I recently ran a 5K where there were lots of supportive people - spouses and kids - cheering on their running women (wives, girlfriends, daughters, mom, etc). Mine never come to races. Although I will get a "I'm so proud of you" or "good job" when I come home and report how I did, I guess I'm just looking for a little more. I don't know why I need this now, when I never did before (I've been running for about 18 months now) but I want a cheering section, dammit.
Am I completely crazy? And be gentle, because I'm feeling a little raw here about this.
I understand what you mean. My "circle" is very small, and as we have an active 2 year old, MH doesn't usually come out to meet me, so I'm all alone at races. It does bum me out a bit.
I've been running about 18 months too, and in the last 6, I joined a few meet up groups, and am meeting people that way. They are very supportive, and we meet up after or before races for pics, and they try to cheer other members on as they finish. Any chance of doing something like that?
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
I don't think you're crazy - you feel the way you feel. Mine comes out for ETA big races (marathons and some halfs, esp if I'm going for a big PR). It's nice but it wouldn't bother me too much if it wasn't his thing, because really I race for my own personal satisfaction.
Have you ever actually just asked him/them to come out? Maybe he doesn't know it's important to you.
I've run a lot of races by myself with no one in the crowd. Especially now that I have kids, my H stays home with them for the most part. Now that they are getting a little older, it's easier for H to take them out to cheer, but it's a lot of work for him, plus he's already making some sacrifices for me to be out training.
I guess I don't have much advice, but that I get it. I see groups of women running together or having training partners that they can race with and I get a bit jealous. I don't know anyone close IRL that runs the same amount, time of day, or pace that I do. I plan to join up with a few running groups eventually, but with the young kids it's hard to get away in the evenings.
I'm very new to running- I've run a whopping total of 2 5ks so far- but I completely relate to how you are feeling. My first race was a neighborhood one, so I knew plenty of people. However, my second 5k I went to alone, and although I had a blast running, I felt like I was the only person by myself and felt out of place at the food/beer festival that was afterward.
I think the part I felt saddest about was that I was so happy and proud of how I did (dropped my time 2.5 minutes to 28:26!), and I had no one to share it with even once I got home. My family could care less I think, lol.
Plus if you have people cheering for you, they can hold your car keys and stuff
My H and kids come when they can. It's hard with two kids to drag them out into the DC where a lot of my races are. I don't run that many races so he's only been out to support me a few times.
He did find a spot during the MCM near the end and it was sooooo awesome to see H and DS on mile 22. I needed that boost. I'm hoping he will be able to make it to my next marathon, but logistically it will be tough since we only have one car.
I understand what you mean. My "circle" is very small, and as we have an active 2 year old, MH doesn't usually come out to meet me, so I'm all alone at races. It does bum me out a bit.
I've been running about 18 months too, and in the last 6, I joined a few meet up groups, and am meeting people that way. They are very supportive, and we meet up after or before races for pics, and they try to cheer other members on as they finish. Any chance of doing something like that?
This is good advice. Most of my support at races comes from my friends, not my family.
My husband will drag them out for an important race but never a 5K. And I prefer it that way, at the end of the race, I want to hang out, not deal with my kiddos. I love them, but it's nice to not have to worry about anyone but myself.
Post by schitzengiggles on Jul 8, 2014 10:44:07 GMT -5
My DH has never come to cheer me on. Mostly because it would be so much work to bring the 2 kiddos; if the situation were reversed I would sort of dread the idea of dragging them with me to cheer, as well. I do get jealous to see others with their family there cheering them on and perhaps as the kids get older, they might come out now and then. I would never expect it for every race, but just for an important one even once per season might be nice.
I do have a huge group of running friends thanks to joining a national mom's running group with local chapters everywhere (like maybe 1,000 locations). This means that in any particular race, I am very likely to not only have friends to meet up with (or run with, depending on their pace), but also that it is likely someone I know will be there cheering, too.
It depends. We do a lot of races, sometimes my husband does them with me (the same race I'm doing, usually not together), sometimes he does other races that day, and sometimes he comes to cheer me on. We also have a lot of running friends, so I usually run into someone I know.
We tend to support each other for big races, say 10 or more miles. I actually probably want less support than most folks, it makes me anxious if folks being there messes with my warm-up. My parents watched one of my half marathons and my mom wanted to run with me during the warm-up and kept chatting and trying to redirect our route. Shhh, it is quiet time!!
