Post by spunkypenguin on Oct 8, 2014 18:35:23 GMT -5
I know you've said you don't want to leave this place, but they've made it pretty clear that they do not value you as a client. You tried to engage in a conversation and they are not responding. I would definitely find somewhere that I felt more comfortable. Working out is supposed to relieve stress and anxiety, not create it!
Post by secretlyevil on Oct 8, 2014 18:37:17 GMT -5
What's been the situation with your H? Did you explain to him you were feeling really unsupported?
Also, I'm glad you listened to everyone on here. You don't deserve to be injured further and abused because of some people who want to play at being a coach.
DH is insisting that we go and talk to the coach:(
Um, why? I'm reeeeally not trying to question your DH, but this is...weird. Doesn't he understand how you feel? You sent that email and no one responded. That's all the answer you need. If you go there and talk to him face to face, he's going to make all kinds of excuses. Then I suspect your DH will say "see? all is well" and you'll still be unhappy there.
DH is insisting that we go and talk to the coach:(
Um, why? I'm reeeeally not trying to question your DH, but this is...weird. Doesn't he understand how you feel? You sent that email and no one responded. That's all the answer you need. If you go there and talk to him face to face, he's going to make all kinds of excuses. Then I suspect your DH will say "see? all is well" and you'll still be unhappy there.
I haven't had a chance to post in here until now, but ditto everything taratru said right here. They treated you in a way that is completely unacceptable, and then ignored you when you tried to say something about it. There's nothing to discuss here. Depending on where you live, there are very likely other crossfit boxes nearby, and they're bound to treat you better than this place (one would hope).
And just to echo the sentiments of all the PPs, leaving this box is absolutely NOT quitting. You would be leaving because they are irresponsible and dangerous, and are treating you terribly. Protecting yourself from further injury and taking your money elsewhere is just a smart move.
DH is insisting that we go and talk to the coach:(
OMG. I am so angry at everyone for you right now. Why, WHY, would you want to go out of your way to talk to this person who can't be bothered to respond to your email? They are continuing to show you how little they are concerned for your wellbeing.
What is your DH's deal with this gym? There are others, no? He could stay and you could go. Honestly, screw all of us, and really....who really cares what your DH wants, what do YOU want?
Post by secretlyevil on Oct 8, 2014 20:56:19 GMT -5
You might want to remind him that you are PAYING (probably a redic amount) to be in a safe and healthy environment, this is no longer one. He doesn't get to treat you like a child either. I don't know the entire situation but just this one incident would have had me telling the coach to take his box and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. That so called coach was telling you to ignore doctors' orders. He was yelling at you and made you feel less than comfortable. What if you hadn't been smart? What if you had done what that asshole had said and ended reinjuring yourself or making it worse? I apologize if this comes across as harsh, it's not directed at you.
There's a stupid box on every bloody corner. Hell, even if there wasn't, there's six thousand different gyms to choose from. Your health, wellbeing and comfort is the ONLY thing that matters. If the place means so much to him, tell your H he can stay and you'll be going to a different box, end of story, no need for further discussion.
Post by foundmylazybum on Oct 8, 2014 21:36:51 GMT -5
This is nuts. Look no offense but it's not like you and your dh are professional athletes under some sort of cross fit contract with this gym right? Stop the over complicated nonsense.
Seriously you both need to come back to reality here. You...are crying in a bathroom and getting yelled at by people you pay. These coaches don't respect you or the level you are at.
The people you pay don't appear to take feedback seriously.
This place sucks
It's not quitting. C'mon. Get real. It's making a wise financial and emotional choice.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Oct 9, 2014 7:12:02 GMT -5
Is there a back story here? Is the gym owned by your husband's friend or something? I don't understand why he won't let this go, unless there's more behind this.
At this point, I would just this shit down. I would tell your H, you're done there and it's not up for discussion. You would appreciate his support, but are going to agree to disagree.
I'm sorry your H is acting like this. I would be soooooo pissed, but if you don't want to make this molehill into a mountain just tell him the conversation is over. You won't go to a place where you are disrespected and yelled at. Hell to the no. You deserve better.
