Family gift exchanges

[psychmom]

If your family draws names for holiday gift exchanges, how does it work? Any tips?

[meggers5]

My cousin just set one up with drawnames.com. You invite by email and everyone replies and can update a wishlist.

For us, everyone who wants to participate does, with a $50 limit.

[rex]

we fold pieces of paper. old school.

the rules are:
1. you can't buy for someone you live with.
2. $ limit (ours is $75)
3. you must have a wishlist or you get a gift card for a lesser amount of $.
4. this is for adults only.

seems mean but it's a pita to buy for these people and it wasn't my rule! amazon wish lists make it so easy.

although my young sil tried to pull "get me a $$ dunkins gift card." um, youll be sad if that's all you open.

[youbetcha]

We do it when we are together at Thanksgiving with a $25 limit. You can't get your spouse or your own small child. (My dad can get my grown sister, but I can't get DD or DS.)

[ECB]

When we did this, we drew names at Thanksgiving. Kids weren't included. We had everyone write their name down and then a list of 3 or 4 "wish list" items that they'd like so that the person who got them would have some ideas if needed.

$50 limit.

ETA: we also told everyone ahead of time to come prepared w/ ideas. Of course, my MIL and my brother would sit there FOREVER and hem and haw "I don't KNOW what I want!" somewhat (at least on my MILs part) belligerently.

I'm not too sad that we've just decided to forgo the gift giving thing among the bigger group all together.  

[trafficgirl]

My family doesn't do one, but XH's family did. Everyone had to bring a unisex gift that was $20 or less (or maybe $30. It couldn't be a gag gift, it had to be something someone might actually want. Then everyone drew a number and you went around picking a random gift from under the tree - or you could steal a gift that someone had already opened.

There was always a lot of hubbub about how many steals per gift. I think the final vote was 3 steals.

I enjoyed it a lot, it was fun. I actually wish my family would do something like this. It was a nice (and funny) way to bring everyone together.

[hopecounts]

DH's Parents and Aunts and Uncles do a name draw, basically on t'giving they draw names for who each 'adult' will get a present for. You aren't allowed to get your spouse so if you do you redraw.
It works out and is easier then each of them buying each person/couple a gift.

[berbles]

We use Elfster, just like here.

One of the things I love about using Elfster is that you can select the option to prevent people being paired with the same person from the previous year. And you can make sure spouses don't draw each other.

[picaflora]

We do it with DH's siblings since there are 4 of them (and at one point we had 3 long-term SOs). We try to draw names at Thanksgiving. Last year we forgot and SIL1 and SIL2 got together and video-taped the drawing. The past 3 years its come out the same.

We set the price limit every year depending on how the year has gone (ranges from $25 - $75), and you can't have your SO's name. (Or yourself - one year BIL didn't mention that he drew his own name...) Lists are exchanged, typically with links included.

Easy peasy - and means we don't get a bunch of junk/small stuff for each other. Instead we all get one nicer thing that we actually wanted.

[psychmom]

When you say adults only, what designates an adult for you? Being 18?

I'm not sure about the siblings kids and how to classify them. here's my son (4), my nephews (11, 14, 21, 22), niece (18).

[karenj]

We have a $25.00 limit. You can't get anyone in your immediate family. We put our names and a couple ideas I. A slip of paper and draw it out of a hat.

[berbles]

Nov 3, 2014 18:01:41 GMT -5 picaflora said:

We do it with DH's siblings since there are 4 of them (and at one point we had 3 long-term SOs). We try to draw names at Thanksgiving. Last year we forgot and SIL1 and SIL2 got together and video-taped the drawing. The past 3 years its come out the same.

We set the price limit every year depending on how the year has gone (ranges from $25 - $75), and you can't have your SO's name. (Or yourself - one year BIL didn't mention that he drew his own name...) Lists are exchanged, typically with links included.

Easy peasy - and means we don't get a bunch of junk/small stuff for each other. Instead we all get one nicer thing that we actually wanted.

AMEN.

I'm actually the one who suggested using it.  At the time, there were 8 adults exchanging gifts.  I would SO MUCH rather have one >$50 gift that I actually want than 7 shitty $10 gifts that could  (but shouldn't) be given to anyone.

And that was just in my family.  XH's family had 6 more (including us) and NO kids.  There was just no reason for everyone to be buying 5 shitty trinkets.  I talked them into Elfster too.  Although, I learned the hard way that XILs insisted on breaking the rules and buying everyone a gift or two anyway.  Well, everyone except for me.  That's not super awkward or anything.

[spitforspat]

We do a theme every year. Last year it was something metal (fun to ship!). This year it's something from the clearance aisle at target/walmart/kohls.

[ZoeHart]

We draws names at Thanksgiving. When I was younger we did a big drawing with my cousins, grandparents, etc. We had two groups - kids (under 18) and adults. You couldn't draw someone in your immediate family. We set a price limit and would send email chains with wish lists.

[psychmom]

I like all these tips. There's only 3 that would qualify under 18 and 2 if them are brothers. So I'm thinking it'll just be everyone, kids and adults, in one pot. I don't think we'll all be together before Christmas to draw so I may have to do it and notify everyone. Is that bad?

