Stolen from MM - Best breakup story

[esdreturns]

Post yours here!

[bowies]

Since the story of my divorce is rather played out, I'll contribute this one:

My very first "real" boyfriend and I were chatting on the phone one afternoon after school (as we often did), and after about an hour of nothing conversation he tells me that he's in love with a friend of mine. I hung up the phone and never talked to him again. Then he started parking his car on the street behind my house and watching my bedroom windows. Once he figured out that I knew he was doing that, he finally stopped and left me alone.

He did tell my friend that he was in love with her in a grand romantic display. She had a boyfriend so she told him to piss off. They never dated but managed to remain friends.

[beebeeeater]

I don't think I have any good breakup stories.

However, when H and I first started dating, I was still seeing someone else (for those who have known me a long time...the cowboy/coach) and MAY have been sleeping with both of them. I know, I know...HOR.

Anyway. H figured out that I hadn't totally shed the cowboy yet, cornered me, professed his love for me and said "I'm not doing this bullshit. You need to choose, right now. Him or me."

I bet you know who I picked.

[partiallysunny]

My second boyfriend ever, in like 9th grade, drew me a rose and wrote "I Love You" after we had dated a week.

I broke his itty bitty heart right after. I was 15, what the fuck did I know about love!

All my other breakups were tame and mutual/ of circumstances.

[interro]

My first boyfriend broke up with me in the school parking lot while my driver's ed teacher waited in the car for me to do practice hours. I walked away calmly, got to the car and completely broke down - weeping and weeping. And the lady let me drive like that, and I still drove better than my bff who got behind the wheel and immediately had us on the wrong side of the road.

As an adult, the psycho I dated before Mr. Bang ... ugh. It makes me shudder. He lived 2 hours north. I was up there over New Year's to run a 5k with him. We got home from the 5k around 3pm and he got in bed to take a nap. And by the time I left his house the next morning at 6am? He was STILL SLEEPING. He would wake up every few hours and make noises about getting up, getting dinner etc.

I should have just left, but I didn't have a key to his place and needed a key in order to close the door behind me when I left. Why? Because he locked himself out several weeks prior and broke the doorknob off to get in, leaving only the deadbolt. So to secure the door you had to lock the deadbolt from the outside.

Seriously, I should have just left and left the door open but ... who knows. I didn't.

So by this time we'd been having major problems for weeks and I was done and would have told him that day, had he been conscious, but since he wasn't, I didn't know what to do. I left and then a day or two later on the phone I told him it was over.

He LOST IT. Three hours of weeping, begging, pleading, talking in circles, threatening to harm himself, and all kinds of other shit I don't want to remember. I finally hung up.

For months afterwards he texted me constantly. Not lots of little texts a day, no. 30-page, multi-part, saga texts about his fucked up childhood, his ex and how much he hated her, how he was the best thing that would ever happen to me, and so forth. It was seriously fucked up. I didn't reply - for a while - thinking "ignore" would be better, but no. It continued. Finally I told him "This needs to stop" and it did. I wish I'd done that sooner.

[wrathofkuus]

This is a rerun, but it's always fun stuff.

When I was in my first two years of college, I dated a guy we'll call Dumpster Dave (there are reasons why, but you probably already know those). It was first love and that sort of thing, so I was conflicted about ending it, but we had only been together about a year, so I still remembered what it was like before him, and was aware that I was happier then than I was at that point. So I broke up with him, and he cried. And cried. And cried. And then called me, and cried some more. So the next day I went to classes as usual, and damned if he hadn't skipped school (he was still in high school) to lurk outside my classes and give me these pictures he drew of cute little animal versions of himself that were dying without my love. After the third class I was all worn-down and told him I'd changed my mind, and you can imagine how that felt to me. We dated for another year.

