“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I guess it's because it sounds like she victim shamed herself and claimed responsibility. The caption on the video I saw said 'cops say they assaulted each other'. No mention of where the fuck he was dragging her to. It's also gross how he seems to just look bothered at the end, like, 'great, now I guess I'll have to deal with this'.
She also allegedly spoke to the commissioner. I heard something earlier this week that part of the reason it was only 2 games was that both Ray Rice and his wife both met with Goodell and she basically said that she was also responsible for what happened, it's not just him, give him a chance, blah, blah, blah.
There was a recent news article about a young girl that got raped at a concert and someone said, "Well, when you mix alcohol, big crowds, and women who dress like prostitutes, it's inevitable."
The drug charges are taken seriously because they affect level of play, therefore, the bottom line.
I need someone to explain to me how pot impacts player performance (other than getting slower I would imagine).
Whether it does or not, the consequences for illegal drug use (including pot) are outlined in the collective bargaining agreement. So that's why Gordon's a dumbass.
There's no such guideline for domestic violence situations.
Also, no way do I believe this was a one time incident. You don't go from 0 to hitting your fiancée so hard she's unconscious, then dragging her body out of an elevator.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
Unfortunately, he is VERY likely to re-offend. Of course he did the treatment and "became an advocate" - to save his reputation. Who knows if he is sincerely ready to change his behavior? Most abusers don't change. Especially when the consequences are so, so minor.
I personally hate "by all accounts he is a great guy" type talk. How people behave in public often has little to do with how they treat their intimates and family. In fact, the need to be liked and revered is often closely tied with abusive behavior. The partner cannot keep up the non-stop validation the abuser requires. In any case, no one who drags someone by their hair is "a great guy," period.
Hey now, everyone is getting up in arms over what?? You know if women would just up and not provoke the men, this would never happen. God, I heard it when he was saying it the first time and the look on the other guy's face was like..what are you doing? Shut up. I would look to him as a DV counselor as much as I would look to Mike Vick as an ASPCA spokesperson, which is nil. Dirty bastards.
Yeah aren't most serial killers remembered by their neighbors as the nicest people and they are always shocked b/c he/she would never suspect that person. They were so nice. Oh they were great. BULLSHIT. All accounts in the public eye, yeah he may seem like a nice guy, we know what happens when he thinks no one is looking and you think that's a good guy? No. I am sure the elevator incident was not the FIRST time nor will it be the last. It was just the FIRST time he got caught.
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
For who? They were shocked and devasted? They should have been outraged and neither should they be a "fan" anymore. Where is the shock and outrage for the woman he beat down?
I guess it's because it sounds like she victim shamed herself and claimed responsibility. The caption on the video I saw said 'cops say they assaulted each other'. No mention of where the fuck he was dragging her to. It's also gross how he seems to just look bothered at the end, like, 'great, now I guess I'll have to deal with this'.
Yeah how she's on the floor passed out and he just kinda shoves her or kicks her with his foot? It made me so upset to watch.
Agreed. DH and I had a long conversation about this last night. We believe that stuff like this should be up to individual teams' discretion. And we also believe the drug policy is way too strict.
To his credit I think the press conference he gave was pretty sincere, and he expressed he has been in counseling since the time of his crime and continues to go. So hopefully he is changing and becoming less of a horrific human - I hope so for his wife and daughters sake.
But the NFL can seriously go fuck itself with the two game suspension.
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
Yeah, I've met him. He's a massive douche.
Of course he's willing to undergo "treatment"... his zillions of dollars are on the line between salary and endorsements.
Whose insider perspective is it that he's "not likely to reoffend"?
Based on numerous studies - the only "treatment" that worked to lower recidivism (by a measely 7%) were the treatment options that were court ordered, and came after an arrest, criminal charges and court oversight.
Not attacking you, but this "information" does a horrible thing for ending the victim blaming going on in our society. Please try to educate as many people as you can about the truth of the matter.
There are tons of good guys in the NFL. This guy is not one of them.
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
He likely already re-offended since that incident happened.
