Intro

[btay]

I am here because my stbxh is a recovering alcoholic.  He was actively drinking when we met, and around 6 months of dating entered rehab because he was reported by his doctor (he is an RN).  In order to keep his license he completed treatment and 4 years of random urine screens.  During this time he maintained sobriety, we got married, bought a house, and started trying to have kids.   We had a lot of difficulty getting pregnant due to my PCOS so we went through fertility treatments, including one round of IVF with zero success.  Right around the time of the failed IVF he started drinking again to cope, and it quickly got to a point where he was passing out at least twice a week, driving drunk, and pretty much locking himself in the garage every night with his beer.  After multiple suicide threats and one attempt, he finally entered in patient treatment for 45 days.  I did the family program at the treatment facility and have been attending a regular Al Anon meeting ever since.  About 6 months ago he told me that he no longer felt our marriage was right for him, so we are currently separated but get along great.  He is over a year sober and I am doing my best to bounce back from what I now realize was a pretty severe depression and working through my codependency issues.   My brother is also married to an addict who is an active user still so I have been doing my best to support him as best I can without pushing.

I am hoping that having a place with people who have all been there will be great to keep me focused on my recovery in between my weekly meetings.  

[pixelpassion]

Hi btay and gracie,

I'm here because my father and stepmother are alcoholics, and my brother has a history of substance abuse as well. My father comes from a legacy of alcoholics on his side of the family, and dealing with him is a struggle. I've posted about him on ML before, but what was most problematic growing up with him and dealing with him now is that alcohol exacerbates his abusive behavior. He was physically abusive when I was growing up and is what I would describe as an "emotional terrorist." I attended Al-Anon for 6 months, and still have my reader, but I stopped going once I moved. Honestly, I think this board is a great suggestion as I think that too many of us have loved ones that struggle with addiction. I see my role here as offering support to others, as I gave up on hoping for my father/stepmother to go into recovery long ago.

Other info about me, I'm currently a licensed therapist working with children 7-14 in a residential intensive mental and behavioral health setting. A lot of my clients have parents that are addicted to substances as well. I don't know if I could ever do straight up addictions work though, too close to home.

[btay]

Jul 2, 2014 22:38:34 GMT -5 @gracie6414 said:

Hi btay
I'll piggyback on your intro, I'm here to offer support. My mother was an alcoholic, rest in peace mom, and I hope to be able to bring the child/dependant perspective to the board. She came from a long line of alcoholics.

I am not sure what the decision was regarding combining addition and mental illness? My father has Huntingtons Disease (HD) and is fully symptomatic. Growing up with his psychosomatic reaction to his diagnosis was a hell of a ride. I've tested negative for the disease but the mental and emotional damage is already done. I suffer from mild depression and general anxiety, only recently diagnosed and under treatment which has been a really positive experience.

Hopefully I can provide some support to anyone currently "in it". I'm a pretty open book and have no qualms answering questions.

Also I'm Canadian.

I am a sucker for Canadians . I don't know a whole lot ( or anything ) about HD but I will be running off to google momentarily. My mother is a child of an alcoholic as well as I was talking to her recently about how much of her childhood issues found a way down to her kids. It truly is a family disease. Her Dad eventually found long term sobriety but she had one heck of a childhood.

[btay]

Jul 2, 2014 22:46:08 GMT -5 pixelpassion said:

Hi btay and gracie,

I'm here because my father and stepmother are alcoholics, and my brother has a history of substance abuse as well. My father comes from a legacy of alcoholics on his side of the family, and dealing with him is a struggle. I've posted about him on ML before, but what was most problematic growing up with him and dealing with him now is that alcohol exacerbates his abusive behavior. He was physically abusive when I was growing up and is what I would describe as an "emotional terrorist." I attended Al-Anon for 6 months, and still have my reader, but I stopped going once I moved. Honestly, I think this board is a great suggestion as I think that too many of us have loved ones that struggle with addiction. I see my role here as offering support to others, as I gave up on hoping for my father/stepmother to go into recovery long ago.

