Funny mom group posts

[roo54]

Sounds like it could be my SIL. She said at 10 months old that my nephew was too advanced for his excersaucer and that they needed to put it away because he was so bored of it.

My DD still goes into the corner where hers is and plays with the stuff on it.

[dulcemariamar]

Can you imagine what her future posts are going to sound like?

[browneyedgirl9]

Omg, i cant. Lol.

Sounds like a high school friend of mine

[smock]

I must know what shocking abilities this newborn has!

[curbsideprophet]

Oct 27, 2014 5:57:33 GMT -5 smock said:

I must know what shocking abilities this newborn has!

This is what I want to know.

[cincodemayo]

What kind of abilities of a one month old shock the world? I sure hope it's crawling or saying her first word already.

[scribellesam]

I have a Facebook friend like this, her poor precious genius is just constantly too brilliant for the mundane world surrounding him. I find it quite entertaining. She just had her second, I'm curious to see if he's as brilliant and misunderstood as her oldest.

[leonard131]

hmmmmmm.  My thought would be not that my kid is a genius but he is cranky PIA and won't play on  his mat and give me a 5 minutes of alone time not holding him.  :-)

Why do I see this kids future not going well because the won't hold up the the unbelievable expecations they set at 1 month old.

[meij]

I posted a comment on FB on my BILs new baby's picture and he responded that she was already ahead in gross and fine motor skills and was very smart. She was six hours old.

[heygrey]

Oct 27, 2014 11:05:41 GMT -5 meij said:

I posted a comment on FB on my BILs new baby's picture and he responded that she was already ahead in gross and fine motor skills and was very smart. She was six hours old.

please beg for examples for our entertainment. i can't even imagine what fine motor skills a newborn could have. pincher grasp? picking up cheerios already! or maybe he needs an education on reflexes? i know h was shocked when R would hold his finger. i had to break his heart a little and tell him that babies will grasp anything pressed into the palm of their hand because reflex!

[meij]

Oct 27, 2014 11:10:15 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Oct 27, 2014 11:05:41 GMT -5 meij said:

I posted a comment on FB on my BILs new baby's picture and he responded that she was already ahead in gross and fine motor skills and was very smart. She was six hours old.

He was joking, right?

Sadly, no. His job is coaching so he's very into conditioning and has his kids doing conditioning crap from the beginning. I remember him moving his firsts legs certain ways as a baby. I don't know what else he does, I try not to encourage the crazy. But he takes their motor skills very, very seriously.

I'm not sure what amazing newborn skills she busted out but I'm hoping she made a move from the bassinet and grabbed the pen to try and change her birth certificate. (She's the one I posted about a couple weeks ago getting a first and middle masculine name and I thought she was a boy)

Which by the way, he announced the birth on facebook didn't say it's a girl and then didn't correct anyone when they said "He's cute" or "he's a big guy" So weird.

[DarcyLongfellow]

LOL. People are so funny.

I guarantee you the "shocking the world with her abilities" means the grandparents have said things like, "wow! Look at her hold her head up already!" and "What a strong grip she has!" In other words, the things all people say about all newborns!

[changedname]

Oct 27, 2014 6:53:18 GMT -5 @starry said:

Tangent but yesterday I ended up reading Wikipedia about the actress Alicia Witt who was a true child genius. Speaking at one month and reading college text books at age two. One thing that struck me was.... AND? Not like it does her a ton of good now. Fwiw she seems cool and well adjusted.

yeah. I mean good for her and it is interesting but couldn't she have done more with her life than become a non even A list actress? lol.

Goes to show having a gifted child means absolutely jack all when it comes to success as an adult.

[sjh722]

Haha!

I sat by someone at a shower a few weeks ago and was making small talk like a normal, polite human being. She told me her son was 6 and in first grade and asked how he was liking school. "Well, he's a certified genius, so he's way ahead of his other classmates. He reads at a 10th grade level. There's just so much going on in his tiny brain, he's like a 15 or 16 year old. They wanted him to skip a grade but we didn't think that would be good." And I just said, "Oh, yes, I could understand if he's a younger birthday then he'd be 2-3 years younger than some of the kids in the next class up." And she said, "Well, my husband is 6'9, so he's very tall."

Okay? A simple, "He loves school! He's a great reader and having lots of fun!" would have sufficed. Now I just think she's weird, LOL.

[kermit]

Oct 27, 2014 12:14:25 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

She finally updated:

Damn you guys are dicks. Like, I hope you know you're dicks. You're not funny and you're not cute. You're just a dick.

She's been lifting her head and looking around since she was 45 minutes old. She's been able to roll over since 2 weeks. She's been laughing since then, too. It was sort of a stupid sarcastic joke the way I worded it, but selfish annoying women took over the internet and laughter no longer exists.

Oh it exists. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

[kategm]

Oct 27, 2014 12:14:25 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

She finally updated:

Damn you guys are dicks. Like, I hope you know you're dicks. You're not funny and you're not cute. You're just a dick.

She's been lifting her head and looking around since she was 45 minutes old. She's been able to roll over since 2 weeks. She's been laughing since then, too. It was sort of a stupid sarcastic joke the way I worded it, but selfish annoying women took over the internet and laughter no longer exists.

