to my 13 year old self - ditch that girl you think is your bff. don't waste your high school (and some of college) years chasing her and trying to make the friendship work. good friendships have give and take, you are an awesome person, you shouldn't have to beg someone to be your friend.
Choosr a different MOH when you are wedding planning and dont feel bad. You wont stay friends anyway and she'll piss you off the day of the wedding.
ditto. sadly.
the worst part is, i TOLD h (then fiance) that i would look back and regret the decision, but i was doing it anyway. i find some consolation that i wasn't blindsided by our friendship breaking off, but still. if i knew it wasn't a long term friendship... whyyyyyy?
thankfully she was a good friend through the wedding planning and day of, but i had to hold her hand every single step of the way. she was less than zero help. she added work. and our friendship blew up in grand fashion less than 2 years later, just as predicted
Erm, all the things I can think of are either sleep with him or don't sleep with him, and I'd probably tell 22 yo me not to quit that little career I had going, especially since in part I gave it up for XH.
Post by teatimefor2 on Jan 13, 2015 22:02:18 GMT -5
I would tell 18 year old me not to start smoking and my worth is not tied up in a guy. Don't sleep around because you can. Oh and your thin and pretty.
I would tell 24 year me to plan the wedding I want to have and not feel obligated to do as our parents like.
To take a risk more on myself and my DH, I/we are stronger than we realize. I try to remind myself of the last one often.
Don't Rush to pay off student loans. They are interest free. Save the money instead. Put it in retirement/down payment fund. Move to small town after university and get more bang for my buck. (I would never have done that but sometimes I wish we could. We would be so much more comfortable) Don't start reading the Knot. It's a trap! You will waste so much time there.
Keep all of your November 2011 trip in Egypt instead of only stopping in Cairo, cause shit is going down two months later and you'll probably never be comfortable visiting the region again or at least for the next decade.
Skip the induction that's just going to end up in a c section and demand a spinal.
Post by matildasun on Jan 14, 2015 10:10:14 GMT -5
Some night you will be talking to a cute, but slightly pretentious curly haired guy, and his dorky looking roommate will come in, and you shouldn't be put off by how overly friendly he is or how he introduces himself immediately. This is just how he is, but he is otherwise an awesome guy.
How do I know this? He is now your husband. You may have saved yourself at least three years of dating assholes if you had been less of a snot.
You're not fat. You're going to have a baby and look back on this body fondly. If you think you're fat now, you're not going to be impressed with your future!
Save more in college. For the amount that you worked (and didn't have fun) you should have more in your bank account to show for it.
Go away to college. Really enjoy the experience, make friends, go to parties. I know you feel like you need to stick around and be a parent to your own parents. They need to figure out how to be adults all on their own. You'll have to take care of them when you're older anyway.
Sleep with that guy. And that guy. You're going to get back together with your high school sweetheart. Have fun now, it will all work out later.
Stick with your original major. Accounting is not what you thought it would be and you'll wish you had become a teacher.
To late teens/early 20s me: Don't go to community college first. It will be a terrible decision for you, and you will miss out on opportunities because of it. Go straight to a four-year school and major in something you actually like. Stop being so responsible! Have fun! Study abroad!
I would tell my college self that if I slept more, exercised more and drank just a little less, I'd have a better handle on my feelings of depression and anxiety. I'm not sure why it took me almost a whole decade more to realize this. Also, as part of this same speech, I would say, "you will LOVE yoga."
For kicks, I might also drop in on my self the night of the OJ Simpson white Ford Bronco chase. I had a lot of crazy stuff going on in my life and in my head at that particular moment and I remember watching this happen on TV with some friends and thinking, "shit, I forgot all about my life for the last fifteen minutes" and feeling relieved. If my future self had popped up then and told me that the things consuming me wouldn't end up being a big deal, I'd have let the feeling of relief linger.
I would tell me from the age of 6 to 16 to appreciate my parents more and stop wishing they were like some of my friends' "cooler" parents.
Spoiler: I turned out better than my friends with the "cool" parents. lol
I still think that all the things my parents weren't "cool" about were control issues and unnecessary. My friends with "cool" parents have much better adult relationships because it seems like their parents actually respected them as people.
Post by bernergirl on Jan 14, 2015 14:20:34 GMT -5
to me at every age: sex=\= love.
High school: this too shall pass. Don't even bother with the stupid boys here. That comfort and confidence you find senior year? Keep that up.
College: learn to drink moderately. It will save you a lot of bad experiences. Engage with your professors. They do value your opinions and these relationships will benefit you. And oh yeah, that guy is totally gay. You are never going to date him let alone marry him.
Law school: ENGAGE WITH YOUR PROFESSORS. These people can help your career. And, again, they do value your opinion. You will get a BigLaw job in 3 years. Don't fuck it up with this imposter syndrome thing. Also, don't date that guy. Or if you do, dump him the first time you see his drunken shenanigans. They won't get better. Don't marry him just because you think that's the next step.
Me at 30: since you didn't listen to me and married that guy, get divorced now before you buy that damn giant house in the 'burbs. You are not happy in this relationship. Also, don't date that next guy when you do. Wait it out. If it's right, it'll still be there in a year. You will save yourself so much heartbreak.
Me at 35: you are not infertile. If you don't want a kid, use protection.
The so-called love of your life is going to dump you over the phone when you're 22. Cut him before he drops you. Don't put your whole life into him, keep your friends close because you will need them when he's gone.
Don't drink too much on grad weekend in 2002. Bad things will happen the following morning. Stay home.
Don't kid yourself, don't major in studio art it will do nothing for you in the real world. Take some business classes. Hire a tutor if you can't handle math.
Triple check your grad check, you will see you're actually 4 upper division units short of getting your diploma. Don't waste your last semester taking scuba lessons and yoga.
Call up your grandma and talk to her. She will pass away in Aug. 2011 and you will regret not having a closer relationship with her.
Post by Wonderwall on Jan 14, 2015 16:15:01 GMT -5
Don't waste your time doing the community college thing to save money. Go to that university you want and just get it done already. What degree you have doesn't mean chit. Just get a degree and stop wasting time changing majors!
Don't be afraid to travel abroad for school because "what about my boyfriend ?" He's a good guy. He'll wait
To college IdahoLakeLady: just be who you are. Quit chasing that guy, once you "get him" you'll realize this would never work. Have sex with him, get it out of your system and be done with it. Then enjoy college: it's the only time in your life that you can be entirely selfish. Also, tell your parents to board their money for an upcoming disaster.
That snotty girl in grad school will become one of your best friends. Quit trying to impress her and get to the part where you start drinking too much and watching football with her.
To post- grad self: you don't have to take the first job offered. But if you decide not to take it, make sure and check in on that engineer in the outer department. He's a really nice guy.
To me in April 2013: the news Boss Lady is a snake. Never let your guard down.
To 29 yr old me - Stop letting people get to you and don't take those soul sucking jobs. Take some risks and start that practice rather than delaying it by 4+ years when you will have a surprise baby and it will be much tougher. Although if you had listened to the 25 yr old advice, maybe the surprise baby wouldn't have happened and things would've taken a different course on their own.