Other info about me, I'm currently a licensed therapist working with children 7-14 in a residential intensive mental and behavioral health setting. A lot of my clients have parents that are addicted to substances as well. I don't know if I could ever do straight up addictions work though, too close to home.

Hi I would love to pick your brain about work sometime. I did my undergrad in psychology with the intention of ending up in counseling but never did the graduate school. I am contemplating going back now and doing marriage/family counseling with a focus on addiction. My biggest fear is my inability to leave the work at work.

[lime]

Thanks for kicking this off btay.

Both of my parents were raised by alcoholics, and many of their siblings (families of 7 and 9 children) also turned to alcohol or drugs as adults.

My mom and dad both learned the unhealthy patterns associated with addiction and it took me until I was 30 to go to counseling to undo much of this.

Big hugs and BW to anyone struggling with this.

[howardandbear]

Hi ladies. I am 3 years separated/ 1 year post divorced from an addict/alcoholic. From the beginning I noticed x's drinking and pot habit. He quickly gave up alcohol and became pretty active in his own recovery. 7 years later we got married. He continued smoking pot claiming it helped with his anxiety. Truth was the moment he would try and stop smoking he would lose his job and sink into depression quickly. A few months after we got married he had surgery where he asked the dr to not prescribe pain meds. He left the hospital with a large jar of meds and six months later was in a 30 day treatment center (where he kicked his pot habit) He continued to do well until 2 years later and 6 weeks before dd was due. His brother offered him spice, the legal pot. The warning of, it only takes one time, was true. Six months later while trying to take care of a new born I went thru the process of having him committed to a mental hospital. He was diagnosed with paranoid delusions. His delusions were scary and dangerous so I fled with dd. to this day I don't know what happened to my belongings or my dogs. Divorcing him was extremely hard due to his mental illness. We still don't have a final custody arrangement. He calls/answers dd once every 45 days or so. He hasn't seen her since she was 13 months old (she's 3 and a half). He refuses to give up his right as a father and has never sent a penny nor will he go on disability. He was a great guy and now he is just like the crazy homeless guy on the street.

I've done alanon and I still read from the book but I don't get many chances to go. I'm constantly researching helpful tools in regards to Dd's future. All of xh's family are addicts. Only his mother is in recovery. He had aunts and uncles die due to addiction. His brother is in prison due to addiction. His other brother is strung out on pills. His father drinks and smokes everyday. I don't want that for dd. I want her to have a healthy take it or leave it approach to alcohol. I've never done any type of drug. Statistically speaking I don't know if she will be so lucky to avoid those genes.

[btay]

Jul 2, 2014 23:36:53 GMT -5 @gracie6414 said:

I won't lie. The talk won't go well.

But it is your house, and you are the adult! So when you look,at setting boundaries you need to identify what you will accept and what you won't.

You will not accept him bringing booze to your house and spending his time visiting at your house drunk/hungover. You also have to remember he is an adult too, so he may choose to drink over visit with you. Or he may choose not to hear you, and will show up next time with booze.

The boundary is that booze and dad are not allow at the tators house together. If he decides not to come over, fine. If he shows up with booze you turn him away. No drama, no yelling. Just "dad, we discussed this and I asked you not to bring booze for your visits. Please come back another weekend without any booze. Goodbye, I love you."

He may not come back, but that doesn't mean you (and K) don't ever see him. It means you make plans to meet elsewhere for the visit.

When you decide to put the boundary in place do so at a time that isn't hinged upon upcoming visits. Just a random Tuesday, call him and ask that for his future visits you request that he leave the goose (booze lol) at home. No drama, hopefully no tears (I know it's scary, I default to tears when I'm frustrated or feeling uncertain if I'll get hurt). Then go about a regular convo or hang up.

One of the boundaries I had to have with my dad was swearing and calling me names. I told him I wouldn't stand to be sworn at or called names and that if we were on the phone I'd hang up, if we were in person I would leave. I'd give him two warning on the phone then hang up and not answer any calls from him that day. In person I would give two warnings then leave. It wasn't fun. He resorted to calling me nearly 35 times in one day (from about 3pm to 10pm), I ignored all calls. He swore at my VM.