I hope you're able to find some resolution that everyone can live with. Was your H there when this happened? Maybe he doesn't know the full extent to what they did. That is my only saving grace. Read him what you wrote in your initial post.
You might want to remind him that you are PAYING (probably a redic amount) to be in a safe and healthy environment, this is no longer one. He doesn't get to treat you like a child either.
This was my first reaction when I read the update. Insisting? Newp. No thank you.
Look, he obviously thought you were a big girl & could handle yourself when you were being humiliated and ridiculed. He didn't step in on your behalf. He let you handle it. He needs to do that now and back off a bit. Unless we're missing something and you've asked him to help you deal with this. If that's the case, do what you'd like, but he should not be insisting anything of you.
I can't imagine my husband not backing me up on something like this. But it seems like he has some strong ties to this gym that are overriding his support for you. In that case, Is there a reason you guys have to go to the same gym? If this happened to me and my husband didn't have my back, I'd just go ahead and join another gym on my own.
You are being bullied by that bitch in the gym, and the coaches. I don't want to make assumptions about your spouse, but it also seems like you are being bullied/belittled/whatever by him too
Post by secretlyevil on Oct 9, 2014 9:49:58 GMT -5
I hope you realize no one is trying cause a rift between you and your H. We obviously don't have the entire back story. We just want you to do what is best for you. A pp already mentioned this but it's worth repeating. Don't listen to us, don't listen to your H or that wanna be coach, what is it that YOU want to do?
DH is insisting that we go and talk to the coach:(
Has he said why he wants you guys to go talk to the coach in person? Because he's giving them the benefit of the doubt and hoping this was a one time thing, they'll apologize, and swear it'll never happen again? Because they haven't responded to your email yet? Because he's convinced that somehow you interpreted the situation wrong and are blowing it out of proportion?
Wellll....I don't see anything wrong with a face-to-face conversation over email. Who knows - maybe you'll all be able to work things out? And if not then you can say you tried your best!
I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this. If a conversation is going to happen, I think the coach/owner should be the one to initiate it. The lack of response feels very disrespectful to me. They are a service provider and business owner and they're supposed to have your safety in mind at all times.
Do you know why your DH feels so strongly about staying there? I know the deal with CF is that it has a community feel and you develop relationships, but this doesn't sounds like a healthy or productive one. Any friends that you guys have made that are worth keeping will understand your decision to leave. I'm sorry if you feel like you don't have support.
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not overreacting and this is exercise. It is hard enough on its own. You need a safe environment where you can have fun.
BTW, DH and I never workout together. Maybe this is something you two should consider as an individual activity. He obviously likes it there so find a place that works for you.
Everyone has already said what I would. Just leave. You've got your answer by not getting an answer. Maybe your husband is insisting because he still wants to go and be on good terms. He should continue to go if he wants. This is between you and the gym. Not him
DH went and talked to the coach and then insisted I go and talk to the coach/owner. I did - it was pointless. He told me that he had a problem with me stating in my email that "it's my body and that I will choose which exercises/weights I will do" and basically told me that running will only injure me again and that if I choose to continue to run that I shouldn't cross fit. He ignored all of the issues and just attacked me for running
Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. You need to find another box. The two can very much compliment one another! Our box is so supportive of running they will taper workouts before races, work with you on running efficiency technique and weaknesses. There's no reason you can't do both.
Um NO. Just NO. Sorry, but you need to get out of there. It is not good for you! I am also kind of upset your husband went to go speak to the coach. Hugs to you!!
Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. You need to find another box. The two can very much compliment one another! Our box is so supportive of running they will taper workouts before races, work with you on running efficiency technique and weaknesses. There's no reason you can't do both.
This is how it should be! . I'm not a cross fitter, but why on earth would any coach be unsupportive of your personal fitness goals??
This gym is unbelievable. And I don't know what your relationship is with your husband, and I don't want to assume anything. But in all honesty, mine would be sleeping in the guest room for a long time if he pulled this.