How often do toddlers get bit at day care?

[shananagins]

My twins are going to a 2x a week MDO program. Out of 20 days of class I've gotten a report that one of them was bitten by another child 3 times. Is that a lot? They're 2.5. I thought they were past the biting age. They've never bitten each other and I'm afraid they'll start if they keep getting bit at school.

[livinitup]

It's not uncommon.


ETA: So, there is no way to rate 'too much' from any particular program. We had one biter in DD 'a class. DD actually pulled herself up on furniture to cruise over to her nap area to bonk her on the head. We were happy went she left.

DD and the other kids didn't "learn" how to bite from her.

[VeryViolet]

Some kids bite as long as you think the staff is appropriately addressing the situation and doing their best to watch the biters to lessen the chances I don't think it is a huge deal. Three times seems a little high for that number of classes but not outrageous.

DS is one and has been bit four times all by the same girl who is two. That is over the course of four or five months at daycare everyday. That little girl isn't allowed around the younger kids anymore.

[eddy]

I have never apologized for my kid bitting. I have also never received an apology when roles were reversed.

[eddy]

OP are they new to the MDO program? They might still be learning how to operate in a group.

Jack was bit a lot, but I found out he was also taking toys away a lot. He learned not to provoke. I am not saying your girls are doing that, but there is certainly a song and dance that they learn as toddlers as far as best practices lol.

[spitforspat]

In America a toddler is bit every 8 seconds.

[CurlyQ284]

We have been to three daycares and none of them allow you to know the identity of the biter so I've never spoken to the parents.

I think it's important to ask how they plan to handle it. Two of the daycares we've been to shadow the biter and figure out what triggers the biting and then works to fix that problem. He was bit once at one daycare and zero times at his current daycare.

The other daycare he went to, he was bitten 6 times over 2 weeks. Half of them were not reported and I found the bites on him myself. Their philosophy was "well what can you do!" They also couldn't tell me if it was the same kid or different kids but promised to "look into that". I don't think it's a coincidence that he was bitten a lot at the daycare that did nothing about biting. Their plan was to move my kid up to the next class whenever they got space. He was bitten two more times while waiting and then they suggested he bit himself. It was after I quit that daycare that they assured me it was all different kids. Yeah ok. Glad it took you weeks to figure that out. Not like I can believe you at this point.

I don't expect anything from the parents, I know for sure kids do things at daycare that they don't do at home and it's tough to work on things at home that are happening elsewhere. Aside from the fact that it's kept confidential.

As for kids learning to bite, I was told repeatedly by shitty daycare that being bitten repeatedly doesn't cause the victim to learn to bite. Funny, he started biting us and stopped when we left that daycare. I don't share their philosophy.

[sparty04]

Nov 6, 2014 19:19:51 GMT -5 socratic said:

Nov 6, 2014 19:06:20 GMT -5 eddy said:

I have never apologized for my kid bitting. I have also never received an apology when roles were reversed.

I guess we are in a unique situation. But if I ever got a call from school to say Noah did something to another child. I would try to speak to the parent to apologize and to find out if their child was hurt okay whatever.

Our daycare doesn't give names. I always knew who it was because I had the inside scoop. I would never expect a parent to apologize though. It's awkward.

DS was bit once or twice every few weeks when he was one. It didn't bother me, it happens. Just glad he wasn't the biter

[Deleted]

T was only bit once and it was because she stuck her finger in a kids mouth. I think she was different because she didn't start daycare until she was two.

Eta. Just saw they are 2.5. Yea that seems to be past the biting age.

[Deleted]

What CurlyQ284 said. My kid is a year older than your twins and has been bitten maybe three, four? times total. But our daycare was always very proactive in making sure the kids were separated and the biter shadowed. It was always confidential too so I don't know it was. Frankly, it didn't matter who. Just protect my child.

I would focus more on the response and whether they're taking this seriously than the overall incidence rate.

[shananagins]

Thanks. I know it's a normal toddler thing, just wasn't sure how frequently it happens. I'll talk to their teacher and see what they're doing to try to prevent it. She implied that it has been the same kid all 3 times. eddy that's a good point. I'll ask if they're provoking the biter. They definitely steal toys from each other all the time so that may be part of it.