I think this is what I have been doing the past couple of months in therapy. It's really hard! Taking inventory of my emotional distress, depression, anxiety, codependency, complete lack of self-esteem and self-worth...It's not hard for me to feel like I've fallen into a black hole, unable to escape the crushing weight of all my failures. At my last appointment I told my therapist that I was stunned how hard it was to work through all the chaos in my head. She told me that most people don't realize how difficult it can be and that it takes a lot of courage to face who you are and try to change.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I dreaded my first fourth step. Put it off as long as I could. But coincidentally, when I was new, my friend who passed away last week pointed out this part on page 64 of the big book!!
"Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us."
The BB says at once. To be honest I was kind of pissed that he was pushing me to do a fourth step. He also told me that I needed to get off the platform and get on the train. His name is written in my big book next to the above passage. Probably because I was irritated at the time. But every time I read that part of our text, I still smile when I see his name and remember my obstinance. Now that he is gone, I'll cherish his advice!
Once I finished my fourth step, there it was - all of the stuff that was preventing me from being a better human being, mom, wife, and friend.
To those in our group who are hesitating, it's really not that awful. Promise. Maybe choose a few big things you want to offload. You can always do more work at a later date. It's a process.
I dreaded my first fourth step. Put it off as long as I could. But coincidentally, when I was new, my friend who passed away last week pointed out this part on page 64 of the big book!!
"Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us."
The BB says at once. To be honest I was kind of pissed that he was pushing me to do a fourth step. He also told me that I needed to get off the platform and get on the train. His name is written in my big book next to the above passage. Probably because I was irritated at the time. But every time I read that part of our text, I still smile when I see his name and remember my obstinance. Now that he is gone, I'll cherish his advice!
Once I finished my fourth step, there it was - all of the stuff that was preventing me from being a better human being, mom, wife, and friend.
To those in our group who are hesitating, it's really not that awful. Promise. Maybe choose a few big things you want to offload. You can always do more work at a later date. It's a process.
@courtneyloves is right. It really isn't that awful. And it helps you to see what your part is in every situation that causes anger or hurt.
I'll add another adage I used to hear about this step: "If you're sick, you go to the doctor right away. You don't put it off or you'll get sicker."
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny