Meal Planning Vent

[aprilsails]

So usually I plan four dinners per week and the other three are more on the fly or are on nights where I'm going to have to go grocery shopping anyway.

DH does not help plan when asked to do so. Ever. Last night I made a very spicy Madras chicken curry just to piss him off (he hates curry). It was delicious. I don't care. He whined.

So I ask him this morning to think about what he wants to have for dinner tonight since I am out of ideas.

Just message him to ask what he wants and I get: Dunno. Not fish tacos. Had those for lunch.

A. Now all I want is fish tacos you freaking bastard.

B. Make a damn decision!

Now he's telling me to leave work early since I wrote something snarky about meal planning not being included in our vows and he thinks I need some me time.

No, I am not leaving the office until you tell me what we are going to have for dinner.

Anyone else's DH do this?

[rageragerage]

DH never has an opinion on dinner. At this point I just make what I want and he can eat it or not.

If I don't make something he is more than willing to run out and pick up take out.  It works for us.

[pagas]

Just make what you want for dinner. I am not seeing the issue here.

[Muddled]

If he doesn't say what he wants, then you get to pick. Make fish tacos.

[sandyapples]

Yes, all the time. He will never give me any input then complains I don't buy things he likes. Just tell me what you want to eat and I will make it!

[So_Fetch]

When does your husband leave work? Can he be in charge of making dinner? That's my go to rule. If he doesn't like something, then he gets to be in charge of it next time. ::shrug::

He's a better cook than I am, so now he cooks. If I want something in particular, I will tell him I want that or that I will cook that one day during the week (so I don't mess up the planning he's already done).

or you could actually meal plan for the whole week and shop together?

[CloudBee]

If my H isn't cooking, I don't care about his input. His input usually throws me off track. If I do want suggestions, I may ask early in the week, not the day of. (He'll say "I want burgers" and we won't have ground beef, buns, or tomatoes in the house, for instance.)

But I do try to cook things we all like, to avoid waste and/or having him fumbling in the kitchen while I'm cooking.

Treat yourself to a fun snack/beverage, zone out for a few minutes, then forget that conversation even happened.

[Deleted]

Nov 6, 2014 14:08:13 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I think @savestheday can relate?
(kiss)

Nah. H just picks up pizza, or  rotisierie chicken like 90 percent of the time. 

I hate cooking, when I am tired. 

[candreco]

DH never has input, which most of the time I'm ok with since it means I just make whatever I want. But it is annoying when I'm feeling burnt out on it and he just shrugs and says whatever. Sometimes I just want someone else to do the thinking.

[Nicole]

why don't you just tell him that you want his help with meal planning/cooking? edit: i am seeing now that you said he doesn't help when asked. 

i'd cook whatever i wanted in your scenario and if he complains tell him that is why you want his involvement.

[usuallylurking]

"I don't care," "it's up to you," and "whatever you want" are H's 3 favorite meals!

[beefcheeks]

It does sound annoying, so I feel ya there. But he is essentially giving you the go ahead to make whatever you want. Stop asking him. Make what you want and if he complains, tell him he should provide more input if he doesn't like your choices. If you continue to ask him then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

[Nicole]

Nov 6, 2014 14:15:41 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

I mean, if he doesn't give input it's fine to go ahead and make what you come up with or want to have for dinner.

But, I wouldn't go out of my way to spitefully make something I know he doesn't like. That's....odd.

yes, although i'd use the words passive aggressive.

[lilac05]

Nov 6, 2014 14:15:35 GMT -5 usuallylurking said:

"I don't care," "it's up to you," and "whatever you want" are H's 3 favorite meals!

My H's too.  The problem is that those are also my 3 favorites.

Rounding out the top of his lists are burgers, brats, and hot dogs.

[aprilsails]

I make curry about 3 times a year, I tell him in advance, and there is tonnes of food in the house that he can eat otherwise. He ate a small serving last night and then baked himself a Jamaican patty on the side (go figure - spicy and full of curry).

I'm burned out on meal planning. I have no new ideas. I recipe surfed earlier in the week and came up with two new recipes to try out but one will have to wait for the weekend when I have more time (braised beef) and the other I made on Monday and it turned out awful. Just really truly bad. It's now thrown me off my game.

DH helps with all of the cooking no matter what so that is not the issue. He even helped make the dreaded curry. The issue is really that I always get what I want to eat because I have decided what we are eating for the past 6 years. I drive home from work and do the grocery shopping since he has an hour of bussing from downtown. I want alternatives or options or someone else's input for a moment so that we have something different or it is at least out of my hands for a day or two. If he said he was dying to have fried bologna I would jump right on that and make it.

Heh. Maybe I should make fried bologna.

[aprilsails]

I think the other issue is that he goes out for lunch every day whereas I usually eat salad or leftovers. As a result, if I say 'burgers!' he says no - I had a burger for lunch yesterday. Or if I say 'How about chicken with roasted potatoes?' he's all 'I had fries at lunch, no potatoes'.

So he does have an opinion I have to work around. He wields veto power all the time without ever recommending a viable alternative. That is infuriating.

[sequins]

I have a list of dinner items that I can make and on days I get overwhelmed, I ask H to pick a number between 1 and 76 and whatever comes up is dinner! BAM.

[shostakovich]

You were snarky to him, and he suggested you leave work early for "me time"? I'm confused.

Can you sign him up for a bunch of "meal of the day" e-mails? Then when he's all, "why am I getting all these meal-planning e-mails?" you can tell him you have NO idea, but since he's already getting them, maybe he could slap some suggestions and a grocery list in a spreadsheet?

[spitforspat]

Plan out the meals and assign them a day. He can work around them, then.

Check out Pinterest and blogs for inspiration. I've been getting a lot of great recipes from pagas blog.

[usuallylurking]

Nov 6, 2014 14:39:42 GMT -5 sequins said:

I have a list of dinner items that I can make and on days I get overwhelmed, I ask H to pick a number between 1 and 76 and whatever comes up is dinner! BAM.

This is awesome and I'm going to use it - thanks!

[litebright]

Every week when I'm meal planning, I ask DH if he has any preferences or requests for dinners, and what he wants for lunches (he brings his rather than buying, most of the time). He always has some requests for lunches, even if it's just sandwich stuff. Most of the time he offers very little input on dinners. If he does have a request, I work it in -- but mostly I do what I want. If he asks to know what my planned meals are, I let him know. I also write up the week's meals on the white board in our kitchen and erase them as I work my way through (I don't assign them to a given day).

There are certain things that I know he really likes, and some that he's fine with but the girls really like (like spaghetti), and I try to balance that along with trying new recipes, which I try to do at least once a week. This week I tried chicken paprikash. I don't think anyone was head over heels, but everyone ate it.

He doesn't complain, which would be my biggest problem if he wasn't offering ideas. If he wants something different than what is for dinner on a given night, we always have eggs or ramen or something else simple around that he can make himself.

And it helps that he does most of the weekend cooking, or if I have a special request, too, like that he makes his chicken soup from scratch or pizza. So meals aren't on me 100% of the time, just during the week.

[jenny1223]

DH rarely/never gives me input on meal planning. I love it. I get to make whatever I feel like. Luckily he eats just about anything and doesn't complain. If he complained often, I'd have a problem with his lack of input. He will make dinner once or twice month. TBH, I don't like when he cooks. I try not to complain because I appreciate the effort. He's just an awful cook.

[aprilsails]

Nov 6, 2014 14:39:42 GMT -5 sequins said:

I have a list of dinner items that I can make and on days I get overwhelmed, I ask H to pick a number between 1 and 76 and whatever comes up is dinner! BAM.

This is a great idea. I'm not always necessarily looking to make something different or new, but moreso to just choose from available options. Listing out everything we eat semi-regularly would help.

I think most of it comes down to the fact that I'm busier and work longer hours than he does and yet I'm the one over lunch break researching possible dinners.

What a waste of my free time.

Oh - DH came back with a suggestion: Why don't we just eat the same food every week? #Taco Tuesday for life.

Shoot me now.

[msmerymac]

I can't say I give a shit what my husband wants, but he's also not a picky eater. I do all of the cooking and meal planning and we shop together. It's easier for me that way. I was nice and decided to cook the pasta dish with fennel for myself for lunch this week instead of dinner because he doesn't like fennel (or beets), but otherwise, it's game on.

[knx9211]

Taco Tuesday is my favorite day of the week.

H is also bad at helping to decide what to make during the week. Then again, so I am. So I just wander around the grocery store buying random things and figuring out what to make with it later. Needless to say, we're on a cycle of the same things over and over.

[sequins]

Nov 6, 2014 15:06:38 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

Nov 6, 2014 14:39:42 GMT -5 sequins said:

I have a list of dinner items that I can make and on days I get overwhelmed, I ask H to pick a number between 1 and 76 and whatever comes up is dinner! BAM.

This is a great idea. I'm not always necessarily looking to make something different or new, but moreso to just choose from available options. Listing out everything we eat semi-regularly would help.

I think most of it comes down to the fact that I'm busier and work longer hours than he does and yet I'm the one over lunch break researching possible dinners.

What a waste of my free time.

Oh - DH came back with a suggestion: Why don't we just eat the same food every week? #Taco Tuesday for life.

Shoot me now.

It does get tiring to come up with new ideas. We are vegetarian and I used to meal plan but sometimes you are just not feeling the planned meal for the day. So now I allot a vegetable a day (very loosely). 

Monday - Mushrooms
Tuesday - Cauliflower & potatoes
Wednesday - Spinach

And then if I feel like mexican or indian or italian, I make the one I want. 

So 

Monday could be mushroom quesadillas or pulao or stuffed shells depending on how much time I have, what I want or what I have in the pantry. This leaves room for experimentation if I have the time and inclination. Otherwise just fall back on a tried and tested recipe.

It's not ironclad and I switch up the veggies to a different day if H picks a dish that doesn't work with that vegetable.

Sounds a bit crazy, I know, lol. But it lets me keep my cooking schedule flexible and fun. 


 

[jinkies]

I instituted Pizza Friday in our house. It took maybe 8 months before I was really, really tired of pizza. I never thought I would get tired of pizza. My suggestion if you are having a set weekly schedule is to make it on a 14 day rotation.

Anyway. I signed up for Fresh20 because of this exact problem. I get so tired of thinking up what other people are going to eat. I've been mostly happy with the Fresh20 plans.

[pantsparty]

I just make what I want to eat. Asking his opinion wastes time, LOL.

[pantsparty]

Why don't you meal plan weekly? Trying to figure out dinner every single day seems like a lot of effort.

[emoflamingo]

When I was pregnant with DS2, I thought "you know what would make my maternity leave (and H potentially doing all grocery shopping) so easy? 6 week long, pre-planned menus, color coded with the list at the bottom!!" (I had a lot of free time at the end of my pregnancy at work lol.) I did the same type of meal every day for each week - i.e. meatless monday, chicken tuesday, etc. - so that I could keep it simple.

(I bet you can guess how many times we've used it.)

I plan 5 days, one leftover day and one day we wing it. And a lot of the time, we eat the same recipes week in and week out. But I'm the one planning them, so I make him go to the store on a Saturday/Sunday/after bedtime if we don't get it done on the weekend.