We spent the weekend with the ILs for an early Christmas with them. It started off well but it ended up with racist comments and other general fuckery. And then we returned home to find that someone had stolen one of the Christmas decorations from our yard. I am so livid about that. AND THEN my mother is apparently complaining to anyone who will listen about how she's being made to have Christmas dinner this week-- even though that's totally not what actually happened. She's just trying to martyr herself, again.
I am so done with Christmas this year.
I'm sick right now so there's a good possibility that I'm just not comprehending things, but Christmas is this week. Why wouldn't you have Christmas dinner this week?
I am sick and Madison is sick. She was up coughing all night and had a low fever this morning. I am so sick of this shit. We are supposed to travel on Friday and even though it's only Monday, I have anxiety about taking a sick kid anywhere. She goes to the doctor today and I hope they can do something for her.
I am also not looking forward to the toy explosion that will take over my house after Christmas. I'm a brat, I know.
My MIL is already making this holiday all about her and is crying about how no one loves her and how we aren't giving her enough attention on Christmas. She wants to invite herself over and then expects us to make her an elaborate breakfast. I don't want Christmas morning to be a huge event, I just want to spend it with a cup of coffee with my husband and our kids while we open presents. We already planned to hang out with her on Christmas Eve, but that's not enough.
My MIL is also upset that we're going over to my parent's house in the afternoon and she's pissed that we do that every year. She's being a bitch and pretty much chasing everyone away, no one wants to spend it with her because she's just so emotionally draining. We've had her over in the past and she's just so negative and rude. I get tired of her snide remarks and her competing with who gave what to who and how she feels her gifts aren't as great as someone else's. She also likes to point out how rude our kids are if they don't act appreciative of her gifts.....they were toddlers FFS. You just find yourself biting your lip while wanting to scream, "Gah, STFU!"
Post by snipsnsnails on Dec 22, 2014 12:30:58 GMT -5
This holiday season is going to be....not good. My FIL is miserable and determined to make that known. He had a fall in January of this year and has a pinched nerve n his lower back and sciatica pain. It's been ongoing since then, despite physical therapy, epidurals, cortisone and chiropractic evals. He needs surgery and the docs have told him.
The problem is he is so grouchy and mean. I get it. He's in pain, but we went there last night and he seriously spent the whole time yelling about something. I did not grow up in a yelling and cursing household. It makes me anxious and sorta miserable for me and my kids.
They also live in a 2 bedroom beach bungalow and are hoarders and they expect my whole family, SIL's whole family and other SIL, so 10 extra people total to stay overnight for 4 days. Where are we going to sleep??? Oh, did I mention they don't go to bed until 2-4am, typically?
My house is also a wreck and I have so little prepared because I have been anxious about how miserable this experience will be. We alternate XMas and 2 years ago when we were last them (and I was 9 months pregnant), it was the worst Christmas I have ever had. I think this one will be worse b/c of all the tension that will be there waiting for FIL's next outburst.
Post by BunnyMacDougal on Dec 22, 2014 12:43:02 GMT -5
The gift we're giving to MIL is turning out to be a giant pita - Its a gift card to a photographer for sitting fees for SIL's kids (and our one kid too) b/c the only thing she ever mentions to H that she wants is updated pics of her grandkids from the last session three years and two kids ago. I bought that session too, from the same photographer, and so went back to her because she understands the dynamic (SIL will be late, MIL is a late print ordering and condescending jerk who critiques the photos at the review....all that bullshit) and because the chick does a great job. H ended up telling MIL the gift for some reason or other and now MIL is trying to make SIL's schedule and troubles my schedule. But eff her. Not biting. I told her to schedule it whenever they can and we'll come if we can. Not if we can't.
Also Im pissed off at nutcracker ballet ticket prices for Christmas Eve, They're too expensive but I really wanna go and take my mom and Cec. I need a promo code!
Post by sailorgray on Dec 22, 2014 12:43:05 GMT -5
We are going to my IL ALL DAY on Thursday for Christmas.