Boundaries are hard, but you reserve the right to expect certain things in your own house. Anyone that can't give you that respect can refrain from visiting the Tator homestead.

You can still love him and ask him not to bring booze or drink in your house. Just be prepared for either outcome.

This is very well said, boundaries are so hard and I can't imagine having to enforce them with a parent.

[lexxasaurus]

howardandbear - my X had previous drug problems but started spiraling back down as soon as he tried spice. It made him call 911 because he believed he was dying, he was paranoid, violent. I'm so sorry you went through that, I'm glad you got out safely.

[lexxasaurus]

Hi I'm Lexx and I'm an addict/alcoholic!

Haha. Seriously though I've been on both sides of the coin. I'm 6 months sober (as of Saturday) and have quite the obsessive love with alcohol and crystal meth (though I won't say no to anything. I joke that I'm an equal opportunity user.) The alcohol both made my anxiety unbearable and helped take it away so I stayed in that cycle for a long, long time.

However, two of my three serious relationships have been with addicts. I grew up in a dysfunctional household with a recovering alcoholic father who verbally abused my mother and occasionally hurt me. Watching them taught me how to have really terrible romances. The last one was years of verbal abuse, turned into serious physical violence. Lying, manipulating, gaslighting. He made me believe if only I were good enough, he'd stop. If I weren't so needy/bitchy/stuck up/whatever, he wouldn't HAVE to treat me like he did. I was a totally broken girl when I left him and I'm finally starting to feel fully whole and happy again.

[elenetxu]

Hello! Thanks for choosing to accept mental health issues on the board as well.

My DH has Borderline Personality Disorder. A few months ago, I finally convinced DH to go to a psychiatrist because his behavior was far from normal. I'm really glad I did because things have started to change. It all went downhill last year after he was diagnosed with sarcoidosis. He had always been "different", but I'm not sure whether the trigger was the stress of the disease or the high-dose steroids that they had him on. However, last year was hell. I gained 10 kilos (12 lbs) last year because I used food as my crutch.

The turning point was when I went away for work for a weekend and came back to find him totally out of it, as if he were completely drunk, saying he hadn't eaten nor done anything other than sleep. I'm not so sure he isn't using alcohol or pot behind my back when he's really anxious.

[crashgizmo]

I'll jump in over here as well. I'm usually on MM, but saw this new board.

My exH is an alcoholic/drug addict. We've been divorced for 6.5 years and I am remarried to a wonderful man with a healthy relationship with alcohol. My exH unfortunately spiraled out of control when I left him and ended up doing a few years in prison (off and on). He's now living with his mom and has been in recovery, but it's sporadic. We're on good terms now, but it was an ugly and turbulent marriage and a worse divorce. I went to Al-Anon for awhile but haven't gone lately. I've learned a lot from my first marriage and I think I can help with perspective for those who are going through it.

[mel]

I normally post on SO because well...I split from my ex about almost a year and a half ago and it's been quite the struggle to say the least. We share custody of our 2.5 year old DS and try to stay pleasant for the sake of the baby but that's not always the case.

Anyways, I'm 31 years old and have struggled with self injury since I was 16. I typically cut and sessions can be anywhere from 1-100. I always live by my rule of "never cut deep enough to need stitches"...for fear of getting caught. I am an RN so I know when to stop. My tool of choice is a scalpel. I typically cut on my legs since those can be hidden a little easier than elsewhere. I also abuse prescription drugs. I am not addicted but when I get super stressed out and cutting isn't enough then I typically will overdose (again not to the point of "getting caught"...typically 10-20 Xanax). I usually use Klonopin or Xanax. I was caught by a couple of close friends last year and ended up being placed on a 1013 (order of protection) and spending a week in the hospital. I see a psychiatrist that diagnosed me as bipolar and just seems to push meds. Currently I have: Adderall, Xanax, Klonopin, Seroquel, Abilify, and Effexor. My therapist seems to be helping as the time periods between sessions of cutting are lengthening but I highly doubt I will ever stop even though I would like to. But some days cutting and taking the meds are the only ways that I get through.

