DH wants to stop treatment. **UPDATE IN OP**

[hisno1girl]

He said the new meds are really making him miserable even with the Zofran for the nausea.

He started this new treatment at the beginning of July and took it for two weeks before he had a severe allergic reaction. He had to stop taking the pills and go on benadryl. 

He started the pills again (2 a day instead of 3), an antibiotic, and the Zofran 10 days ago. He said that he has been puking everyday and it's pulling him into a deep depression.  This is news to me because I didn't know he was having those problems until today.

I told him if he wants to stop this treatment, it's his choice to make. Then he said he doesn't want to do any kind of treatment at all. No pills. No chemo. He said he feels like his quality of life has gone completely downhill and he doesn't want to deal with it anymore.

I don't know what to say or do. I feel numb. I can't even form words to talk to him because my mind is trying to comprehend what he's saying and I just can't process it.

UPDATE: DH has an appointment with his oncologist on Wednesday to talk about stopping treatment, long term prognosis, AND the possibility of new meds (from the suggestions everyone have me, thank you!). 

For done of you who asked, yes DH uses mj for the nausea and it helps a little bit. He doesn't smoke it anymore, he does medibles or he makes THC capsule. He said smoking it makes him feel high and I'm like...that's the point. :-)

Thank you a million times over for the outpouring of love, prayers, good vibes, and hugs.  You all mean so much to me. You are always here for me no matter what and I'm lucky to have you in my life.  Love you all so much!

[kdmac]

Oh His. I1m so sorry (hugs)

[tripleshot]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Bernadine]

I can't imagine. I'm so, so sorry.

[cbwm1]

Oh no, His.

I am so, so, so sorry. Big hugs to you.

[rosiebear]

I don't really have words for you; I'm sorry. I wish neither of you had to deal with this horrible situation.

[sineadorebellion]

Oh, His I will be thinking of you.

[jeaniebueller]

I am sorry

[derp]

That has to be impossibly difficult.

[W.T.Faulkner]

My thoughts are with you and him.

The bitch of cancer is that the treatment is often more painful than the disease. I just can't understand.

[hisno1girl]

I keep.thinking, "Is he saying what I think he's saying?" And my mind shuts down. I really can't believe this. We went out on Saturday night and he seemed fine.

I keep opening my mouth to talk and no words are coming out.

[berbles]

I'm sorry, His. I hope you both find a solution you're comfortable with.

[ooglie26]

Thinking of you guys, and keeping you in my prayers.

[kirra]

Oh, His. I'm sorry.

Be kind to yourself. I'll be praying.

[Nonny]

((HUGS))

[ginger]

((HUGS))

[ax2]

Huge hugs and lots of love. I will be thinking of you guys.

[BaliHai]

Big hugs. Is it possible it's the depression talking and once he stops this course of treatment he'll reconsider? I'll be thinking of both of you.

[sequins]

I'm sorry His. Can he postpone such a decision till he talks to a doctor about his depression? Lots of hugs

[isabel]

Oh God.

I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry, His.

[Jalapeñomel]

I'm so sorry His. A zillion hugs.

[Deleted]

Oh His, I am so sorry. Praying for you both.

[eddy]

Oh god I am so sorry.

[karinothing]

I am so sorry. My mom made the same choice and it was very hard for me to process (and I had a HUGE amount of anger towards her...(but more the situation in general). I wish I had some advice that I could give you to help process everything but I just went to lots of therapy.

I guess I just want to say I am sorry and it sucks.

[exploding people]

I'm so sorry, His. Big hugs.

[litebright]

Oh, His. I'm sorry that it's this bad for him. This must be so scary for both of you. Big hugs.

[alicenelson]

Oh, no, His.  You and your H will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.  I can't even--it's just incomprehensible what you're going through right now.  Or him, for that matter. ((Hugs)). Lots of them.  

[panicked]

I am so so sorry you're both having to go through this. It's not fair.

This is really common in people with cancer/illness with lengthy treatments. They are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You mentioned that he's depressed. He needs to see someone. I would approach him and say that you understand his decision, even though you may not like it. It must be hard to feel horribly miserable all the time. Before he quits treatment though, you would like him to speak with someone to help him and everyone process the effects of that. This isn't meant to change his mind, just to make full peace with it.

A good doctor (one who specializes in chronic/terminal illness) will recognize the depression and try to help him through it.

Again, hugs to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[missanne]

((His))

[hisno1girl]

Aug 13, 2014 19:22:28 GMT -5 BaliHai said:

Big hugs. Is it possible it's the depression talking and once he stops this course of treatment he'll reconsider? I'll be thinking of both of you.

I asked him to please consider going back into therapy. He said most of his anxiety comes from thinking about how chemo is like pumping poison into his body.

This course is supposed to be for six months.