Not using Facebook/Twitter is not a punishment unless you're 14.
I am so grossed out by the "he's a good guy" comments. What if he had raped her? "Well, he only raped her ONCE. He's going to change and won't do it again. It's totes ok." No. No. Just no.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Unfortunately, he is VERY likely to re-offend. Of course he did the treatment and "became an advocate" - to save his reputation. Who knows if he is sincerely ready to change his behavior? Most abusers don't change. Especially when the consequences are so, so minor.
I personally hate "by all accounts he is a great guy" type talk. How people behave in public often has little to do with how they treat their intimates and family. In fact, the need to be liked and revered is often closely tied with abusive behavior. The partner cannot keep up the non-stop validation the abuser requires. In any case, no one who drags someone by their hair is "a great guy," period.
You are absolutely right - most do not change. There was minor successes shown in studies where abusers underwent intensive counseling and DV education programs specifically created for abusers, but yeah, those who stop abusing are a very small minority.
I guess I just hope he is sincere so that his wife and child do not continue to live in the hell that is DV.
I would never in a billion years advise someone to stay with an abuser on the off chance they will change, but since she has seemingly made the decision to stay, I hope the abuse has stopped.
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
Are you kidding me with this shit?!? Missing two games is punishment? Having the woman he beat into unconsciousness marry him a few months later and then plead for his job is punishment?!? Being welcomed into the stadium with a standing ovation is punishment?!?
Can you really be so naive to think that this is with the first time, or that he will stop a pattern of likely repeated abuse overnight and become a believable advocate against beating the crap out of women just because he was caught on tape?
Agreed. DH and I had a long conversation about this last night. We believe that stuff like this should be up to individual teams' discretion. And we also believe the drug policy is way too strict.
Why should it be up to the teams? They are *businesses* and only concerned about financial gain. This is and should be treated as a legal matter. Full stop.
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
WTF? Are you serious with this shit? Do you have any idea how many abusers seem like such a great guy to anyone else? And good to know that you have such an inside track that he's not likely to reoffend. ^o)
Post by iammalcolmx on Aug 1, 2014 12:35:34 GMT -5
I watched the Press Conference and I certainly hope he is serious about , when the time is right, speaking out against domestic violence. Well after he receives a shitton of therapy because if you knocked your wife( or anyone for that matter) unconscious you need some help. He said he speaks about the incident with his wife but I am curious how those conversations go.....
I think making a straight comparison of Ray's punishment and the others are unfair. You don't compare two criminal sentences without knowing at least a little bit of the details involved. I don't know Ray personally but I know a ton of people who do and by all accounts he is a great guy. If the NFL took into consideration how willing he is to undergo treatment and become an advocate against DV then I think that's within their discretion. He did not go unpunished. His fans were shocked and devastated by this news. He's gone dark on social media where he used to be very active. I'm not condoning what he did but from a somewhat insider perspective he's not likely to reoffend IMO.
Are you kidding me with this shit?!? Missing two games is punishment? Having the woman he beat into unconsciousness marry him a few months later and then plead for his job is punishment?!? Being welcomed into the stadium with a standing ovation is punishment?!?
Girl, he is not currently tweeting. WHEN WILL THE PUNISHMENT END? #contrite #hardlabor
Post by thelurkylulu on Aug 1, 2014 12:39:47 GMT -5
OMG It honestly blows my mind that people think the NFL should be responsible for issuing punishment for this. You wouldn't expect YOUR employer to issue a harsher punishment than the legal system.
And also, I cannot fucking believe someone said he's "gone dark on social media" as an example of a harsh consequence Rice is dealing with. Holy fuck. WE ARE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN THIS, Y'ALL.
I watched the Press Conference and I certainly hope he is serious about , when the time is right, speaking out against domestic violence. Well after he receives a shitton of therapy because if you knocked your wife( or anyone for that matter) unconscious you need some help. He said he speaks about the incident with his wife but I am curious how those conversations go.....
I would imagine he talks, and she listens. Because I would be terrified to disagree with someone if they knocked me unconscious.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg