Post by Mrs.Rad888 on Sept 16, 2014 22:33:16 GMT -5
I was at Target or Lowes this past weekend, and passed a couple who were talking. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but I did hear the guy say something about "going Ray Rice on your ass" then laughing. She didn't understand what the joke meant, and watching the guy explain it to her, her reaction, and his subsequent groveling was just amazing. There are just some things you don't joke about.
DH and I have decided that it's time to have the older cat put down. We've been watching him for about a year to make sure his daily quality of life is still good. It finally appears that the bad times outnumber the good times, so we have an appointment to have it done tomorrow. DH is pretty sensitive about his animals, and is having a hard time with doing this, so I'll be taking the cat to the vet. The cat is 16 or so years old, and has had a good life. DH says that he was a really good cat once upon a time, but I've only seen him as an asshole crotchety old-man cat. My flameful is that I don't feel very bad at all that it's time to put the cat down. I feel bad for DH and his sons, and I feel bad that the cat is in this shape, but I'm not going to miss an asshole cat.
H and I had heard through the grapevine that his exW and her H were on the verge of divorce. SD confessed to Viv that he has been threatening to leave because he can no longer handle SS and his behaviors. He is exhausted and has reached the point he just can't love SS because of all the problems.
The flameful is that I don't blame him at all and am about in the same place myself. SS had a growth spurt this summer that rendered his bipolar meds totally ineffective. He stayed 6 weeks with us and then his mom sent him back for an extra two weeks. It was pretty brutal.
I was thrilled when my work weekends ended up being the weekends he stays with us because I would be gone. I know this is horrible of me.
Not horrible at all. I believe mental illness is the hardest at all, and I commend you for supporting you husband through this as best you can. We all need a break sometime. I'm so sorry this summer has been so difficult for you all, and I hope you get SD's meds figured out soon. In fact, if this is really the main issue in your husband's ex-wife's marriage, I hope everything works out before things get too out of hand. Mental illness is so hard, because it ravages so many more than just the "ill" person.
Wait, what? I get letting parents help out, but you didn't answer her about how much, and decided to let her likely significantly overestimate (since she asked about multiple thousands)? Yeah, that's flameful.
Lol, no. It's just how it is with my Mom. She knows roughly how much the programs are per month, she just wants to pad it and throw some extra cash at me, but she pretends it's for a good cause. I don't have to lie for money. Yet.
You lucky duck! Thanks for not getting outraged by my question. I wish to have a relationship with my parents that's a cross between yours and tators !
From the sound of it, you have really great relationships. I love my parents to death, and we will always help each other out however we can, but:
- my dad is forever stuck in "old wold," Middle Eastern ideals, in which he is THE man of the family, and we can never do anything for them, even though we are much better off financially; and
- my mother is from a background where nothing is every good enough, no matter how hard you try. She is always honest to a fault; you always know where you stand, but you can never be perfect, and she's always pushing for perfection.
I love them both so much, but interacting with them has become so tiring, because they can't let us ever be friends, equals, or adults, and they will always be trying to mold us to their ideal.
I'm so glad for you that your mother knows, but still wants to shower you with extra, just because she can and loves to do so.
No. It wasn't like soaked in placenta, just a capsule sprinkled in here and there. Totally organic.
Cool. Thanks for answering. I wasn't trying to be offensive; I just never heard of smoking placenta before. So was it supposed to have the same benefits as a mother ingesting her own placenta, or was it more of a hippy-dippy circle of life thing? Either way, I think it's way cool.
mine is...My husband caught me having an affair a few weeks ago. we have decided to reconcile...but I still miss the other man.
Please, save his time and yours. It doesn't sound like you want to be married at all, or at least like you don't understand what that commitment really means.
How old are you?
Is this something common in your family?
In my life, I've found that cheating usually occurs in marriages when the cheater is very young and suddenly feeling trapped and/or the cheater has never had a close example of a monogamous relationship. For example, my husband's ex had grown up seeing women in her family repeatedly cheat and the men chase them down and beg them to come back, shower all sorts of new attention on the women, and then when the women no longer felt valued, the cycle would continue. She, also having married very young and before discovering all options available to her, thought she'd repeat this pattern.
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 16, 2014 22:53:27 GMT -5
Why is "going Ray Rice on your ass" even an expression that two humans have spoken? What the hell kind of world do we live in that this is an expression?
well Captain explained it pretty well. Im 28 married for 4 years. def trapped.
GTFO your marriage and stop hurting your spouse.
Yeah. Don't try to reconcile or try to spare anyone's feelings. All you will do is prolong the pain. You don't want to be married to this man. Set him free and let him start on the path to healing and a new, brighter future.
Yeah. Don't try to reconcile or try to spare anyone's feelings. All you will do is prolong the pain. You don't want to be married to this man. Set him free and let him start on the path to healing and a new, brighter future.
You're poetic. I was going to say, stop being a dick to your H who caught you and then forgave you, you jerk.
ETA : Except there were a lot more swear words in there which I refuse to type.
