I don't think it would occur to either of them to tell me that they are. I have heard them tell other people things about me that would lead me to believe they are. one of the greatest compliments from my father was that of the kids (there are 6 of us) I am the most like him and if something needs to be done, I get it done, however I can. So I guess he is?
Post by open24hours on Oct 20, 2014 14:41:00 GMT -5
I barely speak to my mom, so I have no idea. I would guess no.
My dad is proud of me. Aside from telling me, he has also told me he is impressed with my career trajectory and he wants to show me off to his friends every time I visit him.
Post by aprilsails on Oct 20, 2014 14:45:40 GMT -5
Most definitely. They've said it aloud at all major life events, and while they wouldn't bring it up in casual conversation they definitely boast about my accomplishments to their friends and acquaintances. I can tell when I meet them and they start quizzing me all about my life.
Now, my Mom is thoroughly disappointed in my lack of desire to provide her with grandchildren, but she doesn't know we're working on that.
I think that both of my parents are proud of my sisters and I. However; my father was much more vocal about telling us along with telling others that he meet or knew how proud he was of my sisters, our husbands and I. When my father passed, we had people who attended the funeral who never in a million years would I have guessed knew about our lives and made sure to tell us how much our father was proud of us and that he let them all know.
My mom on the other hand is not an emtional person, so it's much harder for her to come out and say it. However; in her own way she does show us and we know that she is proud of us.
I do my best to let my son know how proud I am of him and what a wonderful person he's growing into.
Post by autumnfire on Oct 20, 2014 14:54:36 GMT -5
It always felt like they wanted more, specifically my dad. I'm very proud of my accomplishments specifically in Academics and Athletics. My father on the other hand doesn't let me live down that I'm not in the Olympics along side some of the girls I played hockey with/against. One girl in particular he just doesn't let me live down and I feel like I'm forever in her shadow. Meanwhile I just didn't have the drive to go there, I am and was happy with the level of hockey I made it to. Anyways I have daddy issues and was hit/beat for not playing good in sports (Long story... :/).
The fact that I got a full scholarship to an American University that had a D1 hockey team meant little to them. Actually showed by them coming to at most 5 games during my collegiate years 2 of which were my first 2 home games and the other two was my senior year / senior game. It's sad considering both of my brothers were out of the house/going to college at the same time.
Wow I went into to much. Sorry about that.
It stung and still stings but it taught me some very valuable lessons in how I'll raise my daughter. One of them was, you should praise your kid for their accomplishments, you can do that while still encouraging them to grow. My parents clearly didn't know how to do that without making you feel like your accomplishment could have been 'better'.
My dad died when I was in college, and I would say yes and no about him being proud of me. I think he was proud of my accomplishments, but I am not sure I he was proud of the person I turned out to be (nor would he be if he was alive today). That makes me sound like I am terrible, but it was actually the opposite. I am positive he would have preferred a meek, stereotypical woman who "knows her role" (which is in the kitchen, lol). I don't think he was or would have been bursting at the seams with pride that he raised a daughter who is the complete opposite of that. Oh well.
My mom is proud and she tells me a lot. I think she is making up for my childhood when she basically never told me she was proud of me and nothing was really good enough for her or my dad.
Thank you. Again long story (CPS did get involved but I lied and told them nothing was going on I was in grade 4 when they came. I was scared to go into the system and loose my brothers) but I love my dad and I forgive him for what he did but I won't ever forget.
I've made sure to even write blog posts to my daughter, if something should heaven forbid ever happen to me I want her to be able to read (I'm printing them in a digital scrapbook for her) how proud of her I am/was, how much she lights up my life and how much I love her. Weird I know, but I didn't hear it enough as a kid that I think I'm trying to make up for it. I'm letting her know what I would have loved to hear as a scared little girl. What frankly every child should genuinely hear and feel.
Post by sicilygirl on Oct 20, 2014 15:09:48 GMT -5
I think my parents are proud of me, but I don't feel it from them. I know that they have told me that they are proud of me, but I guess I just don't believe them. They seem to have no interest in my life. This is mainly a problem with my mom. It feels like she thinks my life is worthless because I am 30 and childless. It's been a problem for a while, but it got a lot worse when my brother had a baby. And now that he lives with my parents, I just can't compete. My job/husband/travel are just not interesting to them when they could be talking about their granddaughter.
I also think they don't feel like I need to hear their affirmations because I've just always had my shit together. I'm the youngest, but I've been married the longest/am the only one that owns a house/the only one who has been consistently employed/etc. So they focus on my brothers and tend to ignore me.
Whatever. It's a super sore subject for me lately.
Once I finally grew out of just doing whatever my mom said/letting my mom control my life she kind of lost interest in me. The fact that I'm independent, think for myself, and that dh and I have no desire to just live in our shit-hole home town, work the same jobs forever, and pop out babies disappoints her, I can tell. I'm fairly certain, in her eyes, I've failed because I'm almost 29 and have yet to have a baby.
She does like to take credit for the person I am/my accomplishments on public platforms though. Like in her anniversary post to my dad on fb (for the record, my dad doesn't even have fb).
My dad has basically straight up told me that he's proud of me for not becoming my mother. Other than that? I think my life just baffles him.
It's taken a while but I'm pretty much ok with that now though. Dh is crazy proud of me and so are my inlaws.
Post by Captain Serious on Oct 20, 2014 15:15:26 GMT -5
In some ways they are. They are proud of my family, how we are with the boys, and how involved we are in our community. I think they are disappointed that we are very guarded of or family and our time; we don't spend time or energy on toxic people just because they are family, and do they feel I don't fulfill all my family obligations. I know this because they ate both very open with me...sometimes to a fault.
I used to really let it bother me, but then I thought of all of the things I'd have to do/the person I'd have to be to make them proud and that's just not going to happen. That's not me, you know?
I know my mom is. She tells me all the time. She knows how hard I have worked and all of the things that I have accomplished. We were brought up to have more than she did and we have achieved it.
Post by miniroller on Oct 20, 2014 15:36:19 GMT -5
My parents are. They've always made it pretty clear. H's parents- not so much (for him but really, not me either). He struggles with it, but would never admit it I think my parents have verbally expressed their pride in him more than his parents have, even though they've only known him 1/4 as long.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Oct 20, 2014 15:48:37 GMT -5
Yes, they tell me often and use specific examples, especially when I'm freaking about something (aka constantly). They have always been very vocal about this. It's something that really means a lot to me because I have a huge fear of failure and am very self critical, and I think they are so vocal because of that.
Post by revolution on Oct 20, 2014 15:55:49 GMT -5
Yes. They both tell me all of the time they are proud of me. Well, my dad did when he was still alive. And they use examples or tell me why.
That said, I was actually thinking about this on the way into work, to an extent. I am good at what I do. I graduated college with honors in a subject that isn't very popular. BUT, this stuff just comes easy to me. Part of me feels like I've chosen the easy way out because I know I really can't fail doing this. Where as if I were to choose a different path that I had to actually work at, I could fail. So I take a path that is easy for me, although not easy for most, knowing I can't fail. Why? Don't get me wrong, I work hard. And it is challenging. But I know I can do it and do it well.