I lost my dad

jigsy
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I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:21:37 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

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Post by jigsy on Dec 23, 2014 10:21:37 GMT -5

Last night, my dad died.
That is a really sucky sentence to write out.

About 7 weeks ago, we found out he had a mass near his pancreas that was cancer. At that point, the prognosis was about a year. He was unable to start chemo right away because the mass was causing a blockage in his liver, so they had to take care of that.

After three stint placements, Last week, the doctor was happy with the results and cleared him for chemo. He had his scans, at which point they saw he had two blood clots in his lungs. They admitted him to take care of those, but upon further review of the scans, they saw that the cancer had already begun to spread to his liver. At this point, all treatment was to make him comfortable, and he would have about 3 months, give or take.

Yesterday, he began throwing up blood, so he went back to the hospital. He was bleeding out. I had been planning on being home today for the holidays, but I got the call that it wouldn't be soon enough. So I raced to the airport, which in LA rush hour traffic was more of a crawl, to get home to him.
Unfortunately, I didn't make it. It was coming, so my family had me speak to him on the phone to say goodbye. I could tell he was struggling, so I told him I was coming either way, and if he had to go, it was ok. He told me he would hold on, and that I'd see him again.
My sister said he tried for another 30 minutes, he was so uncomfortable, and every few minutes, he would shift, look at the clock, and say it wasn't time yet, he was holding on for his baby, just to see me once more. But it was just too much.

I am so heartbroken. I'm having so much guilt over the should haves. I should have been here sooner. I thought there would be more time, the last time I talked to him before yesterday was on Saturday, and he sounded good. We talked about going to get his favorite ice cream when I was in town.

Sorry for such a sad, heavy topic. But I could use the thoughts and prayers. I was feeling okay about going through my first divorced Christmas, but now I have to this too. It sucks.

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malibu Senior Member Recovery Board Mod Posts: 9,137 Likes: 6,415	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:23:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by malibu on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:06 GMT -5 I'm so sorry, jigsy. Take care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up about the should haves. This is a tough year for you.
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Deleted Posts: 0	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:23:15 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:15 GMT -5 oh honey. There have been TOO many of these type of posts on here and in my Facebook newsfeed the past couple weeks. Its heartbreaking and Im so so sorry. (((hugs)))
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eddy Elder Posts: 24,964 Likes: 44,993	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:23:39 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by eddy on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:39 GMT -5 I am so sorry.
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bonnie Full Member Posts: 1,989 Likes: 916	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:23:53 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bonnie on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:53 GMT -5 I'm so sorry for your loss.
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nonsensetomfoolery Junior Member Posts: 863 Likes: 722	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:04 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nonsensetomfoolery on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:04 GMT -5 I am so very sorry.
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Deleted Posts: 0	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:17 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:17 GMT -5 I am so sorry for you loss.
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RoxMonster Elder Posts: 17,436 Likes: 14,444	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by RoxMonster on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5 I am so very sorry You and your family are in my thoughts.
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oliveyou Full Member Posts: 1,144 Likes: 785	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by oliveyou on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5 Oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss What a great picture. ((hugs))
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qcinoct Full Member Posts: 3,381 Likes: 2,344	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:30 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by qcinoct on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:30 GMT -5 I am so, so sorry for your loss.
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grayskies Full Member Posts: 1,290 Likes: 730	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:42 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by grayskies on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:42 GMT -5 Oh jigsy, I'm so, so sorry. ((Hugs))
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meggers5 Senior Member Posts: 8,566 Likes: 17,876	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:24:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by meggers5 on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:55 GMT -5 I am so sorry. The way you write about him, and the things he said to you and your sister, it's clear you loved each other very much.
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nsl Elder One would think NSL's silly extravagances are a threat to American democracy. Posts: 10,105 Likes: 12,292	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:25:01 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nsl on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:01 GMT -5 I am so very sorry, jigsy.
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awick14 Elder Posts: 18,025 Likes: 15,242	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:25:15 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by awick14 on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:15 GMT -5 ((Hugs))
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AHappierHour Senior Member One glass of champagne and I smile, two and I grin, but three I'm ever so ready to sin. Posts: 8,893 Likes: 4,514	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:25:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by AHappierHour on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:32 GMT -5 I'm so sorry. (( hugs ))
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cville Elder Posts: 31,181 Likes: 140,069	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:25:41 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by cville on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:41 GMT -5 I am so sorry for your loss, and that you didn't get to see him that last time. He heard you and knew you loved him, so you were there with him at the end, even if not physically.
	Back to Top Last Edit: Dec 23, 2014 10:25:54 GMT -5 by cville

