Is this a guarantee? I mean, is a kid who will wake up in their bed and scream or just play happily in their room a unicorn? Or do you have to lock them in? Baby gate the door?
We have a short flight of stairs between our rooms, so I really want to try to prevent this. If I can't, may as well keep the hallway well lit.
My kid is not usually a rule follower easy kid and from day 1, my h said she should not get out of Thebes without asking. Yes she cries out at 5am but never leaves the bed. It's been 4-5 months. So it can work. Maybe short period. Maybe she is just lazy?
One main reason I am glad I had boys is road trips. Oh you have to pee little newly trained 3 year old and there isn't a bathroom for another 30 miles? Cool let me pull over on this gravel road and let you spray some weeds. I mean girls can pop a squat, but that is a learned talent.
One of the pros having an older brother (and klassy parents, I suppose) is that DD learned to pee outside while potty training. And when she was littler, she didn't even really have to squat... just bend her knees a little, lol.
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I wish there was a babysitters club around here. I could use a non family preteen or teen babysitter.
I found one on Facebook in a neighbourhood group. And I left my (sleeping) 1 year old with her after giving her the wifi password and assuming she wouldn't burn the house down.
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I wish there was a babysitters club around here. I could use a non family preteen or teen babysitter.
I'm borrowing a friend's family. My BFF has two nieces that she's got all pretrained for me. I've taken my kid to her house several times to be watched in conjunction with her kids for double date activities. Now I just need to make the leap to borrowing them myself. I think her dad has met me enough times that he'd be ok with it...
and I've got my eye on the neighbor kid. she's way too young now (3rd grade I think?) but by the time she hits middle school Shorti and Potential Future #2 will still need a babysitter.
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I wish there was a babysitters club around here. I could use a non family preteen or teen babysitter.
Sometimes the Y will keep a list of teens who have passed the red cross certification class. Also, your local area probably has a for sale site that you can join and find sitters that way. Local churches might be a good place to look too. Or rec centers.
I wouldn't be comfortable letting anyone under 14 sit by themselves, and even that is a big maybe.
Do you have children? Because you need to see a developmental psychologist about setting appropriate boundaries if/when you have them.
I'm not even joking.
This issue is raised in a book I'm reading, and I just had a good conversation with my psychologist last night about this very topic. Parents who over-shelter their children like this create anxious adults who cannot function outside of a narrow safety zone. Exposure to all manner of environments that encourage responsibility and independence is crucial to a child's development.
If you will only MAYBE let a 14-year-old sit somewhere alone, then you are parenting wrong. This isn't a matter of different parenting choices. This is a matter of actual psychological health.
(Also, super late to this thread, but damn, it got awesome. Thanks, CEP.)
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
Do you have children? Because you need to see a developmental psychologist about setting appropriate boundaries if/when you have them.
I'm not even joking.
This issue is raised in a book I'm reading, and I just had a good conversation with my psychologist last night about this very topic. Parents who over-shelter their children like this create anxious adults who cannot function outside of a narrow safety zone. Exposure to all manner of environments that encourage responsibility and independence is crucial to a child's development.
If you will only MAYBE let a 14-year-old sit somewhere alone, then you are parenting wrong. This isn't a matter of different parenting choices. This is a matter of actual psychological health.
(Also, super late to this thread, but damn, it got awesome. Thanks, CEP.)
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
So you are applying this to all situations? Would you ever leave a 12-year-old alone anywhere? If the answer is no, you seriously need to read some developmental psychology. This is not healthy for the child.
Post by downtoearth on Aug 14, 2014 15:18:42 GMT -5
I am so glad I asked all those questions to sillygoose. I needed a laugh today.
ETA: Plus I love the leave kids alone discussion b/c it really gets people riled up and I can try to piece them into the "never answer the doorbell when home alone" or "sure, answer the doorbell when home alone" groups.
Do you have children? Because you need to see a developmental psychologist about setting appropriate boundaries if/when you have them.
I'm not even joking.
This issue is raised in a book I'm reading, and I just had a good conversation with my psychologist last night about this very topic. Parents who over-shelter their children like this create anxious adults who cannot function outside of a narrow safety zone. Exposure to all manner of environments that encourage responsibility and independence is crucial to a child's development.
If you will only MAYBE let a 14-year-old sit somewhere alone, then you are parenting wrong. This isn't a matter of different parenting choices. This is a matter of actual psychological health.
(Also, super late to this thread, but damn, it got awesome. Thanks, CEP.)