I'm glad to see this board as I've never really been open and honest with anyone about my issues except with my therapist. I've never even talked to anyone else struggling with addictions, not even in the psych hospital because I was too focused on getting out. I'm hoping to hear other's stories and gain some support and have a safe outlet for the difficult times.

[btay]

Jul 3, 2014 9:58:15 GMT -5 mel said:

I normally post on SO because well...I split from my ex about almost a year and a half ago and it's been quite the struggle to say the least. We share custody of our 2.5 year old DS and try to stay pleasant for the sake of the baby but that's not always the case.

Anyways, I'm 31 years old and have struggled with self injury since I was 16. I typically cut and sessions can be anywhere from 1-100. I always live by my rule of "never cut deep enough to need stitches"...for fear of getting caught. I am an RN so I know when to stop. My tool of choice is a scalpel. I typically cut on my legs since those can be hidden a little easier than elsewhere. I also abuse prescription drugs. I am not addicted but when I get super stressed out and cutting isn't enough then I typically will overdose (again not to the point of "getting caught"...typically 10-20 Xanax). I usually use Klonopin or Xanax. I was caught by a couple of close friends last year and ended up being placed on a 1013 (order of protection) and spending a week in the hospital. I see a psychiatrist that diagnosed me as bipolar and just seems to push meds. Currently I have: Adderall, Xanax, Klonopin, Seroquel, Abilify, and Effexor. My therapist seems to be helping as the time periods between sessions of cutting are lengthening but I highly doubt I will ever stop even though I would like to. But some days cutting and taking the meds are the only ways that I get through.

I'm glad to see this board as I've never really been open and honest with anyone about my issues except with my therapist. I've never even talked to anyone else struggling with addictions, not even in the psych hospital because I was too focused on getting out. I'm hoping to hear other's stories and gain some support and have a safe outlet for the difficult times.

Have you ever checked out the book "Unbecoming a Nurse." My stbxh is an RN with addiction issues and he said it was a fantastic book.  

[bronco]

This is an AE, although I'm mostly a lurker anyway, but I'm here because my husband is an alcoholic. I don't know if anyone read the post on ML yesterday where the woman's husband was hiding drinking, but that's basically my situation minus the veteran portion. My DH and I were drinkers when we started dating and were first married, but nether one of us were ever out of control minus the embarrassing drunken mishap. Two summers ago I discovered he had been hiding vodka in the garage and secretly drinking for about a year. We were discussing TTC at that point, so TTC was placed in hold and he got himself together.

A year later, he had not been hiding his drinking that I could tell (I'm pretty tuned into him and usually can tell pretty quickly if he has been drinking/lying). So we TTC and I got pregnant with twins. The were born very prematurely in December. They came home in March and he has just spiraled since. Drinking and driving, drinking before he comes home, not seeing an issue with being intoxicated and handling the babies and on and on.

Anyway, things came to a head yesterday and I'm at the point where he needs to get professional help or I'm done. My mom was raised with an alcoholic father and seeing what that did to her, my aunt and uncles, I am not willing to put my kids through that. I'm just really sad because I'm almost positive he will chose alcohol and will just self destruct after I leave. Sorry for my rambling. Like is said, I hit my breaking point yesterday, do it's all pretty fresh. It's nice to hear from recovering addicts, women who have stayed and/or left their DH because of addiction. Thank you to everyone for being willing to discuss these issues and help out others.  

[btay]

Jul 3, 2014 11:24:28 GMT -5 bronco said:

This is an AE, although I'm mostly a lurker anyway, but I'm here because my husband is an alcoholic. I don't know if anyone read the post on ML yesterday where the woman's husband was hiding drinking, but that's basically my situation minus the veteran portion. My DH and I were drinkers when we started dating and were first married, but nether one of us were ever out of control minus the embarrassing drunken mishap. Two summers ago I discovered he had been hiding vodka in the garage and secretly drinking for about a year. We were discussing TTC at that point, so TTC was placed in hold and he got himself together.

A year later, he had not been hiding his drinking that I could tell (I'm pretty tuned into him and usually can tell pretty quickly if he has been drinking/lying). So we TTC and I got pregnant with twins. The were born very prematurely in December. They came home in March and he has just spiraled since. Drinking and driving, drinking before he comes home, not seeing an issue with being intoxicated and handling the babies and on and on.

