If (which I don't) I felt that it'd be inappropriate for DH to do this then I wouldn't do it out of principal of how it would make me feel if roles were reversed.
It seems innocent enough, but I wouldn't do it. It's one thing to randomly be in the same class and have a conversation - it's not worth it to go any further. Although it sounds like your relationship is solid, there's something off about it to me.
I do not think the guy was being inappropriate or anything but I do not think I would do it. I do not think I would like it if my DH was meeting up with a woman at the guy (it would be different if there was a group of people).
Can I ask why you feel this way? (Honest question, no snark.)
The only reason I was even questioning it is truly because if GBCN! I feel like this is the thing that others have cautioned against and then I started to get nervous. I don't think I really would mind if H made a female friend at the gym but then I feel like others have posted about it being a red flag before so then I was doubting myself. I honestly have no idea if this guy is single. We have both been not drinking for a while so have been talking about that at the gym too. He recently lost a significant amount of weight and I am obese so I think we have similar food issues.
Something about it would just make me feel weird. I would be 100% comfortable with saying to him in person "I am planning on coming to the 6:00pm class on Wednesday. Will you be there?" but something about texting to arrange it just seems unnecessary. Kind of how I would never think twice if a male coworker were to eat lunch together at the company cafeteria. But if the two of us actively made plans for the two of us to go out to have dinner together, I would feel like I was crossing some sort of line. I don't want raise anyone's eyebrows.
Well, I think that since you didn't think it was something to hide and told DH, who was fine with it, then it's ok. But if he's the type of guy that may encounter the same sort of platonic relationship and assume you'd be ok with it because he is, and then might be upset that you told him you were not ok with it, then I would probably not schedule classes with this guy, and just leave it as it is. Does that make sense? I sort of want to describe it as a double standard, even though that's probably not the best word for it.
Post by nonsenseabound on Jul 8, 2014 22:10:08 GMT -5
This really just depends on your relationship. I had lunch one on one with a guy friend today. He's a colleague and we go to lunch two or three times a month together, we get along and converse about a lot of stuff. He is going through a divorce and I am happily married. Yep, some people might view this as ripe grounds for starting an affair but I am not that type of person and my husband knows that. I also would have no problem if my husband was sitting right there watching the entire conversation.
Some people can have friends of the opposite sex and there is no issue. Sme people cannot have friends of the opposite sex without it being problematic. Only you know if this will be a problem area for you.
I also think that men and women can be just friends. If you're open about it with your DH, and he's okay with it, I don't see a problem. If this guy hasn't acted inappropriately towards you, then I wouldn't condemn a possible friendship before it even got started.