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
I would teach my child to reply "I'm 12. Are you a pedophile?"
Do you have children? Because you need to see a developmental psychologist about setting appropriate boundaries if/when you have them.
I'm not even joking.
This issue is raised in a book I'm reading, and I just had a good conversation with my psychologist last night about this very topic. Parents who over-shelter their children like this create anxious adults who cannot function outside of a narrow safety zone. Exposure to all manner of environments that encourage responsibility and independence is crucial to a child's development.
If you will only MAYBE let a 14-year-old sit somewhere alone, then you are parenting wrong. This isn't a matter of different parenting choices. This is a matter of actual psychological health.
(Also, super late to this thread, but damn, it got awesome. Thanks, CEP.)
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
That has nothing the fuck to do with whether or not it is reasonably safe to leave a 14 year old to sit somewhere for 20 minutes. If this were the case, you couldn't leave women alone ever. We should all wear a chador and travel with a male relative at all times.
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
So you are applying this to all situations? Would you ever leave a 12-year-old alone anywhere? If the answer is no, you seriously need to read some developmental psychology. This is not healthy for the child.
Sure, I just don't think being alone in a lobby is the best place for someone who may not have the confidence to tell someone to bug off.
I've made my judgement based on the lobbies that I am familiar with where grown men compliment preteen girls by telling them that they are sexy. No thanks.
I would teach my child to reply "I'm 12. Are you a pedophile?"
I can't decide if you are kidding or serious, because that is a great response!
So you are applying this to all situations? Would you ever leave a 12-year-old alone anywhere? If the answer is no, you seriously need to read some developmental psychology. This is not healthy for the child.
Sure, I just don't think being alone in a lobby is the best place for someone who may not have the confidence to tell someone to bug off.Â
Well, they don't have the confidence because you've never given them the chance to learn confidence.
So you are applying this to all situations? Would you ever leave a 12-year-old alone anywhere? If the answer is no, you seriously need to read some developmental psychology. This is not healthy for the child.
Sure, I just don't think being alone in a lobby is the best place for someone who may not have the confidence to tell someone to bug off.
I assure you that most 14 year old girls have unfortunately heard exactly that and worse walking the halls of their high school or while shopping in JCP. Unless you've actually seen a 14 year old sexually assaulted in the lobby, Imma need you to check yourself.
And even if you had, I think we all agree that it's not a common occurrence and doesn't mean the activity isn't safe. If it does, it also means no one should drive anywhere.
Potty training and moving from a crib to a bed are the two parenting milestones I dread and will wait as long as humanely possible on. If my kids would still be in a crib at 5 I would be so happy. Waking up to find those little eyes staring at you in the middle of the night takes years off my life . YEARS.
Is this a guarantee? I mean, is a kid who will wake up in their bed and scream or just play happily in their room a unicorn? Or do you have to lock them in? Baby gate the door?
We have a short flight of stairs between our rooms, so I really want to try to prevent this. If I can't, may as well keep the hallway well lit.
Maybe Scarlett could give lessons to the 14yos. After she told MH "I don't like when you try to make me feel bad for loving Mommy more than you," I bet she could come up with something on point for creeps in lobbies. Like, "I don't like when you try to intimidate me or make me feel uncomfortable by hitting on me because I'm a young woman alone in a lobby. Go away gross creepy dude."
Maybe Scarlett could give lessons to the 14yos. After she told MH "I don't like when you try to make me feel bad for loving Mommy more than you," I bet she could come up with something on point for creeps in lobbies. Like, "I don't like when you try to intimidate me or make me feel uncomfortable by hitting on me because I'm a young woman alone in a lobby. Go away gross creepy dude."
Honestly (to make this CEP), EC sounds like another way to be all, "LOOK HOW WEALTHY I AM!" One of you can afford to stay home and watch your kid shit and piss into a bowl all day. LUXURY. It's a class marker...except when it's not, like in China. It's like extended breastfeeding. It shows who either has enough time/money in a developed nation, or who has no money in a developing nation.
So, obviously I have boys and therefore my job is more geared toward teaching them not to sexually harass/objectify others....but for girls would you rather teach them at 14 how to handle sexual harassment rather than just ignore it as a problem by keeping them inside ? You then expect her to either go to college or get a job a mere 3 years later without having instilled these skills??? I mean, we don't want to raise our kids in fear but good lord at least give them the skills to function in the society we live in.
I'm so surprised by this. Am I the only one counting down until the day my kids are old enough to leave alone?