Anyway, things came to a head yesterday and I'm at the point where he needs to get professional help or I'm done. My mom was raised with an alcoholic father and seeing what that did to her, my aunt and uncles, I am not willing to put my kids through that. I'm just really sad because I'm almost positive he will chose alcohol and will just self destruct after I leave. Sorry for my rambling. Like is said, I hit my breaking point yesterday, do it's all pretty fresh. It's nice to hear from recovering addicts, women who have stayed and/or left their DH because of addiction. Thank you to everyone for being willing to discuss these issues and help out others.  

((()))  I am sorry you have to deal with all of this. I'm sure you know it's coming but you definitely need to look into finding an Al Anon meeting near you, I've heard they have some with childcare available if you don't have someone to watch the babies.   We are always here if you need to talk through anything

[sjh722]

Nice to have this board! I was just PMing with someone else a few weeks ago about how we need a "I can't believe this is my life" GBCN board.

The past few years have been rocky. My DH ended up in a partial-hospitalization program when our daughter was 2 months old for OCD and major depression. Bringing him to the ER with a tiny infant along was one of the worst days of my life, but I am thankful he was able to get help. He was off work for about 4 weeks and continued with counseling and medication (and is still on medication) and has made such significant improvement, it's been amazing. We were also able to do some family counseling there that was hugely helpful.

OCD is, unfortunately, very genetic and my MIL has it, we are pretty sure, and is in denial, and was pretty upset with me for bringing H in (we did not tell her that he was to the point of having a lot of suicidal thoughts. She would have driven herself crazy with that knowledge). One of H's brothers also has OCD and has recognized that he does but still won't go to the doctor for it. So that is difficult.

And in between all of this, my Dad entered treatment for alcoholism, relapsed, ended up at AA and has been sober for almost 2 years, and now has (possibly?) self-diagnosed himself as manic-depressive. (He has been to a doctor, but no one is getting a straight story from him. And his symptoms seem more consistent with a personality disorder, but he is super controlling about what treatment he will do.) He's driving my mom crazy and pushing everyone else away with his need to control evveeerrrything in his life. (He has always been like that, and now his mental illness is another way to make everything all about him. That sounds mean, but it's true.)

PDQ. I'll DD this and kind of feel like I need a more anonymous user name for this board.

[malibu]

Welcome to everyone!

You've probably seen my recent posts on ML if you hang around those parts.

My H is currently in an inpatient treatment and mental health facility. He's been an alcoholic for at least eight years, probably longer. He would hide vodka in Coke bottles around the house. He was arrested in 2008 for a DWI, I thought that would change things. Obviously, it did not.

Things came to a head for him when he basically had a nervous breakdown and quit his job the first week of June. He lied for several days, pretended to go to work. On payday (the 6th) I checked the bank account and knew what I'd suspected all that week, that he was no longer working. I freaked out (I don't make enough to pay the bills on my own) and went to work, angry and positive he'd been fired for drinking on the job, something I knew had been happening for a while. A few conversations with his family later, he and I had a long discussion. He's suicidally depressed. He's been on various anti-depressants over the years but continued to drink, which obviously doesn't really make the pills work all that well.

He checked into a well known treatment facility on June 24th after all the insurance crap was sorted out. DD (3) and I are on our own right now until he's home. The plan is for him to complete the 28 day program; it could be longer if necessary.

I've lived with an addict now for about ten years. We've been together since 2003, moved in together in 2005 (about the time I started noticing how quickly we were going through liquor bottles), married in 2006. My parents both grew up with abusive alcoholics and to this day, neither of them drink at all. I wasn't really familiar with alcoholism prior to noticing his heavy drinking, so I didn't know what to do. I've been through guilt, shame, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, and despair; I've struggled with self-esteem problems for years now due to not feeling important enough or good enough for him to care enough to stop drinking. I know now that it's not my fault, has never been my fault, and really had nothing to do with me but was focused squarely on him and his mental health issues.

To everyone struggling with an addiction or a loved one with addiction, I seriously hope you find help and a safe place to share your feelings and situations here.