If it is really important to you let him know. I don't think it is reasonable to expect folks to be there for every race, but pick a big one or two.
I understand what you mean. My "circle" is very small, and as we have an active 2 year old, MH doesn't usually come out to meet me, so I'm all alone at races. It does bum me out a bit.
I've been running about 18 months too, and in the last 6, I joined a few meet up groups, and am meeting people that way. They are very supportive, and we meet up after or before races for pics, and they try to cheer other members on as they finish. Any chance of doing something like that?
I found a running club and joined it and they have been fabulous about being supportive. But they are also running with me and so aren't standing there at the corner, yelling GO GO GO! or whatever. It is nice, however, to see familiar faces at races.
who are you envisioning in this cheering section? your spouse? your children? your friends?
I have to admit that if I'm not racing myself I'm not real likely to want to get up at the crack of dawn to cheer for someone else. it's also not really important to me. therefore, I don't really expect this from others, but if MH asked me to come and support him because it was important to him I'd do it. same goes for friends.
My H is not interested in my races. I wish he was, but he's just not. He's come to my marathons and stood at the finish line, but mostly because we traveled for them and they are a bigger deal to me. I wouldn't even bother to ask him to come to any less-important-to-me-races. Have you asked your SO if he would want to come see you?
I don't think you're crazy, it does make me a little jealous when I see spouses and kids cheering others on, but over the years I've become more accepting of it I guess. And when you start to do a ton of races, it seems a little impractical to get really excited over every one.
He has asked, with a surprised voice, like, "oh, do you want me to be there?" and I think of him with our kid(s) and the impracticality of it all and say, reluctantly but firmly, "no" because it wouldn't work out. So I understand I put myself in this position.
But maybe I want them to make a sign anyway and hang it up on the front door?
And I also understand that a year ago, when I first started running, I understood how much of an asshole I'd been to my running friends in the past because I didn't "get it" and you just don't until you start to run and race. So there's that.
Post by shellfish26 on Jul 8, 2014 10:51:03 GMT -5
I certainly know how you feel- my H couldn't care less about my races. In fact, he is completely bored by my running, and visibly tunes out every time I even mention anything about a race/training, etc. I am pretty sure that he would come out and cheer if I asked him to, but honestly, I would feel guilty about it, knowing that it's equivalent to going to the dentist for me. I have no other family in the area, so I've accepted that I am running solo.
I did a race back in February and when I finished, I just wanted to hang out at the after-race party, but it seemed like everyone was there with family and friends and I was alone with no one to talk to. But that was the push I needed to become more active in the local running community. Nowadays, I have running friends, and it's made a huge difference in my attitude about my H.
The only time I had groupies was for my marthon several years ago. DH doesn't come race or watch generally, although if it's OOT he will come along. When I saw him at marthon mile 22 I broke down crying. I honestly don't mind for the races I've done so far (15K max), but I will be happy for the support during my half. Even if I only see him once there is something about knowing he's out there somewhere!
I generally race alone but I'm fine with that. Even if I "meet" friends at a race I don't run with them. It is nice to have someone at the end to celebrate/commiserate with though.
ETA: an example of my DH's reaction: Last Friday a PR for me in the 4-miler race. I texted him 35:30 woot! I heard nothing back so assumed he was still sleeping. His response "oh yeah, I got your text but I didn't know what it meant?" Gah!!!! Then he did the math and said- great job. Oy vey.
Post by emilyinchile on Jul 8, 2014 11:07:58 GMT -5
I've only done a few races. For the 10k's, I don't care. I think I actually prefer not having anyone standing around cheering for me because to me, it's not a big enough deal to want to impose on people's time (totally my own thing, not a judgment on anyone who does want that!). For my half marathon my dad and his wife timed their annual trip to be here for it, and they and H met me at several points along the route. The ILs came out for a couple points too. That was awesome and very important to me. I may never run 13 miles again, people!
It sounds like you should tell your H that running has become important to you and that even if it's cheesy, you'd like him to outwardly show some support for that.
My DH has never come to cheer me on. Mostly because it would be so much work to bring the 2 kiddos; if the situation were reversed I would sort of dread the idea of dragging them with me to cheer, as well. I do get jealous to see others with their family there cheering them on and perhaps as the kids get older, they might come out now and then. I would never expect it for every race, but just for an important one even once per season might be nice.
I do have a huge group of running friends thanks to joining a national mom's running group with local chapters everywhere (like maybe 1,000 locations). This means that in any particular race, I am very likely to not only have friends to meet up with (or run with, depending on their pace), but also that it is likely someone I know will be there cheering, too.