This is a bad idea the more i think about it...but I am guilty of still laughing.
On Friday we went on a booze cruise as a team building exercise.
Slightly (read quite a bit) drunk we all made our way back to the office to get our stuff. There was probably 20 of us on the elevator...one girl was getting off and taking FOREVER...one of our male collegues shouts out "hurry up and get odd before I go Ray Rice on your ass"
Uncontrollable laughter ensued.
I know everyone has moved on from this, but as someone who just got out of an extremely abusive marriage, I just want to say that you're a dick and absolutely disgusting. It's people like you who perpetuate the problem. It's totally fucking hilarious to make light of a situation that so many women go through and already feel ashamed about. Bravo.
I am trying to commit. We both have entered individual counselling and marriage counselling. I am trying to work through it but it's...fresh i guess? It was an emotional affair and he read my email. We do have 2 DD and I want to make it work for them.
I am trying to commit. We both have entered individual counselling and marriage counselling. I am trying to work through it but it's...fresh i guess? It was an emotional affair and he read my email. We do have 2 DD and I want to make it work for them.
I'm sorry, but you can't make it work if you feel trapped, and it's not going to help your children to have their parents in a bad marriage. All it will do is teach them dysfunctional relationship behaviors. Get out. Toy don't want to be married, and your are trying to make it work for all the wrong reasons. You have not expressed remorse or love for your husband in all your posts. Think about that.
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 17, 2014 0:07:16 GMT -5
@pippil did you post because you were looking for validation to leave without feeling guilty? If so, you have validation to leave, although you could have handled this much better.
Or did you post because you were expecting support on "staying together for the kids?" Because if you'd been around longer, you might know that's not generally the sentiment here.
I posted because it was flamefuls and i'm a few drinks in to be honest. I've been honest with my H in that I don't know what I want, which is why we are both in counselling. He's a good man and I am going through other issues with myself and we don't want to divorce without knowing this is what I really want.
I don't expect anyone here to be supportive of me in the least.
I am trying to commit. We both have entered individual counselling and marriage counselling. I am trying to work through it but it's...fresh i guess? It was an emotional affair and he read my email. We do have 2 DD and I want to make it work for them.
Don't stay for the kids. Really. That's like one of the worst reasons to stay.
You stick it out for the kids, you're giving them completely dysfunctional ideas of what marriage is about. On top of the fact that you're wasting yours and your H's time and chance to have a happy life.
Post by noodleskooze on Sept 17, 2014 9:20:12 GMT -5
@littlemoxie I might be PMing you about it when the time comes! I wonder if I can use an HSA to pay for something like that...hm. My recovery was long last time--I wasn't cleared until 9 weeks, and my supply was always low (although I'm sure EPing contributed to that too).
Post by pantsparty on Sept 17, 2014 9:37:15 GMT -5
I should be grateful that my parents have been smart enough with my dad's blue-collar earnings to have a healthy retirement, but no. I want the parents that are throwing bennies my way!
I posted because it was flamefuls and i'm a few drinks in to be honest. I've been honest with my H in that I don't know what I want, which is why we are both in counselling. He's a good man and I am going through other issues with myself and we don't want to divorce without knowing this is what I really want.
I don't expect anyone here to be supportive of me in the least.
i can be supportive. you did something wrong, but not to me, so i'm here for you. how did he catch you? it's ok to take time to figure out how you want to move forward. if you are staying with your H for now, then really commit to working it out. if you can't do that, you have to move on or seperate or something. if only for the sake of your H's feelings.
Thank you.
I was being very distant and he went through my phone and emails while I was out for a run. I am comitting to it, or trying to. I think I should clarify that when I said that I missed him, I missed the connection I thought I had with someone and H and I have discussed that are working on trying to get that back in our marriage. I made a stupid mistake and especially with kids in the mix, neither of us want to make decisions out of anger right now.
Wait, what? I get letting parents help out, but you didn't answer her about how much, and decided to let her likely significantly overestimate (since she asked about multiple thousands)? Yeah, that's flameful.
OMG, my mom's washing machine broke, mid cycle. She is on her way over here with a garbage bag full of soaking wet clothes. I love my mom, but i'm fucking tired and do not feel like having to talk to her. I told her as much. lol
For a second I read this as a wishing machine and I was wishing for one.
i can be supportive. you did something wrong, but not to me, so i'm here for you. how did he catch you? it's ok to take time to figure out how you want to move forward. if you are staying with your H for now, then really commit to working it out. if you can't do that, you have to move on or seperate or something. if only for the sake of your H's feelings.
Thank you.
I was being very distant and he went through my phone and emails while I was out for a run. I am comitting to it, or trying to. I think I should clarify that when I said that I missed him, I missed the connection I thought I had with someone and H and I have discussed that are working on trying to get that back in our marriage. I made a stupid mistake and especially with kids in the mix, neither of us want to make decisions out of anger right now.
Only you can decide what is best for you. My H didn't know what he wanted for a really long time. He is now fully committed to me and our children. I think we are going to be stronger for it. Good luck, PM me if you need anything.