riverpestie I know this wasn't directed to me, but I'll answer. Cooking and food is a really important part of my life. Even living in PDX there are limited vegan options. I also don't want to hassle with two different meals for dinner, etc. I'm sure if I met someone and then found out they were vegan I wouldn't brush them off, but online I would.
I don't want to highjack mcc's post, so sorry!
In our house, FI cooks his own food and I cook mine, so no one is cooking two meals... If one person is late coming home or in a rush, we'll ask one another to start the oven or stove or something. I am just saying that it makes me sad when someone is nixed because of lifestyle decisions that don't even really affect the other person. Especially, when a great match could be made with solutions that aren't bad at all. Food (pun intended ) for thought.
riverpestie I totally get that, but cooking together and enjoying meals together is a big part of what I seem in relationships. I show a lot of love through food so it wouldn't work for me you know? Other types of preferences outside of food probably wouldn't be as big of deal to me you know? I would totally understand that vice versa a vegan wouldn't want to date me
riverpestie I totally get that, but cooking together and enjoying meals together is a big part of what I seem in relationships. I show a lot of love through food so it wouldn't work for me you know? Other types of preferences outside of food probably wouldn't be as big of deal to me you know? I would totally understand that vice versa a vegan wouldn't want to date me
riverpestie I totally get that, but cooking together and enjoying meals together is a big part of what I seem in relationships. I show a lot of love through food so it wouldn't work for me you know? Other types of preferences outside of food probably wouldn't be as big of deal to me you know? I would totally understand that vice versa a vegan wouldn't want to date me
That totally makes sense! Everyone has their own way of sharing/showing love. I didn't think of it this way!
I have never been the type of person that cooks/prepares food together with an SO, so this didn't even cross my mind.
riverpestie I know this wasn't directed to me, but I'll answer. Cooking and food is a really important part of my life. Even living in PDX there are limited vegan options. I also don't want to hassle with two different meals for dinner, etc. I'm sure if I met someone and then found out they were vegan I wouldn't brush them off, but online I would.
I don't want to highjack mcc's post, so sorry!
In our house, FI cooks his own food and I cook mine, so no one is cooking two meals... If one person is late coming home or in a rush, we'll ask one another to start the oven or stove or something. I am just saying that it makes me sad when someone is nixed because of lifestyle decisions that don't even really affect the other person. Especially, when a great match could be made with solutions that aren't bad at all. Food (pun intended ) for thought.
Meh, I would prefer to be with someone I can cook WITH and share food with and so on. I was raised Vegan and have a lot of vegan friends, so I know it can be kind of a pain eating out can be (in Oklahoma anyway, it is WAY easier in Austin). I wouldn't automatically say no to someone because they are vegan, though. However, when you have your FB cover photo all Vegan and proud, he is probably one of THOSE people who is in your face about it (which is annoying no matter if you are all "everyone must eat meat" or "meat is murder").
Post by peppermint on Sept 19, 2014 10:42:44 GMT -5
i'll echo what everyone else said and remind you mcc that you are the real winner here. you've made a career change and you're kicking ass, you're gorgeous, and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. i'd feel the same way you do and i think your emotions are natural, but you need to be reminded that you are awesome, and in the marathon of life, you're clearly coming out ahead.
Post by jellymankelly on Sept 19, 2014 11:41:38 GMT -5
I want to ditto the "mcc is fabulous" comments, and have a seat on the "I'm sad over some douchebag" bench for a moment. I'm in a relationship and I'm happy with the way things are, but I found out this week that a guy I dated for a minute 2 years ago got married recently. He's a horrible person. Genuinely horrible. He enjoyed saying mean things to me after we stopped seeing each other, to the point of me having to block his number and block him on FB. Dude even contacted me 6 months after we last spoke to talk shit to me. He got married to a woman who was his "friend" when he and I were seeing each other, which means she was probably his GF then and he was cheating with me and a host of other women (some of whom he sent me naked selfies of after we stopped dating...gross). Anyway, it made me sad, and it is hard to say why. Do I want to be with him? Nope. Do I want to be married right now? Nope. I guess it's just that I want someone to WANT to be married to me...which is ridiculous. I get the sad feelings.
Post by Wanderista on Sept 19, 2014 11:52:44 GMT -5
I just want to say that I hope you feel better. I know it's easy to say but just focus on living and enjoying your life as much as you can. I've had feelings like that before about exes and also about ex-best friends, well, one ex-best friend in particular. I'm now at a point where I don't care and I'm enjoying my life but it took a while to get there. This has been especially true whenever I'd hit road bumps in life. I think it's normal to feel like that sometimes as long as you don't dwell on it. It is then really great to get to a point where you no longer care.
riverpestie for the same reason I won't date someone who is kosher. Food and restaurants are a big part of my life and I don't want to have to sacrifice that for someone who chooses not eat certain things. Plus most vegans I know are self righteous proselytizers.
However that statement was really just a tongue in cheek way of making myself feel better during a really bad night. Now I'm annoyed to be honest. I really posted for hugs and hair pats and not an analysis of my dating choices.
Just realized today is my divorce anniversary. Maybe I'm alone because I'm too picky. Eye roll
Post by stephreloaded on Sept 19, 2014 14:04:35 GMT -5
I am sorry you are feeling that way. Even though you don't will ill on anyone, you usually really hope that karma doesn't make it easier for people like him.
