XH texted this morning saying "I hope you know that the principal and the police officers on Friday made statements that you snuck P out of the school and they're faxing them to my attorney Monday".
WTF? I didn't sneak P out. After hearing that the police weren't going to tell us what to do or make a recommendation, I simply got P and sent him home with my roommate. What was I supposed to do, race XH to him and have each one of us grab ahold of his arm? I'm shocked the police would make a statement like that as well as the principal. When she's seen me in her office day and in and day out after P has had behavior issues. She sat there with his teacher, his counselor and myself and we mapped out a behavior plan. Then she turns on me and writes a statement saying I snuck him out on XH's behalf? Wow.
This situation is just crazy. It's why I hesitate to take this action to begin with; because I knew it would start WWIII. I feel like all I'm trying to do is keep P safe. To prevent anything horrible from happening again and keep him on the right track. I am not sure why everything is getting so twisted and all I know is at the end I just want P to be safe.
My lawyer said to not pay attention to what XH is saying and we did write the letter stating that if we were wrong XH is to have make-up visitation but I still feel uneasy. I feel like evil is winning over good. Even though I know that I've done nothing wrong, I feel like I have. It's a terrible feeling.
Post by 1confused1 on Nov 23, 2014 14:31:58 GMT -5
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Honestly, when I read that you went and grabbed P to hand him off to your roommate, I cringed. I understand why you did it, but I don't think it was the right thing to do.
I can't take it back now. All I can do is move forward. This situation has been one of the most difficult things I've ever dealt with. I still am glad I sent P with my roommate. If I was in the wrong then we've sent the letter to allow for extra visitation. It's pretty hard to keep a level head when you're terrified for your child
I have to remember that xh does this to me every single time something like this comes up. He made me question everything when j was moving and told me that my attorney was terrible then (when he was arguably the best in the county).
I don't know I'd trust his word re: the principal. She might have been very factual, you did slip him out of class etc but may not have used there inflammatory language he claims.
I didn't actually slip him out of class. I went to him and he was in line standing next to his teacher. When he saw me she released him to me and i had him go with my roommate.
I'm shocked the police would make a statement like that as well as the principal. When she's seen me in her office day and in and day out after P has had behavior issues. She sat there with his teacher, his counselor and myself and we mapped out a behavior plan. Then she turns on me and writes a statement saying I snuck him out on XH's behalf? Wow.
If she did write make a statement, hopefully she included some of the issues Ps been having after having been in his father's care. And, I still don't understand what the police expected to happen if you were both there at the same time. What kind of response is to shrug and say "Welp, whoever gets to him first can have him."?? I wonder if their statements will include that little tidbit as well.
Did his attorney request the statements from the police and principle? Can she do that, and do the principle and police have to comply with the request?
That's so stressful! I can't even imagine what an emotional nightmare it must be for you!
Very stressful. I guess the worst position to be in as a parent is to worry that someone could make you look like you don't have your child's best interests in mind.
It's so crazy to me that we started these proceedings to PROTECT P and now it's getting flipped around.
I think your ex is just trying to get in your head. Stay strong.
I've noticed in all your post about P, you've said "I just want to keep P safe." You are doing the best you can.
So many hugs to you and P!!!
Thank you. I agree; it's a manipulation, control thing. I just need to ignore him to the best of my ability. My attorney said the same thing. he told me I need to be the strong woman he knows I am.
I have no clue what I would have done in that situation. And I don't think many know until they are faced with it. Kudos to you for doing what you felt was right. Right or wrong it took courage. And it's clear you have P's best interest at heart
Thank you for that. I think I would be less of a mother if I hadn't acted on my instincts to protect him. Like you said, right or wrong it's done now. If the court tries to come down on me for it we have the letter and the call to the DAs office. It's just a horrible situation.
This sucks but I'm glad you've got a new lawyer in retainer. Forward them all of the texts and let them know your ex is doing this so they can prepared in court and ask for a statement as well if needed.
Something I don't understand about this situation is why would your x want P? Wouldn't that put a damper on his lifestyle?
I know that's not the topic here, but I am curious. Is it just about power?
This is actually something I've wondered too, because when my ex was using, he was not trying to spend extra time with our kiddo. Children really interfere with sleeping all the time and hooking up with randoms.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Something I don't understand about this situation is why would your x want P? Wouldn't that put a damper on his lifestyle?
I know that's not the topic here, but I am curious. Is it just about power?
I honestly think yes. He loves to control me still. I think also in his mind he does love P. He just doesn't make good choices. Case in point; tonight my roommate and I were with P and her son at in n out. We heard a motorcycle go by and P said "my dad and I got in a wreck on his motorcycle!" Uhhhh why were you riding his motorcycle with him?? He's like "yah we went in a ditch".
Something I don't understand about this situation is why would your x want P? Wouldn't that put a damper on his lifestyle?
I know that's not the topic here, but I am curious. Is it just about power?
ive got an addict xh well .... achase's x's behavior is very similar. it's a control power thing with them. i shudder to think what xh would actually do w/ dd if he actually had ANY sort of custody. he spends his time either high or coming off of being high and neither is a good situation for a child BUT that means she wouldn't be w/ me .... which is what he would want.
this is when i'm grateful for a RO and Crim Protective Order that includes custody orders (xh has ZERO visitation). there is no PD in the state that can go against those orders.
I spoke to P's counselor last night on the phone and she said the same thing. i recounted the story and she said "sweetie, you did nothing wrong, you're just trying to protect P". She's going to write an evaluation letter for P detailing the behaviors she's seen as well as the time frames that they occurred.