The next year, I'd had enough, no more conflicted feelings. Since I saw how it went when I broke up with him, I picked a big fight and got him to break up with me in the heat of anger. The next night, I heard music outside, and looked out my window, and he was standing outside with a boombox overhead like Lloyd Dobbler. Except it wasn't "In Your Eyes" - it was "Treasure" by The Cure. I don't know if you know that song, but it qualifies as absolutely not romantic. The woman DIES in the song. I went out for a combination of closure and letting him know how lyrically inappropriate the song was for the situation, and of course, he tried to get me to take him back. Knowing how this went before, I told him that I was in love with someone else, a guy friend of mine that I'd once had a crush on but no longer did, and needed to see where that went, so it was completely over (this detail actually becomes unexpectedly important later). I wasn't in love with anyone else, of course, but I knew Dumpster Dave, and knew that this would convince him that it was at the very least over for now.

The next day I found an envelope with a letter and an audio cassette in the mailbox. The letter contained a rant about how horrible I am and how I betrayed him and am totally evil. The tape was a real-time (though not uninterrupted) narration of the two nights after the original breakup, spent sleeping in the park and questioning the meaning of life and whether he'd be able to go on living. Being a beebee, I responded by mailing him a rebuttal letter to his original, detailing a list of why he wasn't right for me, with a sublist of why he wasn't currently right for anyone and should fix his shit before dating again. He rebutted. I rebutted. Then he started leaving gifts instead. This went on for a couple of weeks before he left another audio cassette of him narrating the first night he actually felt better, and relieved that he didn't have to worry about our relationship any more. We actually stayed friends for a few years after that, and I did admit that the other guy was a bunch of baloney.

Although, when I told this story to a friend of mine at the time, she totally missed that the guy friend thing was just a convenient lie, and told this guy friend that I was in love with him. Who apparently felt the same way and was hoping that I'd leave Dumpster Dave. Long story short, I ended up kinda sorta in a relationship with the guy friend briefly without actually ever consenting to it, Frasier door-slamming farce and a lot of awkwardness later, and I ended up severing ties with that whole group of friends.

[malibu]

When I was 14 or 15, I dated an "bad boy" who was a few years older. We were at a party the night we split up. I wanted to leave, had my Rollerblades on (yeah, I was soooooo cool), and he kept telling me we weren't leaving. He hit me in the face with a beer bottle. Nice, huh?

I got the last laugh. Never, ever hit a girl wearing Rollerblades. I was honestly surprised he was able to have a few kids later in life, I kicked him so hard in the nuts.

I used to put up with a lot of crap from guys when I was younger, but that was the one and only time a guy ever hit me. I wonder if he ever did it to anyone else...?

[gault]

The first guy I dated post-separation seemed normal at first. But after he bit my nips so hard he broke the skin, told me he watches a lot of porn and that's how he's so good at certain things, and told me he loved me after the fourth date... I broke things off.

I got "I'm sorry, you were the best thing to ever happen to me" emails in 5-month intervals for YEARS.

[picklepie09]

Hi everyone. I am Hamsterwheel19 from TN. But loving it here.

My best breakup story was that my BF who had given me a hope chest and we were looking at rings took me out to a romantic dinner. the scene of our first date. he was super nervous. (I was 24 he was 23). I was so excited I KNEW he was going to propose. When the bill came and they handed it to him he asked to split the bill (which he never did). Totally thrown off I was like "Huh?" to which he replied.."Sorry but I don't want to do this anymore. I met someone else and I want to pursue it, I wanted to let you know in a public place because I knew you would flip out".

Not only did I NOT flip out, I quietly handed him the bill while whispering "Best favor you could of done for me thanks" and walked out with my pride. I totally broke down on the ride home though and literally had to go into therapy. Young stupid love....

[wrathofkuus]

Did you get to keep the hope chest?

[laddie]

I dated this guy about four years ago who has some major whoa is me issues. It stated as a fuckbuddy situation which I was fine with. He told me that he never wants to get married or have kids. It ended with me basically telling him he needs to grow a pair. I don't think he has because the other night I came home from work to this: "as my baby sister is getting married tomorrow, I thought I should tell you that I truly loved you with all my heart and would have married you if you weren't simply using me to make t jealous. shame it was only real for me."