Then we are going back the next day to look at their vacation pictures. The same people will be there both times (us, IL and BIL). My H doesn't understand why I think it's odd that we just don't look at them on Christmas. We are also hosting my family on Saturday, so I can think of many other things I need to be doing. Oh my.
DH's uncle has been transitioned to hospice care, so all celebrations with that side of the family have been cancelled. I'm certain that's not what he would have wanted, but it seems to be what most in the family feel is "right". So the usual gathering of 20+ people will not take place.
In turn, we've invited the ILs over for a Christmas lunch. It won't be the same, and it took some real nudging to get MIL to agree. I know the ILs are a wreck, but have hopes that this Christmas will be special. They will only have to drive 15 minutes, and will be in our home with DS, who hopefully will experience joy in opening presents for the first time. He may even be in his holiday jammies when they arrive. I had a pre-arranged appointment with my therapist yesterday. I grew up with a pretty screwy family dynamic, so I'm still learning how these things typically flow. She opened my eyes and pointed out that we're on the verge of a generational shift. As DH's parents and aunts/uncles are all in their 80's+, soon holidays will need to transition downward. Maybe we're entering a new phase of traditions. Even though we're losing family, I think we can be thankful for the positives that come from this cycle of life. DH told me last night, that when he was at the hospital MIL was actually telling her sisters she was excited to spend Christmas at our house. That's a 180 from how she reacted on the phone, hours earlier, when I proposed the idea.
This uncle is MILs brother, and FILs best friend. FIL and uncle share the same birthday and year. Both families grew up on the same block in NYC, and have known each other 80+ yrs. So he's not just an uncle or sibling. He's also been part of FILs family/life for as long as he can remember.
Yesterday he became unresponsive. So everyone is just waiting for him to pass. DH went to say goodbye to him yesterday.
Dh was critiquing my wrapping technique from the couch and it turned into a big fight.
IF YOU ARE NOT THE ONE ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING THEN YOU KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT.
This is a universal rule, yes?
This will be the reason H and I divorce someday.
He is the WORST at this. He sits back and tells me how I am doing something wrong. He thinks he is helping. If you aren't doing the work you don't get to have an opinion!
4 hrs of wrapping; plus one overnight order from Amazon because I forgot something. Baking tomorrow and Weds, some 'vacation' from work Should book a massage every year after doing this. Plus I stubbed my left pinky toe pretty good on Friday, and it's achy again; why do I injure myself or get sick when I need to go 100 miles/hr to get things done?
Despite getting presents every night for the past 6 days, DS says he wants Christmas because "presents."
I had this idea it would be easier to make food gifts for DH's relatives than think of random small trinket gifts. Mistake.
I'm having a horrible time with hard memories of my desperately ill newborn at this time 2 years ago. I know H thinks I've lost it but I was crying last night.
Post by leshoequeen on Dec 22, 2014 15:31:43 GMT -5
I'm tired. I need about 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And I've been really bitchy toward H lately. Everything he does is annoying to me....probably due to the fact that I haven't slept
ETA: Also, my sister in law is coming for Christmas and I don't like her. I'm already planning my responses to her bitchy comments.
Post by cuddlyevil on Dec 22, 2014 15:32:53 GMT -5
DD told me I was "taking all of the fun out of things" because I asked her to rewrap a present. When I was her age, I went through wrapping bootcamp at my aunt's house. If we wrapped something poorly, she made us unwrap it (carefully, so we could reuse the paper) and rewrap it.
Dh was critiquing my wrapping technique from the couch and it turned into a big fight.
IF YOU ARE NOT THE ONE ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING THEN YOU KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT.
This is a universal rule, yes?
My husband likes to do that when I vacuum. It's amazing I haven't killed him.
oh crap, now you ruined it. I was sitting her blissfully GBCKing and now you reminded me I neew to vaccum. It looks like hell in here and I was successfully ingnoring it, until now.
