So I met my brother's new girlfriend

[jane6672]

this weekend.


They have known each other for 3 weeks.
He told everyone (our mom, siblings) that he's going to marry her.



@lazerus24, you want to come champion on behalf of swift relationships? lol

[lauralala]

How old is he? It's not a popular stance, but DH and I knew after a couple of weeks that we would get married. We were in our mid-thirties at the time, though. And we still waited a year and a half to do it, because that seemed like a smart idea.

[pantsparty]

I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!

What do you think of her?

[iamali]

Meh, it's probably the "new relationship high". I would just smile and nod at this point.

[wambam]

What do you think of her?

I mean, sometimes you just know. Is he the type to share those kinds of things with the family? It's one thing to know you've found the one and another thing to buy a ring three weeks into the relationship.

[zoomzoom]

We knew pretty quickly too but we didn't share it with the world.

[jane6672]

I know it works out sometimes.

It's uh, particularly alarming, coming from him. With every relationship, he's been sure that she's THE ONE, and ignored (sometimes huge) red flags. Once it ends, he's like "Oh, I'll never make that mistake again."

And with every relationship, it's accelerated. To 3 weeks, now, apparently.

[jane6672]

Nov 10, 2014 11:09:20 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!

What do you think of her?

She seemed nice enough, just very young/girlish.

[Bernadine]

Nov 10, 2014 11:11:43 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

I know it works out sometimes.

It's uh, particularly alarming, coming from him. With every relationship, he's been sure that she's THE ONE, and ignored (sometimes huge) red flags. Once it ends, he's like "Oh, I'll never make that mistake again."

And with every relationship, it's accelerated. To 3 weeks, now, apparently.

I was going to come in and say how h and I knew right away, but yeah, this is different.  Poor guy.

[jane6672]

Oh, and I can rile up the age-gappers, too! lol


He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.

She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.

[Deleted]

HA.


It has been amazing for us.

[Deleted]

Nov 10, 2014 11:25:45 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

Oh, and I can rile up the age-gappers, too! lol


He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.

She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.

I was 21. AHHAHAHA. 


H was 25 though. 

[miniroller]

Nov 10, 2014 11:18:09 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

Nov 10, 2014 11:09:20 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

I was pretty sure I was going to marry my H after our first date. However, I didn't tell anyone, and we didn't get married for several years. Sometimes you just know!

What do you think of her?

She seemed nice enough, just very young/girlish.

This makes me wonder if you've already internally imagined your poofy pink BM's dress for her pretty princess day...
Have you?!? (B/c I probably would have that thought slip into my head @ some point of my bro announcing this in a new relationship w/ a young girly girl;) )

[spitforspat]

DANGER, Will Rogers!

[lilac05]

Given the background info, I can understand your reaction.

Drunk DH told his friends at 3AM the night we met that he was going to marry me. He met my bf of 2 years the same day, and apparently that didn't change his mind. We started dating a few months later, and that was 14 years ago! (So much for being a rebound guy!)

[jane6672]

Nov 10, 2014 11:28:26 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Nov 10, 2014 11:25:45 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

Oh, and I can rile up the age-gappers, too! lol


He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.

She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.

I was 21. AHHAHAHA. 


H was 25 though. 

I'm sure you were so mature, though. 

[Deleted]

Listen, H and I were engaged after two weeks of knowing each other. Married 9 months later. Had a baby 9 months after that.

While it was all happening - I knew people thought we were crazy. I thought we were crazy. Neither of us had a track record of good decisions (H had just moved home from living in Mexico for a year in a bedroom without a door, lol).

I do not blame anyone for judging us. I do think people were surprised that we worked out and have been successful 7 years later.

For US - we actually helped balance each other out. It was all a whirlwind until we were married and settled and then it was like our lives just fell into place together.


Maybe this will happen for your brother. Not likely, but maybe.

I was a mature 21 though and had been providing for myself since I started college at 17. And H had been married before (he was 25). Which could also have worked against us but it certainly did not.


It KILLS my bitchy SIL that we are so happy. She talked mad shit when we first got together. LOL.

[lexxasaurus]

Nov 10, 2014 11:25:45 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

Oh, and I can rile up the age-gappers, too! lol


He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.

She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.

Age gaps don't really bother me. Except the fact that her BFF is literally half the age of her boyfriend? That seems weird to me.
Also I was not interested in hanging out with 15 year olds by the time I was almost 21, no thanks.

[Deleted]

OOh. Backstory changes some stuff.

[jane6672]

Nov 10, 2014 11:32:59 GMT -5 littleduck said:

Nov 10, 2014 11:25:45 GMT -5 jane6672 said:

Oh, and I can rile up the age-gappers, too! lol


He's 29 and she's 20 (almost 21), which does add to my uncomfortableness.

She acts/seems young for 20. Apparently her BFF is 15 years old. Eeeeeee.

I couldn't handle a 15 year old bestie almost 3 years into college.

So, she isn't going to college. She lives with her family and sometimes works part time at Aerie during the holiday season.

Which is fine, she seems happy, but I think the disparity in life experience may compound the age difference.

[lauralala]

OK, with that background information, I would also be skeptical.

[datass]

I think the 15 year old best friend is stranger than proclaiming true love in 3 weeks.

[janegold]

H told his mom that I was "the one" the morning after our first date.

We didn't get married until a few years later, though.  And I had an age-appropriate BFF.

[papie]

It happens we knew pretty fast too. One of my friends just got engaged after a month. Funny thing is he dated his ex girlfriend 5 years and even bought a house with her, but no ring. And now bam!

[calmcosmo]

My sister can be like this. She'll meet a guy and he is "THE ONE" and the relationships accelerate too fast and people get obsessive and then flaws start to show themselves and it is a downhill, messy, frustrating crash. So now I just smile and nod when she meets a new guy. Hopefully one day she will find the right guy, but for now her relationships are flashes in the pan.

In my family we believe in finding true love quickly. My grandparents met during WWII in a small town in England (grandfather was Army Air Corps, grandmother was Royal Navy) and they got engaged that very night. They have been married almost 69 years. It happens, but it is incredibly rare. My grandparents' story could be in a movie script.

[CrazyLucky]

A guy at work asked me when I knew DH and I would get married. I told him I knew before we went on our first date. We just clicked from the time we met (about 10 months before we started dating). We were mid-twenties.
The age gap with your brother wouldn't bother me on it's own, but I wouldn't have high hopes if they actually do get married without dating for at least a year first.

[jojoandleo]

I had a manager at the restaurant I worked at in undergrad who was almost 30 marry a 20 year old after dating a few months. It was super weird because they both acted more like he was her father than husband. She would come up to work and literally whine for money to spend at the mall and he would give her an allowance. AN ALLOWANCE! They divorced pretty quickly.

With an almost 30 year old dating a 20 year old with a 15 year old BFF who lives at home, doesn't work or go to college-I feel it would be the same power balance.

How did they even meet?

[wannabe]

I was the one who was 29 and he was 21 when we got together, so I knew from the start that it would be a long time before I saw a ring.

[jane6672]

Nov 10, 2014 12:12:07 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

The 15-year-old BFF is ... Bizarre. She seems kinda stunted?

Yeah...

ETA: but my brother said about the BFF "she's really mature." lol, kay.

[isabel]

DH told his parents that when he was home over spring break, two weeks after we met. His dad basically told him he was crazy. It's been 7 years, married for 3, and there's a baby on the way. Worked out well for us.

Did you like her?

Eta: oh. I just read your follow up. Uh, never mind.