I would usually not make plans without my h on a saturday night. He works so much during the week that that night is our only reliable evening/night time together and we want to do something with each other. But I would never make a declaration like "I'm never doing anything on Saturdays without him! Gavel!" That part seems extreme.
Hmm I have never thought of Saturdays as sacred or anything, but we do tend to go be together on Saturday nights.
I wouldn't turn down a solo or girls event though just because it was on a Saturday. Monthly girls dinner is on Tuesdays and I have standing plans on Thursday nights. I probably see friends without DH a few other times per month.
We socialize- either go out or host - every Friday and Saturday night- with or without DD. And yes, usually together as I noted above.
saturday nights are so not sacred in our house. h has a standing commitment on saturday nights so i'm always home doing bedtime solo and he's out from 6:00-9:30ish. if he has a week off from that commitment he almost always joins his nerd friends (who are mostly single and/or childless dudes) for board games and beer.
i've never been one to go out in the evening, any evening of the week, with friends. it's just not how my current friend group rolls. we do lots of day dates or hanging out on the weekends (usually afternoons) with spouses.
No baby yet, but a lot of my friends have kids. Days out vary--can be any day. Fridays and Saturdays are common. My mom friends don't do a lot of nights on the town, but no one seems too concerned about day of the week as long as child care is available.
DH is actually pretty fine when I go out on Saturdays without him when we spend all day together.
Post by turtlegirl on Oct 23, 2014 22:45:05 GMT -5
My mom's group has a mom's night out about once a month or maybe every 6 weeks. It's 95% of the time on a Saturday night. Almost all of us work and don't want to go out during a weeknight or a Friday night. Usually it's dinner and a movie or a pedicure or shopping.
My DH is off work every Th and F. He works weekends and he works until 9pm most nights. I do try to reserve Th and F evenings for time with him, because otherwise we really never see each other.
That being said, I go out for girls night usually twice a month or so. And yes, sometimes on Saturdays
Do you ever go out without your SO on a Saturday night? Not habitually, but do/would you occasionally use Saturday night for a girls’ night out (or guys’ night out, Niq!)?
And if your SO travels a lot, do you only go out without him/her when he/she is traveling? Would your answer change if your SO’s time off was equally as common as time spent traveling (i.e., the SO travels for a long stretch and is then off for a long stretch)?
Just curious. I have some friends whose habits are, in my experience, unique when it comes to this stuff. I wonder if I am more in the minority than I realize.
yes. Frequently. Dh does not like to go out as much as I do.
I'm also at the point where doing anything on a Friday is probably not going to happen. Most Fridays, lately, we're both in bed by 9:00. Lame!
I'd say the norm in my group is that if we're getting together on a Saturday, husbands are usually included. Actually, usually babies are included, too, but I think that's mainly because most of us are either still nursing or want to snuggle up with the babies! I'm sure that will change as the babies get older and easier to leave with a sitter.
I would say your friend's rule is fairly arbitrary. Is it unbreakable? If there was a concert or special event on a Saturday would she decline simply because her H wasn't included?
Post by chickens987 on Oct 24, 2014 5:20:48 GMT -5
I generally don't go out on Saturday nights without H - that's because he's been working on the house all day, I've been out with DD all day, and I am beat and want to see him at least a little. That being said, I took DD to a party last Saturday evening without him. We were home by bedtime.
I've been out once when H was traveling and left DD with my sister overnight. That was for a MMM gtg, though, so special circumstances!
My girl time is usually not on a Saturday night, but it's not because it's off limits; we're just more likely to go grab dinner after work or meet up to go running one weekend morning or something. That's a function of most of my friends either being coworkers or running buddies, though. Most of my closer friends aren't local.
When we do girls nights they tend to be on Friday or Saturday nights. No, I don't feel bad about leaving my H and kids. DH works weekends, so I have to get a baby sitter sometimes.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Oct 24, 2014 6:51:07 GMT -5
Not often, mainly because we have the same friends, but it does happen from time to time. Most often it happens when DH has a commitment related to his choir on Friday or Saturday and I go to board game night (which he'd normally also be at) without him.
Post by jeaniebueller on Oct 24, 2014 7:48:36 GMT -5
Uh, yes. If I do a GNO, its going to be on a Friday or Saturday night, otherwise what is the point? When my H is out of town, I generally don't go out because of the babysitting situation, unless my mom or MIL are in town.
It's pretty rare for me to go out on a Friday or Saturday night at all, but if I do, I reserve it for time with DH. I do go to my book club and other moms night out type stuff maybe once every other week, but that's during the week after DH gets home from work.
Not often, but yes. In fact, I will be doing that tomorrow night!
However, during the week, I'm out without him a lot in the evenings between the gym and other stuff. This week I've been out on my own every single night between the gym, my hair appointment, a million errands, and book club! I don't feel guilty about it because not every week is like this one.
I go out with coworkers once a month on Friday night. Other girls nights out are during the week because many of my friends don't want to miss Saturday night with their husbands, who often travel during the week for work. I get it. If MH traveled I wouldn't want to miss out on weekend time together. Usually MH is the one going out on Saturday night though. He has a very busy social calendar and I don't mind hanging at home with the kids. We go out together probably twice a month.
Post by leonard131 on Oct 24, 2014 12:21:34 GMT -5
I have a group of friends without kids so I tend to meet up with them either a Friday or Saturday night without H. Normally it is after M goes to bed. Probably do this once a month to 6 weeks.
Yes! Girls' nights....it's funny because I'll go months without seeing my friends' husbands or (especially) kids because of girls' nights and couples nights out.
Post by water*drop on Oct 24, 2014 13:18:54 GMT -5
Oh, I will say that when DH and I worked opposite shifts, Saturday nights were our nights. We would occasionally do our own things on a Saturday night, but it was really rare since we basically didn't see each other at all during the week. I totally get it when people on opposite shifts or with a spouse who travels frequently make those kinds of rules for themselves.
Post by dragonfly08 on Oct 24, 2014 13:27:51 GMT -5
When my kids were younger, my mom friends and I went out fairly regularly. Not usually on Saturday night, but we weren't against it. I think we just preferred weeknights b/c the places we went weren't as busy so less waiting and we bothered fewer people. :-) It's pretty much died off off in the last few years b/c with our kids being older, activities just run too often and late...since a bunch of us are SAHMs we've just moved to smaller, mostly one on one, get togethers during the school day instead.
I missed the Saturday-specific part the first time. It's less likely that I'd go out without him on a Saturday, but I don't have anything against it. We normally wind up doing things together on weekend nights, but it's not off limits if there was something I wanted to do without him on a Saturday.
Post by dancingirl21 on Oct 24, 2014 14:59:00 GMT -5
Yep I do go out without him. My sister and I will often go to dinner/ a movie together on the weekends. I've also met up with the girls for drinks. He does the same and neither of us feel bad about it.
DH works late most week nights. If I want to hang out with a friend without springing for a sitter, then Saturday night it is. Ditto for his guys' night out.
When DD was younger, I used to invite friends over after she went to bed, but that doesn't really work for us anymore.
Post by gibbinator on Oct 24, 2014 18:41:56 GMT -5
If I had an invitation to go out I would take it. A couple friends of mine started going on girls night movie dates last winter. We kind of got busy and haven't seen each other for awhile. I don't enjoy going out alone but would happily send the kids to grammy's so I can stay home alone.