How old is he? It's not a popular stance, but DH and I knew after a couple of weeks that we would get married. We were in our mid-thirties at the time, though. And we still waited a year and a half to do it, because that seemed like a smart idea.
Post by pantsparty on Nov 10, 2014 11:09:20 GMT -5
I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!
I mean, sometimes you just know. Is he the type to share those kinds of things with the family? It's one thing to know you've found the one and another thing to buy a ring three weeks into the relationship.
It's uh, particularly alarming, coming from him. With every relationship, he's been sure that she's THE ONE, and ignored (sometimes huge) red flags. Once it ends, he's like "Oh, I'll never make that mistake again."
And with every relationship, it's accelerated. To 3 weeks, now, apparently.
I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!
It's uh, particularly alarming, coming from him. With every relationship, he's been sure that she's THE ONE, and ignored (sometimes huge) red flags. Once it ends, he's like "Oh, I'll never make that mistake again."
And with every relationship, it's accelerated. To 3 weeks, now, apparently.
I was going to come in and say how h and I knew right away, but yeah, this is different. Poor guy.
I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!
What do you think of her?
She seemed nice enough, just very young/girlish.
This makes me wonder if you've already internally imagined your poofy pink BM's dress for her pretty princess day... Have you?!? (B/c I probably would have that thought slip into my head @ some point of my bro announcing this in a new relationship w/ a young girly girl;) )
Given the background info, I can understand your reaction.
Drunk DH told his friends at 3AM the night we met that he was going to marry me. He met my bf of 2 years the same day, and apparently that didn't change his mind. We started dating a few months later, and that was 14 years ago! (So much for being a rebound guy!)
Listen, H and I were engaged after two weeks of knowing each other. Married 9 months later. Had a baby 9 months after that.
While it was all happening - I knew people thought we were crazy. I thought we were crazy. Neither of us had a track record of good decisions (H had just moved home from living in Mexico for a year in a bedroom without a door, lol).
I do not blame anyone for judging us. I do think people were surprised that we worked out and have been successful 7 years later.
For US - we actually helped balance each other out. It was all a whirlwind until we were married and settled and then it was like our lives just fell into place together.
Maybe this will happen for your brother. Not likely, but maybe.
I was a mature 21 though and had been providing for myself since I started college at 17. And H had been married before (he was 25). Which could also have worked against us but it certainly did not.
It KILLS my bitchy SIL that we are so happy. She talked mad shit when we first got together. LOL.
He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.
She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.
Age gaps don't really bother me. Except the fact that her BFF is literally half the age of her boyfriend? That seems weird to me. Also I was not interested in hanging out with 15 year olds by the time I was almost 21, no thanks.
It happens we knew pretty fast too. One of my friends just got engaged after a month. Funny thing is he dated his ex girlfriend 5 years and even bought a house with her, but no ring. And now bam!
My sister can be like this. She'll meet a guy and he is "THE ONE" and the relationships accelerate too fast and people get obsessive and then flaws start to show themselves and it is a downhill, messy, frustrating crash. So now I just smile and nod when she meets a new guy. Hopefully one day she will find the right guy, but for now her relationships are flashes in the pan.
In my family we believe in finding true love quickly. My grandparents met during WWII in a small town in England (grandfather was Army Air Corps, grandmother was Royal Navy) and they got engaged that very night. They have been married almost 69 years. It happens, but it is incredibly rare. My grandparents' story could be in a movie script.
Post by CrazyLucky on Nov 10, 2014 12:14:18 GMT -5
A guy at work asked me when I knew DH and I would get married. I told him I knew before we went on our first date. We just clicked from the time we met (about 10 months before we started dating). We were mid-twenties. The age gap with your brother wouldn't bother me on it's own, but I wouldn't have high hopes if they actually do get married without dating for at least a year first.
Post by jojoandleo on Nov 10, 2014 12:21:54 GMT -5
I had a manager at the restaurant I worked at in undergrad who was almost 30 marry a 20 year old after dating a few months. It was super weird because they both acted more like he was her father than husband. She would come up to work and literally whine for money to spend at the mall and he would give her an allowance. AN ALLOWANCE! They divorced pretty quickly.
With an almost 30 year old dating a 20 year old with a 15 year old BFF who lives at home, doesn't work or go to college-I feel it would be the same power balance.
DH told his parents that when he was home over spring break, two weeks after we met. His dad basically told him he was crazy. It's been 7 years, married for 3, and there's a baby on the way. Worked out well for us.
Did you like her?
Eta: oh. I just read your follow up. Uh, never mind.