This is going to sound really stupid and humblebraggy, but my life had way too much not-average shit totally jam packed into the first 20 years, and it did the opposite of making me happy but rather fucked me up quite a bit. I now take great solace and comfort in the "normalcy" of my life, because it's all I ever dreamed about. I don't regret my life experiences but I'm happy as hell to be boring and normal.
Post by peachykate on Jul 15, 2014 20:02:27 GMT -5
I worry about a lot of things but this one never crossed my mind. DH has struggled with this on and off, and I always think it's a mid life crisis type of thing. Focus in what you good at, work on what you are not and don't worry about the rest.
Post by sineadorebellion on Jul 15, 2014 20:22:26 GMT -5
I know the person I am right now is not the person that I want to be remembered for. I'm not sure if that makes sense. There are so many things I'm trying to change right now. Some personal stuff, like my weight and trying to be more outgoing.
I just know that there's so much I want to do still and it's taking me a lot longer than I ever imagined to get there.
You're struggling with being average, mp? You're a fabulous photographer and was that you with your cute dog in a pic the other day? You're doing so well. I wish I could be more and do more. There are so many things I want and want to do. I am pushing to do more and be more. I need so much time. I am trying to make really effective use of my time, but I struggle like anybody else with wasting time.
I want to be a skilled artist, a writer, in shape and well-dressed and well-read and I have knitting projects I want to accomplish and I want to be a better crossword doer and I want to learn Spanish. So much to do, so little time.
I'm saying this in a non- narcissistic way, I spent the majority of my teen/young adult years being better than average. But now I just want to be average. I always joke to my husband that one day I'm just going to quite everything and be a grocery checkout person. Come in, work my shift, get my two 15 min and lunch breaks and then go to Bingo in the evening.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Jul 15, 2014 21:00:00 GMT -5
I think part of the struggle of feeling average is who you surround yourself with. You are excelling in many things. But your social circle is also excelling so compared to them you just feel average. If you look more globally at things, you're above average.
Post by sailorgray on Jul 15, 2014 21:00:50 GMT -5
People don't remember me and that can be hard to handle. Like, I will meet people several times and they have no clue who I am. I once went on a camping/paddling trip with a few other couples and my H. It was 3 days in a close setting and only about 8 people. We ran into one of the couples a few months later and she had no clue who I was. When I run into people from college, I always mention my BFF bc everyone remembers her.
I don't think about this too often and in fact actively work not to care about my relative awesomeness/averageness too much. My dad is great and I love him, but I think something of his bigger struggles are intricately tied to the fact that he didn't become a famous singer in his chosen genre. And I never wanted to be like that.
This is cheesy but hear me out. I know that I am a very average person. I do not have any extraordinary talents or insights. I never have and I'm probably not going to later. I just try to love my friends and family extraordinarily, and that can be my "extra" in life. It's something I have complete control over.
I don't feel like my life is average. A majority of my friends are married / have children / never left our hometown.... I on the other hand am single, moved to a new state on my own accord and don't want children.
I guess I feel the opposite. Like I don't want to be average. I don't want anything like the "average American Dream".
For me.... It's a struggle to be the special snowflake unicorn.
How old are you, mp? I know very few people who didn't go through this at some point before 35.
Luckily for me, I embraced my mediocrity in my mid twenties, allowing much more time for mental freedom.
Every once and awhile I get a pang for my old city life, where I felt like SOMEBODY, lol, and then I remember, that was fucking exhausting.
28.
I'm divorced & child free, so I think being alone adds to that feeling sometimes. Not that I feel alone, but like... the example that cjoy gave of her grandfather. If I don't have kids that won't be me. Just struggling a little to find my way, I guess.
I'm developing a non-profit and that's allowing me to pour my heart & passion in and (hopefully) allow a way for me to channel my passion for art & giving back at the same time.
This post resonated with me a lot. I am 33, divorced, & child free, and not even the slightest prospect for more than that on any immediate horizon. Around 31/32, something just sort of clicked and I said...well, fuck it. If this is what it is, this is what it is. I analyzed what was important. I hang out with my friends as often as possible. I quit my go-nowhere job and got a job I really, really care about that hopefully allows me to make some minor impact. I'm still average as fuck, but it's ok. It is what it is. Lately I've fallen into a bit of a dark spot - not depression, just something. Lack of motivation, maybe. I think it's cyclical to go through these sorts of feelings in your life. In some ways, I guess getting a job I cared about really was the trigger for this latest sadness, which seems weird. Like, I tried really hard to get what I wanted, then succeeded in getting my dream job, now what? So I'm trying to figure out what's next for me. I think that's life - a series of figuring things out.
I'm sure you make an impact in many ways you may not ever know. I wish you the best in your latest endeavor, you never know where these things may take you!
Well, sometimes I sit back in amazement at my lack of accomplishments. I've managed to accomplish damn near nothing, but really the only thing I'd like to add in is more naps. So, I guess my goal is to accomplish even less than before.
Does anyone ever feel like they're stuck being average? And that it sucks?
YES I know. Statistically we're not all special snowflakes. So maybe I should just blame the fact that I'm too close to gen y where everyone is taught they're a unique unicorn when they're not. haha.
It just feels like some days I am treading water and putting in a lot of effort - just to sit here and watch everyone pass me by.
Life is overall pretty good, don't get me wrong. I'm just blabbing.
Ok, babe. First of all, I will admit that I didn't read any replies, but I can tell you a few things. You may not have cured AIDS or have ever been to the moon, but you are not average. You are anything, but that. You have sparkle and pizzazz. That is more than a lot of people have and I am not one to blow smoke up someone's ass. Remember that! You are magnetic!!
P.S. I responded to your Alaska post, but my phone wouldn't let me tag you so you might not have seen it.