Monica Geller Senior Member Posts: 6,711 Likes: 5,748	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:25:45 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Monica Geller on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:45 GMT -5 I'm so sorry! My heart hurts for you.
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jreeds Senior Member Posts: 7,960 Likes: 7,785	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:01 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jreeds on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:01 GMT -5 Oh Jigsy I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you.
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bittybomb Senior Member Posts: 5,297 Likes: 3,015	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:03 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bittybomb on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:03 GMT -5 I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel guilty. I don't know you and I didn't know your dad, but it is obvious from your post that the last thing he'd want you to do is beat yourself up
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piaffe Moderator Mod for Pets Posts: 1,074 Likes: 387	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:11 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by piaffe on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:11 GMT -5 I am so sorry. Sending many thoughts and prayers for you during this hard time.
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shell24 Full Member Enter your message here... Posts: 3,428 Likes: 1,871	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:34 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by shell24 on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:34 GMT -5 I am so so sorry.
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Deleted Posts: 0	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:43 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:43 GMT -5 I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
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feistypants Full Member Posts: 2,218 Likes: 2,512	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:26:50 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by feistypants on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:50 GMT -5 I'm so sorry for your loss.
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tripleshot Senior Member Posts: 9,226 Likes: 7,803	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:27:16 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by tripleshot on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:16 GMT -5 I'm so sorry, jigsy.
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Alwaysabridesmaidf Full Member Posts: 3,047 Likes: 2,735	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:27:33 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:33 GMT -5 I'm so so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. My thoughts are with your family.
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Cricket0619 Full Member Posts: 4,929 Likes: 2,495	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:27:38 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Cricket0619 on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:38 GMT -5 I'm so sorry for your loss.
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mrsukyankee Elder Posts: 22,986 Likes: 30,704	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:27:41 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by mrsukyankee on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:41 GMT -5 I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
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sweetday Full Member Posts: 1,931 Likes: 2,215	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:27:53 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sweetday on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:53 GMT -5 Oh Jigsy - I'm so sorry.
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snipsnsnails Elder Posts: 13,895 Likes: 13,797	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:28:20 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by snipsnsnails on Dec 23, 2014 10:28:20 GMT -5 Oh, jigsy, I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. Your love for one another is so obvious and it will never ever go away. The love will always be there. But I'm so sorry he's gone. ((((Hugs))))
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nicanmatt Full Member Cheese! Posts: 1,614 Likes: 990	I lost my dad Dec 23, 2014 10:28:42 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nicanmatt on Dec 23, 2014 10:28:42 GMT -5 Oh no. I'm so, so sorry. I wasn't able to be there when my dad passed either, so I understand how you are feeling now. I'm SO sorry. Your whole family is in my prayers.
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I lost my dad

Post by jigsy on Dec 23, 2014 10:21:37 GMT -5

Post by malibu on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:06 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:15 GMT -5

Post by eddy on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:39 GMT -5

Post by bonnie on Dec 23, 2014 10:23:53 GMT -5

Post by nonsensetomfoolery on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:04 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:17 GMT -5

Post by RoxMonster on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5

Post by oliveyou on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:20 GMT -5

Post by qcinoct on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:30 GMT -5

Post by grayskies on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:42 GMT -5

Post by meggers5 on Dec 23, 2014 10:24:55 GMT -5

Post by nsl on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:01 GMT -5

Post by awick14 on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:15 GMT -5

Post by AHappierHour on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:32 GMT -5

Post by cville on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:41 GMT -5

Post by Monica Geller on Dec 23, 2014 10:25:45 GMT -5

Post by jreeds on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:01 GMT -5

Post by bittybomb on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:03 GMT -5

Post by piaffe on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:11 GMT -5

Post by shell24 on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:34 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:43 GMT -5

Post by feistypants on Dec 23, 2014 10:26:50 GMT -5

Post by tripleshot on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:16 GMT -5

Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:33 GMT -5

Post by Cricket0619 on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:38 GMT -5

Post by mrsukyankee on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:41 GMT -5

Post by sweetday on Dec 23, 2014 10:27:53 GMT -5

Post by snipsnsnails on Dec 23, 2014 10:28:20 GMT -5

Post by nicanmatt on Dec 23, 2014 10:28:42 GMT -5