Post by thatgirl2478 on Sept 8, 2014 20:33:24 GMT -5
Oh Jesus - nooooo!
Not even remotely the same - but once I stayed at my FIL's house and was making sure we got everything by checking under the bed (ie no socks or whatever were lost)... that's when I found a device and multiple magazines ... I can only hope that they were left there YEARS ago when that was my BIL's bedroom....
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
I legit don't understand. He brought this to your home, used it in the shower, and accidentally left it there? How did you even know what it was? Are you sure that's what it is? I've never heard of a fleshlight.
I'm sure. I was peeing, minding my own business, notice something on the soap-holder. WTF kind of loofah is that? It looks rubber, did the kids get a new bath to- HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD EXIT BATHROOM EXIT BATHROOM IMMEDIATELY. RUN TO GBCN AND READY THE GASOLINE AND MATCHES.
I would pretend I didn't see it and hope he remembers and grabs it and never says anything so both of you can go on pretending this never happened.
Please god, this. Say "Oh hey dad, can you bring me the ____ from the bathroom?" and pray like you've never prayed before that he finds it and takes it out of there. And then hire a biohazard cleaning company.
So what's he doing right now? Paint us a picture. You know, for your healing.
Is he all Zestfully clean? I bet he snapped his towel and clicked his heels when he got out.
I can't even... he came out of the shower and got table ready for dinner with my four year old. I made pork chops.
I discovered it after dinner. Now I'm furiously gagging and typing on one couch, and he's on the other couch watching super hero squad with the boys. Chatting casually and asking me the time. I JUST CAN'T.