[interro]

Holy hell @ Kuus and Pickle.

[wrathofkuus]

Who is T? And were you using this guy to make T jealous?

[laddie]

May 15, 2012 13:48:22 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Who is T? And were you using this guy to make T jealous?

T is a guy that I've known since is was in middle school and he was stationed overseas at that time. We still talked and T had a girlfriend at the time this all happened. And, no, I really wasn't using him to make anyone jealous. I just got tired of his pansyass and bailed.

[Muddled]

I love Dumpster Dave stories!!!

Holy shit, Gault! What a winner.

PicklePie- You handled that really well. I'm impressed. It's so Legally Blonde.

[margarita]

Years ago, I was casually dating this guy I'd met at school. It was completely platonic. We were really just friends who spent time together and would go out on occasion. He eventually told me that he wanted to be exclusive, but I'd just ended a relationship with a total asshole, so I wasn't looking for anything serious. He said he was fine with that.

He lied. And so began the calls late at night, saying he'd waited all day to hear from me, he'd missed me so much, where had I been? who was I with?, etc. He said that when we lived together, things would be so much better, and we could spend so much more time together.

I told him (again) that I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. So, then came more and more calls from him. He would profess his undying love, and on one occasion, he sang the song 'I Will Survive.' Yes, I shit you not.

Fast forward to me meeting and dating a new guy (now H.) Somehow, the dude found out about it and LOST it. He phoned me crying, asking a myriad of questions, and panicking.

But then later, he called back all calm and collected, saying that he was a nice guy, and he didn't want to hurt me. He said we'd just have to tell everyone at school that "whatever we'd had" was over. After all, he didn't want there to be rumors started about me cheating on him.
He ended things off by saying that "we could have had a beautiful life together" and he sincerely hoped for my sake that I wouldn't regret my decision one day.

[datsyuksmommy]

I briefly dated a guy (6 weeks max) and I got drunk and slept with another guy who I was really into. The next day I called bf and told him what I'd done. He said we could work on it. I had already wanted to break up with him, and hearing that when I cheated after being together only a few weeks that he wanted to "work on it" I lost all respect for him. It's the only time I ever cheated on anyone. Anyway, I broke up with him on the same phone call. I just couldn't believe his response.

I dated that 2nd guy for 8 months until he broke up with me to "explore his feelings" for another girl, who he's now married to. Best thing about that break up? He told me that I cared about him to much, and when I relayed that info to a really nice guy at work, he told me that he'd give anything to have that problem. That nice guy from work is DH.

[beebeeeater]

OMG these stories are killing me.

BROKE THE NIP SKIN GAULT? ::shivers::

[Deleted]

I broke up with ex-FI around St. Patty's Day several years ago, but we had purchased plane tickets to go to one of MY friends wedding in Hawaii for June of that same year. I didn't want to marry him or be in a relationship with him any longer so I told him that and it was over. I got that break up email from his mom a few days later (I'm guessing when he had the nerve to tell her) and then several emails from him saying he refused to give up his tickets to our mini-plan pass at a local AAA baseball games and was still planning on going to Hawaii with me.

HUH?

We did not speak except the times when we went to these baseball games (weird - I look back and don't know why I went) and he did come to Hawaii with me. It was so awkward. I was too nice at the time to say eff off you are not coming w/ me. He didn't even pay for his portion of the room/hotel. For the Hawaii trip, I did my best to pretend that things were okay and once we got back, I hugged him goodbye and that was it.

So strange. He was so "nice" that I didn't have the guts to really say goodbye until I realized when we were in Hawaii how ridiculous it had become. He had tried to email me several times after that, begging and pleading that I talk to him and be his friend and I even got texts from his friends begging me to talk to him, but I resisted and that was it.

[Muddled]

YOU LET HIM GO TO HAWAII WITH YOU?!?!?!?

[wrathofkuus]

I get letting him go to Hawaii, but I don't get not shaking him down for his portion of the trip. Want me to come bust some kneecaps for you?

