but the starting list would be different), and while we both LOVE weddings (especially the over-the-top NY weddings like we had) I can also very much see us deciding a nice 10 day trip to Italy with a small group of our CLOSEST friends and family might be an even exchange.
Post by mainelyfoolish on Jul 2, 2014 12:35:51 GMT -5
I would have let the open bar go the whole reception. {zips up flame retardant suit} We were worried about costs getting out of control, so we only had an open bar during the cocktail hour. After the lunch started, it converted to a cash bar. I didn't think most people would even notice, since we had a Sunday lunch reception and served a champagne toast with lunch. After the reception was over, our bar tab from the cocktail hour was much lower than anticipated; we could have afforded to keep the bar open.
I also would have put on sunscreen before driving around town in my low-cut dress in a convertible. Ouch.
I would have the wedding I really wanted in the first place. Rent a house in Nantucket and have a big clambake with 25-50 of my closest friends and family.
I think I wouldn't have been so cheap. But that's easy to say looking back. We chose a venue that was okay, allowed us to bring our own catering and booze which saved us some major $$$ but I'd do it differently now. I wouldn't have DIY-Ed so much. I wouldn't have invited so many people either.
Post by schitzengiggles on Jul 2, 2014 12:51:19 GMT -5
My BFF would have been the MOH instead of being just a guest(we've been friends for 26 years, but when I got married it happened to be during a very short time frame where we grew apart a little, mostly due to her controlling then-boyfriend).
Different photographer. We used a friend of DH, who did have a photography business but was just starting out. He did it for free, as a "wedding gift". The pictures are just okay...and we aren't really even friends with him anymore because he and I had a falling out. Because he is a jerk with disgusting views on many things I feel strongly about, and he has no concept of what a respectful debate is. Ahem. Anyhow. So really it's not so much about the picture quality (though it wasn't great) but more that I now wish he hadn't been a part of it at all. LOL
Otherwise, I would not change anything. The size, location, food, budget, my dress....no regrets!
I'm having my second wedding next month-yay! Though I originally didn't go in ever thinking I'd have to plan another, but that means I get to re-do a few things.
1. Destination wedding in Maui with a very small group. 2. Not spending alot of my dress. My first dress was over 5k. My dress this time? under $500 including alternations! 3. Better photographer. She's actually normally double what I spent in the first place, but luckily, she's cutting me a killer deal since i know her from the local industry and we're having a small destination wedding (photographers LOVE to travel and will often cut a deal just to be able to travel there!) 4. NOT GETTING FLOWERS! I may put together a local bouqet, just as I think it will look pretty in pictures, but otherwise, don't need to bother with them. 5. Buying a local bakery cake. 6. just not caring about alot of things! I'm really so much less stressed!
to make it MM: STICKING TO OUR BUDGET!!!! My parents are helping out a (small) bit, but I told my mom we have $XX amount and we're not going over, so if she insists on something, she needs to pay for it. I actually didn't except them to put anything towards it, as they paid for my first (big and fancy) wedding, but they insisted. We're also going CASH only! Nothing on credit cards (except a deposit I had to put on there, which I'll pay off next month in full)
WE are having a bigger "wedding celebration" locally in the fall, to celebrate with a bigger crowd of friends and family back home. We're still getting that catered (because I don't want to bother with cooking, cleanup, etc.), but buffet style, paper plates, etc. Still going with a DJ (for the sound system mostly) but he's new to the business, so he's really cheap. (he could suck, but whatever!) But SO MUCH MORE casual than having a real "reception"...
Overall, alot less drama this time, with the exception of a little family drama which seems to be inevitable!
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jul 2, 2014 13:04:44 GMT -5
I would change only minor things - different DJ or a band like H wanted, more flattering/comfortable BM dresses, stayed at the hotel next door instead of one needing a limo ride.