I do feel bad for the person he is with and I hope he is not as bad as he was during your marriage.
riverpestie for the same reason I won't date someone who is kosher. Food and restaurants are a big part of my life and I don't want to have to sacrifice that for someone who chooses not eat certain things. Plus most vegans I know are self righteous proselytizers.
However that statement was really just a tongue in cheek way of making myself feel better during a really bad night. Now I'm annoyed to be honest. I really posted for hugs and hair pats and not an analysis of my dating choices.
Just realized today is my divorce anniversary. Maybe I'm alone because I'm too picky. Eye roll
Wow.
I am sorry if I offended you. That was not the reason behind my question. I was honestly asking because I was curious and I thought I would explain my situation to help provide background on why I was asking. PDX had a great response as to why she wouldn't date one, and I wrote that I understood and didn't think of it in that way. I like this board because it is interesting to see different view points on topics that I probably wouldn't have thought of, this is one of those times.
I never said that you were too picky. I would never say anything like that, I am not that type of person. I have been on this board for years, I would think you would "know" me better than that...
I'm sorry. I know how you're feeling right now. Im going thru a similar situation. I'll echo others- you are fab and you're winning. Now go enjoy the wknd!
riverpestie I totally get that, but cooking together and enjoying meals together is a big part of what I seem in relationships. I show a lot of love through food so it wouldn't work for me you know? Other types of preferences outside of food probably wouldn't be as big of deal to me you know? I would totally understand that vice versa a vegan wouldn't want to date me
I totally agree with this.
Same here. I like sharing meals and cooking for my SO
Same here. I like sharing meals and cooking for my SO
Third Indian here, making and sharing food is big for me. I love to cook, and the things I enjoy making/eating are far from vegan. It would be sad for me if someone couldn't eat the things I am great at making, or the feasts that my family makes, we are a very food-oriented family. I have friends that are vegan and am happy to accommodate their diets when we go out to eat but I don't think I could do it constantly with someone I live with. It's kind of like when I tried to date the guy that hated the beach, you would think in New England where we can only go to the beach a few months a year, that I could suck it up and go with friends instead. But I couldn't, it's one if the things I want to enjoy with an SO.
Same here. I like sharing meals and cooking for my SO
Third Indian here, making and sharing food is big for me. I love to cook, and the things I enjoy making/eating are far from vegan. It would be sad for me if someone couldn't eat the things I am great at making, or the feasts that my family makes, we are a very food-oriented family. I have friends that are vegan and am happy to accommodate their diets when we go out to eat but I don't think I could do it constantly with someone I live with. It's kind of like when I tried to date the guy that hated the beach, you would think in New England where we can only go to the beach a few months a year, that I could suck it up and go with friends instead. But I couldn't, it's one if the things I want to enjoy with an SO.
Agreed. I'm not sure why people who fall into certain categories get all offended when others aren't into them. Some people won't date me because I'm divorced, but I'm likely not going to change their mind so calling them "sad" and failing to understand or accept someone's reasons or making them explain a personal choice just because you're not part of the chosen group, is useless. We all have preferences--that's what makes relationships work or not work. I also wouldn't date someone who goes camping because that's not something I enjoy and I want to enjoy certain parts of my life with a SO. I'm sure riverpestie wouldn't date someone who hunts as a major hobby. Food to me is a big part of my life and so I make choices to spend time with people who enjoy what I enjoy.
That fact that vegans (or anyone really) would see themselves as so special because of moral choices to not understand that people naturally exclude others with different interests, or rather naturally include others with similar interests, is very short-sighted to me. You do your thing, that's great if it makes you happy, but I shouldn't have to explain myself when something that you do doesn't mesh with something that I do or what's important to me.
I agree mcc. People are different and have different interests. It IS those types of things that make people compatible or not. Of course we all have differences, but some are easy to deal with while others can be more difficult to accommodate. The food thing can be major, as can alcohol, or drugs or major fitness buffs dating someone who could care less about fitness or a million other things. One of my coworkers went out with a guy a couple of times and broke it off because he was vegan and super into fitness. She's Dominican and loves to cook her traditional foods like all the delicious pork!! Yum. For her, it couldn't work and I totally get it.
Same here. I like sharing meals and cooking for my SO
Third Indian here, making and sharing food is big for me. I love to cook, and the things I enjoy making/eating are far from vegan. It would be sad for me if someone couldn't eat the things I am great at making, or the feasts that my family makes, we are a very food-oriented family. I have friends that are vegan and am happy to accommodate their diets when we go out to eat but I don't think I could do it constantly with someone I live with. It's kind of like when I tried to date the guy that hated the beach, you would think in New England where we can only go to the beach a few months a year, that I could suck it up and go with friends instead. But I couldn't, it's one if the things I want to enjoy with an SO.
Totallyyy agree, I also love to cook and eat all types of food. Call me closed minded but to me a vegan or vegetarian would be a deal breaker. Just the idea of leaving with someone vegan depressed me.
Post by riverpestie on Sept 24, 2014 9:11:45 GMT -5
I actually married a hunter (he would hunt deer, pheasant, duck, and quail), but that's neither here nor there at this point. When he and I were still married, we had a deer head (that he killed when he was like 10 or 11 or something like that) and and entire duck on our walls. I was surprised to see that their little feet have mini-claws on them! Yeah, those came down as soon as we separated! LOL!!!
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