[datsyuksmommy]

May 15, 2012 14:24:39 GMT -5 Muddled said:

YOU LET HIM GO TO HAWAII WITH YOU?!?!?!?

This.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 14:26:37 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

I get letting him go to Hawaii, but I don't get not shaking him down for his portion of the trip. Want me to come bust some kneecaps for you?

Yes well I would have, but honestly just wanted the whole thing to be over with and didn't want him coming around anymore. He offered some time later in his desperate emails, but I just ignored them.

Yes - I was a different person even just 4 years ago, I didn't have the heart to say no to him after I broke his heart and obviously wasn't thinking clearly. It was a very very very very awkward trip.

[partiallysunny]

Some of these are really creepy.

Oh, speaking of creepy, there was a boy (man?) I dated briefly who was a wreck. My mom set me up with one of our coworkers (yes, I worked with my mother for awhile). He was in college, I was a senior in high school, to give you an idea of age. He was very shy. We went on a few date, one was playing pool and the other was a movie after prom. I really wanted to like him, but I wasn't really into him so the next couple times he asked me out, I declined. He showed up at work a few times while I was working to chit chat. I thought it was NBD.

Then he showed up at the grocery store. Then Walmart. Then the movies. All not on his side of town. The last straw was when he showed up at the library. I finally realized it wasn't a coincidence and my mom must have been telling him where I would be (she admitted it when I confronted her later that day). He freaked me out and I told him off in the most immature manor.

He quit right after and dropped out of school to find himself.

[elleb]

May 15, 2012 14:38:54 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Some of these are really creepy.

Uhhh agreed. Creepy, but also pretty entertaining. I think I'm too sheltered, I had no idea there were wackos like this out there.

[hubes]

I dated an asshole for four years. His idea of trying to win me back was song lyrics. And telling me that no one else would love me like he did. And telling me that all of his friends thought I deserved to die. And going to my parent's house to "talk things over" with them. And calling my grandma. And going to the frat that I frequented to ask the guys where I was. And grilling them about who I was hanging out with. And suggesting self-help books. And getting his mom and dad on my case.

[Muddled]

DL, you have come a long way. I am so glad you came to your senses on that one.

Huber, you reminded me about the guy that wrote me a song after we broke up. I was terrified to listen to it for the longest time because I was certain he had gone all Alanis on me. But no, the song in no way reflected the hundreds of emails he had sent. Phew!

[picklepie09]

May 15, 2012 13:48:22 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Who is T? And were you using this guy to make T jealous?

I kept the hope chest and sold it for like 100 bucks went out and got drunk with my friends!

[margarita]

May 15, 2012 15:53:59 GMT -5 picklepie09 said:

May 15, 2012 13:48:22 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Who is T? And were you using this guy to make T jealous?

I kept the hope chest and sold it for like 100 bucks went out and got drunk with my friends!

:Y:

[hubes]

May 15, 2012 15:52:56 GMT -5 Muddled said:

DL, you have come a long way. I am so glad you came to your senses on that one.

Huber, you reminded me about the guy that wrote me a song after we broke up. I was terrified to listen to it for the longest time because I was certain he had gone all Alanis on me. But no, the song in no way reflected the hundreds of emails he had sent. Phew!

I seriously died when he asked me to come over to "talk it out." He knelt down and said "Look, I'm calling you beautiful instead of hot. I'm just a stupid boy...." I rolled my eyes into the back of my head and he retreated into his bedroom, looked up Guns N Roses on youtube and cried for hours.

He convinced one of our good friends to come to my house and hand me the phone to recite more song lyrics.

Six months later he called me and called me a slut and told me I didn't respect myself. Because I had kissed other guys (not slept with, just kissed)

Then he dated my best friend- the one who he said was a bad influence on me. And got all pissed at her because she stood up in my wedding, instead of "being there for him on the hardest day of his life." Or some shit like that. But then she banged my other friend. But they are still dating. So, whatevs.

Oh, and did I mention that my parents thought it would be a good idea to invite him to my wedding?