I may be in the minority on this, but if my DH said "someone else is doing our stockings" all in a plan to surprise me, when Christmas morning came and I didn't have one for him - I wouldn't be mortified or feel guilty. I would assume that in telling me this, he was doing so knowing full well that it would mean he wouldn't be getting one from me.
So clearly- I would have stayed out of this scenario.
Ditto. I would feel zero guilt about a scenario DH set up himself. If you want a stocking in return, don't lie to your spouse about it.
Oh man, this is far too complicated for me. Reminds me of the first time I went to H's family's for Christmas - everyone contributes to the stockings but I had no idea so didn't have anything to offer. My family doesn't do them, so I didn't think about it - definitely felt like a giant moocher.
Please tell me all about this "everyone contributes" tradition. It sounds like a headache, but maybe I'm wrong.
We do this with my extended family (parents, siblings and spouses). My family's love language is gift giving so it was a big deal when we decided to stop doing gifts for adults and only get them for kids. The family was getting so huge it was a financial strain on a lot of us. Doing stockings was a compromise. Each couple buys a small gift for each person and the gifts go in the stocking. Gifts range from $5-$30 so people have the option of spending what they are able to and want to, but everyone gets a lot of fun gifts to open.
As for OP, it would have been good to suggest to SIL a better idea, but you probably know now what a bad idea it was to get in the middle of it. No good deed goes unpunished. I realize you had good intentions. It was SIL's decision and SIL would be the gift-less one. My DH doesn't care about gifts for himself and gets uncomfortable opening them in front of people, so he would totally do something like this (and lol that he married into my family).
I may be in the minority on this, but if my DH said "someone else is doing our stockings" all in a plan to surprise me, when Christmas morning came and I didn't have one for him - I wouldn't be mortified or feel guilty. I would assume that in telling me this, he was doing so knowing full well that it would mean he wouldn't be getting one from me.
So clearly- I would have stayed out of this scenario.
Ditto. I would feel zero guilt about a scenario DH set up himself. If you want a stocking in return, don't lie to your spouse about it.
Oh man, this is far too complicated for me. Reminds me of the first time I went to H's family's for Christmas - everyone contributes to the stockings but I had no idea so didn't have anything to offer. My family doesn't do them, so I didn't think about it - definitely felt like a giant moocher.
Please tell me all about this "everyone contributes" tradition. It sounds like a headache, but maybe I'm wrong.
My family does it this way. We all buy something small for everyone else's stockings. (There are 11 adults & 3 kiddos in my immediate family.) It's mostly fun. Sometimes frustrating.
You should have stayed out of it. It's pretty common for couples to exchange gifts that aren't equal in value. It tends to even out over time. Clearly your SIL was fine with not getting a stocking this year. I'd probably be a little pissy with you too, if I were her.