Someone found out I have twins the other day and then said "did you get your couple?" I just stared at her so she followed up with "you know, a boy and a girl". A particularly stupid way to phrase the question considering we had also just covered the fact that my kids have two moms. But uh NO my kids are not a straight or lesbian couple, thanks.
Someone found out I have twins the other day and then said "did you get your couple?" I just stared at her so she followed up with "you know, a boy and a girl". A particularly stupid way to phrase the question considering we had also just covered the fact that my kids have two moms. But uh NO my kids are not a straight or lesbian couple, thanks.
We only have one boy (so far), but I came from a family of 4 girls and 1 boy. People would always comment that my dad must be so thankful for my brother amongst all those girls. :/
I have been congratulated on having one of each. As if I had anything to do with it or as if that's better. I never know what to say in response.
However, I've also been congratulated by strangers on how white my daughter looks. So, really, people are just stupid,
No one congratulated me about how white my kids looked, but I got a lot of comments about it... DD especially. I think people think I'm too brown to produce such fair kids lol.
Funny everyone assumes the husband desperately wants a son... Dh really wanted a girl and I was the one that thought a boy would be fun. Really I think most people are happy either way. We just wanted a healthy baby and mom!
Post by curbsideprophet on Nov 22, 2014 22:41:49 GMT -5
I never know what to say when people comment on having one of each. However I don't think most people mean any harm with what they are saying, just trying to make conversation.
]However, I've also been congratulated by strangers on how white my daughter looks. So, really, people are just stupid,
People sometimes seem way too pleased about the fact that all my kids are blond and blue-eyed. In fact, about the only time that strangers comment positively about my three boys is when they preface it with a comment about their appearance (I.e., "look at all those blond, blue-eyed boys!"). It's weird.
We live in an area with enough German/Dutch/Polish/northern European population that having blonde hair and blue eyes, especially on a child, isn't super noticeable.
When I took DD to Miami last winter, I was shocked at how many people commented on her eyes. (She didn't have a ton of hair then, LOL.) Everywhere we went, people said something. I guess if it's out of the norm it's more noticeable?
Post by SpartanGirl on Nov 23, 2014 1:02:30 GMT -5
When people found out I was pregnant after DS they would ask me WHY! I guess because we already had a boy and a girl we couldn't possibly want more?
Since we have 3 girls and one boy we got a lot of "oh, poor DS" or "oh, poor DH." I think people just have a need to comment on families regardless of number/gender of kids.
I've had a few people mention that DS needs a little sis. I just look at them and flatly respond that 1) the only way we're having another kid is if they volunteer to pay the $1k/month for daycare and 2) I prefer another boy because there are a few really cute outfits DS never got to wear and I need someone to wear them.
The whole answer is absurd and logical enough to shut them up. Unless they really know me. Then they crack up because they realize there's a chance I'm serious.
Post by teatimefor2 on Nov 23, 2014 4:41:56 GMT -5
Yes and DS2 is less than a month old!! I've also gotten a few, your DH will be so busy with them when they are older with sports. It would be different if they were girl because of hair, nails, makeup. So apparently once they hit 13, I will no longer be of use?.
For some reason, I feel that girls are the preferred US gender and that bothers me - more clothing options for girls, more girl models in kids displays, etc.
Well we just had our third boy. We were team green and people kept saying, fingers crossed this one is a girl and trying for a girl, right? Nope. We just wanted a third child. I find it really irritating.
Even with just two boys people say, two boys - must be a handful! Actually, my boys are somewhat mellow and I have friends with two girls that are super high energy and a lot of work.
I'm sure we're about to get a lot of comments with our third boy.
]However, I've also been congratulated by strangers on how white my daughter looks. So, really, people are just stupid,
People sometimes seem way too pleased about the fact that all my kids are blond and blue-eyed. In fact, about the only time that strangers comment positively about my three boys is when they preface it with a comment about their appearance (I.e., "look at all those blond, blue-eyed boys!"). It's weird.
Mine are not the same sex but are both blue eyed and blond (for now) and people comment on how "lucky" we are. It is really awkward/rude considering we both have super dark hair and neither of us has blue eyes. Curious to see if people offer condolences when their hair gets darker.
When I found out my second was a boy my brother made the perfect family comment and then said i better watch out because boys have so much more energy than girls. Not sure how he would know since he only has boys.
I never know what to say when people comment on having one of each. However I don't think most people mean any harm with what they are saying, just trying to make conversation.
It's not that they mean harm, it's just how ridiculously ingrained and deeply held absolutely nonsensical notions are in our society, such as the idea that one of each is what everyone wants. It's annoying when people say things like this because there's really no good reason they should be thinking it. What, inherently, is so "flawed" or undesirable about having two kids or more of the same sex? Why in the hell is a stranger assuming how one's family should look? I walked into the "good for you, one of each!" comments already riled up after years of stranger comments on only having one child, another thing our society seems to think is worthy of pity or unsolicited advice.
In any event, I don't use the intent to harm as a litmus test for stupidity. And in the case of blatant racism or sexism or homophobia, it's not harmless at all.
There are only boys on H's side. We were team green and when H went out for DS2 and said he was a boy, SIL says "aww, the curse continues". Uhh, thanks.
I had a group of good friends at my husband's last job--the husbands all worked together and the wives would get together for play dates and girls' nights. Most of us had two or more kids, and everyone with 2+ kids had either all girls or all boys. One of them got pregnant with a third, and when she found out it was a boy (her older two are both girls), another wife (who only has one kid) said, "Hooray! The curse is broken!" Ughhhhhh.