We've been married almost 7 years, so the questions about when we're going to have a baby are relentless at this point (although we're only 29... I turn 30 on Friday). The questions have almost made me defiant, lol. Like I'll show you by waiting even longer, haha. It's not even a conscious thing, but it's definitely been happening. Though I think the main reason is that we're both finally at a place in our careers where I can see having a child not being a huge burden. So that eases my mind about a lot of things and makes me more excited about it. We have a lot more flexibility (time and money) than we did even a year ago.
Same thoughts here. We said, "Oh we'll wait 5 years to be married then have kids." Now it's, "Well, perhaps 7 years." I've actually passed the point where people stopped asking. Now they just sort of cock their head and try to figure us out. "Married almost 6 years. Very happy, thanks. We have a beagle. No, we're good. Yes, we know how babies are made."
We wanted kids, but it was not to be. Despite major IF intervention, we were never successful. At this point, we have decided to move on child free. We are not preventing, but as an infertile 43 year old, I have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting pregnant.
We've been married almost 7 years, so the questions about when we're going to have a baby are relentless at this point (although we're only 29... I turn 30 on Friday). The questions have almost made me defiant, lol. Like I'll show you by waiting even longer, haha. It's not even a conscious thing, but it's definitely been happening. Though I think the main reason is that we're both finally at a place in our careers where I can see having a child not being a huge burden. So that eases my mind about a lot of things and makes me more excited about it. We have a lot more flexibility (time and money) than we did even a year ago.
Same thoughts here. We said, "Oh we'll wait 5 years to be married then have kids." Now it's, "Well, perhaps 7 years." I've actually passed the point where people stopped asking. Now they just sort of cock their head and try to figure us out. "Married almost 6 years. Very happy, thanks. We have a beagle. No, we're good. Yes, we know how babies are made."
Hahaha, this is us. Random person: "And you don't have kids yet?" (obvious confusion re: why two seemingly normal people who've been married for 4 years do not yet have children). Me (brightly): "no, just Lola! She's an only child for now."
We have one on the way after just under two years of TTC. We wanted our 20s for fun and 30s for kids. We reassessed at one point because we thought we might want to be child free to travel and stay out late and sleep in...and then we realized we didn't really do that stuff anyway and we are pretty boring, so we decided to go for it!
I haven't been on birth control since May of 2008, but I lost a lot of weight and never had regular periods until the end on 2011. I've had two miscarriages. I can't bring myself to do any fertility treatments. I find dealing with infertility draining and choose not to worry about it. Life's just too short to hinge my happiness on that. We genuinely enjoy the freedom we have right now in life and I kind of feel like kids would ruin a lot of that. Although, I hear kids come with a few bonuses too, but I'll be happy living out my days with or without one.
My sister just announced that's she's having number five, so I'm sure at least one of them will take pity on me in my old age and take care of me. lol
No, but it is hard sometimes to wonder if we're missing something since all of our friends now have them and many are actually past the dreaded infant stage. I'm almost 37 so it's also scary to know the decision is getting close to final, even though we've both consistently been childfree by choice for at least 8 years.
Probably. We were on the fence for awhile but now we're both leaning more towards "yes but not yet."
My job situation is the big thing that's holding us back right now. Once I find a new job, I see that things could quickly fall into place for us to start TTC.
The baby factory is permanently closed. We're 42/43, and I had a stroke 2 years ago due to hormonal birth control. My age and medical history make it too dangerous.
Post by WinterWine on Sept 8, 2014 16:41:11 GMT -5
Yes. We are focused on enjoying being a married couple for now though, working on our careers, saving aggressively, and traveling. We're thinking after our 5th anniversary. Though it's amazing how often we get asked now tgat we 're married. We're only 27/28 ppl- we still have time!!
We went to a birthday dinner last month with 13 ppl there. I got asked 12 times when we are having kids. I shot you not- H was the only person that didn't ask me. He got asked 8 times. The pressure is crazy. I'm just glad I have other friends of the same mindset...
Pregnant now. We're 33 and 36, married 7 years this month. We weren't really interested until about a year ago. I think as our siblings all had kids, we became more interested.
Pregnant now. We're 33 and 36, married 7 years this month. We weren't really interested until about a year ago. I think as our siblings all had kids, we became more interested.
Up and down, but overall much better than she was a few weeks ago. It's hard that progress is so slow---even though we both know that that's to be expected.
I just turned 37, and we both REALLY want kids. Between my age, her current medical issue, and the complications and expense of baby-making . . . it's weighing heavily on my mind these days.
Likely not at this point. We did in the beginning, then life got busy, health issues, living separate places, etc. I think DH would still like to, but the desire off me has drastically changed.
I feel kind of bad sometimes, but then, I think it's for the best. We're not preventing, but it is highly unlikely for us to get pregnant on our own. We would embrace a pregnancy and be happy, we're not going out of our way to make it happen. Earlier this year, we talked about trying for real, but I've sense changed my mind.
I would like to ditto this word for word.
I have been off bc for 3 years. One (failed) year of earnestly trying, and then an avalanche of 2013 derailed our plans. We're still in the not preventing but not actively trying camp.
However, after seeing 3 people announce on FB yesterday (3 months before my 35 birthday), I am a hot mess of emotion today.
Carrots, that is a very thoughtful answer. You are clearly thinking deeply about this and it is such an important, personal decision, certainly. Your plan sounds like a really good one, to put a timeline against reassessing and focus on You in the meantime.
Post by polarbearfans on Sept 8, 2014 18:25:00 GMT -5
Yes, we are trying. Probably won't have more than one, if any. My husband is already stressed out at the thought of one financially, but when is anyone truly ready like that? He worries about paying for college and what not, but that is something we can save over time the best we can without sacrificing our retirement. I am not too concerned about footing the entire bill. I had help with living expenses for college, but took a reasonable amount of loans out for my state school tuition.