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[anyastroud]

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[hopecounts]

Has she had ABA therapy?
they are really good at addressing negative behaviors like this.
You may be unintentionally reinforcing the behavior with the current approach, it depends on what is motivating it, for example when she does it because she is mad she may enjoy your reaction in a I'm mad so you can suffer to kind of way.
Could also be a function of poor communication capability and frustration, which developmentally she is likely around 2.5 so not unusual for that age.
How does she communicate? Signs/words/speech device/PEC/combo?
It may be time to reassess what the best means of communication might be for her, and add/change to something that she can better use to communicate.

[craftyone]

We usually see more negative behaviors when my son is frustrated with something or does not know how to handle the situation and maybe sensory seeking.

Are you working with anyone outside your family for the behaviors? ABA? OT? Sensory? Our therapists usually have social stories to showing not doing the bad behavior and why (no pinching because it hurts others physically and their feelings) .It is something that you could do yourself with microsoft word and adding in pictures(that is what our therapists do). We use it as re-enforcers when my son does something that he shouldn't. We pull out the story and have him read it. We usually have a book and he will flip through the pages every day/couple of days.

We also have sensory outputs (bear hugs, giving him a spin, deep pressure) that help him when he can get into this mood. He doesn't understand what a consequence is like his NT brother will, so typical punishment will not work.

[auntie]

I'm sorry; this must be hard.

It's hard to offer suggestions given that you haven't shared her level of "functioning" or what you're already doing.

My go to would be discuss this with her team and do a FBA to uncover the antecendents to the behavior, You could do something similar by keeping a log of when she acts out- what was she doing just before? Is she hungry? tired? bored? reacting to a sensory trigger? frustrated?

Violent isn't generally a word I use, is she truly aggressive and trying to hurt or does she not even understand that her actions cause pain. Is she typically hyposesistive to the reactions of others and needs a big reaction in order to feel like she's connected with them?

Have you considered meds? Often agressive kids, especially those who have greater degrees of impairment and atypical behaviors require medication to remain at home and in the classroom. It's not an easy choice, but can make a huge difference in family quality of life.