So it was a joke, yet she was serious because obviously she had all those examples to back it up?

[Deleted]

Or you know slap an LOL or some kind of emoji to actually convey your sarcasm over the internet!

[qcinoct]

Oct 27, 2014 12:56:08 GMT -5 @starry said:

Oct 27, 2014 12:48:12 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

And now I'm going to read about this  

So based on my extensive fifteen minutes of research her mom seems like a stage mom nutter with twelve foot hair but Alicia still seems genius level bright. So I am guessing the one month old talking is exaggerated but the reading less so.

Source 1995 People Magazine article

her father was my middle school science teacher. It was when the mother was getting into the Guinness book for her hair. We'd harass him for stories about Alicia or her mother, but all he would tell us about was all her piano lessons

[Deleted]

Oct 27, 2014 14:43:11 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

 And your welcome ive had rude ass comments to me numerous times its ignorant if people dont like you question the should move on not be ignorant!

This sentence is AMAZING!

[Odonata]

Oct 27, 2014 10:12:23 GMT -5 teeah22 said:

Oct 27, 2014 7:02:07 GMT -5 @starry said:

Me either but it appears to be well documented.

I'm gonna need to see a video before I believe that one.

Also I would freak the fuck out if my one month old was talking.  Also what would they have to say?  "Hey I need that boob again, sorry I know it's only been 45 minutes but I'm staaaaarving..."

Acually, I would LOVE this.  I don't know what the fuck my DD wants half the time.  All the screams sound the same!

[itsme]

Oct 27, 2014 11:05:41 GMT -5 meij said:

I posted a comment on FB on my BILs new baby's picture and he responded that she was already ahead in gross and fine motor skills and was very smart. She was six hours old.

[heygrey]

there is still laughter because I am actually laughing out loud at this thread.

[Deleted]

Oct 27, 2014 15:12:15 GMT -5 @this said:

Oct 27, 2014 15:00:53 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I think you should leave the group gravytrain your very ignorant! In 1 post you shit talked to 3 people!! iGNORANT!!

I don't know why but this is really pissing me off lol

Damn you're a dick, gravytrain225. Just an ignorant dick. I hope you know that.

lol

"your" NO APOSTROPHE, damn it. Your so iGNORANT this. So, so iGNORANT.

[smock]

Next post: "my 5 mo is too advanced for car seats; where can I buy a tiny booster seat?"

Followed by: "I walked in on my 9 mo reading the constitution. Legally she's not eligible to run for Congress for another 24 years but will you sign my petition to make an exception?"

[meij]

I love when people think their tiny babies are bored. Like they are thinking, gosh this place sucks. I should have stayed in utero. That place was hopping!

[heygrey]

Oct 27, 2014 15:28:52 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I responded with "* you're" and she reported me to the moderators.

your hilarious.

[cjeanette]

Oct 27, 2014 12:14:25 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

She finally updated:

Damn you guys are dicks. Like, I hope you know you're dicks. You're not funny and you're not cute. You're just a dick.

She's been lifting her head and looking around since she was 45 minutes old. She's been able to roll over since 2 weeks. She's been laughing since then, too. It was sort of a stupid sarcastic joke the way I worded it, but selfish annoying women took over the internet and laughter no longer exists.

Umm....my one month old could do these things.  Clearly I should have done more to enrich his clear genius as now I have a very very average nine year old.

[mollybrown]

Oct 27, 2014 14:43:11 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Okay now I am getting over invested. Someone else commented that her daughter was very advanced at one month too and she used the jumper. She also told this mom to use the jumper. I commented that using a jumper at one month is a horrible idea blah blah blah. This is what she just said to me:

^sum1 said putting a 1 month old in jumper can do damage sooooooooo untrue all 3 of my babies now 7yrs 4 yrs 14 months were in jumperoo and exersaucer even highcair at 1 month old are are happy healthy and smart it gives them diff views from around the room and colors!! People are gonna flip when i say this but.... Put the bouncy in front of the tv let you Lo watch some cartoons they lovvvvve the color!!! And your welcome ive had rude ass comments to me numerous times its ignorant if people dont like you question the should move on not be ignorant!

I was flamed on the Bump for responding to almost an identical post a few years ago.  Someone had a genius 3 month old that was so bored, and she wanted to know if she should put him in a Jumperoo so that he wouldn't miss out on any opportunities to enhance his genius.  I thought it was a joke.  It totally sounds like she's the poster that responded to this lady.

I would love an update on her remarkable 3 year old.  These people need to find something else to do.  I had to stop going to the Bump at all because half of what was there was Bragplaints as opposed to legitimate questions.

[anna7602]

Oct 27, 2014 6:53:18 GMT -5 @starry said:

Tangent but yesterday I ended up reading Wikipedia about the actress Alicia Witt who was a true child genius. Speaking at one month and reading college text books at age two. One thing that struck me was.... AND? Not like it does her a ton of good now. Fwiw she seems cool and well adjusted.

Honestly, if my baby spoke at one month--or even at three months--I would immediately think Stephen King horror movie,not genius. It would freak me the heck out.

[anna7602]

Next time respond with "WHO is super advanced" (as opposed to "that," one of my grammar pet peeves).