[mel]

Jul 3, 2014 10:52:16 GMT -5 btay said:

Jul 3, 2014 9:58:15 GMT -5 mel said:

I normally post on SO because well...I split from my ex about almost a year and a half ago and it's been quite the struggle to say the least. We share custody of our 2.5 year old DS and try to stay pleasant for the sake of the baby but that's not always the case.

Anyways, I'm 31 years old and have struggled with self injury since I was 16. I typically cut and sessions can be anywhere from 1-100. I always live by my rule of "never cut deep enough to need stitches"...for fear of getting caught. I am an RN so I know when to stop. My tool of choice is a scalpel. I typically cut on my legs since those can be hidden a little easier than elsewhere. I also abuse prescription drugs. I am not addicted but when I get super stressed out and cutting isn't enough then I typically will overdose (again not to the point of "getting caught"...typically 10-20 Xanax). I usually use Klonopin or Xanax. I was caught by a couple of close friends last year and ended up being placed on a 1013 (order of protection) and spending a week in the hospital. I see a psychiatrist that diagnosed me as bipolar and just seems to push meds. Currently I have: Adderall, Xanax, Klonopin, Seroquel, Abilify, and Effexor. My therapist seems to be helping as the time periods between sessions of cutting are lengthening but I highly doubt I will ever stop even though I would like to. But some days cutting and taking the meds are the only ways that I get through.

I'm glad to see this board as I've never really been open and honest with anyone about my issues except with my therapist. I've never even talked to anyone else struggling with addictions, not even in the psych hospital because I was too focused on getting out. I'm hoping to hear other's stories and gain some support and have a safe outlet for the difficult times.

Have you ever checked out the book "Unbecoming a Nurse." My stbxh is an RN with addiction issues and he said it was a fantastic book.  

I will look into it. It is so hard being a nurse and having mental health issues. There just isn't enough support out there for nurses. It's much more of an accusatory/suspicious environment then a supportive one.

[mrsfarmer]

We are adopting half sisters from foster care; they are currently 15 and 27 months. Birth moms family has a history of abuse and mental health issues. Unfortunately, our 2 year old suffered what the state deems emotional trauma at 6 months old when her arm was broken while in a previous foster home. She was placed with us at 14 months and we have worked with early intervention and she has blossomed.

I have met birth mom and I do see some of her traits in DD1. I have vowed to help her. The state wrote an adoption assistance package for future services if necessary. So far her younger sister has not exhibited any of these issues but the state cannot rule out genetics so will be writing a plan for future services if need be for her as well.

I give birth mom credit that she has broken the alcohol and chemical abuse cycle in her family, but she is not following up in her mental health issues. She, her mom, and her half sisters have the same diagnoses so I really hope she gets help at some point. We are hoping by getting the girls young enough we can break the rest of it as well.

[pixelpassion]

Jul 2, 2014 22:52:53 GMT -5 btay said:

Jul 2, 2014 22:46:08 GMT -5 pixelpassion said:

Hi btay and gracie,

I'm here because my father and stepmother are alcoholics, and my brother has a history of substance abuse as well. My father comes from a legacy of alcoholics on his side of the family, and dealing with him is a struggle. I've posted about him on ML before, but what was most problematic growing up with him and dealing with him now is that alcohol exacerbates his abusive behavior. He was physically abusive when I was growing up and is what I would describe as an "emotional terrorist." I attended Al-Anon for 6 months, and still have my reader, but I stopped going once I moved. Honestly, I think this board is a great suggestion as I think that too many of us have loved ones that struggle with addiction. I see my role here as offering support to others, as I gave up on hoping for my father/stepmother to go into recovery long ago.

Other info about me, I'm currently a licensed therapist working with children 7-14 in a residential intensive mental and behavioral health setting. A lot of my clients have parents that are addicted to substances as well. I don't know if I could ever do straight up addictions work though, too close to home.

Hi I would love to pick your brain about work sometime. I did my undergrad in psychology with the intention of ending up in counseling but never did the graduate school. I am contemplating going back now and doing marriage/family counseling with a focus on addiction. My biggest fear is my inability to leave the work at work.