Are you talking about Mom's On the Run? I am interested and have looked them up, but haven't pulled the trigger. I am sort of a wuss when it comes to joining things alone.
My DH has never come to cheer me on. Mostly because it would be so much work to bring the 2 kiddos; if the situation were reversed I would sort of dread the idea of dragging them with me to cheer, as well. I do get jealous to see others with their family there cheering them on and perhaps as the kids get older, they might come out now and then. I would never expect it for every race, but just for an important one even once per season might be nice.
I do have a huge group of running friends thanks to joining a national mom's running group with local chapters everywhere (like maybe 1,000 locations). This means that in any particular race, I am very likely to not only have friends to meet up with (or run with, depending on their pace), but also that it is likely someone I know will be there cheering, too.
Are you talking about Mom's On the Run? I am interested and have looked them up, but haven't pulled the trigger. I am sort of a wuss when it comes to joining things alone.
Nope - I am in (actually I am a co-leader for) a different one - Moms RUN This Town. It's similar in that it is a running group for moms, but it is less "official" (no formal coaching) and more flexible. Oh, and FREE. You just join your local chapter on FB (it's a closed, private group) and that's it.
No idea where you are, exactly, but we do have several chapters around the Twin Cities. Mine is the largest and most active, we typically have 3-5 group walk/run options per week. Members are also always welcome to post with their own ideas for a run based on what works for their schedule.
If you want to know more, shoot me a PM! Being a part of it seriously has changed my life in so many ways, and I have heard the same from others.
Sometimes I do want people there...usually it's when I pass signs that say "Go Mom!" or some other variation of that.
But I realize getting these kids out the door, to a viewing spot, and entertained just for a few seconds of seeing me really is a GIANT pain. If it's a short race and there's a kids race, it makes things easier.
Otherwise, I just pretend all the people cheering are cheering for me.
Oh and last night a guy at the gym was cheering for me and told me to do a set of 5 thrusters when I picked the bar back up. I yelled "THREE" at him and I think I scared him a little lol.
Post by mccallister84 on Jul 8, 2014 11:40:10 GMT -5
I don't care for 5ks - at this point I'm not really training for them specifically. But for my first half in September I'm actively recruiting a cheering squad.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Jul 8, 2014 11:48:57 GMT -5
I understand where you're coming from. My husband pretty much never comes to my races, except for full marathons. I've only had other family/friends cheer at one of my races, which was my fall 2013 marathon. I can see how it would be nice to have a cheering section for all races, but I don't really care much about it for shorter races. I do care about having support for a full marathon. I feel like it's support/acknowledgement of the effort I've put into it... like if someone comes out to cheer me on, it means they recognize that the race means a lot to me and they want to support me as I do it.
There isn't - but it's super easy to start one if anyone was ever interested ;-) I believe so far the only chapters we have outside of the U.S. are several in Canada and one each somewhere in Germany, Japan, and Puerto Rico.
Post by fluffycookie on Jul 8, 2014 12:04:08 GMT -5
It depends on the race. My first 5K was a St. Patricks one and I knew the group I was running with was going to hang out after for drinks so I didn't want DS around. The second DS and MH were there and it was fun and the last race I ran went by our house so they sat out on the front lawn and cheered the runners on.
My H only comes to the races he runs too, which isn't much. I don't really mind. Don't get me wrong, it'd be awesome to see someone cheering me on in the crowd. But I feed off all the excitement going on as a whole and it doesn't bother me much.
ETA: an example of my DH's reaction: Last Friday a PR for me in the 4-miler race. I texted him 35:30 woot! I heard nothing back so assumed he was still sleeping. His response "oh yeah, I got your text but I didn't know what it meant?" Gah!!!! Then he did the math and said- great job. Oy vey.
My DH doesn't even know what PR means. I have to remind him every time. He looks at me with a cocked head and says "Puerto Rico?"
My DH comes and spectates the hell out of my marathons. Seriously, he is amazing... makes a sign the night before and tries to make it to 5-6 different points on the course. He drives me to halfs and will be at the finish line, but doesn't really spectate. Anything shorter than a half, and he stays home. I'm not sure why there's the "cutoff" that anything less than a half isn't worth spectating, but I'm fine with it. Running is my thing, and I know he's supportive. But I don't really feel like I need him to cheer me on for every single race. He makes the big ones and does them in a big way. That is more than enough for me.