DD told me I was "taking all of the fun out of things" because I asked her to rewrap a present. When I was her age, I went through wrapping bootcamp at my aunt's house. If we wrapped something poorly, she made us unwrap it (carefully, so we could reuse the paper) and rewrap it.
*shakes cane*
You would forever be " gets her gift in a bag' in my world. Re-wrap? Lordy.
Sorry, CloudBee. I like what your counselor said, about starting new traditions. There's hope, inasmuch as there can be at times like these, but welcome in the Christmas season.
DD told me I was "taking all of the fun out of things" because I asked her to rewrap a present. When I was her age, I went through wrapping bootcamp at my aunt's house. If we wrapped something poorly, she made us unwrap it (carefully, so we could reuse the paper) and rewrap it.
*shakes cane*
You would forever be " gets her gift in a bag' in my world. Re-wrap? Lordy.
LOL. I have nothing against gift bags. I'm lazy, but when I wrap something I have to do it right. (and my Aunt was kind of a control freak LOL)
There was some drama between my MIL and my sister over the summer. So the holidays are all fucked up because neither wants to be in the others company.
I'm annoyed with how MIL is pretty much the catalyst of all of it and so I dont want her around ever. She just moved about 10 minutes away and has attempted to be around more and more. I shut that down.
She ruined how good our extended families meshed and I cant stand her for it.
We spent the weekend with the ILs for an early Christmas with them. It started off well but it ended up with racist comments and other general fuckery. And then we returned home to find that someone had stolen one of the Christmas decorations from our yard. I am so livid about that. AND THEN my mother is apparently complaining to anyone who will listen about how she's being made to have Christmas dinner this week-- even though that's totally not what actually happened. She's just trying to martyr herself, again.
I am so done with Christmas this year.
I'm sick right now so there's a good possibility that I'm just not comprehending things, but Christmas is this week. Why wouldn't you have Christmas dinner this week?
Sorry, maybe I explained it poorly. I meant she's complaining that she has to cook at all because it's my aunt who usually does the hosting for Christmas dinner. Although there was lot of discussion about when different events were going to take place this week too.
Random people at work are giving me gifts and now I have* to reciprocate. * school politics, professional connections, blah blah yadda
In addition, the children are all sick and coughing all over the place. NO. You are not my child, you do not get to cough on me. Actually, my *own* child can't even do that. Cover your mouths!!
I work in a school and saw zero of the students on my caseload today (should have been between 8-10). I anticipate tomorrow will be the same.
I'm sick right now so there's a good possibility that I'm just not comprehending things, but Christmas is this week. Why wouldn't you have Christmas dinner this week?
Sorry, maybe I explained it poorly. I meant she's complaining that she has to cook at all because it's my aunt who usually does the hosting for Christmas dinner. Although there was lot of discussion about when different events were going to take place this week too.
Nope that explanation was good. Thanks for re-explaining and not laughing at my weird comprehension fail. I'm sorry your mom is adding to your stress.
Post by SpartanGirl on Dec 22, 2014 17:36:08 GMT -5
Sickness is everywhere.
We spent the entire Thanksgiving break with a stomach bug from hell. At least one of the kids was sick every day of November. I am OVER sickness. DD3 had a 103 fever and aches all weekend. DD1 came home from school and asked to go to bed. DS has a horrible cough. Their babysitter was diagnosed with Influenza A two days after watching them. I am praying they don't get it. We're supposed to travel the day after Christmas, including a trip to see my 9 months pregnant BFF (or her new baby if he makes an on time appearance). It's not looking promising right now.
Post by Mrs.Rad888 on Dec 22, 2014 17:54:33 GMT -5
DH and I were supposed to leave today to drive to my parent's for Christmas. Now he doesn't want to go. We didn't have a fight, we don't really do that. But I did something that made him mad, it's something he's complained about before, and I've worked on it, but not good enough apparently, and now I think he's done with this marriage. So, merry Christmas to me. And now I don't know how I'm going to get down to my parent's house, because we're a one-car family.