Feel free to pick my brain any time.

[Deleted]

Hi, I jumped into a couple of posts already. I'm an alcoholic, attend AA, and love talking about recovery. Always a social drinker, but at one point crossed the line. I drank alcoholically for four years, but was really in trouble fast.

The people who know about my drinking, outside of my AA friends, were quite surprised. I looked good, no probably more like okay, on the outside. But I felt like a total fraud on the inside. My bottom was definitely not as dramatic as some, but having seen what alcohol did to my mom, I knew I was headed for trouble. So I started attending AA. Now I have a much better solution than "fixing" my problems with wine.

[partiallysunny]

Hello all.

My father is a recovering alcoholic. He also suffers from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. My mother suffers from depression.

My H has anxiety and is being treated for depression. I suspect he also has ADD, but it's not been confirmed. I myself have suffered from situational depression.

Hoping I can offer support and advice.

[krisandgrace]

Recovering alcoholic checking in. I got sober in 1995 and am active in the 12 steps. I also have a multitude of family members with drug and alcohol problems.

[SwimDeep]

Hello everyone,

Even though I was all for a recovery board when it was suggested on ML, I hesitated before posting here. My husband is an alcoholic. He is active in AA and doing much better recently, but I am still deeply isolated. I talk to my therapist about it, but I have no one else that I can reach out to for support with this. I don't have good relationships with my family, and I would feel very strange going to my in-laws with complaints/vents/whatevers about their brother/son. Certainly the last thing I want to do is make my in-laws feel like they're caught in the middle.

I also have my own issues, including self harm, severe depression, and restrictive eating habits (I hesitate to say eating disorder because I haven't been formally diagnosed). I want to admit here that I probably should have been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts a couple of months ago. No one in my life knows how close I was. I had already started seeing my therapist, so I calmed myself down as best I could and promised myself the time my brain needed to adjust to the anti-depressant I had started taking. I'm finally on a good dosage of medication for depression/anxiety, and I feel like I'm slowly getting to a point where I'm capable of sorting through the emotional mess in my head. I know I have a long way to go, but I've at least stated moving.

I have a difficult time getting to al-anon meetings because I've been extremely busy and stressed, so I'm very grateful that this board was created.

[flex]

We're here for you, SwimDeep!

[SwimDeep]

Jul 8, 2014 16:49:04 GMT -5 flex said:

We're here for you, SwimDeep!

thank you! I've lurked on ML, TIP, and other boards for a long time. I've always been amazed by the amount of support that people offer each other here. I'm going to do my best to be an active participant.

[bronco]

Small update from me (DH has a drinking problem, it came to a point where he gets help or I'm out). My DH admitted his drinking is out of control and he has been drinking to "fix" something inside him. He also admitted he is sad a lot of the time. He is going to an AA meeting tonight and is planning on joining me at my therapy appointment later this month.

I go to therapy because of this issue and because of how the NICU experience effected/traumatized me.

Im shocked and happy he is owing up to his issues and admitting there is a problem. I was fully expecting him to deny it, avoid it, ect and ultimately be separated. So, I'm cautiously optimistic at this point. There really isn't a point to my rambling, I guess I just had to get it out  
Thanks again everyone!! This is a helpful support system  

[flex]

This is great news, bronco!

[bronco]

Jul 9, 2014 15:16:11 GMT -5 flex said:

This is great news, @bronco!

Thanks Flex. I lurked ML on TK years ago and more recently here (I know I sound like a creepy lurker, I'm not, just intimidated by ML esp. after last night ) and I have always admired your openness about your recovery and sobriety. I appreciate it. 

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2014 17:13:07 GMT -5 bronco said:

Jul 9, 2014 15:16:11 GMT -5 flex said:

This is great news, @bronco!

Thanks Flex. I lurked ML on TK years ago and more recently here (I know I sound like a creepy lurker, I'm not, just intimidated by ML esp. after last night ) and I have always admired your openness about your recovery and sobriety. I appreciate it. 

I get your concern bronco.  After this week's showdown, I'm feeling a bit intimidated too!