Post by browneyedhunni85 on Oct 29, 2014 20:52:37 GMT -5
I would say that I am. He only wants me to dress him after a bath, only wants me to rock him before bed. There are things that he prefers to do with DH but he's a big mommy's boy. Sometimes I look forward to a bit of a break in having to do all the little parts of our routine.
Even if the kids cling to H more, I'm still the main one running the show. And Rose actually is the only one who clings to me primarily, but I am always the conductor of the train. Choo choo! :/
We are pretty equal. I do schedule some appts, buy clothes and fill out forms but that's just my personality - he does it if not He does all the chores, we split daycare pickup drop off he does dinner and shower and L really doesn't have a preference he is happy with either
hmm I guess I'm the default parent but only maybe slightly. I make the appointments and take them to the doctor. I prepare lunch for matilda and I set their clothes out. I keep track of the clothes and sizes and plan for needing clothes
In terms of actual TIME spent with them, its pretty even. I leave in the morning before Matilda gets up, H gets them ready and brings them to daycare. I pick them up but he usually gets home the same time as me.
Right now he definitely does more "him" things at the weekends, but that is mostly because of breastfeeding and my own guilt issues. He has no issue caring for both alone.
I put matilda to bed 99% of the time but I don't mind, he does the morning and I do more at night.
He also has a 15 minute commute v my hour, so if daycare calls about a sick kid, he's going to be going to pick up not me. But I have more vacation days, so if we know a kid is sick in the morning, I would be taking a day.
I don't know how people shoulder all the responsibility all the time. I mean, I find being a parent in what I consider a 50/50 household pretty damn exhausting. I think my head would explode if I had to do everything all the time
So I am definitely the default parent, I feel like to an embarrassing degree. DH has changed maybe 5 diapers since we left the hospital, has never given her a bath, has never fed her a meal, has never dressed her, has never put her to bed, has woken up with her in the night two nights (while we were night weaning). At this point i'm just used to it - in the beginning it was super frustrating for me.
I am a little scared about what will happen with #2 comes and I guess part of me is hoping he will step up a little more, but I'm also preparing to do everything myself. DH goes out of town for work for a week every once in a while and MIL is always like OMG are you going to be ok? How are you going to handle it? I just want to laugh because it is exactly the same when he's gone as when he's here as far as me handling everything.
Sorry that sounds kind of depressing! I'm so used it now it really doesn't bother me that much usually!
We're similar and he has stepped it up since #2. He puts D to bed most nights now and feeds rhys a bottle every once in a while motn. He also takes care of dressing her and breakfast some mornings if he gets up with her while I stay with the baby.
So I am definitely the default parent, I feel like to an embarrassing degree. DH has changed maybe 5 diapers since we left the hospital, has never given her a bath, has never fed her a meal, has never dressed her, has never put her to bed, has woken up with her in the night two nights (while we were night weaning). At this point i'm just used to it - in the beginning it was super frustrating for me.
I am a little scared about what will happen with #2 comes and I guess part of me is hoping he will step up a little more, but I'm also preparing to do everything myself. DH goes out of town for work for a week every once in a while and MIL is always like OMG are you going to be ok? How are you going to handle it? I just want to laugh because it is exactly the same when he's gone as when he's here as far as me handling everything.
Sorry that sounds kind of depressing! I'm so used it now it really doesn't bother me that much usually!
We're similar and he has stepped it up since #2. He puts D to bed most nights now and feeds rhys a bottle every once in a while motn. He also takes care of dressing her and breakfast some mornings if he gets up with her while I stay with the baby.
That's awesome! I am really hoping for this with #2. I think I'm really going to lay out what I need him to do this time and just that it has to happen and hope he gets it.
I am the default parent, but I'm not necessarily the preferred parent. I schedule appointments, do bed and bath, buy clothes, and buy groceries. However H does morning duty most days, including breakfast, lunch, and all his therapy. On the occasions when we're both home, Logan doesn't generally prefer either of us, but I think is a bit more interested in whatever H is doing.
I think we are similar....
I am default as in I take care of appointments, school things, and what I like to call research. I am the one that looks into things like the best travel bed to buy (that's what I"m doing today) for instance.
But...he is the preferred parent and sometimes it hurts my feelings. They always want daddy for everything at home.
We share the rest of the stuff like making dinner, grocery shopping, home maintenance, etc.
I don't know how people shoulder all the responsibility all the time. I mean, I find being a parent in what I consider a 50/50 household pretty damn exhausting. I think my head would explode if I had to do everything all the time
That's what I cant grasp.
I can't keep it together some weeks, and my partner is a partner.
I really just need to start writing things down. I have this mental list going at all times between work and life and for the most part it works, but when I forget something...game over.