[berbles]

Nov 3, 2014 18:42:05 GMT -5 psychmom said:

I like all these tips. There's only 3 that would qualify under 18 and 2 if them are brothers. So I'm thinking it'll just be everyone, kids and adults, in one pot. I don't think we'll all be together before Christmas to draw so I may have to do it and notify everyone. Is that bad?

Does everyone have email?

[livinitup]

It doesn't ... because my father and sister are flippin' babies who want prewsents from everybody and act all butt hurt at the suggestion of an adult gift exchange. Even though they give terrible gifts. 

STOP MAKING ME GET YOU BIGGER AND BETTER GIFTS WHILE YOU SUCK AT IT.

Oh sorry, you may have hit a nerve.  

[psychmom]

Nov 3, 2014 18:44:06 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 3, 2014 18:42:05 GMT -5 psychmom said:

I like all these tips. There's only 3 that would qualify under 18 and 2 if them are brothers. So I'm thinking it'll just be everyone, kids and adults, in one pot. I don't think we'll all be together before Christmas to draw so I may have to do it and notify everyone. Is that bad?

Does everyone have email?

No. DS and youngest nephews don't

[berbles]

Nov 3, 2014 18:47:57 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Nov 3, 2014 18:44:06 GMT -5 berbles said:

Does everyone have email?

No. DS and youngest nephews don't

Well, if they're too young to have email, then I guess the parents will be buying the gifts they're giving others, so you could use Elfster and just put the parents' email addresses in for the younger ones.

I'm a big fan of all the gift giving/requesting/receiving data you can get from Elfster.  E.g., you can ask anonymous questions, you can put things on your list that you DON'T want (which can be pretty nice when you're making a list for your kid)

[psychmom]

Nov 3, 2014 18:55:48 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 3, 2014 18:47:57 GMT -5 psychmom said:

No. DS and youngest nephews don't

Well, if they're too young to have email, then I guess the parents will be buying the gifts they're giving others, so you could use Elfster and just put the parents' email addresses in for the younger ones.

I'm a big fan of all the gift giving/requesting/receiving data you can get from Elfster.  E.g., you can ask anonymous questions, you can put things on your list that you DON'T want (which can be pretty nice when you're making a list for your kid)

Can you have multiple participants set up under one email?

[berbles]

Nov 3, 2014 18:59:41 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Nov 3, 2014 18:55:48 GMT -5 berbles said:

Well, if they're too young to have email, then I guess the parents will be buying the gifts they're giving others, so you could use Elfster and just put the parents' email addresses in for the younger ones.

I'm a big fan of all the gift giving/requesting/receiving data you can get from Elfster.  E.g., you can ask anonymous questions, you can put things on your list that you DON'T want (which can be pretty nice when you're making a list for your kid)

Can you have multiple participants set up under one email?

I just set up a fake one to test.  Yes.
"Note: If you want to invite another person with the same email address, please invite them with a different first name."

[psychmom]

Nov 3, 2014 19:05:29 GMT -5 berbles said:

Nov 3, 2014 18:59:41 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Can you have multiple participants set up under one email?

I just set up a fake one to test.  Yes.
"Note: If you want to invite another person with the same email address, please invite them with a different first name."

Awesome! Thank you!

[stealthmom]

We draw names out of a hat and donate to a cause of the recipient's choosing.

[Deleted]

We do a white elephant gift exchange with a theme and a $ threshold. There have actually been some really good gifts given and we have all these family rules that are quite hilarious but only work for our family. We do it every Christmas eve with our Mexican potluck and it is a ton of fun.

[janiejones]

In MrJJ's family, we do one with his mum & her BF, and his siblings & their SOs. We use elftser and have a $40-50 limit. We buy gifts for his dad & sMIL.

In my family my mum's CW does the draw, and emails each of us. I might suggest elftser this year because I think her CW moved departments when their was a reorg. We have a $50 limit, which used to be higher. We have a survey by email that has to be completed, it's always a pain in the ass, and a few people take until about December 10 to respond to the survey, making it difficult to buy for them. Last year we suggested a theme- consumable (drink/eat or otherwise useable by year end). This year my mum suggested hand made/home made, but not necessarily handmade by the giver... so you could buy something from a local artist/craftsperson, etc.

[wambam]

We do it at Thanksgiving. Everyone writes on a 3x5 card their wish list. We turn all the cards over and as people have time, they go and choose a card. The limit is $75. All kids over 10 are included.

[cereal K]

We always talk about drawing names, but there are only six adults - my H and me, my parents, and my aunt and uncle. I won't *not* buy my H a Christmas gift, and I have a hard time not buying for my parents. So we just buy everyone gifts. We all open together on Christmas morning, so it would feel weird not to shop for everyone.

[picaflora]

I should add that MIL and FIL aren't included in the exchange. Instead we all either go in on a big gift or buy separately for each of them. I WISH we could get them to agree to joining in, but MIL is pretty much a brat about it. AND she wants multiple expensive and very specific gifts every year. It kills me.